Wednesday, June 21, 2006        Edition: #3310
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

TODAY in Times Square NYC, Virgin Records chairman Richard Branson, movie director Matt Eggers & professional loser Kevin Federline will be among the first to sign a “Save the Penny” petition designed to convince Washington DC legislators not to eliminate the seemingly useless coin (the movement suggest all pennies be donated to charity – not a bad idea!) . . . TONIGHT 74-year-old Regis Philbin hosts the debut of the new Simon Cowell-produced series “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CTV), in which all kinds of performers are judged by a ‘celebrity’ panel that includes singer/actress Brandy, has-been actor David Hasselhoff, and British media personality Piers Morgan . . . TONIGHT “Big Brother 7: All-Stars” kicks off its summer run (CBS/CH), with host Julie Chen revealing viewers’ choices from 20 previous housemates who’ll compete for a $500,000 prize . . . Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have actually sent back expensive gifts given to their new baby Shiloh and asked pals to instead donate toward building a school at an orphanage in Namibia . . . Nicole Kidman is denying rumors she’s marrying country star Keith Urban because they’re expecting a baby, but the latest info has the event at North Sydney’s Mary MacKillop Chapel SUNDAY, followed by a honeymoon in Fiji where the entire Wakaya Club Resort has been booked (the same place Keith Richards fell out of a tree) . . . Reports say 36-year-old Jennifer Lopez has had outpatient laparoscopic treatment at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, fertility surgery that may be a last-ditch effort to have a baby with her singer-husband Marc Anthony . . . And it seems Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes are gettin’ busy too – less than 2 months after the birth of Suri, they’re said to already be working on baby #2, and those ubiquitous ‘insiders’ claim she may already be pregnant (like everyone else in Hollywood, they’re working on a sequel).

• Arctic Monkeys – Bass player Andy Nicholson, who ditched a recent international tour due to ‘fatigue’ has now left the band for good. Nick O’Malley, who’s been standing in for Nicholson, will continue to play with the band, at least for remaining shows THIS SUMMER.
• Bon Jovi – TODAY they guest on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated).
• Buckcherry – TONIGHT the LA-based band plays a free show on the outdoor stage at “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Lionel Richie – The oldies singer has reportedly promised his food-challenged daughter, Nicole, a Caribbean yacht cruise for her and her friends if she’ll just put on some weight. Daddy spoiling his little girl is likely the root of many of her probs.
• Martina McBride – TONIGHT she performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Pussycat Dolls – TODAY they’re on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated).
• Rodney Atkins – Seems he knows about “Going Through Hell”. As an infant at an orphanage, he was so sick that 2 couples who’d taken him home brought him back a few days later. Fortunately, a 3rd couple from Cumberland Gap TN refused to give up and adopted him.
• 10 Years – The Knoxville TN rockers have already toured in Japan and Australia THIS YEAR.
The tracks “Through the Iris” and “Wasteland”, about watching someone struggle with addiction, are from their album “The Autumn Effect”.

“Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man” ( Musical Documentary ): This Mel Gibson-produced biographical film about the legendary 71-year-old poet/singer/songwriter is opening in limited release before going wide JULY 14th. Most of the live performances (including Nick Cave, Rufus Wainwright, U2) and behind-the-scenes interviews were captured at Cohen tribute concerts in Brighton, England in May 2004 and Sydney, Australia in January 2005.

A Motion Picture Association study has concluded that 93% of all movies sold in China are pirated, costing studios worldwide $2.7 billion.

Some of the most expensive neighborhoods in the world (based on average home prices) …
5. Victoria Peak, Hong Kong ($3.5 million).
4. Pacific Heights, San Francisco CA ($4.5 million).
3. Belle Haven, Greenwich CT ($5 million).
2. Jupiter Island FL ($5.6 million).
1. Kensington Palace Gardens, London UK ($85 million). House #18-19, evaluated at more than $160 million, is London’s single most expensive home.

According to the book “That Gunk on Your Car: A Unique Guide to the Insects of North America” by University of Florida entomologist Mark Hostetler, most insects fly 4-to-5 feet above the ground, perfect striking distance for cars. Butterflies are a common victim because they’re attracted to yellow reflector lights. By the way, Hostetler refers to his unique area of expertise as ‘splatology’.
– “Pittsburgh Post-Gazette”

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 96% of women want to lose weight to improve their looks, while just 7% of men cite that as a reason.
• 64% of single women have gone to a wedding alone. Awww!
• 60% of people prefer to use their right eye for looking through a keyhole.
• 54% of us think we drive better than everyone else.
• 17% of us won’t lie, not because it’s wrong, but because we’re afraid we’ll get caught.
• 12% of married couples never get undressed in front of each other.

Worldwide audiences for 2006 “World Cup” telecasts are up nearly 30% over the last tournament in 2002. The biggest global rating so far – 60 million for LAST WEEK’s Brazil/Croatia match.

A quirk of the lunar calendar has prompted a massive jump in the number of people getting married in China. This lunar year will last a longer-than-usual 385 days and contain 2 lunar springs – a doubly lucky time to start a family. And the years on either side of 2006 are considered exceptionally unlucky since they feature no lunar spring at all. On top of all that, this is the year of the dog in China, which is also viewed as a good one for marriage. (Next year is considered a good year for China’s population to reach 3 billion.)
– Ananova News

• ‘Rock Star Parking’ – Finding a parking space directly outside the door of a club or restaurant.
• ‘Sofa Samurai’ – Someone without military experience who demands war. Unfortunately they miss the full experience because they never become ‘sofa amputees’ or ‘sofa stiffs’.
• ‘Tramp Stamps’ – Music biz jargon for those cheap lower back tattoos, sported by young goths and rock fans.

A student in Ankara, Turkey has deliberately answered all 180 questions wrong in university entrance exams as a protest against them. The complicated system of testing is considered an ordeal by tens-of-thousands of students each year. Construction engineering student Sefa Boyar says he studied hard ahead of the exams because he needed to know all the correct answers – in order to pick the wrong ones. (This makes a fun radio contest – ‘It Pays to Be Igernant’.)
– Anatolia News

More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a single French kiss.

The all-time most annoying movie characters, according to an online poll of 5,000 film fans …
5. ‘White Goodman’ (Ben Stiller) – “Dodgeball” (2004)
4. ‘Ace Ventura’ (Jim Carrey) – “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” (1994)
3. ‘Mr Bean’ (Rowan Atkinson) – “Bean” (1997)
2. ‘Carrie’ (Andie MacDowell) – “Four Weddings & A Funeral” (1994)
1. ‘Jar Jar Binks‘ – “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace” (1999)

A new drink containing nicotine has been created for smokers who have to fly in an aircraft or find themselves in other places where they can’t light up. The developers of ‘Nic Light’ say the drink is the equivalent of smoking 2 cigarettes. It’s said to taste like water with a hint of lemon and, of course, nicotine. So far it’s available at some terminals at LAX in Los Angeles and is being considered by other airports. (Like drinking leftover beer the morning after a party from a bottle someone used as an ashtray.)
– Internet Broadcasting Systems


1950 [56] Joey Kramer, NYC, rock drummer (Aerosmith-“I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1951 [55] Nils Lofgren, Chicago IL, classic rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band-“Born to Run”)

1964 [42] Doug Savant, Burbank CA, TV actor (‘Tom Scavo’ on “Desperate Housewives”)

1972 [34] Allison Moorer, Quantico VA, country singer (“If Wishes Were Horses”)

1973 [33] Juliette Lewis, LA CA, movie actress (“Natural Born Killers”)/rock singer (Juliette & The Licks)/stage actress (now starring in “Fool For Love” in London’s West End)

1976 [30] Mike Einziger, LA CA, rock guitarist (Incubus-“Wish You Were Here”)

1982 [24] Prince William (William Arthur Philip Louis Windsor), London UK, #1 son of Prince Charles & the late Princess Diana/2nd-in-line to the British throne after his dad

• “Aboriginal Day” in Canada, established in 1996 by Indian & Northern Affairs Canada as a special day to celebrate the unique heritage, cultures and contributions of First Nations, Inuit & Metis people in Canada. It is part of the “Celebrate Canada Celebrations”, which also include “Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day” (JUNE 24), “Canadian Multiculturalism Day” (JUNE 27) and “Canada Day” (JULY 1).

• “Aimless Wandering Day”. Finally, someone’s taken interest in my career!

• “Baby Boomers Recognition Day”, a special day to commemorate the accomplishments of ol’ farts everywhere.

• “Cancer the Crab” zodiac sign begins.

• “Midnight Sun Baseball Classic”, the 100th anniversary game in Fairbanks AK which begins at 10:30 pm WITHOUT artificial lights, because these days Alaskans are enjoying 22 hours of direct sunlight daily.

• “Pick Up Some Litter Day”. Great idea, but make sure it’s not the kitty’s!

• “Summer” officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere with the Summer Solstice at 8:26 am EDT. It’s the date with the longest day and shortest night of the year. The Sun does not set at the North Pole TODAY. There is 24 hours of sunlight.

• “Summer Solstice” in the Northwest Territories, Canada’s land of the Midnight Sun, celebrated variously as “Midnight Madness” in Inuvik, “Raven Mad Daze” in Yellowknife and “Longest Day Celebrations” in Fort Simpson. All will feature music, dance, food, sports … and sunburns.

2003 [03] “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix” (book 5) is released in bookstores and grosses more than the heavily-hyped movie opening of “Hulk”, a feat unprecedented in publishing

1948 [58] 33 1/3 rpm ‘LP Record’ is introduced (something to tell your grandchildren about)

1749 [257] Halifax NS founding day

1879 [127] 1st ‘Five & Dime’ store opened by Frank Woolworth (forerunner of the ‘99 Cent Store’)

2000 [06] ‘World’s Longest Bench’ unveiled at a flower show in Japan, measuring 1,832 feet & seating 900 people (the next day, the world’s largest collection of chewing gum wads is found stuck underneath)

[Thurs] Stupid Guy Thing Day
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Sun] Grand Prix du Canada (Montréal)
[Sun] Log Cabin Day
[Sun] Gay Pride Day (varies in some cities)
[Mon] Discovery Day (NL)
This Week Is … Carpenter Ant Awareness Week      
This Month Is … Fresh Fruit & Vegetable Month


• You used all your bikini wax to polish your skis during the winter.
• Putting on last year’s swimsuit requires Vaseline and a shoe-horn.
• You’re still trying to untangle the Christmas lights from the Weed Whacker.
• Your belly has more rolls than Sara Lee.
• Still hungover from Spring Break.
• Your nickname down at the fitness club – ‘Chicken Legs’.

You run down the list rapid-fire while a listener or studio guest rates each item as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …
• Headbands for women.
• Headbands for soccer players.
• “Treasure Hunters”, the TV show.
• Destination weddings.
• Gay pride parades.
• Weight-loss diets.
• Company picnics.
• Hybrid cars.
• People who wannabe celebs because they’re rich kids.
• People who wannabe celebs because they’re spouses of stars.
• Emergency plans in case of a bird flu epidemic .
• Thank-you gifts for teachers.

I thought about being born again, but my mother refused …

Today’s Question: Summertime is the most popular time to buy one of THESE, and should you have to buy one you’ll spend, on average, $85.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A wedding gift.

Money is a lousy way of keeping score.

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