Monday, June 4, 2007        Edition: #3545
You Really Know Your Sheet!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• While shooting “Knocked Up”, quirky moviemaker Judd Apatow also shot a mockumentary called “Search For Seth” which features him auditioning actors for the lead role in his comedy, and ‘firing’ the likes of Orlando Bloom & James Franco. The writer/director plans to release the feature as an added bonus to the DVD release of “Knocked Up” THIS CHRISTMAS.
– Moviehole.net
• Beyoncé is said to finally be getting married to her long-time fiancé Jay-Z. Word has it he popped the question and she said ‘yes’ during their recent vacation in Cannes on the French Riviera. Buzz has it they’re set for a big ceremony in Hawaii sometime THIS AUTUMN.
– “News of the World”
• Madonna has just begun filming her feature film directorial debut, “Filth & Wisdom”. Well, sort of. A fan who asked her whereabouts on the Soho set in London was told, “She didn’t feel the need to be out with the crew at this point.” Meantime, the new movie her hubby Guy Ritchie is developing is said to be about gangsters again (see “Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels”, “Snatch”) but this time it’s … Russian gangsters.
– PopBitch.com
• TV actress Dania Ramirez, who played ‘AJ’s fiancée on “The Sopranos”, has been added as a regular to the upcoming 2nd season of “Heroes” (NBC/Global), playing a new hero named ‘Maya’. Her powers are being kept under wraps. Hopefully it’s something more impressive than ‘ability to parallel park’.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• Carrie Underwood’s football-star boyfriend is calling a timeout. The duo have been tight for several months and celebrated her 24th and his 27th birthdays together. But now the Dallas Cowboys QB has reportedly told her he wants to bench the relationship during the upcoming NFL season. We won’t be surprised if commitment-craving Carrie is caught ‘Blocking Below the Waist’.
– “National Enquirer”
• Wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson & wife Dany Garcia Johnson are separating after 17 years. In a joint statement they’ve announced they intend to ‘spend the rest of their lives together’ as best friends and business partners. Hmm, think that’s gonna work?
– “People Magazine”
• That controversial Dutch TV reality show called “The Big Donor Show” that allowed 3 critically ill patients to lobby for a kidney transplant from a terminally ill woman turns out to have been a hoax … sort of. The dying donor was actually just an actress. Producers say the program was a publicity stunt to raise awareness of organ shortages. Unfortunately, the kidney patients looking for a new organ were genuine.
– “The Guardian”
• Michael Jackson now owns the publishing rights to rapper Eminem’s back catalogue by purchasing Famous Music from Viacom for an undisclosed amount. Jackson is now owner of “The Real Slim Shady” and “Without Me”, and also owns the rights to songs by Shakira, Beck and Bjork under the transaction. That’s of course in addition to his share of The Beatles’ back catalogue. And he got the money for this from …?
– “Contact Music”
• MTV’s “Unplugged” series is being revived THIS SUMMER, with Bon Jovi, Mary J Blige and The Police among the acts scheduled to turn off the juice and play acoustically. The Police will reportedly record their show in Miami FL in JULY during a break in their current tour.
– “Contact Music”
• Prison-bound socialite Paris Hilton has been dropped by her record label after lackluster sales of her debut pop album “Paris”. Warner Bros reportedly dropped a bundle promoting the album and its 2 single releases, “Stars Are Blind” and “Nothing in This World”. A record rep explains, “We are not expecting any new Paris Hilton material in the foreseeable future.” Well … certainly not for the next 23 days anyway.
– zeenews.com

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bright Eyes – TONIGHT the indie rockers from Omaha NE (“Cassadaga”) perform on “Late Night With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Darryl Worley – The “Livin’ In The Here & Now” country singer is also ‘living in the altogether’, posing au naturel for the JULY issue of “Playgirl” magazine.
• Jane’s Addiction – Perry Farrell says the band fell apart as a direct result of guitarist Dave Navarro becoming involved in the reality TV talent contest “Rock Star”. Bitter bitter.
• Kings Of Leon – TONIGHT the Tennessee rockers (“Fans”) are guests on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Lucinda Williams – TONIGHT the folk-country-rock singer/songwriter (“West”) performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Macy Gray – TONIGHT the “Shoo Be Doo” singer is on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Ne-Yo – THIS MORNING he’s a guest on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Paul McCartney – After his recent peace pact with soon-to-be-ex-wife Heather Mills, he’s said to be planning a world tour. The new settlement would mean his 3-year-old daughter Bea could join him on some of his travels which will reportedly start NEXT MAY, by which the divorce will be finalized.
• Pink – THIS AFTERNOON she’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Silversun Pickups – TONIGHT the “Lazy Eye” band does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• “Creature Comforts” debuts (CBS/CH), a US version of a stop-motion animated series that originated in England. The odd coupling places excerpts culled from real-person interviews and places them in the mouths of a wide variety of animated animals.
• “Hell’s Kitchen 3” premieres (FOX) as foul-mouthed British chef Gordon Ramsay lights a fire under the butts of culinary competitors in the 3rd season of the reality competition series.

GOOD NEWS FOR RADIO SALES:
Movie studios are balking at the high cost of TV ads due to the increase in DVR usage to record programs for later playback. That means viewers can either skip the film ads entirely or end up seeing them after the movie has already opened. For the studios, the commercial message is time sensitive and needs to be day-specific. Movie ads that air THURSDAY nights on big network programs are often designed to get people to attend a movie opening the next day, and so become worthless if the programs are recorded and viewed even 48 hours later. (Another plus radio has to offer … the ‘now factor’.)
– “Advertising Age”

REASON TO LEGALLY CHANGE YOUR NAME?
if your name is Andrew Stanley Smith, take note: A recent study conducted at the University of San Diego which examined 27 years’ worth of California death certificates has found that people with ‘good’ monograms such as GOD, ACE, or WOW, live an average of 7 years longer than people whose monograms spell out unpleasant words such as PIG, RAT, DUD, or ILL. (Dissenters claim this research is just a load of Ben Sullivan.)
– “San Mateo Times”

BEGINNING OF THE WEEK BLUES:
Sleep researchers have identified what may be the cause of the ‘Monday Morning Blues’. Dr Vaughan McCall, director of the sleep center at Wake Forest University in North Carolina, says sleeping in on Saturday and/or Sunday morning makes it hard to fall asleep on Sunday night before work on Monday morning. This problem is compounded by a tendency to stay up later on Friday, Saturday and perhaps Sunday night, resulting in sufficient sleep deprivation to make Monday morning a problem. (Uh doc, you moron, it’s got more to do with GOING TO WORK!)
– “Hartford Courant”

FOR THE RECORD:
Zhang Shuqing of Pixian, China recently turned 100. That’s no record but this may be: For the past 80 years of his life he has smoked every day and consumed liquor after every meal – a total of more than 1 ton of tobacco and 15 tons of liquor! (Sounds like [co-host’s] party on the weekend.)
– “China Daily”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Children conceived during the months of JUNE through AUGUST typically score lower on IQ tests than those born in other months

AND WE QUOTE:
• Life is full of risks anyway, why not take them?”
– Actress Lindsay Lohan. Indeed, that’s what got you where you are today, hon’.
• “We’re having the best time, it’s so amazing. He’s a great father and so it came as no shock that when we had Suri he was amazing with the baby.”
– Actress Katie Holmes, who also tells TONIGHT’s edition of “Entertainment Tonight” she & her master, Tom Cruise, would like to have more kids.

BS CHRONOMETER 06.04.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1971 [36] Noah Wyle, Hollywood CA, TV actor (‘Dr John Carter’ on “ER” 1994-2006)

1974 [33] Stefan Lessard, Anaheim CA, alt-rock bassist (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “Crash Into Me”)

1975 [31] Angelina Jolie, LA CA, movie actress (“A Mighty Heart”, “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”)/2000 Academy Award (“Girl, Interrupted”)/daughter of Academy Award-winning actor Jon Voight/actor Brad Pitt’s partner/mother to Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh & Pax/Mrs Billy Bob Thornton (2000-03)

1980 [27] JoJo Garza , San Angelo TX, Texican rock bassist (Los Lonely Boys-“My Way”, “Heaven”)/brother of band members Henry & Ringo Garza

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Cheese Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of the creation of the first Roquefort cheese, made from ewes’ milk and ripened in a cave near Roquefort, France in the year 1070. It’s the perfect excuse to indulge yourself with a slice of your favorite cheese. Some of the following are real types of cheese; some are total fakes. Which is which?
– Stinking Bishop (England)
– Munster (France)
– Bra (Italy)
– Fresh Boxer Short (FAKE)
– Quark (Germany)
– Brin d’Amour (France)
– Drooling Skunk (FAKE)
– Maytag Blue (USA)
– Australian Blue Vein (Australia)
– Gnarly Bits (FAKE)
– Seriously Strong Cheddar (Scotland)
– Plantar’s Wart (FAKE)
– Oka (Canada)
– Xanadu (Greece)
– Used Hankie (FAKE)
– Queso Jalapeno (Mexico)
– Texas Goat Cheese (USA)

• “Old Maid’s Day”, a truly outdated observance initiated back in 1948 for unmarried women over age 35. Nowadays 35 is when a woman begins THINKING about having kids (and when a man begins thinking about DATING them).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [03] “Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban” opens in movie theaters (eventually grosses $790 million worldwide)  FACTOID: Author JK Rowling has okayed the creation of a Florida theme park based on the ‘Potter’ books, which is slated to open in 2009.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1800 [207] 1st US President to occupy White House moves in (John Adams)

1838 [169] 1st recorded ‘Baseball Game’ (by some accounts) is played in Beachville ON (contrary to that Abner Doubleday fable many buy into)

1937 [70] 1st ‘Shopping Cart’, invented by Oklahoma’s Sylvian Goldman (next day, 27 of them are found abandoned behind his apartment building)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1988 [19] World record for ‘Hackey-Sack’ (foot bag) set at 48,825 consecutive kicks

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Canadian Idol season premiere (CTV)
[Tues] 34th Daytime Emmy Awards (CBS)
[Tues] Personal Computer Day
[Tues] UN World Environment Day
[Tues] Paris Hilton’s deadline to enter prison
[Wed] Tim McGraw-Faith Hill Soul2Soul Tour 2007 begins (Omaha NE)
[Wed] Couple Appreciation Day
[Thurs-June 10] 36th CMA Music Festival
[Thurs] 2007  Songwriters Hall of Fame Gala (NYC)
[Thurs] 35th AFI Life Achievement Award (Los Angeles)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Business Etiquette Week / Headache Awareness Week / International Clothesline Week / Sun Safety Week / Telemarketing Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS

WORLD’S WEIRDEST DISEASES:
• Alice in Wonderland Syndrome … Causes perceptions of time, space and size to become completely skewed. For example, the family dog may appear the size of a mouse.
• Blaschko’s Lines … A skin disorder that causes strange stripes all over the body.
• Blue Skin Disorder … An inherited disorder that causes the skin to be blue, plum, indigo or almost purple. Otherwise, sufferers have no other symptoms.
• Elephantiasis … Grossly enlarged or swollen arms and legs caused by parasitic worms.
• Jumping Frenchman Disorder … Sufferers are extremely startled by an unexpected noise or sight, flailing their arms, crying out and repeating words. First identified in Maine lumberjacks of French-Canadian origin.
• Pica … The compulsive urge to eat non-food items such as dirt, paper, glue, and clay.
• Vampire Disease … Exposure to the Sun immediately causes painful blisters on the skin.
• Walking Corpse Syndrome …. You become convinced you’ve died and can smell your own flesh rotting and feel worms crawling through your skin.
• Werewolf Syndrome … The entire body becomes covered by dark hairy patches.
• Progeria … A genetic defect that causes children to age prematurely and die by the age of 13.
– oddee.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who eats better … women or men? (According to “Men’s Health”, women eat healthier. (Well a guy can’t watch a game in a sports bar while eating carrots and celery sticks, can he?)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Thanks to a bunch of atheists who run “Post-Rapture Post” (‘The Postal Service of the Saved’), you sanctimonious types can have your final words hand-delivered to your sinner friends who have to suffer through the Apocalypse while you’ve moved on to hang out in heaven.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/yum7br

BS RANDOM JOKE:
This morning on the way to work I accidentally rear-ended a car at a stoplight. The driver got out … and he was a dwarf. He said, “I’m not happy.” I replied, “Well, which one are you then?”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A new study shows that kids do better in math & science if they also do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sports.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nice people don’t finish nice.

BS FRESH MEAT:
A big moo-out to Greg, Doc & Flex @ 97.9 The X [WXEF] Effingham IL, back for another year of “BS” service (that’s year #13, thank-you very much!); we also welcome back Russell Doucette @ The Eagle 106.9 [KDGL] Palm Springs CA; and a salute to this week’s samplers that include Victoria Michaels @ 91.9 WFPK Louisville KY; Yosef Dov @ Olam Radio.com; Greg Lawson @ 88.1 KBCU North Newton KS; Brian Ebbesen @ Skala FM, Kolding, Denmark; and James Bryant @ World Internet Radio Network, Cedar Rapids IA. Remember BSers, we bonus you a FREE MONTH for each and every new subscriber you refer.


Printer Friendly Version