Friday, June 18, 2010        Edition: #4287
Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

67-year-old Harrison Ford & 45-year-old Calista Flockhart have been wed by New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson in Santa Fe, where Ford is currently filming “Cowboys & Aliens” (they’ve kicked the tires for 7-plus years so might as well give marriage a spin) . . . Justin Timberlake and Leona Lewis are among the names rumored to be heading to ‘McKinley High’ during the next season of “Glee” (FOX) but there’s no official word yet (the show’s becoming bigger than the guest ‘stars’) . . . “Glee” actor Matthew Morrison (‘Mr Shue’) just bought a $1.3-million mansion (although in LA, that’s just a ‘starter mansion’) . . . A new, interactive, sing-along version of the 1978 movie “Grease” is coming to movie theaters in major cities this July (“You’re the one that I want ooo, ooo ooo ….”) . . . More than 46,000 people have joined a Facebook group touting 79-year-old former “Star Trek” actor William Shatner as Canada’s next Governor General, although ‘Captain Kirk’ seems to have little interest in the idea (mostly because – he’s a 79-year-old actor!) . . . 31-year-old movie actor Chris Klein (“American Pie” and, most recently, “American Pie”) has posted bail and been released from jail after being arrested in LA on suspicion of DUI (a sure sign he’s in a tailspin – he called Lindsay Lohan’s bail bondsman) . . . And somehow this seems like justice – the children of axed reality TV star Jon Gosselin (“Jon & Kate Plus 8”) now make more money than he does.

• “CMT Crossroads” (CMT) – Tonight Keith Urban with John Mayer.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Toni Braxton (“Pulse”).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Miley Cyrus (“Can’t Be Tamed”).
• “Guys Choice” (Spike) – Sunday’s special is highlighted by Ozzy Osbourne presenting actor Robert Downey Jr with the ‘Iron Man Award’ and actress Charlize Theron being named the ‘Decade’s Hottie’.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The XX (“XX”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight The Roots (“How I Got Over”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight alt-country singer-songwriter Fred Eaglesmith (“Cha Cha Cha”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – This morning Devo (“Something for Everybody”).
• “Miley Cyrus in London: Live At the O2” (ABC) – Tonight more hype for today’s release of the “Can’t Be Tamed” album.
• “MuchMusic Video Awards” (Toronto) – Sunday Miley Cyrus hosts; Drake leads nominations with 7; and other performers include Adam Lambert, Hedley, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Marianas Trench.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Betty White hosts in a rerun; Jay-Z is musical guest.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning James Taylor & Carole King (“Live At the Troubadour”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Kelis (“Flesh Tone”).

• Alan Jackson – The video for “A Hard Hat and a Hammer” features real-life hardworking men and women on construction sites, in mines, at fire stations, and in restaurants.
• The Beatles – Today John Lennon’s handwritten lyrics to “A Day In the Life” go on sale at a Sotheby’s auction in NYC. The single sheet of paper is expected to fetch more than $500,000. The lyrics once belonged to Mal Evans, The Beatles’ road manager.
• “Glee” – The show’s “Journey to Regionals” EP has debuted at #1 on the “Billboard” album chart.
• Justin Bieber – Cops in Maryland hit a local bar after receiving a call claiming the 16-year-old was inside boozing, but what they found was … a woman who looks just like him. She turned out to be a very legal 27.
• Lady Gaga – Just what the world needs: ‘The Lady Gag Gag’ blow-up doll! Even the press release is NSFW … although you gotta give them props for the quip ‘poke-her face’. Another classy offering from Pipedream Products.
• Ozzy Osbourne – He’s set to become one of only a few people in the world to have his full genome analyzed, as a company called Knome will use a blood sample to examine his genetic code in an attempt to figure out how he’s still alive after decades of drug and alcohol abuse.
• U2 – They stand to lose up to $150 million from the postponement of their world tour due to Bono’s back surgery. Their manager, Paul McGuinness, reveals in “The Sun” that touring still costs them about $750,000 a day … whether they play or not.

• “Jonah Hex” ( PG-13 Action Western ): This bigscreen adaptation of a DC Comics ‘Weird Western Tales’ story was originally inspired by Clint Eastwood’s spaghetti Westerns. Josh Brolin, Megan Fox, and John Malkovich star in the story of a scarred Old West bounty hunter who’s enlisted to prevent the arrival of ‘Hell on Earth’.
• “Toy Story 3” ( G-Rated Animated Adventure ): In this sequel to the sequel (1999), ‘Andy’s toys face new trials when they’re dumped off at a daycare center. Voice cast includes Tom Hanks (‘Woody’) and Tim Allen (‘Buzz’), with Michael Keaton & Emily Hahn as ‘Barbie & Ken’. Showing in both 2-D and the more expensive 3-D. It’s also the first Pixar film to be released in IMAX.

Hewlett-Packard launched a line of web-connected printers last week that allow users to print content directly from the web or send content from their mobile phone to a remote printer using an e-mail address specific to that printer. Sounds like a good idea. Now the bad news – HP plans to use Yahoo’s advertising network in a pilot program that will deliver targeted ads for content printed with this latest line of web-connected printers. (Uh, thanks but no thanks.)
– IDG News Service

There’s a growing market in luxury mattresses. The most expensive American-made model is the ‘Palais Royale’ by ES Kluft & Co, which costs $33,000. It contains 10 lbs of cashmere and its coils are tied together by hand with Italian twine. But that’s nothing compared to the higher-end European models. The ‘Vividus’ king-size mattress set from Hastens Sagar of Sweden has a Swedish-pine frame with thick layers of horsehair, cotton, flax, and wool inside. It takes 160 hours to assemble, entirely by hand. Price? $69,500. (Roughly the same as a Porsche Cayenne S hybrid SUV.)
– “Wall Street Journal”


• Choose the right seat. On an airplane, sit near the wing because it’s less turbulent there. In a car, drive or sit in the front seat as it’s better to be looking forward than watching out a side window. On boats, the middle area is the least rocky.
• Don’t read while traveling. Reading increases the conflict between what the eyes see and what the body feels.
• Focus on a fixed object or the horizon. This will give your brain a visual cue that matches the messages it’s receiving from the rest of your body.
• Lie down and close your eyes. Reducing the amount of visual stimulus can also ease symptoms.

The concept of government-backed web censorship is usually associated with nations where human rights and freedom of speech are routinely curtailed. But if Canberra’s plans for a mandatory Internet filter go ahead, Australia may soon become the first Western democracy to join the ranks of Iran, China, and a handful of other nations where access to the Internet is restricted by the state. The government claims it has the support of 85% of Australian Internet Service Providers. (Would you want ‘Big Brother’ watching out for you?)
– “TIME”


It was only a matter of time until the ‘vuvuzela’ became an iPhone app. An application that mimics the incessant blasting of the plastic African trumpet, which has become the soundtrack of the World Cup in South Africa, has now been downloaded more than 1 million times. Ironically, the app was designed by a Dutch duo. The Netherlands has been the most vocal opponent of the cacophonous horns, its players blaming them for their inability to hear referees’ whistles. (If you haven’t heard the sound yet, it’s akin to a swarm of angry bees.)


No more soft drinks, torta sandwiches, salted tamarind candy, pork rinds, or atolé (a thick and sweet cornstarch-based drink similar to hot chocolate) in Mexican schools. Beginning next school year, assuming that new rules are approved, Mexico will ban all junk food from its 220,000 public and private elementary and middle schools, serving 25 million students. Why? The country’s Health Minister notes that consumption of fruits & vegetables in the last 15 years has fallen by 40% while consumption of sweet drinks has risen by 50%. (Veggies need a new PR rep.)

The US Army has just ditched Velcro from its uniforms because the fastener gets clogged with dirt and it’s also thought the ‘ripping’ noise it makes betrays military positions to the enemy.


1942 [68] (Sir) Paul McCartney, Liverpool UK, rock billionaire (Wings-“Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, Beatles-“Let it Be”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1999)

1942 [68] Roger Ebert, Urbana IL, syndicated TV (“Ebert & Roeper”) & newspaper film critic (“Chicago Sun-Times” since 1967)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2005)/recovering from thyroid cancer and, more recently, a hip fracture

1971 [39] Nathan Morris, Philadelphia PA, oldies singer (Boyz II Men-“I’ll Make Love to You”, “End Of the Road”)

1976 [34] Blake Shelton, Ada OK, country singer (w/Trace Adkins-“Hillbilly Bone”, “She Wouldn’t Be Gone”)

Classic rock singer Ann Wilson (Heart) is 60; Movie actress Kathleen Turner (“Romancing the Stone”) is 56; Singer/dancer/choreographer Paula Abdul (ex-“American Idol”) is 48; TV host Lara Spencer (“The Insider” ) is 41; Movie actress Zoe Saldana (“Avatar”) is 32.

Oldies singer Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) is 68; Oldies singer Anne Murray (“Snowbird”) is 65; Oldies singer Lionel Richie (“All Night Long”) is 61; Rock bassist Michael Anthony (Chickenfoot) is 56; Movie actress Nicole Kidman (“Australia”) is 43; Movie actor Chris Mintz-Plasse (“Kick-Ass”) is 21.

• “Autistic Pride Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘neuro-diversity’ of people on the autism spectrum that’s designed to shift views of autism from ‘disease’ to ‘difference’.
• “Go Fishing Day” which, if you can pull it off, would allow you to post a sign on your door saying ‘Gone Fishing’. Work, after all, is for people who don’t know how to fish.
• “International Picnic Day” a great time to enjoy a meal al fresco, or if you don’t know him … with anyone else you choose. It’s a pseudo-holiday for humans but a regular working day for ants.
• “International Sushi Day”, the 2nd annual conceived originally as a Facebook page. Quote: “Every day should be Sushi Day, but like anything that is this amazing, it deserves a day unto itself.” The only requirement for celebration … eat sushi.
• “Splurge Day”, when we’re encouraged to go out and do something indulgent. (Don’t go overboard, because tomorrow is ‘Return Everything You Bought on Splurge Day’.)
• “Work@Home Father’s Day”, held the Friday before “Father’s Day” to honor fathers ‘who work from home as a means of providing balance between professional satisfaction and family interaction’. They’d be saluted Sunday like other dads except … they’ll likely be working.

• “Canadian North Midnight Classic”, the 62nd annual all-night golf tournament in Yellowknife NT celebrating the Summer Solstice.
• “Dragon Boat Festival”, the 22nd annual in Vancouver, North America’s largest version of the event which is expected to attract upwards of 200 dragon boat teams from around-the-world.
• “World Juggling Day”. You can create the sound of juggling with your co-host by slapping your knees quickly and throwing in lots of grunts and interjections like ‘Hey!’.
• “World Sauntering Day”, a day to ‘revive the art of Victorian sauntering, and discourage jogging, lollygagging, sashaying, fast walking and trotting’. Can we stumble?

• “Father’s Day”, first proclaimed by the mayor of Spokane WA 100 years ago (June 19, 1910) at the request of one Louise Smart Dodd. It’s now celebrated in about 20 countries, including Britain, Canada, and the USA on the 3rd Sunday of June. “Father’s Day” in Australia & NZ will be celebrated September 5th this year. An estimated $1 billion is now spent each year on “Father’s Day” gifts. A great tradition or just another day of forced obligation?
• “Husband Caregiver Day”, honoring those dedicated men who, due to circumstances and selflessness, take on the responsibility of becoming primary caregivers for their spouses.
• “International Surfing Day”, an unofficial, environmentally-conscious, sports-centered observance that celebrates the sport, the lifestyle, and the sustainability of ocean resources.
• “World Refugee Day”, first declared by the UN in 2001 as an expression of solidarity with Africa, which hosts the most refugees.


1905 [105] The wooden chair that’s become a symbol of summer, the ‘Adirondack Chair’, is patented by Harry Bunnell of Westport NY (in Canada, it’s known as the ‘Muskoka Chair’)

1980 [30] Mrs Shakuntala Devi mentally multiplies two 13-digit numbers in 28 seconds

2000 [10] Tiger Woods wins the US Open Golf Championship by a record 15 strokes

[Mon] First Day of Summer
[Mon] Daylight Appreciation Day
[Mon] Baby Boomers Recognition Day
[Mon] Ride to Work On Your Motorcycle Day
[Mon] World Handshake Day
[Tues] “Rolling Stones In Exile” DVD release
[Tues] Stupid Guy Thing Day
This Week Is … Fiddlers Week
This Month Is … Pest Control Month


We tell you the TV dad’s name, you tell us the show …
• Homer Simpson … “The Simpsons”
• Robby Stewart … “Hannah Montana”
• Alan Harper … “Two-and-a-Half Men”
• Dr Heathcliff Huxtable … “The Cosby Show”
• Tony Micelli …. “Who’s the Boss?”
• Danny Tanner … “Full House”
• Tim ‘The Tool Man’ Taylor … “Home Improvement”
• Michael Taylor … “My Two Dads”
• Michael Paul Brady … “The Brady Bunch”
• Jim Anderson … “Father Knows Best”
– Adapted from

What’s the absolute best workout song? (Equinox Fitness Centers use computer models to select workout music. It has to be up-tempo, which is defined as 130 beats per minute.)


The secret of returning from Las Vegas with a small fortune is to take a large fortune with you.


Which will you find in Krakow, Poland?
a. The Paul McCartney Yoga Studio.
b. The Paul McCartney Vegan Restaurant.
c. The Paul McCartney Kindergarten. [CORRECT. Pupils learn English through his songs.]


Today’s Question: More of THIS is sold on Sunday than on any other day of the week.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Ice cream.


Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.

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