Wednesday, June 10, 2015        Edition: #5470

Sheet Happens!

★ Brad Pitt is taking his “War Machine” to Netflix. Pitt will produce and star in the satirical comedy film, playing a 4-star, ‘rock star’ general who is the US commander in Afghanistan. The movie is inspired by the best-selling book “The Operators: The Wild and Terrifying Inside Story of America’s War in Afghanistan” by late author Michael Hastings. Pitt’s first Netflix venture will be released on Netflix globally in 2016 and will also get a theatrical release. Shooting is scheduled to start in August.
– “USA Today”
★ Netflix’s futuristic fantasy “Sense8” – the new sci-fi series from the Wachowski siblings – has become one of the most-pirated TV shows just days after its release. The 12-episode series, which Netflix dropped June 5th with all episodes available in applicable territories, comes from the creators of “The Matrix”. Since it launched on Friday, “Sense8” episodes have been downloaded over a half-million times by torrent users around-the-world, according to piracy-tracking firm Excipio. The figures seem to once again show that widespread digital distribution is still no protection against Internet piracy.
★ Pop star/actress Hilary Duff has given up looking for love on Tinder after her presence on the online dating app became public knowledge. The “Cheaper By the Dozen” star split from Mike Comrie, her former hockey-playing husband and father of her 3-year-old son Luca, last year. She confirmed in March that she was using Tinder to find a new guy and had even been on a couple of dates. However, Duff now admits that talking about her online search for love was a mistake and says she’s given up on the app.
– “Daily Star”
★ TV star Emily Deschanel (“Bones”) has given birth to a baby boy. The 38-year-old actress, who already has 3-year-old son Henry with husband David Hornsby, has yet to announce details of the birth or their new child’s name but the new addition has been confirmed by her reps. Meanwhile, Emily’s 35-year-old sister, “New Girl” star Zooey Deschanel, is also currently pregnant with fiancé Jacob Pachenik, and is expected to give birth sometime over the Summer.
– Bang Showbiz
★ And 60-year-old comic actor Rowan Atkinson, known for years to TV & movie audiences as ‘Mr Bean’, has sold his 240-mph McLaren F1 sports car in one of the biggest-ever vehicle deals in the UK. It went for a staggering £8 million (circa $12 million), giving him a profit of £7.3 million ($11 million+) over what he paid in 1997. Atkinson crashed the car in 1999, then 2 years later lost control on a slippery road and hit a tree, destroying most of the vehicle. He eventually received what’s thought to be Britain’s highest-ever car insurance payout, with the vehicle costing £900,000 (over $1.3 million) to be rebuilt by race car maker McLaren.
– “The Sun”

• “CMT Music Awards” (CMT) – “Dancing With the Stars” host Erin Andrews and “Pitch Perfect” actress Brittany Snow co-host live from Bridgestone Arena in Nashville TN. Carrie Underwood leads nominations with 5; followed by Kenny Chesney and Lady Antebellum with 4 each. Performers include Darius Rucker, Eric Church, Florida Georgia Line, Jake Owen, Jason Aldean, Keith Urban, Luke Bryan, Reba, Sam Hunt, and Zac Brown Band.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Zella Day (“Kicker”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Dwight Yoakam (“Second Hand Heart”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Natalie Prass (“Natalie Prass”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Kacey Musgraves (“Pageant Material”, out June 23rd.)
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Shad Moss (“Underrated”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Of Monsters & Men (“Beneath the Skin”).

• Ashley Monroe – Last night her concert in Nashville TV was streamed via Yahoo Live. She releases her 2nd solo album, “The Blade”, on July 24th.
• Fall Out Boy / Wiz Khalifa – Tonight in  Camden NJ they begin the 40-city+ “Boys of Zummer” co-headlining tour. The Summer road trip comes in support of their respective albums, “American Beauty/American Psycho” and “Blacc Hollywood”.
• 50 Cent – Eminem’s rap collective D12 passed on the Dr Dre-produced “In Da Club” track before Fiddy turned it into a smash hit in 2003.
• Florence + The Machine – This week they’ve topped the UK album chart for the 3rd time, with their new album “How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful”.
• Jennifer Lopez – “Gone Girl” star and future ‘Batman’ Ben Affleck has said that appearing in the video for “Jenny From the Block” with then-fiancée J-Lo is the biggest regret of his career.
• Rascal Flatts – They sang the pre-game anthem at last night’s Game 3 of the NBA Finals in Cleveland OH.
• The Who – Veteran rocker Pete Townshend says he thinks 70 is the new 30. Quote: “It seems like a doorway that’s going to take you to another area of difficulty and challenges.” His new project “Classic Quadrophenia” with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra was released yesterday.

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 70% of people do not handle conflict or stress effectively in the workplace.
• 42% of men and 27% of women NEVER use sunscreen.
• 25% of men check out an ex’s Facebook page at work so their partner won’t catch them doing it.
• 21% of women say the ultimate flattery is a compliment about their … handbag.
• 15% of employees say they feel respected and valued by their employers.
• 5% of us wish we had a microwave oven in the car.

Xiao Meili, a prominent women’s rights activist in China, says women are often anxious about their armpit hair as if it’s a sign of being dirty or uncivilized but they should have the freedom to choose whether to accept what grows naturally on their bodies. To that end, she’s launched an ‘Armpit Hair Competition’ on Weibo, China’s popular micro-blog. Now thousands of people are taking part in an online debate about underarm hair. Having body hair may now be considered ‘manly’, Xiao says, but hairless underarms are not part of the traditional Chinese perception of beauty. In fact, Chinese people used to consider a glimpse of women’s armpit hair ‘mysterious and charming’. (Yeah, charming pits you got there, hon’. Male or female … hair’s gross, no?)
– BBC News

A survey shows that women are more likely to get pregnant while on vacation than at any other time. Part of the reason, of course, is that vacations are meant to be for fun. (Problem is, the ‘souvenir’ you bring home costs you a fortune for 20 years.)
– “Self Magazine”

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Gateway Vegetable’ – A palatable vegetable that encourages more adventurous vegetable consumption. (“Yeah, I know the broccoli seems harmless, son. But it could lead to kale!”)
• ‘Nail House’ – A house that remains in place while a development project proceeds around it, often because the owner of the house stubbornly refuses to sell to developers. (“We’re at number 2604. You can’t miss it; it’s the raised bungalow surrounded by 30-story condos.”)
• ‘Work Martyr’ – An employee who always works late, does not take vacations, and comes to work even when sick. (“She’s such a work martyr, she brought us all the gift of the flu.”)

Experts in the industry say that roller coasters are the key to success for amusement parks.  Whenever a park unveils a new coaster, it has one of its bigger seasons. (That’s ’cause you can sell the riders lunch … twice.)
– “Amusement Business”

The origins of some common terminology that first emerged in England …
● The Clink – The name of a prison which was on Clink Street in London. The reason it’s now used as slang for ‘jail’.
● Cutting Red Tape – Lawyers kept clients’ files in a folder tied with red ribbon to prevent them from falling out. When they wanted to get at them, they’d have to ‘cut through the red tape’.
● Getting Bombed – A ‘bombard’ was a leather jug which held 8 pints or 4 quarts. A full bombard of ale would certainly be enough to make you drunk.
● Son of a Gun – Sailors would take native women aboard ship and romance them between the cannons. Some women would give birth to boys, who were called ‘sons between the guns’.

Interesting findings from a new Tombola poll …
✓ 58% of us would comment if our besties put on a few pounds.
✓ 54% would tell our BFFs if we didn’t like their new hairstyle.
✓ But only 29% of us would tell our best friend about that their partner cheating.
(What topic between friends do you think should be verboten?)
– “Metro”

• You can be arrested for lying down in public in Honolulu, Hawaii.
– “The Guardian”
• More cocaine goes down the toilet in London UK than in any other city in Europe.
• The design of a park near Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport in The Netherlands is landscaped to cut down on noise pollution.
– “Smithsonian Magazine”
• New York City was the capital of the USA from 1785-90.


1921 [94] Prince Philip Mountbatten (Philippos Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderbert-Glucksburn, Prince of Greece), Corfu, Greece, Duke of Edinburgh & Mr Queen Elizabeth II since 1947

1965 [50] Elizabeth Hurley, Basingstoke UK, TV actress (‘Queen Helena’ on “The Royals” 2015, “Gossip Girl” 2011-12)/movie actress (“Austin Powers” films)/model (Estée Lauder)

1979 [36] Lee Brice, Sumter SC, country singer (“I Don’t Dance”, “I Drive Your Truck”)

1985 [30] Kreesha Turner, Edmonton AB, R&B-pop-dance singer-songwriter (“Keep Running the Melody”, “Don’t Call Me Baby”)

1992 [23] Kate Upton, St Joseph MI, fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”, 100th anniversary “Vanity Fair” cover)/sometime movie actress (“The Other Woman”, “Tower Heist”)

2001 [14] Sasha (Natasha) Obama, Chicago IL, younger daughter of US president Barack Obama & first lady Michelle Obama

• “Ball Point Pen Day”, commemorating its 1943 invention by Lasalo Biro of Budapest, Hungary. During WW2, Britain’s Royal Air Force commissioned him to develop an instrument that could write under low atmospheric pressure at high altitude.

• “Iced Tea Day”, celebrating the favorite Summer cooler of millions. Tea is the world’s 2nd-most-popular beverage … after water.

• “World Pet Memorial Day”, in recognition of pets past and present, and the important role they play in our lives.

2005 [10] Action comedy “Mr & Mrs Smith” opens in movie theaters, the film in which Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie become a couple … both onscreen and off

2007 [08] Close to 12 million fans tune in for the final episode of “The Sopranos” on HBO

2004 [11] Legendary singer Ray Charles dies at age 73 in Beverly Hills CA (the bio-film “Ray” opens 4½ months later, starring Jamie Foxx in the title role)

2005 [10] Governor-General Adrienne Clarkson officially makes oldies singer Paul Anka an Officer of the Order of Canada

1935 [80] Alcoholics Anonymous is founded, in NYC

1979 [36] ‘World’s Largest Pastry’ is baked in Liestal, Switzerland … a 1,084-ft-long éclair (“And gimme a vat of coffee with that, please!”)

[Thurs] Corn on the Cob Day
[Thurs] Career Nurse Assistants Day
[Fri] Download Festival begins (Donington Park UK)
[Fri] Jerky Day
[Sat] World Bike Naked Day
[Sat] World Gin Day
This Week Is … Men’s Health Week
This Month Is … Potty Training Awareness Month


• When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
• If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
• If a mute kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
• What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
• Can we ever really know when our philosophy assignment is due?

Me and my recliner, we go WAY back.

If a beaver opens it’s mouth and smiles at you, what color will its front teeth be?
a. Red.
b. Orange. [CORRECT. They turn orange from the iron content in the food they eat.]
c. Black.
d. White, the same as ours.

☎ How did you meet your best friend?

• Bangladesh or Russia? [Bangladesh 158 million/Russia 146 million]
• Brazil or Japan? [Brazil 204 million/Japan 126 million]
• Britain or The Philippines? [UK 64 million/The Philippines 101 million]
• Ethiopia or Germany? [Ethiopia 90 million/Germany 81 million]
• France or Vietnam? [France 66 million/Vietnam 91 million]
• Indonesia or Mexico? [Indonesia 255 million/Mexico 121 million]
• Italy or Thailand? [Italy 60 million/Thailand 65 million]
– Sourced from

Question: According to NASA, a perfect one of THESE lasts 26 minutes.
Answer: Nap.

The problem with the gene pool is there is no lifeguard.

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