Friday, June 16, 2006        Edition: #3307
Finally, Some BS to Look Forward To In the Morning!

TODAY-Sunday the 5th annual “Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival” in Manchester TN features performances by close to 60 acts, including Beck, Radiohead, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Elvis Costello, Bonnie Raitt, Ricky Skaggs, Ben Folds, and Death Cab for Cutie (NET: . . TONIGHT FOX-TV begins airing weekly back-to-back rerun episodes of the just-completed season of “24“ (“The following occurred between 9 and 10 pm – 6 months ago …”) . . . SATURDAY a celebrity auction at NYC’s Planet Hollywood restaurant is highlighted by an X-ray of Elvis Presley’s chest, taken in 1973 when ‘The King’ was suffering from congestion (it’s a hunka-hunka burning phlegm) . . . SUNDAY the 2-hour premiere of the reality series “Treasure Hunters” airs (NBC/Global), in which 10 teams head out on a global search to find 7 historical artifacts which, when combined, solve a puzzle leading to a hidden treasure (it’s “The Da Vinci Code” meets “The Amazing Race”!) . . . SUNDAY Paul McCartney turns 64 (as in The Beatles’ tune “When I’m 64”), a landmark his kids want him to downplay but he says he’s considering re-recording the tune (for Heather Mills the answer to “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?”, the answer is – no) . . . “American Idol” Taylor Hicks is ranked as 2006’s ‘Hottest Bachelor’ in show biz by the new issue of “People” magazine – and he says he’s looking (for some talent?) . . . FOX-TV’s “So You Think You Can Dance” is being sued, with a group claiming the idea was stolen from them (if they originated the dance competition, is one of them Dick Clark?) . . .  Marvel Comics calls it ‘The Most Shocking Event in Comic Book History’ as the latest edition of the “Civil War” series features ‘Spiderman’ doing the unthinkable – removing his Spidey mask to publicly reveal his hidden identity (wow, it’s Felicity Huffman in drag again!).

• Fiona Apple – TONIGHT she does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• James Blunt – TOMORROW he’s the musical guest on a rerun of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by actor Dane Cook.
• The Killers – They’ve relocated to London to complete the much-anticipated follow-up to “Hot Fuss”. Frontman Brandon Flowers says the new album will have a more serious side because they’re ‘not singing about teenage girls anymore’.
• Missy Elliott – Actor Robert De Niro’s Tribeca Films has bought the rights to produce a bio-film tracing her career from early days with the group Sista to the present.
• Nelly Furtado – TONIGHT she performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Three Days Grace – TONIGHT they guest on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• The Who – SATURDAY the classic rockers kick off their 2006 world tour at Britain’s Leeds University where they recorded the “Live at Leeds” album in 1970.

• “The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): In this 3rd go-round, the bad boys playing with adult-size ‘Hot Wheels’ travel to Tokyo where a young street racer (Lucas Black) has moved to avoid a jail sentence back home. There he gets involved in the world of drift racing (where the rear end of the vehicle appears to chase the front end around turns). Co-stars Zachery Ty Bryan & Bow Wow. First Vin Diesel abandoned this franchise, now Paul Walker – hmm, what does that say? Over 100 cars were wrecked during filming. Theme music & trailer here …
• “Garfield’s A Tale of Two Kitties” ( PG Family Comedy ): When ‘Jon Arbuckle’ (Breckin Meyer) brings his cat on a trip to the UK, a case of mistaken cat identity finds ‘Garfield’ (voiced by Bill Murray) ruling over a castle. His reign is jeopardized by the wicked ‘Lord Dargis’ (Billy Connolly). Jennifer Love Hewitt co-stars in this follow-up to 2004’s “Garfield”. Theme music and sound bites here …
• “The Lake House” ( PG Fantasy Romance ): Sandra Bullock plays a lonely time-traveling doctor who begins exchanging love letters with a frustrated architect (Keanu Reeves) through a mysterious mailbox. A remake of the South Korean film “Siworae”. Sandra & Keanu together again, just like in “Speed” – but without any cool car chases. Here’s the trailer …
• “Nacho Libre” ( PG Comedy ): Jack Black stars as a cook in a Mexican monastery who moonlights as a Lucha Libre (‘LOO-cha LEE-bray’) wrestler (free-style fighting introduced in 1930s Mexico) in order to provide better food for his orphans and to win the favor of ‘Sister Encarnacion’ (Ana de la Reguera). Loosely based on the true story of a priest who moonlighted as a luchador (wrestler) on the Mexican pro wrestling circuit. Some fun sound bites here …

SUNDAY the 17th annual “MMVAs” are handed out live in Toronto on MuchMusic (& many other CHUM-owned TV stations). Performers include Nelly Furtado, Fall Out Boy, Rihanna, Nick Lachey, Simple Plan, and Yellowcard. Award presenters include Paris Hilton (agh!!!), home-wrecker Tori Spelling (no!!!), actresses Amanda Bynes, Elisha Cuthbert, and Jesse Metcalfe, and musicians Sam Roberts, Evanescence, Theory Of A Deadman, The Trews and TI.

The average Canadian male takes 32 minutes to get ready in the morning. 12% pull it off in under 10 minutes, while another 4% take over an hour.

Only 53% of students who start college will actually graduate and a whopping 70% of those who do graduate end up unhappy and disillusioned in their career within the first 5 years. This is the ‘college crisis’, according to Andrew Hewitt & Luc d’Abadie, co-authors of the new book “The Power of Focus for College Students”. The solution? Do 3 or 4 internships along the way. The authors claim that’s the best way to ‘test-drive’ careers and find the one that will get you out of bed in the morning. (Yeah, well we certainly got that part down … really early in the morning.)
– “Social Studies”

THIS YEAR the average American college student graduated with more than $19,000 of debt.

THIS SUMMER a new genre of computer game is being launched, which combines online gaming with online dating. To play “Naughty America”, users fill out a questionnaire in order to be set up with other suitable gamers. Players can then go on virtual dates, for example, taking a horse-drawn carriage ride or going out clubbing. The game also enables players to see their virtual date in real-life by switching on their webcams. If the date goes well, the virtual couple can even retire indoors for some cyber nookie. (When you win this game – you score!)
– “GQ”

Only 2 of the 4 Beatles have managed to reach the age of 64.

Guy Negre of France has invented a zero pollution car that involves no combustion. The source of power for the car is – air. The expansion of compressed air stored in tanks pushes the pistons and creates movement. The vehicle is being developed by Moteur Development International (MDI), which claims the it car can reach a speed of 68 mph, with a range exceeding 125 miles or 8 hours of travel. The tank can be recharged when attached to an air pump in a gas station for only 2 minutes. (Let’s see 25 cents to use an air pump for about 15 seconds … yep, it’s still a good deal!)
– “Business Week”

A patent for an automatic spaghetti-spinning fork was issued in July 1950.

In its continuing bid to dominate the Internet, Google has announced plans to launch a rival to eBay at the end of THIS MONTH. Dubbed “G-buy”, the online payments system will compete with eBay’s PayPal service and include both a shopping and auction site. (What feature would make you switch? Better search options maybe?)
– “Computeractive Magazine”


1942 [64] Eddie Levert, Bessemer AL, oldies singer (The O’Jays-“Love Train”)

1950 [56] James Smith, Philadelphia PA, oldies singer (The Stylistics-“You Are Everything”)

1952 [54] Gino Vanelli, Montréal QC, oldies singer (“Black Cars”)

1987 [19] Diana DeGarmo, Birmingham AL, 2004 “American Idol” runner-up/Broadway performer (“Hairspray”)

Oldies singer Barry Manilow (“I Write the Songs”) is 63; Movie actor Thomas Haden Church (“Sideways”) is 45; Movie actor Greg Kinnear (“As Good As It Gets”) is 43; Tennis player Venus Williams (ranked #12) is 26.

Classic rocker Paul McCartney (The Beatles) is 64; Movie critic Roger Ebert is 64; Classic rocker Tom Bailey (Thompson Twins) is 49; Canadian figure skater Kurt Browning is 40; R&B singer Nathan Morris (Boyz II Men) is 35; Country singer Blake Shelton (“Some Beach”) is 30.

• “Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival”, the 3rd annual in Avon OH, home to the manufacturer of Duck Brand Duct Tape. The weekend festivities are highlighted by SUNDAY’s ‘Duct Tape Fashion Show’. It’s a sticky situation.
• “Morticians Day”. Don’t stiff out on saluting them … people are dying to throw them a party!
• “Work@Home Father’s Day”, held the Friday before “Father’s Day” to honor fathers ‘who work from home as a means of providing balance between professional satisfaction and family interaction’. They’d be saluted Sunday like other dads except … they’ll be working.

• “Alcan Dragon Boat Festival”, the 18th annual in Vancouver that’s expected to attract some 90,000 spectators and over 180 dragon boat teams from around-the-world. The Vancouver version of the Asian tradition is said to be the largest in North America.
• “Chicken Chariot Races” in Wynyard SK at the town’s annual “Summer Carnival”. They’re said to be ‘world famous‘ (meaning people have heard about them all the way to Manitoba). You see, you hook up this li’l tiny cart to a hen and watch it run, while you laugh and laugh and laugh …
PHONER: 306-554-2123 (Jason Chorneyko)/306-554-3661 (Clint McConnell)
• “Eat Your Vegetables Day”, an observance likely begun by somebody’s mommy somewhere. What’s the absolute worst-tasting veggie? Broccoli? Brussels sprouts? Cabbage? Parsnips?
• “International Violin Day”, celebrating composer Igor Stravinsky’s birth anniversary in 1882. A good day to pluck your G-string.
• “National Hollerin’ Contest”, the 38th annual screams into Spivey’s Corner NC, the ‘Hollerin’ Capital of the Universe’. Hollerin’ was the original form of communication in them thar’ hills.

• “Fathers Day”, first proclaimed by the mayor of Spokane WA 96 years ago (June 19, 1910) at the request of one Louise Smart Dodd. It’s now celebrated in about 20 countries, including Britain, Canada, and USA on the 3rd Sunday of June. An estimated $1 billion is now spent each year on “Fathers Day” gifts.
• “International Panic Day, a day to run around worried and concerned … just like any other day.
• “Splurge Day”, when we’re encouraged to go out and do something totally indulgent. What would that be for you?

1995 [11] “Batman Forever” starring Val Kilmer & Nicole Kidman (3rd in the series) debuts in movie theaters and racks up $53 million in box office in its opening weekend

2002 [04] Elvis Presley appears on the UK singles chart for the first time since his death with a remix of his 1968 track “A Little Less Conversation” credited to Elvis vs JXL (which later jumps the pond to become a hit in North America)

1893 [113] 1st box of ‘Cracker Jack’ is sold (1st kid cries when cheapo free toy is busted)

1998 [08] Estimated 2 million people watch 1st ‘Live Birth’ on the Internet (would that qualify as a download?)

1992 [14] ‘World’s Largest Salami’ measures 69 ft-25 ins in circumference, and weighs 1,492 lbs (Flekkefjord, Norway)

1998 [08] Coach Scotty Bowman drinks from the Stanley Cup a record-tying 8th time as his Detroit Red Wings complete sweep of Washington Capitals

1929 [77] 62-year-old Otto Funk completes 4,165-mile walk from NYC to San Francisco in 183 days – playing the violin the entire way!

1975 [31] Randy Farland finds a ‘14-Leaf Clover’ near Sioux Falls SD (worth about 700 years of good luck!)

[Mon] World Sauntering Day
[Tues] World Refugee Day
[Wed] Summer arrives (8:26 am EDT)
[Wed] Canadian Aboriginal Day
[Wed] Baby Boomers Recognition Day
[Wed] Vegan World Day
[1 week today] Take Your Dog to Work Day
This Week Is … Meet A Mate Week
This Month Is … Potty Training Awareness Month


Ask listeners to add to this list …
• “What do you mean you want to play hockey? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?”
• “Your mom and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.”
• “Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car. Go nuts!”
• “No son of mine is going to live under this roof without a tongue stud – now quit your belly aching and lets get to the mall.”
• “Father’s Day? Oh, don’t worry about it … it’s no big deal.”

Highlights of a new nationwide study on fatherhood …
• 64% of dads had their first child between the ages of 20-and-29.
• When their first child was born, 66% of dads were either currently or formerly married to the child’s mother.
• Of those fathers who are currently in their 1st marriage, 90% live with their children.
• Men with college degrees plan to have fewer children, but when they do become dads they are more involved than men who have less education.
• Is it worth being a parent despite all the cost and effort? The resounding answer from virtually all fathers is … yes!

Each of the following have the word ‘father’ in the answer …
• This what they call Santa Claus in the UK. (Father Christmas)
• This is the guy who supposedly decides when your life is over. (Father Time)
• This is arguably the last funny movie Steve Martin made. (“The Father of the Bride”)
• This is one of Pope Benedict XVI’s many official titles. (The Holy Father)
• This 1993 movie stared Daniel Day-Lewis as a falsely accused IRA terrorist. (“In the Name of the Father”)

Arabic/Turkish … Babba
Chinese … Ba
Croatian/Czech/Polish … Tata
Cree/Dutch/French/Russian/Spanish/Swedish … Papa
Filipino … Tatay or Tay
German … Vater or Papi
Hebrew … Av or Aba
Hindi … Baap
Hungarian … Apa or Apu
Italian … Babbo
Japanese … Oto-San or Chichi
Malay/Indonesian … Abah or Ayah
Persian/Farsi …  Pitar
Portuguese … Pai
Sicilian … Patri
(In case you get calls – there are several variations in each language just as in English we have father, dad, daddy, pop, pa, etc.)

Today’s Question: According to a bridal shop survey, 10% of women have attended a wedding in which the groom was THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: An ex-husband.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Refer your friends to “BS” – you’ll get a FREE MONTH of service for each new subscriber!

Printer Friendly Version