Friday, June 9, 2006        Edition: #3302
Sheet For Brains!

TODAY the $4.1-million official ‘first pics’ of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt appear in “People” magazine in North America, “Hello!” in Britain/Spain, and in Australia’s “New Idea” (anyone who cares has already seen them on numerous – about-to-be-sued – websites) . . . SUNDAY “X-Men” star Hugh Jackman hosts the “60th Tony Awards” for Broadway’s best, live from NYC’s Radio City Music Hall on CBS-TV as Canadian production “The Drowsy Chaperone” leads nominations with 13, followed by Oprah Winfrey’s stage version of “The Color Purple” (not nominated were “Phantom of the Oprah”, “Fiddler On The Phone” or “Guys & Inflatable Dolls”) . . . Hugh Jackman will next star opposite Nicole Kidman in director Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming untitled WW2 epic since Russell Crowe has been dumped (no word on why – but he likely threw something) . . . SUNDAY at the 10th annual “Tony Awards Party” in Los Angeles, actress Brittany Murphy will present Liza Minnelli with the “Julie Harris Award for Lifetime Achievement” from The Actors’ Fund of America (awarded to famous folk for – agreeing to make an appearance) . . . THIS WEEK Marc Anthony spent $8,000 on a full-page ad in “Variety”, professing his love for wife Jennifer Lopez & congratulating her on her “Women In Film Award” (awarded to famous folk for – see above) . . . A new Broadway musical called “Natural Woman” is being developed around the songs of Gerry Goffin & Carole King, featuring more than 50 hits by the songwriting duo (“Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow”, “Take Good Care Of My Baby”, “Up On The Roof”, etc etc) . . . THIS WEEKEND’s “North by Northeast Music Festival” in Toronto is expected to draw some 2,000 music biz types, plus tens-of-thousands of music fans to fill the 33 nightclubs that are showcasing roughly 100 mostly indie bands . . . And a  reality TV show based on the board game “Monopoly” is being developed, with toymaker Hasbro and real-life real estate player Donald Trump involved (presumably his catch phrase on this show will be “Go directly to jail!”).

• “Cars” ( G-Rated Animated Comedy ): En route to a big race, hot-shot stock-car racer ‘Lightning McQueen’ (Owen Wilson) gets waylaid in the town of ‘Radiator Springs’ where he discovers there’s more to life than fame & fortune. Other voices supplied by an eclectic cast that includes Bonnie Hunt, Paul Newman, Jay Leno, Larry The Cable Guy, Cheech Marin, George Carlin, sportscaster Bob Costas, and race car legends Richard Petty, Darrell Waltrip, Dale Earnhardt Jr, and Mario Andretti. One online oddsmaker is predicting the Disney/Pixar production will earn more than $77 million THIS WEEKEND. Music and trailer here …
• “A Prairie Home Companion” ( PG-13 Musical Comedy ): A look at what goes on backstage during a fictionalized last broadcast of the celebrated radio show that’s been around since 1974. Director Robert Altman has lined up an all-star ensemble cast that includes Meryl Streep, Woody Harrelson, Lily Tomlin, Kevin Kline, Lindsay Lohan, Tommy Lee Jones, and radio host Garrison Keillor playing ‘GK’ (himself). Shot on location at the Fitzgerald Theater in St Paul MN, where Keillor hosts the real-life radio show distributed by American Public Media.

• Alanis Morissette – She’s split with her fiancé of 2 years, Vancouver movie actor Ryan Reynolds (“Amityville Horror”, “Blade: Trinity”), after dating 4 years. No word on why … perhaps something to do with what happened in a ‘theater’.
• Ashanti – She’s being sued for millions by former manager Linda Berk who claims she guided the singer from an unknown to a ‘music & entertainment superstar’. This has become par for the course these days anytime a manager is let go.
• Black Crowes – SATURDAY they kick off a 9-week summer tour in Seattle WA.
• Dixie Chicks – Their new album tops country charts for a 2nd week but ticket sales for their upcoming “Accidents & Accusations Tour” are below expectations. A Memphis date has already been cancelled, and shows in Indianapolis, Houston & Oklahoma City are uncertain.
• Neil Young – TOMORROW he’s the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live”, a rerun hosted by actor Jack Black.
• Poison – TONIGHT the classic rockers do the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Pussycat Dolls – TONIGHT, to celebrate the 1st anniversary of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, actress Denise Richards joins the troupe on-stage. Previous guest stars have included Eva Longoria, Christina Applegate, Scarlett Johansson, Pamela Anderson & Gwen Stefani.
• Terri Clark – She’s just signed a new record deal with BNA Records, a division of Sony BMG. TONIGHT she performs at Nashville’s “CMA Music Festival” along with Trace Adkins, Billy Currington, Montgomery Gentry & Trisha Yearwood.
• Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers – TONIGHT they open the “Highway Companion Tour” in Charlotte NC. Stevie Nicks is the opener for the first 8 concerts.
• Wolfmother – TONIGHT they perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).

Researchers have studied the love lives of some 6,000 men aged 40-to-80 in Australia, Britain, Canada, New Zealand & the USA. The men least satisfied with what they’re getting? The Brits. And most satisfied? Canadians, with 80% describing their love lives as ‘active’. New Zealand is the only country where more women than men termed their love lives as ‘very active’. (Meaning some male Kiwi must be really getting around..)
– “Social Studies”

Without even thinking about it, women give physical tips that convey their level of interest in a man. According to the book “Read My Hips: The Sexy Art of Flirtation” by Eve Marx, these are the most common body language gestures that reveal a woman’s interest …
• Eye Contact
• Arm Crossing
• Leaning Toward Him
• Leg Crossing
• Hair Twirling
• Lip Licking
• Nostril Flaring
So if you notice a woman who looks like she’s been frozen alive in the Arctic … you’re in luck!

52-year-old Lester Clancy of Mansfield OH has finally managed to patent an invention he’s been mulling over since 1988 – the ‘Cordless Jump-Rope’. Yes that’s right, it’s a jump-rope – minus the rope. All that’s left is 2 handles, so you jump over the pretend rope. Or if you are truly lazy, you can pretend to jump over the pretend rope. What makes this invention work is the moving weights inside the handles which simulate the feel of a rope moving. What’s the point? Clancy claims it’s perfect for the clumsy, so they can still get a cardiovascular workout without worrying about tripping on the rope. (Next he’s working on the invisible basketball uniform.)
NET: (scroll halfway down)

The new book “The Human Voice” by Anne Karpf reveals that women’s voices have deepened over the past 60 years. Research comparing 1945 recordings of women aged 18-to-25 with modern-day women finds the average pitch of today’s female voice is about 23 Hertz lower, which amounts to about a semi-tone drop. Experts think the lower pitch is due to women’s vocal cords getting longer. Why? In general, women themselves are becoming larger. (It’s never over till the fat lady sings … bass.)
– “Times of London”

5. “JFK”
4. “Deep Throat”
3. “Fahrenheit 9/11″
2. “A Clockwork Orange”
1. “The Passion of the Christ”
Current releases “The Da Vinci Code” (13) and “United 93″ (16) are also on the top 25 list.
– “Entertainment Weekly”

25 years ago THIS WEEK, the first reports of patients dying of what became known as AIDS were published by the Centers for Disease Control. (Sadly, still no cure.)


1934 [72] Donald Duck, Hollywood CA, speech-impaired, web-footed Disney movie star (makes his debut in “The Wise Little Hen”, voiced by Clarence Nash)

1961 [45] Michael J Fox, Edmonton AB, movie actor (“Back to the Future” series)/ex-TV actor (“Spin City” 1996-2000) who quit his hit sitcom to launch the Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research after being diagnosed with the syndrome

1963 [43] Johnny Depp, Owensboro KY, movie actor (“Charlie & the Chocolate Factory”, “Corpse Bride”)  COMING UP: Returns as ‘Captain Jack Sparrow’ in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”, opening JULY 7th.

1981 [25] Natalie Portman (Hershlag), Jerusalem, Israel, movie actress (“Star Wars: Episode I-III”, “Cold Mountain”)  UP NEXT: The comedy “My Blueberry Nights”, shooting in JULY..

Britain’s Prince Philip (Mr Queen Elizabeth) is 85; Movie/TV actress Jeanne Tripplehorn (“Big Love”) is 43; Model/movie actress Elizabeth Hurley (“Austin Powers”) is 41; Country guitarist Brian Hofeldt (The Derailers) is 39; TV actor Shane West (“ER”) is 28.

Movie actor Gene Wilder (“Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”) is 73; Classic rocker Frank Beard (ZZ Top) is 57; Country-rocker Donnie Van Zant (Van Zant) is 54; Vancouver movie/TV actor Joshua Jackson (“Cruel Intentions”) is 28.

• “Take a Kid Fishing Weekend”. Even if they aren’t biting, everyone can have a good time outdoors in the fresh air. Sorry li’l dude, but you gotta bait your own hook.
• “World Cup”, the month-long quest to find the soccer world’s top national team gets under way in various sites throughout Germany. TODAY’s half-hour opening ceremony in Munich features all-time soccer great Pélé, German supermodel Claudia Schiffer, and Il Divo teaming with Toni Braxton to perform the official song of the 2006 FIFA World Cup Germany, “The Time of Our Lives”. In an effort to avoid mass absenteeism during the tournament, the UK’s BBC is broadcasting games online so workers can follow the action from their desk. And it’s estimated that cellphone providers throughout the world will take in as much as $300 million from fans downloading clips of matches involving their favorite teams.

• “Belmont Stakes”, the 138th running of the 3rd and final jewel in horseracing’s Triple Crown at Elmont NY’s Belmont Park.
• “Betty Picnic Day”, originally an annual gathering of women named ‘Betty‘ – but since they’re aren’t many left – a good excuse to dine al fresco anyway.
• “International Yo-Yo Day”. The yo-yo was both a weapon and a toy in the Philippines for centuries before Filipino Pedro Flores introduced it to North America in the 1920s. Entrepreneur Donald F Duncan bought the marketing rights in 1928 and created a popular craze. Yo-Yo tricks began evolving with oddball names like ‘Walk the Dog’, ‘Rock the Baby’ & ‘Splitting the Atom’.
• “World Naked Bike Ride” when naturists in dozens of cities worldwide take to the streets on bicycles to protest oil dependency and to ‘celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies’. In Canada, groups have been organized to participate in London, Moncton, Montréal, Ottawa, Toronto, Vancouver & Victoria.
US cities participating include NYC, LA, Boston, Seattle, and Washington DC.

• “Full Moon”, known as the ‘Strawberry Moon’.
• “Hug Holiday”, begun by some eternal optimist somewhere who thinks most of the world’s troubles can be solved with a tight clinch. C’mon now, don’t be shy – group hug everybody!
• “King Kamehameha Day”, honoring Hawaii’s first king who unified the Hawaiian Islands in 1810. Not very significant, but it sure is fun saying ‘Kah-MAY-uh-MAY-uh’!

1822 [184] 1st patent for ‘False Teeth’ (and 1st kid drinks the glass of water on grandpa’s night stand)

1899 [107] 1st ‘Moving Staircase’ built, forerunner of the ‘Escalator’

1923 [83] 1st ‘Armored Car’ is introduced by Brinks Co (leads directly to ‘heist movies’)

1965 [41] A newborn baby in New Zealand is given a world-record 2,310 first names (you oughta see his driver’s license!)

1993 [13] Last Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup as Montréal Canadiens beat LA Kings 4 games to 1 for their 24th championship (c’mon Oilers – it’s long overdue!)

[Mon] Taco Day
[Mon] Kitchen Klutzes Day
[Tues] Juggling Day
[Wed] Family History Day
[Wed] American Flag Day
This Week Is … Brain Tumor Awareness Week
This Month Is … Pest Control Month


• “How to Get a Fabulous Fake Tan!” [“Chatelaine”]
• “Beyond the Kama Sutra: 8 Positions You Haven’t Thought Of” [“Cosmopolitan”]
• “Found! The Easiest Way to Shop For Jeans” [“Glamour”]
• “How to Look Radiant Without Worshiping the Sun” [“Ladies’ Home Journal”]
• “Learn the 9 Moves That Make Men Really Happy!” [“Redbook”]

• “Game Show Goddesses” [“Maxim”]
• “5 Signs You Have Irritable Bowel Syndrome” [“Stuff”]
• “How To Buy a Running Shoe” [“Esquire”]
• “The Girls of MySpace” [“Playboy”]
• “How to Have a One-Night Stand” [“Men’s Health”]

Japanese acoustics expert Matsumi Suzuki has determined how Da Vinci’s famous “Mona Lisa” would sound if she could speak. By taking measurements from the 16th-Century painting, he’s created a model of her skull which provides the info needed to determine tone of voice. At an MSN website you can hear her say, “I am the Mona Lisa. My true identity is shrouded in mystery.”

Today’s Question: According to an online dating service, THIS is the #1 secret you should never tell your partner.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: You’d like to hook-up with his/her best friend.

It’s not so much how busy you are but why you’re busy. The bee is praised; the mosquito is swatted.

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