Thursday, June 21, 2007        Edition: #3558
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

TODAY 80-year-old singing legend Tony Bennett will reportedly wed his long-time 47-year-old girlfriend, Susan Crow, in Manhattan’s City Hall after an 18-year partnership (his 3rd go round at marriage) . . . TODAY through June 30th “Capital Idea!” runs in Ottawa, the city’s newest summer festival that showcases indie-rock bands such as The Walkmen, Destroyer, Fiery Furnaces, and Xiu Xiu at a variety of downtown venues . . . 45-year-old Rosie O’Donnell has confirmed that she’s meeting with producers of “The Price Is Right” about the possibility of replacing retired host Bob Barker (her big money demands will likely make CBS honchos decide the price is wrong) . . . CNN has axed evening anchor Paula Zahn and, according to several reports, plans to replace her with NBC-TV’s 40-year-old “Today” weekend co-host Campbell Brown (basically a  Zahn clone, only brunette) . . . Sony Pictures has developed the ‘Minisode Network’ on MySpace, where vintage TV shows like “Charlie’s Angels”, “Facts of Life” and “Starsky & Hutch” are being offered up in 3-to-5-minute capsulized versions that ‘retain the original full story arc’ (shows you how much of a 1-hour program is fluff) . . . Bazillionaire Dan Snyder, an investor in Tom Cruise’s United Artists movie studio & owner of the Washington Redskins among much else, has now forked out $175 million to purchase Dick Clark Productions, which produces the annual “Golden Globe Awards” (Tiny Tom should have an inside track on trophies from now on) . . . NBC-TV’s “Age of Love” bachelor, Australian tennis pro Mark Philippoussis (nicknamed ‘The Poo’ in Aussie media) is said to have several celeb conquests under his belt, including Down Under pop star Delta Goodrem, has-been racquet honey Anna Kournikova, pseudo-actress Tara Reid, and – like any other famous male – Paris Hilton (eww, hopefully they’ve had him disinfected!) . . . Nicole Richie is pleading not guilty on those DUI charges from DECEMBER (when she was nabbed driving the wrong way on a freeway) and is now scheduled to go to trial JULY 11th (she could be facing up to 1 year in the slammer) . . . Donald Trump’s post-“Apprentice” plans include producing the reality series “Pageant Place” for MTV, which will see ‘Miss Universe’ Riyo Mori, ‘Miss USA’ Rachel Smith & ‘Miss Teen USA’ Katie Blair living in the same NYC apartment (look out, cat fight!) . . . And a new stage production entitled “Idol: The Musical” is set to debut off-Broadway THIS SUMMER, based on the comparatively small but phenomenal following of former “A-I” contestant Clay Aiken (blue-haired ‘Claymates’ are likely already booking their tix).

• Aerosmith – They’ve been honored in Germany with induction on the ‘Walk of Stars’ in Munich prior to their recent concert at the Olympiahalle.
• Amy Winehouse – Composer David Arnold, who’s composed the scores for the last 3 ‘James Bond’ films, is lobbying to have her record the theme for the upcoming 22nd ‘007’ movie. It’s just been announced that German-born filmmaker Marc Forster (“Finding Neverland”, “Monster’s Ball”) will direct it.
• Bon Jovi – Guitarist Richie Sambora has revealed his recent stay at the UCLA Medical Center was to detox from alcohol. He says he’s still in therapy but doing fine.
• Celine Dion – Her syrupy song “You and I (Were Meant to Fly)” has been selected the official campaign theme song for Hillary Clinton’s presidential run (purportedly by online voting). The tune was originally written for a 2004 ad campaign in which Dion promoted Air Canada.
• Justin Timberlake – He says he doesn’t like being constrained so he wanders around his house in the nude whenever he gets the chance. Hey, thanks for sharing.
• Lifehouse – TONIGHT they perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Lily Allen – TONIGHT the Brit popster (“LDN”) does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• The Spinners – TONIGHT the ‘70s R&B group (“Could It Be I’m Falling in Love”) plays “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT his 50-plus city “Big Dog Daddy Tour” launches in Birmingham AL, with opening acts Miranda Lambert & Flynnville Train.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Goree Girls” – Jennifer Aniston is set to produce and potentially star in this period musical about singing prisoners. It’s based on the true story of 8 female inmates at Texas’ Goree Prison in the 1940s who put together one of the first all-girl country acts.
• “The Lovely Bones” – Rachel Weisz (“The Constant Gardener”) has beaten out a host of others to land the lead in this bigscreen adaptation of Alice Sebold’s 2002 best-selling novel. She’ll play the mother of a murdered 14-year-old girl who tells the story from beyond the grave. Shooting is scheduled to begin in Pennsylvania & New Zealand in OCTOBER.
• “Puss in Boots” – This upcoming spin-off adventure about the sword-fighting feline voiced by Antonio Banderas in the “Shrek” movie series will delve into the character’s back history, from birth to life as a kitten to the swaggering cat that he becomes. But fans will have to be patient … it’s not due in theaters until 2010.
• “Ripley’s Believe It or Not!” – Director Tim Burton has just walked away from this project that’s been plagued by problems since it was first conceived. However, Jim Carrey is still onboard to play the man who developed the famous “Believe It or Not!” newspaper column which inspired a slew of museums and TV shows. Paramount has now begun the search for a new director.
• “The Sophomore” – Rumer Willis, the #1 daughter of Bruce Willis & Demi Moore, is set to star as a sophomore high school newspaper reporter who teams with the school’s ‘popular girl’, Mischa Barton (ex-“OC”), in this 2008 comedy. Also in the cast … daddy Bruce, plus stepfather Ashton Kutcher is apparently a producer on the project. Geez, will Demi be doing the makeup?

French wine connoisseurs have found a new place to store their cache … on the seabed. After all, when it comes to finding a wine cellar with a good level of humidity, you couldn’t do much better. A recent blindfolded taste-test in Brittany of wines that spent the last year in 9 meters (30 ft) of water found that submerged white wines have a more obvious wood aroma and reds evolve more slowly than their dry-land versions. The underwater wines are stored in slatted wooden crates to allow the sea current to ‘massage the bottles’. (Okay, now we’re just getting pretentious.)
– “The Australian”

Video game company MumboJumbo has just secured the rights to NBC-TV’s “The Office” in order to create an arcade-style game version of the hit comedy. Players will assume various office jobs at the ‘Dunder-Mifflin’ Scranton branch and become involved in a variety of pranks and hijinks as each game unfolds. (This will lead to all kinds of arguments: “I don’t wanna be Dwight Schrute, you be Dwight. I wanna be Jim so I get a shot at Pam!”)
– “Variety”

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 80% of women say that using power tools makes them feel ‘more independent’.
• 75% of guys pick ‘heads’ over ‘tails’ whenever given the choice.
• 56% of kids eat mac & cheese at least twice a month.
• 31% of married men have never sent their wife flowers.
• 16% of women have the same occupation as their mom.
• 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk at any given time.

Researchers estimate that fully half of all deaths of working-age men in Russia are now due to hazardous drinking. That shocking figure is in part due to the fact that many are imbibing dangerous liquids such as aftershave and cleaning products. A new British study has found that the cheapo concoctions can often contain up to 97% alcohol. While much of the make-do moonshine contains few toxins, it’s still deadly because of the extreme alcohol content. (What Russia needs is a good 1-buck beer.)
– “The Lancet”

Career coach Marty Nemko, who’s conducted more than 2,500 counseling sessions with professionals over the last 20 years, says that even though they might look glamorous on TV shows, some occupations have a mystique that far exceeds the reality of the day-to-day grind of doing the job. Among those he singles out as far tougher & less rewarding than commonly thought: Ad Executive, Attorney, Chef, Chiropractor, Nonprofit Organization Manager, Police Officer, Psychologist, Real Estate Agent, Small Business Owner, and Teacher. (And among the jobs that are the lightest touch & most overpaid for the workload … Radio Station Sports Director.)
– “US News & World Report”

• Most Americans now believe a person isn’t an adult until age 26.
– “Psychology Today”
• Of RVers who travel with their pets, 88% do so with dogs, while only 18% bring cats.
– Recreation Vehicle Industry Association

“I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood but never anyone as out-of-control as Lindsay is. I lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing and had to carry her out of parties. Every morning I’d breathe a sigh of relief she was still alive.”
– Lee T Weaver, Lindsay Lohan’s former bodyguard who – surprise surprise! – is writing a tell-all book about his experiences.


1950 [57] Joey Kramer, NYC, rock drummer (Aerosmith-“I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”, “Dream On”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1951 [56] Nils Lofgren, Chicago IL, classic rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band-“Born in the USA”, “Born to Run”)

1964 [43] Doug Savant, Burbank CA, TV actor (‘Tom Scavo’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

1973 [34] Juliette Lewis, LA CA, movie actress (“Catch & Release”, “Natural Born Killers”)/rock singer (Juliette & The Licks-“Purgatory Blues”)/stage actress (“Fool For Love”)

1976 [31] Mike Einziger, LA CA, alt-rock guitarist (Incubus-“Anna-Molly”, “Drive”)

1982 [25] Prince William (William Arthur Philip Louis Windsor), London UK, #1 son of Prince Charles & the late Princess Diana/2nd-in-line to the British throne after his dad

• “Aboriginal Day” in Canada, established in 1996 by Indian & Northern Affairs Canada as a special day to celebrate the unique heritage, cultures and contributions of First Nations, Inuit & Metis people in Canada. It’s part of the “Celebrate Canada Celebrations”, which also include “Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day” (JUNE 24), “Canadian Multiculturalism Day” (JUNE 27) and “Canada Day” (JULY 1).

• “Aimless Wandering Day”. Finally, someone’s taken an interest in my career!

• “Baby Boomers Recognition Day”, a special day to commemorate the accomplishments of ol’ farts everywhere.

• “Cancer the Crab” zodiac sign begins.

• “Midnight Sun Baseball Classic”, the 101st annual in Fairbanks AK which begins at 10:30 pm WITHOUT artificial lights, because these days Alaskans are enjoying 22 hours of direct sunlight daily.

• “Pick Up Some Litter Day”. Great idea, but make sure it’s not the kitty’s!

• “Summer” officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere with the Summer Solstice at 2:06 pm EDT. It’s the date with the longest day and shortest night of the year. The Sun does not set at the North Pole TODAY as there’s 24 hours of sunlight. ‘Solstice’ comes from the Latin words ‘sol’ (sun) and ‘sistit’ (stands).

• “Summer Solstice” in the Northwest Territories, Canada’s land of the Midnight Sun, celebrated variously as “Midnight Madness” in Inuvik, “Raven Mad Daze” in Yellowknife and “Longest Day Celebrations” in Fort Simpson. All will feature music, dance, food, sports … and sunburns.

2003 [04] “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix” (book 5) is released in bookstores and grosses more than the heavily-hyped movie opening of “Hulk”, a feat unprecedented in publishing

1948 [59] 33 1/3 rpm ‘LP Record’ is introduced (something to tell your grandchildren about)

1749 [258] Halifax NS founding day (back when you could swim in the harbor)

1879 [128] 1st ‘Five & Dime’ store opened by Frank Woolworth (forerunner of the ‘99 Cent Store’)

2000 [07] ‘World’s Longest Bench’ is unveiled at a flower show in Japan, measuring 1,832 feet & seating 900 people (the next day, the world’s largest collection of chewing gum wads is found stuck underneath)

[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Fri] “1408”; “Evan Almighty”; and “A Mighty Heart” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Let It Go Day
[Sat] Pink Day
[Sun] St-Jean-Baptiste Day (QC)
[Sun] Gay Pride Day (varies in some cities)
[Mon] Discovery Day (NL)
This Week Is … Carpenter Ant Awareness Week       
This Month Is … Fresh Fruit & Vegetable Month


“Comes with built-in hatchet rack.”
“Wall easily removed to facilitate transport of morbidly obese to hospital.”
“Loose acoustic tiles ideal for discreet camera installation.”
“Realistic-looking smoke detectors.”
“Coffee table doubles as an altar.”
“Kitchen tiles do not absorb urine … easy cleanup!”
“Virtually rat-free.”
– Thanks to Cal Newport

You run down the list rapid-fire while a listener or studio guest rates each item as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …
• Flavored coffees as a morning wake-up.
• Victoria Beckham as a style icon.
• Sequels as movies.
• Double chocolate brownies as a food staple.
• Emo as music.
• Emo as fashion.
• Eggplant as a vegetable.
• Spray-ons as a tanning alternative.
• Tennis as a spectator sport.
• Golf as a spectator sport.
• Summer as a season.

Most summer camps cost money; but this one can help save money for a lifetime. ‘MoneyCamp’ originated in Santa Barbara CA as a non-profit organization devoting to teaching 10-to-16 year-olds the value of saving and the pitfalls of debt. The idea has taken off so well, it’s spreading to numerous other cities.
PHONER: 805.957.1024/800.928.1932 (MoneyCamp Headquarters, Santa Barbara CA)

I wanted to go to the Paranoids Anonymous meeting … but they wouldn’t tell me where it was.

Today’s Question: Charcoal barbecuers are more likely than gas barbecuers to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Prepare their own barbecue sauce.

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

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