Tuesday, June 29, 2010         Edition: #4294
When You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Now that director Guillermo del Toro is out, “Lord Of the Rings” maestro Peter Jackson is in negotiations to direct the 2-part movie adaptation of “The Hobbit”, due in 2012 and 2013 (seems a no-brainer, no?) . . . Famous person Lindsay Lohan will appear in a new reality TV show that will follow her mom, Dina, and her siblings (because we just don’t hear enough about these people) . . . Movie star Michael Douglas is facing a legal battle over his take from the upcoming “Wall Street” sequel (“Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps”, out September 24th), ex-wife Diandra Douglas claiming their 2000 divorce stipulates she gets half his earnings from projects he worked on during their 20-year marriage – including the original “Wall Street” and any possible ‘spin-offs’ (oops, should have read the fine print!) . . . Oscar-nominated “Hurt Locker” actor Jeremy Renner has experienced the real deal, donning a Kevlar suit and protective mask to walk through a real-life minefield in Afghanistan as part of a UN mission to highlight victims of hidden explosives and those who help defuse them (“Hi, I’m not a bomb disposal expert but I played one in the movies …”) . . . 20-year-old “Harry Potter” actress Emma Watson (‘Hermione Granger’) has confirmed she’s dating George Craig, singer with the Brit band One Night Only, and admits they’ve grown increasingly close since working together on an ad campaign for fashion house Burberry (she’ll appear in the band’s next video) . . . And reality TV’s Kardashian sisters (Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe) believe they’ve created the ‘perfect’ fake tanning product, ‘Kardashian Glamour Tan’ gel, which they insist is non-streaking and non-staining (hey, if anyone knows ‘fake’, it’s these people).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The-Dream (“Love King”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Raveonettes (“In & Out Of Control”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“I Learned the Hard Way”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Dolly Parton (“Live From London”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Macy Gray (“The Sellout”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Aerosmith – Now that his rehab is complete and infighting amongst his bandmates is over, Steven Tyler says they’ve never sounded better and he’s singing better than ever. That’s a good thing, their North American tour kicks off July 23rd in Oakland CA.
• Bon Jovi – Guitarist Richie Sambora recently launched the women’s clothing line White Trash Beautiful, co-created with designer/musician Nikki Lund. Now he says he’s excited about expanding the label to include menswear.
• Eminem – He tells “Billboard” he can’t go down into the recording studio he built in his basement anymore because it reminds him of a very dark period at the height of his drug addiction.
• John Fogerty – Today he releases “Centerfield – 25th Anniversary Edition”, a digitally remastered version of his 1985 album. He’ll perform the title track at the Baseball Hall of Fame induction July 25th in Cooperstown NY to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the song.
• Justin Bieber – His rep has slammed rumors the teen sensation’s mom, Pattie Mallette, is set to appear in a raunchy photo-shoot for “Playboy”, branding the idea ‘utterly erroneous’.
• Nickelback – Today they make their “Rock Band” videogame debut in the Rock Band Music Store of downloadable content with tracks from 4 of their albums.
• Ozzy Osbourne – He’s announced his first international tour in 3 years, to promote his latest album “Scream”. It kicks off tonight at Folkestone UK. Ozzy has revealed he parted ways with longtime guitarist Zakk Wylde because it was becoming more and more difficult to be sober around someone who drinks so heavily.
• Rush – Tonight they embark on their “Time Machine Tour” in Albuquerque NM. They’ll play their hit 1981 album “Moving Pictures” in its entirety at each show.
• 3OH!3 – Today they release the new album “Streets Of Gold”. A deluxe CD/DVD version includes a 30-minute making-of documentary.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:

• “The Crazies” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): Timothy Olyphant (“Deadwood”) plays a small-town Iowa sheriff trying to sort out why a toxin is turning local residents into violent psychopaths. Co-stars Radha Mitchell (“Finding Neverland”), Danielle Panabaker (“Shark”). Shot on location in Iowa and Georgia.
• “Hot Tub Time Machine” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Four guy friends who are bored with their adult lives travel back to their respective ‘80s heydays, thanks to a time-bending hot tub. Stars John Cusack (“2012”), Rob Corddry (ex-“Daily Show”), Craig Robinson (“The Office”), and Clark Duke (“Greek”). Shot in Vancouver and Fernie, British Columbia.
• “Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief” ( PG Adventure Fantasy ): A high school student embarks on an adventure when the gods of Mount Olympus and assorted monsters walk out of the pages of his Greek mythology texts and into his life. Stars Logan Lerman, Pierce Brosnan, Uma Thurman,
• “When You’re Strange: A Film About The Doors” ( Documentary ): A look at the late ‘60s and early ’70s rock band, including rare exclusive footage. Narrated by actor Johnny Depp.
• Also released today “The Closer: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “How the Earth Changed History” (Documentary); “Mad About You: Season 4” (Vintage TV); and “Tom & Jerry: Deluxe Anniversary Collection” (Animation).

WAYS TO EAT HEALTHY AT RESTAURANTS:

• When it comes to ethnic food, Japanese, Thai, Greek, and Indian restaurants are often easier on the waistline than Mexican, Chinese, or Italian.
• Kick your meal off with a tomato- or stock-based soup rather than a calorie-rich cream-base.
• Ask for salad dressing to be served on the side and apply no more than 2 tablespoons.
• Your main plate should be 50% vegetables, 25% protein, and 25% grains.
• Beware of menu terms such as ‘pan-fried’, ‘crispy’, ‘dipped’, ‘scalloped’, ‘gratin’, and ‘alfredo’. Dishes featuring those loaded words have a lot of hidden fat and sodium.
• Don’t be afraid to ask your server how food is prepared, particularly regarding butter, oil, and salt content.
• Pick lower-calorie dessert choices such as sorbets or non-dairy gelatos. Or instead of getting a dessert, have a skim milk latte.
– Condensed from BestHealthMag.ca

BABY ON HOLD:

Women in their late 30s are increasingly freezing their eggs because they are still hunting for ‘Mr Right’, new research suggests. A study of women at a Belgian clinic found half wanted to freeze their eggs to take the pressure off finding a partner. A third were also having eggs frozen as an ‘insurance policy’ against infertility. Many students are also considering the procedure so they can focus on a career before motherhood. (Instead of a ‘bun in the oven’, you now have a ‘nipper in the icebox’.)
– BBC News

BIGGEST DRIVING ETIQUETTE MISTAKES:

• Driving Too Slowly – Vehicles moving slower than the flow of traffic can become dangerous obstacles.
• Double Parking – Instead of protecting your precious vehicle by hogging 2 spots in a parking lot, park in the boonies at the edge of the lot and walk. It will do you some good.
• Honking at Traffic Lights – Reduce your stress by letting the guy in front of you take that extra half-second to go when the light turns green. You’ll likely meet again at the next light anyway.
• Leaving Your Brights On – Keeping your high-beams on is more than just a D-bag move; blinding oncoming traffic is dangerous. Use your high-beams only when necessary.
• Not Letting Others Merge – Refusing to budge to allow another vehicle onto the freeway is not only a dick move, it has the potential to cause a pretty severe accident.
• Not Using Turn Signals – It takes so little effort to let others know if and when you are intending to turn or change lanes. It’s not only safer … it’s simple courtesy.
• Sharing Your Music – Cranking your sub-woofer so that anyone within 5 blocks feels the Earth move is really impressive … if you’re 12.
• Tailgating – Riding the bumper of the car in front of you won’t help you get to where you need to be any sooner. So why drive up another driver’s blood pressure for no reason?
– Adapted from AskMen.com

MAKING AIR CONDITIONERS MORE EFFICIENT:

• Clean or replace the air filter once a month.
• Direct air vents upward, because cool air falls.
• Start it well before the hottest part of the day.
• Weatherstrip doors & windows.
• Don’t use appliances that produce heat during the hottest part of the day.
– Condensed from “Family Circle”

BRIGHT IDEA:

Starting in mid-2011, consumers shopping for light bulbs will notice new labeling on packaging designed to help them choose among the different types of bulbs on the market. The back of each package will have a ‘Lighting Facts’ label modeled after the ‘Nutrition Facts’ label that is currently found on food packages. It will provide information about …
• Watts (the amount of energy the bulb uses).
• Lumens (the brightness of light perceived by the human eye).
• Energy cost.
• Bulb’s life expectancy.
• Light appearance (ie: ‘warm’ or ‘cool’).
• Whether the bulb contains mercury.
– Digg.com

SERVICE FEES:

Many airlines are offering relief to passengers fed up with long lines, battles for overhead bin space, and stiff penalties for changing reservations … but only if you pay more fees. Several airlines are selling the chance to jump to the front of check-in lines, boarding queues, and even security line-ups for about $10-to-$30 per flight. Perks that used to be reserved only for elite-level frequent fliers and first-class passengers are now up for grabs to those who’ll pay to jump the line. Lots of travelers are said to be buying. (Is there a ‘be nice to me’ charge?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

DEAD-END JOBS:

Occupations that are expected to decline between now and 2012 thanks mainly to automation and other changes in technology …
• Computer Operator
• Electrical & Electronic Equipment Assembler
• Farmer/Rancher
• Postal Service Mail Sorter/Mail Processing-Machine Operator
• Secretary (except Legal, Medical and Executive)
• Sewing Machine Operator/Textile Knitting & Weaving Machine Tenders
• Stock Clerk/Order Filler
• Telephone Operator
• Travel Agent
• Word Processor/Data-Entry Keyer
– CareerBuilder.com

BUREAUCRACY RUN RAMPANT:

Buying a dozen eggs in the UK could be a thing of the past, as a new European Union labeling law kicks in. The new rule decrees that food can’t be sold by the numbers. That means eggs and other products such as bread rolls will be sold by weight instead of by the number contained in a package. So instead of buying a dozen eggs, the packaging will tell you its 744 grams. A bag of a dozen dinners rolls …. 644 grams. The regulations will not allow both the weight and the quantity to be displayed. (Guess you won’t be able to pick up a ‘6-pack’ either.)
– “Daily Mail”

DID YOU KNOW?

• Scotland has the highest proportion of cocaine users in the world.
– “The Independent”
• There are 6,000 islands in Greece, but only 227 are inhabited.
– Guardian.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 06.29.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [61] Dan Dierdorf, Canton OH, NFL analyst (CBS)/NFL Hall of Fame player (St Louis Cardinals)

1953 [57] Colin Hay, Kilwinning, Scotland, oldies singer (Men at Work-“Who Can It Be Now?”)

1967 [43] Melora Hardin, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Jan Levinson’ on “The Office” 2005-08)

1978 [32] Nicole Scherzinger, Honolulu HI, pop singer (Pussycat Dolls-“Jai Ho!”, “Don’t Cha”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Camera Day”, a celebration of the tradition of recording the moments of your life. These days that’s most often done on your cellphone.

• “Remote Control Day”, celebrating a favorite observance of couch potatoes everywhere. The first remote sold with a TV on this date in 1964. Zenith Radio Corporation’s ‘Lazy Bones’ used a wire cable that ran from the TV set to the viewer.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2003 [07] Movie star Katherine Hepburn dies in Old Saybrook CT at age 96 (winner of a record 4 Academy Awards for ‘Best Actress’)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1937 [73] 1st ‘Snowmobile’, built by Armand Bombardier in Québec (originally called ‘Ski-dog’, later ‘Ski-doo’)

2007 [03] Apple Inc officially releases the ‘iPhone’ (and phone bills go through the roof)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1966 [44] ‘World’s Largest Hotdog’ measures 3,124 feet-long (Humberside, England)

COMING UP . . .

[Wed] “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” opens in  movie theaters
[Thurs] Canada Day
[Thurs] Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day
[Thurs] International Joke Day
[Fri] World UFO Day
This Week Is … Special Recreation Week
This Month Is … Bathroom Reading Month

BULL’S BITS


TELEVANGELIST OR DENTAL PRODUCT?
• Popoff [Televangelist]
• Orajel [Dental Product]
• Osteen [Televangelist]
• Duplantis [Televangelist]
• Elmex [Dental Product]
• Biotene [Dental Product]
• Paulk [Televangelist]
• Clinpro [Dental Product]
• Dr Collins [Dental Product]
• Quiboloy [Televangelist]
– Thanks to Mike Harding

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who would you least like to be stuck in an elevator with?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Sometimes I think I understand everything … then I regain consciousness.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: Eating THESE has been found to inhibit sexual desire in women.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cherries. (“Women’s Health Magazine”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Discretion is putting two and two together and keeping your mouth shut.


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