Friday, June 23, 2006        Edition: #3312
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

TODAY’s “Billboard” magazine ‘Hot 100′ chart is topped by “American Idol” winner Taylor Hicks’ “Do I Make You Proud” (190,000 singles/38,000 downloads in its first week) . . . Meantime, runner-up Katharine McPhee reveals in TODAY’s edition of “People” magazine that she’s a recovering bulimic who was throwing up 7 times a day when she auditioned for “American Idol 5″, and only got better after attending a 3-month program at the Los Angeles Eating Disorder Center . . . Latest buzz says SUNDAY evening is when fellow Aussies Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban will wed at a Catholic church in the Sydney suburb of Manly, where a large marquee has recently been erected over the entrance . . . 83-year-old multi-bazillionaire Hollywood producer Aaron Spelling (“Beverly Hills 90210″, “Charlie’s Angels”) is said to be recovering at his mammoth Holmby Hills CA estate after suffering a stroke on the weekend – while daughter Tori was attending the “MuchMusic Video Awards” (you can bet her new hubby, Canadian actor Dean McDermott, is pinching himself over his timing) . . . Colorado Avalanche goaltender José Theodore is the subject of a 3-page spread in “Le Journal de Montréal” for spending time with Paris Hilton at the “MuchMusic Video Awards” and later – much later (they have a lot in common except José allows less rubber to pass his crease) . . . Pro wrestler-turned-pseudo-actor Hulk Hogan is down-scaling, putting his Tampa FL mansion on the market ($25 million), along with his LA home ($5.9 million) in order to move into a modest, new, bay-front estate in Miami Beach ($12 million) . . . Brit coke-bloke Pete Doherty has signed a $270,000-book deal with a UK publisher for memoirs chronicling his music ‘career’, battle with drugs and, of course, his relationship with model Kate Moss (the advance money will be up in smoke by the time they figure out he’s too fried to write anything) . . . Maybe the romance between actor David Spade & jilted actress Heather Locklear isn’t over after all – friends claim he’s ready to pop the question THIS SUMMER (why wait for a minor detail like a divorce?) . . . And close to 500,000 people have now downloaded news anchor Connie Chung’s embarrassing off-key version of “Thanks for the Memory” which she performed LAST WEEKEND on the final edition of MSNBC’s “Weekends with Maury & Connie” – more than twice as people than ever watched the show (this is celebrity in the new wired world).

• Aerosmith – Seems Steven Tyler’s fully recovered from throat surgery as the band’s announced a tour with Motley Crue beginning SEPTEMBER 14th in Holmdel NJ.
• Bruce Springsteen – TONIGHT ‘The Boss’ does “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• DMX – He’s been caught by cops in Scottsdale AZ with a concealed handgun, his 3rd run-in with the law in just 3 weeks.
• Jamie Foxx – He’s being sued by one Michael A Johnson, who claims the song “Heaven” off the “Unpredictable” album is a rip-off of a tune called “One of God’s Angels is AWOL”. Johnson’s whopping $75-million lawsuit is handwritten. Likely on a beer coaster.
• Jay-Z – For a guy who continues to insist he’s retired, Beyoncé’s boyfriend sure acts otherwise. SUNDAY at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall he’ll perform his album “Reasonable Doubt” in its entirety, in honor of its 10th anniversary.
• Jessica Simpson – TODAY movie director Brett Ratner (“X-Men: The Last Stand”) is set to shoot her new video, “Public Affair”, reportedly featuring her & “Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria roller-skating.
• Lynyrd Skynyrd – SUNDAY they kick off the co-headlining “Double Trouble“ tour with 3 Doors Down in Cincinnati OH.
• Nelly Furtado – TOMORROW she’s the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by actor Kevin Spacey.
• Phil Collins – TODAY the classic rocker guests on “The View” (ABC/CTV) where the female panel will likely grill him about his new girlfriend, WCBS-TV NYC news reporter Dana Tyler. She’s likely the reason he dumped his 3rd wife, Orianne, in MARCH.
• Toby Keith – He’s just completed his 4th USO tour, a 3-week itinerary that took him to Germany, Africa, and Iraq, where he played a total of 12 shows, 1 of them in a soccer stadium.

• “Click” ( PG-13 Fantasy Comedy ): Adam Sandler plays a workaholic architect who comes upon a ‘universal remote’ that allows him to pause, fast-forward and rewind his life. But complications arise when the remote starts acting on its own. The eclectic cast includes Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, and – no! – David Hasselhoff.
• “Waist Deep” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Former MTV VJ Tyrese Gibson stars as an ex-con who risks his life and freedom after his son is kidnaped in a carjacking. Co-stars Meagan Good, Larenz Tate (“Crash”, “Ray”), and rapper The Game (Jayceon Taylor) making his bigscreen debut in the role of – ‘Meat’.

A new sub-freezing beer has been launched that is served at 27.5 F (-2.5 C), a temperature at which a layer of slushy ice crystals floats just below the foamy head. ‘Coors Sub Zero’ took 8 years to develop and is being touted as the coldest draft beer in the world. To serve it, a glass is placed on a turntable and a jet of cold water is sprayed onto the outside of the glass for 10 seconds. After pouring, the bubbles in the beer quickly turn into ice crystals. Now your liver can be both pickled AND frozen! (Do you pee icicles?)
– “GQ”

An Earth-shaking new ranking of celeb bods by celeb magazine readers …
• Best Bikini Body … Jessica Alba
• Hottest Petite … Reese Witherspoon
• Most Toned Body … Kate Beckinsale
• Best Body Overall … Jessica Simpson
– “InStyle” magazine

There’s been a 35% increase in pregnancy rates among women undergoing treatment at an  Israeli fertility clinic since they’ve been treated by – a clown. Professional clown Shlomi Algussi has been brought in for bedside performances of jokes & magic tricks. Dr Shevach Friedler, who came up with the idea, says fertility patients are often very stressed, so laughter may help affect the immune system. A study of the effect of ‘medical clowning’ was recently presented at the annual meeting of the European Society of Human Fertilization & Embryology. (By Patch Adams, OB-GYN.)
– Sky News

SUNDAY at the “World Cup”, England faces Ecuador, a game that should make for interesting viewing because the tournament’s shortest player will be facing one of the tallest. Ecuador’s 5-ft, 3-in midfielder Christian Lara will be up against England’s 6-ft, 7-in Peter Crouch. (He’ll likely be yellow-carded for ankle-biting.)

India withdrew from the 1950 “World Cup” because the sport’s governing body, FIFA, wouldn’t let the team play barefoot.

Skyrocketing gasoline prices have led to scores of bogus products being marketed that claim to improve gas mileage. There all kinds of powders, liquid additives and mechanical devices being offered. Among the most ridiculous: magnets that attach to the fuel lines to purportedly ‘realign’ fuel molecules; ‘vortex generators’ that are supposed to create mini-tornados inside your engine’s combustion chamber; and the ‘top-secret gas pill’. (Best secret to boost your mileage – get rid of your gas-guzzling, money-eating, environment-killing, road-hogging SUV!)
– “Washington Post”

Americans waste approximately 27 million gallons of gasoline each day simply idling in traffic – enough to fill 134 super tankers. At $3 a gallon, that also equates to $800-million a day wasted due to inefficient energy use. (Hire a tow truck – it’s cheaper.)
– “The Futurist”

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … men who hug & kiss their wives before leaving for work every morning have fewer car accidents, earn up to 30% more, and live an average 5 years longer than those who don’t. (That’s cause so many guys have been killed for forgetting.)
• Scientists say … parents actually enjoy vacations more when they travel with their kids than when they leave them at home. (Because it’s always great fun seeing who can yell out license plate locations loudest and longest in the back seat.)
• Scientists say … it’s a myth that the happiest days of people’s lives occur when they’re young, even though most people, both young and old, think that’s so. (You’re having a far better time in your twilight years … you just don’t remember.)

Highlights of a new study of teen behavior online by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children …
• 71% of teens have received messages online from someone they don’t know.
• 61% of teens 13-to-17 have a personal profile posted on a networking site such as MySpace.
• 45% of teens have been asked for personal info online by someone they don’t know.
• 30% of teens surveyed say they’re considering meeting face-to-face someone they have met only on the Internet (14% already have).
• 20% of teens think it’s safe to share personal info on a public blog or networking site.
And this may be the scariest stat of all – nearly half of teens 16-to-17 say their parents know ‘very little’ or ‘nothing’ about what they do online.
– Cox Communications


1956 [50] Randy Jackson, Baton Rouge LA, TV personality (“American Idol” judge since 2002)/former music industry exec (A&R VP-Columbia, MCA)/former rock bassist (Journey)/cousin of actor Samuel L Jackson

1957 [49] Frances McDormand, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Almost Famous”, Oscar-“Fargo”)/married to filmmaker Joel Coen (“O Brother, Where Art Thou?”) since 1984

1972 [34] Selma Blair, Southfield MI, movie actress (“The Fog”, “Legally Blonde”)

1977 [29] Jason Mraz, Mechanicsville VA, pop/folk singer (“Mr A-Z”,  “Wordplay”)

Classic rocker Mick Fleetwood (Fleetwood Mac) is 64; Québec Premier Jean Charest is 48; Classic rock bassist Curt Smith (Tears for Fears) is 45; TV actress Sherry Stringfield (“ER”) is 39.

Oldies singer Carly Simon (“You’re So Vain”) is 61; Pop singer George Michael (“Faith”) is 43; Rock bassist Mike Kroeger (Nickelback) is 34; TV actress Linda Cardellini (“ER”) is 31.

• “Canadian North Midnight Classic”, the 59th annual all-night golf tourney in Yellowknife NT celebrating the Summer Solstice.
• “Let It Go Day”, either something to do with releasing pent-up emotions or getting rid of your kid’s pet garter snake.
• “Marble Weekend”, celebrating the grand old game of marbles.
• “Midsummer Eve” in Northern Europe, celebrating summer with maypoles, music, dancing and bonfires. In Sweden and Finland it’s considered one of the year’s greatest festivals, comparable to Christmas and New Year’s Eve. The tradition goes back to ancient times.
• “Take Your Dog to Work Day”, created by Pet Sitters International as a way to ‘lick’ workday blahs.

• “Celebration of the Senses”, when you’re encouraged to treat yourself to stimulation of each of your 5 senses. A few simple experiments involving each of the senses …
• “Gay Pride Day”, a great excuse for a parade in many cities.
• “St-Jean-Baptiste Day”, the “Fête Nationale” holiday in the province of Québec and in French Canadian communities across the country. Besides Québec, St John the Baptist is the patron saint of auto routes, candlemakers, health spas, road workers, and wool workers. And he’s the namesake of St John Ambulance, active in Canada for more than 118 years.

• “Grand Prix du Canada”, the only Formula 1 race in the country, zooms around the Circuit Gilles-Villeneuve in Montréal.
• “LEON Day”. ‘LEON’ is ‘NOEL’ spelled backwards. It means 6 months exactly until Christmas.
• “Log Cabin Day”, the 20th annual honoring the structure that has become the ‘American Folk Dwelling’, a symbol of both self-reliance and practicality. Thanks to the Michigan-based Log Cabin Society, the public is invited to visit historic, authentic, unique and picturesque cabins on the last SUNDAY of JUNE.

1987 [19] Madonna becomes the first celebrity cover girl on “Cosmopolitan” magazine since Elizabeth Taylor in 1969

1974 [32] 1st ‘Extraterrestrial Message’ sent from Earth into space (they should have included an RSVP)

1982 [24] World’s ‘Heaviest Domestic Cat’, Himmy, weighed in Australia at 20.7 kg or 45 lb (whoa, imagine scooping that litter box!)

1999 [07] Wayne Gretzky (who retired April 18, 1999) becomes the 10th player to have the 3-year waiting period waived by the Hockey Hall of Fame by reason of ‘outstanding pre-eminence and skill’

[Mon] Discovery Day (NL)
[Tues] 2006 BET Awards
[Tues] HIV Testing Day
[Tues] Decide to be Married Day
[Wed] Paul Bunyan Day
[Wed] Columnists Day
[Wed] Handshake Day
[Wed] “Superman Returns” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … Canadian Hire a Student Week
This Month Is … Effective Communications Month


• A year’s supply of bug spray for those long back-country camping trips you plan on taking with her THIS SUMMER.
• A framed photo of your mother.
• A framed photocopy of your butt.
• A gift certificate for liposuction.
• Lingerie that’s 5 sizes too large.
• A 3-pack of granny underwear.
• A vacuum cleaner.
• A ceiling mirror.
• A 1-year VIP pass to the Buff Ballet Club.

The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Rihanna – “SOS”
4. Nelly Furtado – “Promiscuous”
3. Rihanna – “Unfaithful”
2. Rick Ross – “Hustlin”
1. Field Mob – “So What”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

• Nice to see they’ve made up … they’re staying together for the sake of the cats.
• … just another example of how roosters crow, and hens deliver.

Today’s Question: Almost half of us indulge in this socially unacceptable behavior at parties.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Double dipping.

Laughter: The shortest distance between 2 people.

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