Thursday, June 17, 2010        Edition: #4286
Sheet Rocks!


Not too surprisingly, “Two-and-a-Half” men actor Charlie Sheen & wife Brooke Mueller have begun divorce proceedings, TMZ reporting a 41-page agreement will give her primary custody of their twins, a $750,000-plus lump sum settlement, and $55,000-a-month in child support (meaning the highest-paid TV actor is getting off easy) . . . Singer-turned-‘Sausage King’ Jimmy Dean (“Big Bad John”), who died Sunday at age 81, will be laid to rest in a huge $350,000 piano-shaped granite mausoleum on his property in Varina VA (wouldn’t a giant sausage be more apropos?) . . . Sean Combs says he’ll continue to pursue ownership of a UK football club even though negotiations to take over struggling London team Crystal Palace fell through earlier this year (possibly due to his plan to rename them the ‘Diddies’?) . . . “Twilight Saga” star Robert Pattinson says he has his dad to thank for his success with women (actually, it would be a certain overinflated movie series) . . . Actor Taylor Lautner tells “GQ” magazine he forced “Valentine’s Day” screenwriters to redraft the script after refusing their request to take his shirt off in the movie (too bad, that would have at least added one interesting moment to the dud) . . .  “Jersey Shore” star The Situation is apparently copping quite the attitude with the show’s producers of late, perhaps fueled by his appearance on the cover of the “Rolling Stone” (enjoy – by next year you’ll be forgotten) . . . Sorta star Tori Spelling is blaming her drastic recent weight-loss on ‘swine flu, stomach pain, migraines and nerve problems’ (we’re pretty sure you have to just pick one of those excuses and stick with it) . . . . And “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest and rumored love interest, country singer & “Dancing With the Stars” hoofer Julianne Hough have been spotted walking the beach in Malibu CA, arms around each other (icky couple alert!).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (“Almost Alice”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Broken Bells (“Broken Bells”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – She & Him (“Volume Two”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Blitzen Trapper (“Destroyer Of the Void”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Miley Cyrus (“Can’t Be Tamed”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Crash Kings (“Crash Kings”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – Usher (“Raymond vs Raymond”) performs; a contestant is eliminated.
• Songwriters Hall of Fame Awards (NYC) – Phil Collins receives the ‘Johnny Mercer Award’ (career achievement); Taylor Swift receives the ‘Hal David Starlight Award’ (current songwriter making an impact); Leonard Cohen and David Foster are among the 2010 inductees.
• Telluride Bluegrass Festival (Telluride CO) – The 37th annual through Sunday features Alison Krauss & Union Station in their first full-length concert performance since 2007.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Punch Brothers (“Antifogmatic”).

• Drake – He’s publicly thanked the hordes of fans who turned up for his scheduled free concert at NYC’s South Street Seaport on Tuesday. Unfortunately, the heaving crowds prompted riot cops to cancel the show.
• Foo Fighters – They’ve filed suit against an Australian advertising agency over allegations it used a re-recorded portion of their song “Learn to Fly” in a TV ad with permission. The case is due to be heard in court Down Under in August.
• The Jacksons – Michael Jackson’s 48-year-old brother Randy Jackson has been hospitalized in Pasadena CA after a suspected mild heart attack.
• Justin Timberlake – He’s allegedly taken a liking to a blond ‘Laker Girl’ cheerleader but she’s refused to meet him, saying she doesn’t want to be another ‘Bombshell McGee’.
• Katy Perry – She & her actor-fiancé Russell Brand have had matching tattoos inked on their biceps, a Sanskrit phrase that reads ‘Anuugacchati Pravaha’, which means ‘Go With the Flow’. (At least that’s what the artist claims.)
• Miley Cyrus – The “Can’t Be Tamed” singer says she doesn’t dress provocatively, she just chooses her outfits based on what her music sounds like. (Are they making clothing out of crap now?)
• Slash – In a new interview, he reveals that he decided to quit smoking a year ago after watching his mother die from lung cancer. That, plus a bout of pneumonia he suffered himself, motivated him to stop for good he says.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Darkest Hour” – Max Minghella (“Agora”) stars in this sci-fi thriller with Emile Hirsch and Olivia Thirlby. The story centers on a group of young American kids struggling to survive in Russia after an alien invasion. The film is set to shoot this Summer in Moscow with an eye to a 2012 release.
• “Guys & Dolls” – Things may get ugly in Hollywood if Guy Ritchie gets the greenlight to start work on this movie musical remake. Actor John C Reilly (“Chicago”) is determined to nail down the role of ‘Nathan Detroit’, played by Frank Sinatra in the 1955 original. But Justin Timberlake and Oliver Platt, who most recently played the role onstage, are also said to be interested.
• The Hobbit” – Ian McKellen (‘Gandulf’) has assured fans the 2-part “Lord Of the Rings” prequel is on track and he expects shooting to begin later this year. There’s still one snag though: After director Guillermo Del Toro quit the trouble-plagued pic, it was thought that “Harry Potter” director David Yates would take over, but he’s now denying any involvement.
• “Horrible Bosses” – Gossip blogs have been in a frenzy, reporting that 41-year-old Jennifer Aniston will appear opposite Colin Farrell in a sex-crazed – even kinky – role as a nympho-dentist in this quirky comedy due next year. Her rep denies there are any nude or topless scenes, but admits the role requires an ‘aggressive sexuality’ we’ve not seen from her before.
• “Jesus Henry Christ” – This offbeat comedy is about a young genius born by artificial insemination and brought up by his feminist mother (“Little Miss Sunshine’s” Toni Collette). After discovering he has a half-sister, he sets out on a quest to find his father (“Frost/Nixon’s” Michael Sheen). The Julia Roberts-produced project is now shooting in Toronto.
• “Transformers 3” – Director Michael Bay has been told he can’t destroy Washington DC in the series’ 2nd sequel, due in 2011. A request to shoot action sequences near the White House has been denied but he’s still hoping to stage a car-chase around the National Mall. However, a Park Service spokesman says it would be more appropriately shot in a Hollywood studio.


A patent application recently filed by computer giant Apple reveals that it’s developing ‘heartbeat sensors’ to put into portable electronic devices such as the iPhone. While the technology in an iPhone might be used simply to monitor the heart rate of cardiac patient-users, the patent states that it could also have wider usage such as allowing the owner to unlock the phone or authenticating financial transactions. Apple claims that simply placing the device in a pocket could enable it to detect the unique electrical patterns produced by a user’s heart. (First they steal your mind, now your heart.)
– “ Daily Telegraph”


How to squeeze a buck when traveling …
• Know your travel style, and stick to it.
• Be flexible with scheduling to get the best bang for your travel buck.
• Utilize online resources to score the best deals.
• Have paperwork (ie: passports) ready ahead of time so you can act quickly on bargains.
• Look for all-inclusive packages. Some can be almost cheaper than living at home.
• Save big on flights by leaving and returning midweek.
• Take currency exchange differences into consideration when choosing a destination.
– Condensed from “Reader’s Digest”


Here’s a medical condition you may not have heard of … ‘Boomeritis’. Doctors are using the catch-all term for a range of injuries now being suffered by Baby Boomers who are hurting themselves while trying to stay active. There are increasing numbers of sprains, strains, tears, and breaks being suffered by older athletes who aren’t playing their age. Studies find the most risky sports for aging bodies include biking, basketball, running, and skiing. ([Newscaster] got a hernia playing chess.)
– “Madison Magazine”


Got a dinner date coming up? These foods are proven aphrodisiacs …
• Asparagus – The vitamin E in green eats helps your body churn out hormones.
• Bananas – They deliver potassium, a nutrient key to muscle strength.
• Chilies – The chemical in hot peppers gets blood pumping and stimulates nerve endings.
• Chocolate – Cocoa contains a stimulant that brings feelings of well-being and excitement.
• Oysters – Full of zinc, a mineral that cranks up the production of testosterone.
• Pomegranates – The pom owes its passion power to antioxidants.
• Walnuts – Packed with omega-3 fatty acids, which keep hormone production at its peak.
• Watermelon – Increases the nitric oxide in your body, thereby speeding up circulation.
(Now let’s see you plan a menu with those ingredients!)
– Adapted from “Cosmopolitan”


A recent study has discovered that men are more likely to be bitten by mosquitoes, not because of any gender preference, but because of their greater body size. It seems larger people tend to attract more skitters due to their greater relative heat and exhaled carbon dioxide. A related study of pregnant women and their non-pregnant counterparts finds that pregnant women attracted twice as many mosquitoes. Why? They exhale more CO2 and have higher body temps, allowing mosquitoes to detect them more easily. (They like us fat ‘n juicy … just like we like steak.)
– “New York Times”


• 46% of people surveyed will walk right by a penny on the street.
• 25% would sell their best friend’s deepest secret for $3,000.
• 59% would shave their heads for $10,000.
• 22% would fight a heavyweight boxer for $100,000.
• For $1 million, 60% would take the rap for somebody else and serve 6 months in jail.
• For $10 million, 25% would abandon all of their friends and 7% would commit murder.
– “Are You Normal About Money” by Bernice Kanner


In a recent survey, just 53% of us say we come back from vacation feeling rested and rejuvenated. 30% admit to having trouble coping with work stress while away. And attempting to relax even makes some people sick. Some 3% of the population suffers from ‘leisure sickness’ when they go on vacation.
– “Wall Street Journal”


1943 [67] Barry Manilow (Pincus), Brooklyn NY, oldies singer who’s sold more than 76 million records worldwide (“I Write the Songs”, “Copacabana”)/Vegas headliner (Paris Hotel)

1960 [50] Thomas Haden Church (McMillen), Yolo CA, movie actor (“Spider-Man 3”, “Sideways”)

1963 [47] Greg Kinnear, Logansport IN, movie actor (“Flash of Genius”, “Little Miss Sunshine”)/former TV personality (“Later With Greg Kinnear” 1994, E!’s “Talk Soup” 1991-94)

1970 [40] Will Forte, Alameda CA, TV actor (“Saturday Night Live” since 2002)/movie actor (“MacGruber”, “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”)

1980 [30] Venus Williams, Lynwood CA, #2-ranked tennis player with fastest recorded serve in WTA history (127 mph)/21 Grand Slam titles/older sister of tennis player Serena Williams

• “Eat Your Vegetables Day”, an observance likely begun by somebody’s mommy somewhere. What’s the absolute worst-tasting veggie? Broccoli? Brussels sprouts? Cabbage? Parsnips?

• “International Violin Day”, celebrating composer Igor Stravinsky’s birth anniversary in 1882. A good day to pluck your G-string.

• “Recess at Work Day”, a day to make time for a health and wellness break. (Hopscotch in the parking lot, anyone?)

• “World Day to Combat Desertification & Drought”, hifalutin UN terminology suggesting we may have a water shortage problem in many parts of the world.

1994 [16] California Highway Patrol begins a 60-mile, low-speed pursuit of murder suspect OJ Simpson in a white Ford Bronco driven by his friend Al Cowlings (the entire chase is covered by cameras in helicopters and seen live by an estimated 95 million on TV)


2005 [05] Coldplay’s “ X&Y” album hits #1 in 22 countries worldwide

1994 [16] 1st ‘World Cup’ of soccer held in the USA opens in Chicago (eventually won by Brazil)


1990 [20] After 8 days of work, 12 students in Singapore complete a pyramid built from 263,810 bottle caps


[Fri] “Jonah Hex”; “Toy Story 3” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Work@Home Father’s Day
[Sat] World Sauntering Day
[Sun] Fathers Day
[Mon] First Day of Summer
[Mon] Ride to Work On Your Motorcycle Day
This Week Is … Universal Fathers Week
This Month Is … Rebuild Your Life Month


The CNN host may have the answer to how to cheat on your wife at age 76, but he sure seems perplexed by a lot of other questions when he posts ‘kingsthings’ on Twitter. Such as …
• How do they make string cheese?
• At a movie theater, which armrest is yours?
• When people say they got off on the wrong foot, which foot is it?
• Why don’t TV weather forecasters ever explain why they were wrong?
• It’s says ‘delicious’ on my dog food bag. How do they know?
• How do you kick the tires when you buy a car online?
• Why does Starbucks call a small coffee ‘tall’?
– Excerpted from


Would you want your guy to get a ‘wax job’? Would he do it?


• “Dear Dad, thanks for teaching me what to say when I hit my thumb with the hammer.”
• “Happy Father’s Day! If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have grown up wanting to dress like Mom.”
• “Dear Pops, no one can watch 4 sports at the same time like you can.”
• “Happy Father’s Day, thanks for delaying the vasectomy until after I was born.”
• “You must be good for something, despite what Mom says.”
• “Because of you Dad, I think of home whenever I hear a belch.”

If I were two-faced, would I wear this one?


Today’s Question:  The average cost of THIS is $3,700 an hour.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A wedding.


Well and quickly seldom meet.

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