June 1 2018

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Friday, June 1, 2018 – Edition: #6225

Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ How much money will Roseanne Barr lose with the cancellation of her show? The actress and her co-star John Goodman reportedly earned $250,000 per episode this season. But in total, she earned about $21 million for acting, directing and producing the nine episodes of Season 10. And how much did the decision to axe the show cost ABC? The sitcom’s total advertising haul for this season is estimated to be $45 million. And projections for next season fall in the $60 million-plus range.
(Not after that Tweet, they don’t!)
-Newsweek, Fox
★ The expected departure of “The Walking Dead” star Andrew Lincoln from the hit show will apparently be a gradual one. Following the surprise report on Tuesday that Lincoln, who stars as Rick Grimes, will leave during the upcoming ninth season, more details have begun to emerge about how that exit might play out. Word is that Lincoln’s character will be “phased out” in a way similar to co-star Lauren Cohan, whose character Maggie Rhee will appear only in six episodes.
(Which also means he can come back…and not as a walker!)
-CBR
★ Of all the rumors to come out of the super-secret and star-studded royal wedding reception, the one claiming Serena Williams dominated beer pong was one of the best, because it seemed very possible. This week, she cleared the air to say that it’s false. After her match at the French Open, she said the story was “not even remotely true” and she “doesn’t even drink beer.” She and her husband, Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian, did get a good laugh out of the story, though…
(Thing is, no cameras were allowed….so it COULD still be true!)
-Cosmo
★ Paul Rudd is reportedly one of the top contenders for the lead human role in the upcoming “Sonic the Hedgehog” film. Paramount is eyeing Rudd to play Tom, a police officer who befriends Sonic and will most likely accompany the blue blur on his mission to thwart Dr. Robotnik’s evil plans. Rudd is no stranger to films about small heroes: his third appearance as Ant Man comes this summer in “Ant Man and The Wasp”.
-CBR
★ Jeff Goldblum is to release a jazz piano album later this year. 65 year-old Goldblum has signed his first-ever record deal with Decca, whose executives spotted him playing the piano with singer Gregory Porter on ‘The Graham Norton Show’ last year. It turns out that Goldblum is a talented jazz pianist who has played since he was a child, entertaining in cocktail lounges in Pittsburgh way back when he was 15.
(If there is ONE movie actor who I’d believe could also be a jazz pianist….it’d be him!)
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Julie Bowen, Justin Hartley, Dov Davidoff ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Dana Carvey, Simon Pegg ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Keith Urban, Stephanie Beatriz, Carter McLean ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Hilary Swank, Zach Woods, Shawn Mendes ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Becca Kufrin
• “The Talk” (CBS): Sam Claflin, Shailene Woodley, Darin Brooks, Chi-Lan Lieu
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Billy Porter
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Favorite musical moments from Season 15, featuring U2, Cardi B, Demi Lovato
• “Undercover Boss: Celebrity Edition” (CBS): Pro Football Hall of Famer Deion Sanders goes undercover to find amazing football coaches.

SATURDAY-
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Las Vegas vs. Washington
• “Marrying Mr. Darcy” (HALLMARK): Elizabeth and Donovan get engaged, and their trip to the altar is lively and unpredictable, as they have very different personalities.

SUNDAY-
• “NBA Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Cleveland vs. Golden State
• “Pose” (F/X): Ryan Murphy’s latest explores various aspects of New York life in the 1980s, especially ball culture but also the literary scene and the rise of luxury living and excess (think Donald Trump). With Evan Peters, Kate Mara, and James Van Der Beek.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga – Rumor has it that she and Tony Bennett are recording together again. 91 year-old Bennett was seen at Electric Lady Studio in New York, which is where Gaga is recording these days. He said last year that the two would probably work together again in 2018.
• Ariana Grande – in a new interview, she praised the people of Manchester for remaining ”unified” after the tragedy of the Manchester terror attack. She also said: “I guess I thought with time, and therapy, and writing, and pouring my heart out, and talking to my friends and family that it would be easier to talk about, but it’s still so hard to find the words.”
• Taylor Swift – has fired backup dancer and close friend Toshi after discovering that he allegedly posted a series of offensive and sexist posts to social media. A source says she has considered him one of her closest friends on the road since recruiting him in 2014.
• Beach Boys – Not only will they be performing at this year’s A Capitol Fourth concert in Washington D.C. on July 4th, they’ll also be honored with the National Artistic Achievement Award. The Beach Boys have performed at the event numerous times over the last several decades.
• Ozzy Osbourne – has been crowned 2018’s Golden God by Metal Hammer magazine. In response, Ozzy said: ”What an immense honor it is to be getting a second Golden God Award after (Black) Sabbath picked one up last year.”
• Jimmy Page – has won a small victory in his five-year legal feud with Robbie Williams over their neighboring homes. Page went to Kensington Town Hall this week to appear at a planners’ meeting, in hopes of blocking planned redevelopment to Williams’ home, for fear that it would undermine the structural integrity of Page’s house. Town planners decided to defer permission, subject to further investigation.
• Florida Georgia Line – Tyler Hubbard and wife Hayley are loving life as new parents — so much that they want more kids. Hubbard says that he thinks they’ll eventually end up with three children, “if it’s in God’s plan.” He and Haley also have discussed “possibly adopting one day, as well.”
• Kix Brooks – is the namesake of The Country Music Association’s new “CMA KixStart Artist Scholarship”, a year-long program designed to provide emerging artists with unique professional and educational opportunities in the country music industry. Brooks is the former chairman of the CMA Board and long-serving board member. He also happens to be half of the biggest country music duo of all time—Brooks & Dunn.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Adrift” (PG-13, Drama): Based on a true story of survival, a young couple’s chance encounter leads them first to love, and then on the adventure of a lifetime as they face one of the most catastrophic hurricanes in recorded history. (Shailene Woodley, Sam Claflin)
• “Action Point” (R-Rated, Action/Comedy): The story of the crackpot owner of a low-rent, out-of-control amusement park where the rides are designed with minimum safety for maximum fun. (Johnny Knoxville, Brigette Lundy-Paine)
• “American Animals” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama): Four young men mistake their lives for a movie and attempt one of the most audacious heists in U.S. history. (Evan Peters, Ann Dowd)
• “A Kid Like Jake” (Not Rated, Drama): A Brooklyn couple has always known that their four-year-old son is more interested in fairy tale princesses than toy cars. But when his preschool director points out that his gender-nonconforming play may be more than a phase, the couple is forced to rethink their roles as parents and spouses. (Priyanka Chopra, Ann Dowd, Claire Danes)

MAKING A BIG ‘SPLASH’ THESE DAYS:
Because there is always a wacky new fitness trend right around the corner….introducing ‘Mermaiding’! It’s a new workout series on YouTube which details how you can take the “8-Week Mermaid Transformation Series” by donning a mermaid tail that you are able to swim in, and, well, swimming your way to fitness! Like regular swimming, mermaiding gives you a full body workout, but it focuses on your core as you swim “like a mermaid”, and it apparently also “strengthens your heart, increases your lung capacity, and improves your flexibility.”
(Coming soon: workouts based on other mythical characters – including the unicorn, bigfoot, and the honest politician!)
-Self

WORKING THE CORE:
Yes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but what if we ate the core? And why don’t we? And what if we did? Dr. James Hamblin, senior editor at The Atlantic, says that we can and perhaps SHOULD eat the whole apple. And by whole, he means the core. But not necessarily the seeds. They can be bad for you. But he says that we waste about 30% of an apple by not eating the core. And no one likes to see food go to waste. The best plan of attack is to eat the apple from the bottom through to the top (stem side), spitting out seeds as you go. Word is that if you eat your apple vertically, you’ll hardly even notice that you are eating the core, except you’ll feel a little bit more full when you are done.
(Sounds great, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spit seeds out on the subway yet!)
(Fine until they decide in a study next week that apple cores cause lumbago or something!)
-TheAtlantic

PHRASES PEOPLE USE IN EMAILS WHEN THEY’RE ANNOYED WITH A CO-WORKER:
☞ “Per my last email…”
☞ “Not sure if my email made it to you as I haven’t heard back.”
☞ “Any updates on this?”
☞ “According to my records….”
☞ “Maybe you can point me in the direction of someone who could help me.”
☞ “Please let me know if I misunderstood”
☞ Subject line: “Gentle Reminder”
☞ Sign off: “Warmest Regards…”
(How about “Have you gotten to this yet?” AND cc the boss?)
-HuffingtonPost

BS CHRONOMETER 06.01.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [81] Morgan Freeman, Memphis TN, movie actor (“The Shawshank Redemption”, Academy Award-“Million Dollar Baby”)/advertising pitch-voice (VISA)

1947 [71] Ronnie Wood, Hillingdon UK, classic rock guitarist (Rolling Stones since 1975 [‘Start Me Up’], The Faces 1970-73, Jeff Beck Group 1968-70)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1953 [65] Ronnie Dunn, Coleman TX, country singer (Brooks & Dunn-‘Red Dirt Road’)

1973 [45] Heidi Klum [‘kloom’], Bergisch-Gladbach, Germany, fashion model/TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” since 2013, “Project Runway” since 2004)

1974 [44] Alanis Morissette, Ottawa ON, pop singer (‘You Oughta Know’, ‘Ironic’)/her “Jagged Little Pill” album (1995) sold over 33 million worldwide

1981 [37] Brandi Carlile, Ravensdale WA, alt-country singer-songwriter (‘The Story’)

1981 [37] Amy Schumer, New York City, NY, comedian, actress (“Trainwreck, “Snatched”)

1996 [22] Tom Holland, Kingston, England, move actor, (“Billy Elliot”, “The Impossible” and “Spider-Man: Homecoming”) COMING UP… “Chaos Walking” 2019

2000 [18] Willow Shields, Albuquerque NM, movie actress (‘Primrose Everdeen’ in “The Hunger Games” movies)

SATURDAY-
Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts is 77; Movie actor Dana Carvey (“Wayne’s World”) is 63; TV host Andy Cohen (“Watch What Happens Live”) is 50; TV actor Wentworth Miller (“Prison Break”) is 46; TV personality Wayne Brady (“Who’s Line Is It Anyway?”) is 46; Movie actor Zachary Quinto (“Star Trek”) is 41; Rock drummer Fabrizio Moretti (The Strokes) is 38

SUNDAY-
Former Cuban President Raúl Castro is 87; Actress Penelope Wilton (“Downton Abbey”) is 72; TV news correspondent Anderson Cooper is 51; Singer Suzi Quatro is 68

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Donut Day”, on the first Friday in June, people participate in National Doughnut (or Donut) Day. It celebrates the donut and honors the Salvation Army Lassies, the women who served donuts to soldiers during WWI. This means that it is your civic duty to consume one, or possibly one dozen.

• “Dare Day”, a day to do something that you have been wanting to do but couldn’t get up the courage to try.

• “Flip a Coin Day”, a day of easy decision making. Just flip and follow the results. (Or ask Siri to do it for you…)

• “Global Day of Parents”, a UN observance since 2012 to honor all parents and appreciate their selfless commitment to their children.

• “International Children’s Day”, first proclaimed in 1925 by the World Conference For the Well-Being of Children in Geneva, Switzerland. The day is designed to draw attention to any and all children’s issues. (If it’s both Parents Day and Children’s Day, we just might have a problem…)

• “Go Barefoot Day”, a day to enjoy the comforts and pleasant sensations of shedding footwear. Why? Because it feels great! The members of the ‘Society For Barefoot Living’ believe you should go barefoot all the time.

• “Heimlich Maneuver Day”, honoring the ‘abdominal thrust’ method of stopping choking, first described by Dr Henry Heimlich in a June 1974 article in the journal “Emergency Medicine”. BS FACTOID: In 2016, 96-year-old Heimlich used the technique himself for the first time when a female resident at his retirement home in Cincinnati OH was choking at the dinner table. He died in December 2016. (Of a heart attack, in case you were wondering.)

• “Say Something Nice Day”, a day to thank someone, encourage someone, compliment everyone. Remember, if you can’t say something nice … mum’s the word!

SATURDAY-
• “Rocky Road Day”, saluting the ice cream flavor that’s made with chocolate ice cream, nuts, and marshmallows. (Immortalized by ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic in his Joan Jett parody, ‘I Love Rocky Road’).

• “Bubba Day”, honoring those formally named or just informally called ‘Bubba’. (We’re betting most of ‘em live in ‘Dixie’.) A quick search for famous ‘Bubbas’ reveals that all of the top 12 are nicknamed (rather than born with the name) Bubba, including Bill ‘Bubba’ Clinton, Charles ‘Bubba’ Smith and Gerry ‘Bubba’ Watson Jr.

• “Rotisserie Chicken Day” , This delicious style of chicken is cooked whole on a rotisserie or spit that turns continuously over a heat source, roasting it slowly. This sears the skin to seal in the flavor, resulting in a tender and juicy chicken. (Also results in the dog laying around in the kitchen all day, drooling).

SUNDAY-
• “Chocolate Macaroon Day”, with a rich creamy chocolate filling and a light coating, they’re the perfect combination of textures. Chocolate Macaroon Day celebrates this delicious treat and encourages you to indulge in them!

• “Repeat Day”, Repeat Day is an opportunity to do things over and over again. Repeat Day is an opportunity to do things over and over again. Remember how yesterday was National Donut Day? Begin repeating.

• “National Egg Day”, a terrific source of protein and vitamin D, which makes them one of the healthiest breakfast foods. Did you know that there are more than a hundred ways to cook an egg? Some of the most popular varieties are scrambled, fried, poached, hard-boiled, sunny-side up, and over-easy.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [10] Fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent dies in Paris, France at age 71

2009 [09] Conan O’Brien debuts as host of NBC-TV’s “Tonight Show” (steps down after 7 months due to a dispute with the network … and a $33-million payoff)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2005 [13] White Stripes singer Jack White marries his girlfriend, British model Karen Elson, in a canoe on the Amazon River in Brazil

2017 [01] Thanks to the song by Eminem, the word “stan” is added to the Oxford American Dictionary, defined as “an overzealous or obsessive fan of a particular celebrity.”

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2002 [16] 16 skydivers set a new world record by jumping simultaneously from a hot-air balloon 10,000 ft (3,048 m) over Peterborough, England and landing safely on 6,000 rolls of bathroom tissue (a publicity stunt)

2009 [09] General Motors files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in the 4th-largest bankruptcy in US history

2015 [03] At the Rock ‘n’ Roll San Diego Marathon, Harriette Thompson (92 years, 65 days) becomes ‘Oldest Person to Finish a Marathon’, beating the previous record (92 years, 19 days)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The average English-speaker has about 50,000 words in their mind and finds the correct one in approximately 600 milliseconds.
✓ Of the 4,799 songs that have reached the top ten of Billboard Hot 100 chart, only 17 have been primarily or entirely in a language other than English. B-T-S’ ‘Fake Love’ did it this week.
✓ Hairless guinea pigs exist, and they look like miniature hippos.
✓ Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make about 10.
✓ Scientists believe that summer babies are significantly more likely to suffer from mood swings than babies born in other seasons.
✓ You can pay a travel agency in Tokyo to send your stuffed animal on vacation without you.
-FactRetriever

BS SIGNS IT’S BEEN A LONG WEEK:
• You can’t even be bothered making the sandwich; you just eat the ingredients separately.
• You take a screenshot on your phone to show a friend the crack on the screen.
• May feels like it was months ago.
• You ran out of alcohol on Wednesday night.
• The coffee isn’t working so you start eating it from the jar.
• You haven’t had to delete your browser history once this week.
• You just microwaved your muffin for 37 minutes..
• You spend half of Thursday morning frantically searching for motivational quotes.
• You have used the phrase “This has never happened before” more than 3 times since Monday.
• You aren’t even sure if it’s Friday.
-Twitter

BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO DAMN HONEST:
• When everyone in the elevator starts to wince you announce, “It was me!”
• When you’re late for work and the boss asks “Heavy traffic?”, you answer “No, I hate you, I hate this job and I wait until the last possible minute to leave the house each morning.”
• When someone asks why you’re selling a particular item at your garage sale you say “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore but rather than junk it I thought some idiot might give me money for it.”
• When a potential buyer asks why you’re selling your car you say “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore but rather than junk it I thought some moron might give me money for it.”
• Every time your wife asks you if you think she needs to lose some weight you end up sleeping on the couch.
-First published in BS in 2004

BS PHONE STARTER:
Go ahead…tell us your worst first-date story.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which name for a collective group is incorrect?
a. Islands: a chain.
b. Onions: a tear. [INCORRECT]
c. Jewels: a cache.
d. Keys: a ring
e. Guns: a battery
(A group of onions is referred to as a ‘rope’.)
-TinyOnline

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 10% of men say they have gone to a business meeting wearing THIS. What?
Answer: Their lucky underpants

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Simply being against evil does not mean that you are good.

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