Tuesday, June 19, 2007           Edition: #3556
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the 35th annual “AFI Life Achievement Award” is presented to actor Al Pacino by the American Film Institute in Los Angeles (USA Network) in a pre-recorded special that spends an hour fawning all over the little guy . . . Quirky movie/TV director David Lynch (“Mulholland Drive”/”Twin Peaks”) has been hired to create an ad for Italian fashion house Gucci showcasing it’s new women’s scent, cleverly named ‘Gucci’ (get ready for a lot of dark images, dripping blood, and bug-eyes) . . . Britain’s Prince William has reportedly launched a last-minute bid to get the Spice Girls to reunite for his JULY 1st “Concert for Diana” at London’s Wembley Stadium, and if it comes together it’s said they’ll be introduced by Mr Posh Spice himself, David Beckham (Wills, on behalf of the free world we’d like to say – please, don’t do it!) . . . Meantime, just days after debuting her ‘dVb’ denim line in NYC, Victoria Beckham has been dumped by its maker, fashion house Rock & Republic, reportedly because she’s indecisive, inconsistent, and generally absent unless there’s a high-profile photo op (and even then her face is frozen in that snooty-looking pout) . . . Movie actress Ashley Judd has signed on to create a line of budget  women’s wear for Goody’s Family Clothing that features casual tees, denim, and sweaters (the perfect apparel if your husband is competing in the “Indianapolis 500”) . . . English actor Rupert Everett (“Shrek the Third”) says he’s tired of his bachelor status and is set to visit Kuwait in hope of finding a really rich Kuwaiti boyfriend who’ll set him up with homes in London, Paris & Dubai (at least he’s up front about it!) . . . Actor Robert Downey Jr is set to portray legendary comic Peter Sellers, most famous as ‘Inspector Clouseau’ in the “Pink Panther” films, in a stage adaptation of his life scheduled for London’s West End NEXT YEAR (he doesn’t resemble Sellers, but then he didn’t look much like Charlie Chaplin either) . . . And word has it Tom Cruise, who’s at the highest level of ‘clear’ in the Church of Scientology, may be the officiant who performs the ceremony for his friend James Packer, Australia’s wealthiest human (circa $6 billion thanks to publishing & broadcasting), when he weds Aussie model/singer Erica Baxter on the French Riviera at a big bash scheduled to take place TOMORROW (stinking filthy rich people don’t have to wait for the weekend – they’ve got nothing else to do).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – Their back catalogue still isn’t available for download yet, but 66-year-old Ringo Starr has just signed a deal allowing downloads of his solo efforts beginning in AUGUST … just in case you’re dying for a digital copy of “Back Off Bugaloo”.
• Bon Jovi – THIS MORNING they’re on the “Today Show” (NBC). Maybe will find out why Richie Samboro was in rehab. Getting Denise Richards out his system perhaps?
• Enrique Iglesias – TONIGHT he does “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Fall Out Boy – THIS AFTERNOON they guest on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Sugarland – TONIGHT they perform “Everyday America” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno (NBC/A Channel).
• Toby Keith – TODAY the “High Maintenance Woman” singer meets a panel full of them on “The View” (ABC/CTV).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Bridge to Terabithia” ( Disney Family Adventure ): Two new 5th-grade friends who create an imaginary land in order to deal with their real-world problems end up discovering a bonafide magical kingdom in the forest, where they are anointed king and queen. No-name cast. Based on the popular Katherine Paterson children’s novel. Filmed in New Zealand.
• “Miss Potter (Bio-Drama ): Renee Zellweger (“Bridget Jones’s Diary”) once again channels her inner Brit, this time playing Beatrix Potter, the early 20th century children’s author famous for “The Tale of Peter Rabbit” and the series of books that followed. She also went on to become a wealthy landowner and prize-winning farmer. Co-stars Ewan McGregor. Shot entirely in England.
• “Ocean’s Deadliest” ( Nature Documentary ): In late “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin’s final project, he’s joined by adventurer Philippe Cousteau (grandson of the famous oceanographer Jacques Cousteau) to explore the Great Barrier Reef and the Southern Ocean off Australia.
• “Reno 911!: Miami” ( Comedy ): In this bigscreen version of the TV series (Comedy Central), the ‘Washoe County Sheriff’s Department‘ from Reno NV is summoned to Miami Beach FL after a terrorist plot disrupts the national police convention. Stars Cedric Yarbrough, Niecy Nash, Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon, Carlos Alazraqui & Wendi McLendon-Covey, all from the TV cast.
• Also released TODAY: “The Die Hard Collection”, featuring the first 3 movies in the Bruce Willis series (and setting up the theatrical release of “Live Free or Die Hard” on JUNE 27th); and the film compilation, “Lucille Ball Collection”.

KITTY CRISES:
Just like their human owners, cats can suffer from stress. Experts say the biggest source of feline anxiety is rivalry with another kitty. Other stressors include moving to a different home and dealing with a new human family member. (Not to mention ‘no tuna left in the pantry’.)
– MSNBC

FLOATING HOTEL:
The decommissioned Cunard ocean liner “Queen Elizabeth 2” is set to begin its new function as a luxury floating hotel. The 70,000-ton vessel, launched by Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II in 1967, is being sold to Dubai World for circa $100 million. The company already owns the ‘Palm Jumeirah’, the world’s largest man-made island that’s shaped like a palm tree, where the cruise liner will be permanently docked. The original interior decor and fittings of the iconic ship will then be restored before it opens for business as an upmarket hotel. (The best thing about a docked liner … no motion from the ocean!)
– Luxury Travel Blog

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• If you’re tired of always freezing – or feeling too warm – in your workplace, there’s a new desktop heating & cooling device soon hitting the market. Called the ‘C2′, it costs about $300 and can raise or lower the temperature within 6 inches by about 6 degrees. (So you what … strap it to your face?)
• Eastman Kodak has developed a new color-filter technology that doubles a digital camera’s sensitivity to light, enabling enhanced realism and better pictures in poor lighting conditions. The new technology is expected to be in place by 2008. (That’s great, but how ‘bout doing something to avoid photos where people’s heads are cut off?)

COMPUTER COMPOSITIONS:
Computer scientist Stephen Thaler of Maryland Heights, Missouri is set to release an album of music entitled “Song of the Neurons”, created by computers with artificial intelligence. The so-called ‘Creativity Machines’ were allowed to form random sounds, with Thaler providing either smiles or frowns on webcam as cues to whether or not the music was pleasing to the human ear. The advanced machines then used the critiques to create their own melodies, which were blended by a human musician into 14 original songs. (They use the same process on Mariah Carey in the studio.)
– “St Louis Post-Dispatch”

INSOMNIA IS TERMINAL:
Chronic sleep deprivation can do more than leave you short-tempered. It can also stress your heart and raise your risk of cardiovascular disease and death, according to a new study by the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. This latest research has found that a sleep deficit built up over just 5 nights can significantly stress the heart. (So far, the morning crew is defying the odds … but some of us may be missing tomorrow.)
– AFP

WEIRDEST CELL PHONES:
Actual phones that are – or soon will be – on the market …
• Mosquito Repellant Phone – This Pantech cellphone features stereo speakers, an MP3 player, and can also be set to emit ultrasonic tones that purportedly ward off skitters.
• Intruder Phone – It measures just 2.5-inches in diameter & a third-of-an-inch thick. If small is for some odd reason your measure of coolness, this would be it! Also boasts a circular keypad.
• Matchbox Cell Phone – Fits snugly in your pocket when not in use, then slides open to reveal a keypad at the push of a button. The slide-out design expands it too a more practical size.
• Boombox Cell Phone – The Thunder Super Radio HiFi looks like a normal phone on one side but flip it over and there’s a massive speaker with an old school ghetto blaster grille.
• Cigarette Phone – In addition to being a functional handset, it holds a half-pack of smokes. The optional ‘luxurious VIP kit’ includes a lighter and package of Chonghwa cigarettes. (So you can get calls AND get cancer!)
– TechEBlog.com

NO PAIN VACCINATION:
The dream of cheap, easy-to-store, needle-free vaccines is closer to reality after Japanese researchers at the University of Tokyo have created a strain of rice that protects against cholera. Edible rice vaccines may also be developed to protect against other diseases such as HIV-AIDS and influenza. (The only problem is, a half-hour afterward you want to get vaccinated again.)
– “The Australian”

YOU COULDN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP:
• They’re hopping mad in Milan, Italy! Officials at Linate Airport are considering a cull after airport operations had to be suspended due to a population explosion of … rabbits. They’ve not only invaded the airport’s runways but are confusing ground radar and other electronic equipment. The cause of the mushrooming hare population is so far unknown. (Uh people, they’re breeding like … well, rabbits!)
• Is this the all-time greatest optimist? In India, a 73-year-old farmer who’s vowed not to marry before passing his high school exams has failed to do so …. for the 38th time! Shiv Charan Yadav has been taking the exams, normally given to 15-year-olds, since 1969. This year, he failed everything except Sanskrit. Yadav, who lives alone in Kohari village, says that once he passes, he’ll wed a girl who’s under 30. (Yeah, there’s nothing hotter than a septuagenarian guy who’s spent 4 decades in high school.)
• Talk about pimping your daughter! A South Korean millionaire is seeking someone to marry his daughter, who is flatteringly described as ‘too old and too short’. The prospective husband for the 38-year-old, US-educated professional must be ‘tidy, healthy and smart’. The matchmaking agency tasked with the search has received 200 applications in just 4 days. (Thanks mainly to daddy’s $100-million fortune we bet.)

DID YOU KNOW?
• The number of self-employed Canadians has increased by 5.9% in the past year. That means another 148,300 of us are working in our bathrobes this morning compared to a year ago.
– “Toronto Star”
• The cost of the average US wedding has nearly doubled since 1990 … to $28,000. The typical bride spends over $1,000 on a wedding gown.
– Condé Nast Bridal Group
• Men tend to be good at manual tasks, except when it comes to unhooking a bra. One study has found that it takes an average of 27 seconds before a guy actually gets one unfastened. And that’s using both hands!
– “Cosmopolitan”
• According to a recent survey in China, the Chinese on average do not exchange their first kiss until the age of 23.
– “Sunday Times”

BS CHRONOMETER 06.19.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [57] Ann Wilson, San Diego CA, classic rock singer (Heart-“What About Love”, “Barracuda”)

1954 [53] Kathleen Turner, Springfield MO, movie actress (“Romancing the Stone”, “Body Heat”)/stage actress (“The Graduate”)

1962 [45] Paula Abdul, Van Nuys CA, incoherent TV personality (“American Idol” judge since 2002)/has-been pop singer (1988 Grammy Award-“Opposites Attract”)/sometime choreographer

1984 [23] Paul Dano, Wilton CT, movie actor (“Little Miss Sunshine”, “Fast Food Nation”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Juneteenth”, marking the day in 1865 that slaves in several Southern states heard they had been emancipated. It’s a state holiday in Texas and observed in at least 3 other states.

• “Martini Day”. Recipe for a very dry martini: First, take 1 bottle of gin.

• “World Sauntering Day”, a day to ‘revive the art of Victorian sauntering, and discourage jogging, lollygagging, sashaying, fast walking and trotting’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1978 [29] Jim Davis’ fat cat comic strip “Garfield” debuts in newspapers (what can we say but ‘big fat hairy deal’?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1981 [26] 13-year-old singing phenom Celine Dion makes her TV debut in Québec (back when future husband René was 72)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917 [90] By order of King George V, the British royal family dispenses with German titles and surnames and takes on the inoffensive name ‘Windsor’

1983 [24] Opening of Canada’s 1st ‘Domed Stadium’, Vancouver’s ‘BC Place’

1954 [53] WB cartoon character ‘Tasmanian Devil’ (aka ‘Taz’), who sounds like a buzzsaw when he goes into a whirlwind, debuts in “Devil May Hare” starring Bugs Bunny

1941 [66] Breakfast cereal ‘Cheerios’ are 1st sold, under the name ‘Cheerie Oats’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1981 [26] World’s ‘Largest Hamburger’ weighs in at 3,020 lbs (Towner ND)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] World Refugee Day
[Thurs] Summer begins (2:06 pm EDT)
[Thurs] Canadian Aboriginal Day
[Thurs] Baby Boomers Recognition Day
[Thurs] Vegan World Day
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Fri] “Evan Almighty”; “1408”; and “A Mighty Heart” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Pink Day
This Week Is … Appreciate Your Plumbing, Heating & Cooling Professionals Week
This Month Is … Rebuild Your Life Month

BULL’S BITS

WORST WEDDING SONGS:
Here’s a good argument starter: What would be the absolute worst song to play at a wedding? A few ideas, in no particular order …
• “Highway To Hell” … AC/DC
• “Before He Cheats” … Carrie Underwood
• “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” … Tina Turner
• “Another One Bites the Dust” … Queen
• “Because I Got High” … Afroman
• “High Maintenance Woman” … Toby Keith
• “I Hate Everything About You” … Three Days Grace
• “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” … Rolling Stones
• “The Final Countdown” … Europe
• “Clothes Off” .. Gym Class Heroes

BS INTERVIEW:
Here’s a new twist on a dog kennel. About a year ago, 27-year-old Mic Foster opened the ‘Pet Athletic Club’ in Cincinnati, a place for pooches to romp, play & undergo training during the day while their owners are at work. It’s sort of a daycare for dogs that keeps ‘em busy instead of lying around at home alone. Guess what? Business is booming!
PHONER: 513.621.1300 (Pet Athletic Club, Cincinnati OH)

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could choose only 3 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
When I die, I’m going to leave my body to science fiction.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women in Columbia, Brazil and Japan do THIS at twice the average rate of the rest of the world.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Put their makeup on in the car.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The odds are a million to one against you being one in a million.

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