Friday, June 10, 2011        Edition: #4525
Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Jennifer Love Hewitt (“I Know What You Did Last Summer”) has been named ‘Worst Film Actress Since 1985’ in a new Slate.com ranking which uses stats from the movie ratings website RottenTomatoes.com (even Jessica Simpson fared better – how embarrassing is that?) . . . Actor Zach Galifianakis has revealed that “Hangover 3” (already in the planning) could ditch the format of the first 2 films and center on his character escaping from an asylum with help from the ‘Wolf Pack’ (well, no need to pony up 15 bucks to see that one now) . . . Actor George Clooney’s girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis tells an Italian magazine she may be the one who’ll make him give up his days as one of the world’s most eligible bachelors (oops, time to start packing your bags!) . . . Of the scripted American TV shows launched last Fall, only 5 (23%) are returning next season (a year earlier, the success rate was 50%) . . . Actor Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) is reportedly considering running for NYC mayor (you’re carrying around way too much baggage for this to ever happen, you ‘ungrateful pig’) . . . Just days after being spotted with NY Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, 21-year-old actress Hayden Panettiere has been photo-ed on the town in Hollywood CA with NY Jets wide receiver Scotty McKnight (apparently she’s dating the whole team?) . . . Famous person Kim Kardashian is threatening to sue “In Touch Weekly” for alleging in its current cover story that she was also involved with New England Patriots football safety Bret Lockett during her courtship with New Jersey Nets basketball player-fiancé Kris Humphries (how can she keep track; does she have a ‘Shag Secretary’?) . . . Meantime, Kardashian tells “Us Weekly” that she’s planning to have a bun in the oven by the end of the year (ok guys, let’s spin the paternity wheel and see who gets lucky!).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Download Festival (Donington Park UK) – Tonight the annual 3-day British festival begins. The weekend’s scheduled acts include Avenged Sevenfold, The Darkness, Def Leppard, Rob Zombie, and the reunited System Of a Down.
NET: http://www.downloadfestival.co.uk/2011/index.aspx
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Josh Groban (“Illuminations”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Moby (“Destroyed”); The Sadies (“Darker Circles”).
• “Ice Loves Coco: Baby Got Backstory” (E!) – Sunday the debut of a new reality series featuring rapper/actor Ice-T and his wife Coco.
• Isle of Wight Festival (Seaclose Park UK) – Tonight the annual 3-day festival on the English Channel isle begins. Scheduled performers include Foo Fighters, Kings Of Leon, the reunited Pulp, and The Script.
NET: http://www.isleofwightfestival.com
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Lykke Li (“Wounded Rhymes”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The Hours (“See the Light”); Lykke Li (“Wounded Rhymes”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight DJ Quik (“Book of David”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Tonight the Broadway cast of “How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying”.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Miley Cyrus; musical guest The Strokes (“Angles”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Neon Trees (“Habits”).
• “Unplugged” (MTV/MTV2/MTVcom) – Sunday Weezy performs acoustic versions of select hits in MTV’s first unplugged rap concert since Jay-Z’s 2001 special featuring The Roots.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Nick Jonas (Jonas Bros).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – Joe Perry has confirmed they’ll record a new album this July in the Massachusetts studio the band built 6 years ago. It will be their first set of original material since 2001’s “Just Push Play”.
• Brad Paisley – Carrie Underwood tells the “Billboard Country Music Summit” that he is never on time for anything … ever. Guess we can start calling him ‘the late Brad Paisley’.
• Katy Perry – She plays braces-wearing, 13-year-old ‘Kathy Beth Terry’ in the upcoming video for “Last Friday Night (TGIF)”, which debuts Tuesday. Her alter ego already has her own Facebook and Twitter accounts.
• Lady Gaga – She admits she gets laughed at by friends because she often goes to sleep with full stage make-up on. “Born This Way” remains the #1 selling album for a 2nd week-in-a-row.
• Michael Jackson – Insurer Lloyd’s of London is refusing to pay the $17.5-million policy that AEG Live took out on the doomed 50-date “This Is It” residency at the O2 arena. The company says the cancellation insurance is not valid because AEG failed to supply details of ‘prescription drug use and/or addiction’. An insurance company refusing to pay up … how unusual.
• Ryan Adams – Tonight he ends a 2-year hiatus by kicking off a string of dates beginning in Stockholm, Sweden. The singer/songwriter stepped away from the music biz shortly after marrying actress/singer Mandy Moore in 2009.
• Shania Twain – She’ll unveil her new single, her first in 6 years, during Sunday’s finalé of her reality show “Why Not? with Shania Twain” on the OWN network. She’s also announced a 2-year residency at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. She’s scheduled to perform 60 shows per year beginning December 1st, 2012.
• U2 – They’ve delayed plans to release a new album in 2011, telling “Rolling Stone” their next studio album probably won’t be out until 2012. Manager Paul McGuinness also reveals they plan to recycle the pieces of their giant claw “360 Tour” stage as ‘permanent event spaces’.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Judy Moody & The Not Bummer Summer” ( PG Comedy ): When her parents take an unexpected trip to California, a 3rd-grader (Jordana Beatty) creates a series of dares in order to have the most thrilling Summer of her life. Her way-cool aunt (Heather Graham) and little brother ‘Stink’ (Parris Mosteller) join in the adventures. Based on the kid-lit book series.
NET: http://www.judymoody.com
• “Super 8” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): The latest from writer-director JJ Abrams (“Lost”) involves a small town train derailment in the 1970s that unleashes mysterious cargo from ‘Area 51’. The title refers to the ‘Super 8’ camera that the kids in the story are using to shoot a homemade movie. Stars Joel Courtney, Kyle Chandler, and Elle Fanning (younger sister of Dakota).
NET: http://www.super8-movie.com

GOING BUGGY OVER ICE CREAM:
A Missouri public-health official is asking Sparky’s Homemade Ice Cream in Columbia to cool it with their new flavor … ‘Cicada’. Employees collected real cicadas from their backyards and removed most of the dead insects’ wings. The bugs were then boiled and covered in brown sugar and milk chocolate. The base ice cream is brown sugar & butter-flavored. Even though there’s an advisory against it, customers seemingly can’t get enough of the stuff. The first batch sold out within hours. (We can’t wait for ‘Mosquito Ripple’.)
– “Columbia Missourian”

BS SNORING REMEDIES:
• Anti-Snoring Pillow – Strapped to the snorer’s head to keep him from rolling over onto his back.
• Chin-Strap – Supposedly keeps the jaw stable, the airway open, and the soft tissue in the throat from vibrating.
• Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) – A mask attached to an air blower that blasts air through the snorer’s nasal passages, keeping the throat and soft tissue from collapsing.
• Mandibular Advancement Device (MAD) – This plastic mouth guard pushes the snorer’s jaw forward, creating a space for airflow.
• Surgery – Lasers, needles, implants, moving the jaw, broadening the windpipe, all with varying results and side effects.
– Adapted from TheToiletPaper.com

SERVICE IS SECRET TO SUCCESS:
A new survey shows we are increasingly becoming fed up with poor customer service. The poll finds that 64% of us have walked out of a store due to lack of assistance; and 67% of us have hung up on a ‘customer service’ phone call before even having our problems addressed. ‘Not being able to get a human on the phone’ is the #1 gripe, according to the study, followed by ‘rude salespeople’. (Still using a menu-driven phone system at your station? Shame on you!)
– “Consumer Reports”

THE ART OF RETAIL:
A while back a group of 5 artists walked into the Fancy Grocery convenience store in NYC’s West Village and bought every single item. By the time they were done the owner was completely depleted of stock and had used up 2 rolls of receipt paper to ring up all the purchases. Now those same artists are attempting to sell their finds in an exhibition entitled ‘The Art of Convenience’. Among the items for sale: a Coke can for $150. Is that too much? Keep in mind that they cleverly inverted it, thus increasing its artistic value. Other ‘art works’ here …
NET: http://www.storebuyout.com/art
– Neatorama.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The average videogame buyer today is 41-years-old; the average player is now 37-years-old.
– CNET.com
• Isaac Newton, who first defined the laws of gravity, is also credited as the inventor of the ‘cat door’.
– Asylum.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 06.10.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1921 [90] Prince Philip Mountbatten (Philippos Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderbert-Glucksburn, Prince of Greece), Corfu, Greece, Duke of Edinburgh & Mr Queen Elizabeth II since 1947 (see BULL’S BITS)

1953 [58] John Edwards, Seneca SC, former US Senator who cheated on his wife while running for President/now charged with 4 counts of illegal campaign contributions along with conspiracy and manufacturing fictitious statements concerning his affair

1964 [47] Kate Flannery, Philadelphia PA, TV actress (‘Meredith Palmer’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1965 [46] Elizabeth Hurley, Basingstoke UK, movie actress (“Austin Powers” films)/model (Estée Lauder)

1983 [28] Josh Ramsay, Vancouver BC, rock singer/songwriter (Marianas Trench-“All to Myself”, “Say Anything”)

2001 [10] Sasha (Natasha) Obama, Chicago IL, younger daughter of US President Barack Obama & First Lady Michelle Obama

SATURDAY –
Classic rock drummer Frank Beard (ZZ Top) is 62; TV actor Hugh Laurie (“House”) is 52; TV personality Mehmet Oz (“The Dr Oz Show”) is 51; TV actor Joshua Jackson (“Fringe”) is 33; Movie actor Shia LaBeouf (“Transformers”) is 25.

SUNDAY –
Former US President George HW Bush is 87; Pop singer Robyn (“Dancing On My Own”) is 32; Fashion model Adriana Lima (Victoria’s Secret) is 30; Reality TV personality Kendra Wilkinson (“Kendra”) is 26; Country singer Chris Young (“Gettin’ You Home [The Black Dress Song]”) is 26.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ball Point Pen Day”, celebrating its 1943 invention by Lasalo Biro of Budapest, Hungary. Britain’s Royal Air Force employed him during WW2 to develop a pen that could write under low atmospheric pressure at high altitudes.
• “Iced Tea Day”, celebrating the favorite summer cooler of millions. Tea is the world’s 2nd-most-popular beverage … after water. According to the Tea Association of Canada, Canadians drink more than 7 billion servings of tea (either hot or cold) per year.

SATURDAY –
• “Belmont Stakes”, the 143rd running of the 3rd and final jewel in horseracing’s Triple Crown at Elmont NY’s Belmont Park. This year’s total jackpot is circa $1 million.
NET: http://www.belmontstakes.com
• “Corn On the Cob Day”, celebrating the only ears most of us will ever eat.
• “King Kamehameha Day”, honoring Hawaii’s first king, who unified the Hawaiian Islands in 1810. Not very significant to the rest of us … but it sure is fun saying ‘Kah-MAY-uh-MAY-uh’!
• “Wicket World of Croquet Day”, saluting that other game that requires hitting balls on grass.
• “World Naked Bike Ride” when naturists in some 70 cities in 20 countries worldwide take to the streets on bicycles to protest oil dependency and to ‘celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies’. In Canada, groups have been organized to participate in Halifax, Montréal, Ottawa, Toronto, Winnipeg, Vancouver, and Victoria. US cities participating include Albany, Chicago, LA, NYC, and San Francisco.
NET: http://www.worldnakedbikeride.org

SUNDAY –
• “Children’s Sunday”, an annual salute to the wee folk on the 2nd Sunday in June.
• “Grand Prix Montréal 2011”, the annual F1 race on the circuit Gilles-Villeneuve.
NET: http://www.grandprixmontreal.com
• “Taco Day”, a day to stuff a hard tortilla shell with your favorite hot ‘n spicy fillings. (Tomorrow is “Unbearable Cramps Day”. )
• “World Day Against Child Labor”, an annual observance since 2002 created by the International Labor Organization to raise awareness and activism against child labor for economic or military purposes.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [06] Action comedy “Mr & Mrs Smith” opens in movie theaters, the film in which Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie become a couple … both onscreen and off

2007 [04] Close to 12 million fans tune in for the final episode of “The Sopranos” on HBO

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1978 [33] John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John’s “You’re The One That I Want” hits #1

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1952 [59] 1st ‘Drive-Thru Restaurant’ opens (next day, the 1st cup of boiling hot coffee spills onto a driver’s lap)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1979 [32] ‘World’s Largest Pastry’ is baked in Liestal, Switzerland … a 1,084-ft-long éclair (“And gimme a keg of coffee with that, please!”)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Queen’s Official Birthday (UK)
[Tues] “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” opens on Broadway
[Tues] World Blood Donor Day
[Wed] Full ‘Strawberry’ Moon
[Wed] Photography Day
This Week Is … Beef Week
This Month Is … Zoo & Aquarium Month

BULL’S BITS

LONG LINE OF PRINCELY GAFFES:
Britain’s Prince Philip is infamous for his often ill-advised comments, such as these ….
• To Queen Elizabeth II, after her coronation: “Where did you get the hat?”
• To a blind women with a guide: “Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”
• To an Aborigine in Australia: “Do you still throw spears at each other?”
• To a Scottish driving instructor: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”
• When asked if he’d like to visit Russia: “The bastards murdered half my family.”
• To Elton John after hearing he had a gold Aston Martin: “Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car. We often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”
• To the president of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes: “You look like you’re ready for bed!”
• On aging: “We shall all be old one day … provided, of course, we can avoid being slaughtered on the roads or beaten up by some hooligan in a peace demonstration.”
– Listverse.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Ever notice at the beach that it’s a lot easier to get sand in your swimsuit than to get it out?

BS PHONE STARTER:
The ‘SlutWalk’ movement has divided feminists. Should women really want to try to reclaim the word? And is undressing the best way to protest against rape?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS happens most frequently on Friday afternoons.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Road rage.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Jogging helps you forget your problems by allowing you to focus on the physical pain of the moment.


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