Tuesday, June 12, 2012                 Edition: #4763

100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
74-year-old comedian & stoner icon Tommy Chong has confirmed to CNN that he’s been diagnosed with prostate cancer, which he’s treating with ‘hemp oil and cannabis’ (mostly Maui Waui man, but it’s got some Labrador in it) . . . Singer-“American Idol” judge Jennifer Lopez is sporting a huge diamond, leading to speculation she’s engaged to boy-toy Casper Smart, but she’s shot down rumors with a blog post saying: “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got – no engagement!” (she’s still trying to get clearance from Family & Children’s Services) . . . Reality TV star Kim Kardashian reportedly surprised boyfriend Kanye West with a $750,000-Lamborghini for his birthday (we’re betting – like everything else in her bartered, contra-ed, and comp-ed life – she never paid a penny for it) . . . “Jersey Shore’s” favorite meatball, Deena Cortese, has been arrested by Seaside Heights PD for public intoxication, a source confirms to “Us Weekly” (at least 1 cast member getting busted while a new season is shooting has become de rigeur) . . . Brad Pitt thought he finished shooting “World War Z” last year, but that was before the studio decided to bring in “Lost” creator Damon Lindelof for ‘significant rewrites’ (BS translation: test audiences booed) . . . Meantime, rumors are flying that Angelina Jolie will be approached to direct the movie version of the gazillion-selling, steamy novel trilogy “Fifty Shades of Grey” (chances of her actually doing it – 0.0813%).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Eric Hutchinson (“Moving Up Living Down”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Earth, Wind & Fire (“The Greatest Hits”).
• Friars Club’s Entertainment Icon Award – Actor Tom Cruise becomes only the 4th to be presented with the award (alongside Hollywood legends Douglas Fairbanks, Cary Grant, and Frank Sinatra) at tonight’s Friars Foundation Gala at NYC’s Waldorf-Astoria hotel.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Goodie Mob (“Age Against the Machine”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jessie Baylin (“Little Spark”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Alejandro Escovedo (“Big Station”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Patti Smith (“Banga”).
• “NBA Finals” (ABC/TSN) – Miami @ Oklahoma City in Game 1 from Chesapeake Energy Arena.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Meiko (“The Bright Side”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• The Civil Wars – They’ve gone on temporary hiatus to give pregnant Joy Lynn Williams time to adjust to motherhood. But rest assured, they’ll be back. Quote: “We are working on a 2nd album. We keep writing new material. We’ll keep you posted on when it will come out.”
• Demi Lovato – Tonight she hits the road with a Summer tour that begins in Del Mar, California. Hot Chelle Rae and Owl City are the opening acts. (A B-lister has opening acts?)
• Jimmy Fallon – Today the “Late Night” host releases his 2nd comedy album, “Blow Your Pants Off”, primarily a collection of musical comedy bits and parodies from his NBC-TV show. Celeb cameos include Bruce Springsteen, Dave Matthews, Eddie Vedder, Justin Timberlake, and Paul McCartney.
• Lady Gaga – She suffered a concussion during a show in New Zealand on Sunday when a dancer accidentally hit her on the head with a pole. She finished the show and has scheduled no time off for recovery. (If it was the NFL, she’d be forced to sit on the bench.)
• Metric – Today they release the new album “Synthetica”. It’s the follow-up to their breakthrough 2009 album “Fantasies”.
• Radiohead – Frontman Thom Yorke has dropped a hint they’ll be involved in some sort of collaboration with rocker-producer Jack White. Quote: “A big thank-you to him, but we can’t tell you why. You’ll find out.”
• Rush – Today the Canadian prog-rockers’ 20th studio album, “Clockwork Angels”, is out. The concept album features drummer Neil Peart’s lyrics about a protagonist in a fictional steam-punk sci-fi world. A 33-city tour in support of the album is scheduled for this Fall.
• Usher – His 7th album, “Looking 4 Myself”, is released today. He says this one is ‘personal’, ‘emotional’, and ‘brings him in new directions’. (Guess the others were impersonal, unemotional and same old, same old.)

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:

• “Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): In this follow-up to 2007’s “Ghost Rider”, ‘Johnny Blaze’ is still struggling with his curse as Satan’s bounty hunter when he’s recruited by a secret sect of the church to save a young boy from the devil. Stars Nicolas Cage, Christopher Lambert, Idris Elba.
• “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” ( PG-13 Crime Thriller ): It’s elementary. The 2009 original grossed over $500 million worldwide, so now Robert Downey Jr & Jude Law are back to face arch-nemesis ‘Moriarty’ (“Mad Men’s” Jared Harris). Joining them are Rachel McAdams, Stephen Fry, and Noomi Rapace (star of the Swedish-made “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”).
• “Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Producer-director-writer-actor Tyler Perry plays a businessman jolted out of his mundane life when he meets a single mother who works on the cleaning crew in his office building. Co-stars Gabrielle Union, Thandie Newton, Eddie Cibrian.
• Also released today: “Brad Meltzer’s Decoded: Season 2” (TV Documentary); “Dog the Bounty Hunter: Taking It To the Streets” (Reality TV); “Entourage: The Complete 8th Season” (TV); “GCB: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Gene Simmons Family Jewels: Season 6” (Reality TV); “Missing: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); and “Too Big to Fail” (TV Movie).

SIGNATURE DRINKS OF FAVORITE TV CHARACTERS:

• ‘Nucky Thompson’ on “Boardwalk Empire” … Sidecar.
• ‘Tyrion Lannister’ on “Game of Thrones” … Red Wine.
• ‘Don Draper’ on “Mad Men” … Old Fashioned.
• ‘Brian Griffin’ on “Family Guy” … Martini.
• ‘Sterling Archer’ on “Archer” … Bloody Mary.
– Condensed from “Maxim”

NON-EXHIBITION:

‘Nothing’ will be on display today as London’s Hayward Gallery opens an exhibition of 50 ‘invisible’ works by famous artists. “Invisible Art About the Unseen 1957-2012” includes French artist Yves Klein, who pioneered invisible works in the late 1950s with his concept of ‘architecture of air’. Also not on view is Andy Warhol’s 1985 work “Invisible Sculpture”, an empty plinth on which he once briefly stood. “1000 Hours of Staring” is a blank piece of paper at which artist Tom Friedman stared at repeatedly for 5 years. And Friedman’s “Untitled (A Curse)” is also on display … an empty space that has been cursed by a witch. (Is this glass empty?)
– Telegraph.co.uk

TIPS FROM DADS:

Just in time for Fathers Day, a sampling a of advice one magazine’s readers remember getting from their dads …
✓ “You know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
✓ “If you ever have to shoot someone, make sure you empty the gun. That makes it look like you were scared.”
✓ “If it can’t be fixed with a pair of pliers and baling wire, it can’t be fixed.”
✓ “Don’t tell your mom.”
– “Make Magazine”

COOKING FANS:

Attention, gas stove owners! According to a new study, cooking on your back burners and turning on your exhaust fan can save you from cooking up more than just food. Gas stoves and ovens pollute the air with nasties like carbon monoxide, nitrous oxide, aldehydes, and other gases linked to nerve damage and respiratory irritation. The levels are generally low, but if you have poor kitchen ventilation, they can build up in your home over time and cause long-term health problems. You should also run your exhaust fan when you use your gas oven, as it will help remove anywhere from 60-to-90% of pollutants. (Great, something else to worry about.)
– “Men’s Health”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 67% of us think sleeping with the boss is taboo, regardless of gender.
• 56% of workers eat lunch in less than 15 minutes.
• 44% of workers have gained weight in their current job.
• 40% of women go shopping after breaking up with a boyfriend.
• 20% of those who get plastic surgery done are unhappy with the results.
• 5% of post-operative transsexuals experience regret.

BIONIC MAN:

Forget smartphones, how about a smart arm? Human cells capable of performing simple arithmetic could one day be implanted in your body as a biological computer to diagnose disease, administer drugs, or interface with electronic devices. Swiss researchers have recently created biological versions of digital circuits inside embryonic kidney cells that can add or subtract binary numbers. These are the most complex biological circuits ever created, and could form the building blocks of more advanced computer components. (Can we ditch bifocals?)
– NewScientist.com

WHAT HIS APARTMENT SAYS ABOUT HIM:

Interior decorator Jill Vegas, author of “Speed Decorating”, says these key decor items can tell you a ton about what a guy’s like …
✗ Neon Beer Sign(s) – He loves to have a good time and is always down to go out. But since he’s a party guy, he may not be ready for anything long-term.
✓ Giant TV – A wall-mounted TV above a white sectional couch and glass coffee table means he likes things clean and modern. That’s good, but he might be a little too minimalist for you.
✗ Old Sports Trophies – This guy hasn’t grown up yet. He’ll expect you to turn into his mother, and he’ll be emotionally unavailable because his maiden relationship is with her.
✓ Vintage Furniture – He loves his possessions and each one means something to him. When he finds something beautiful, he has to have it. Maybe that thing of beauty is you.
✗ Big Dark Leather Couches – This space-hogging furniture suggests he might not yet have enough room (literally) to fit you into his life.
✓ Dog Toys – He’s solid, down-to-earth, and wants his home to feel warm and inviting to you. If you see a guy like this with balance in his home, that means he’s ready to settle down.
– Adapted from “Cosmopolitan”

DID YOU KNOW?

There are more unmanned drones flying for the US Air Force than there are piloted aircraft.
– PopBitch.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.12.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1924 [88] George HW Bush, Milton MA, 41st US President (1989-93)/Dubya’s dad

1941 [71] Marv Albert (Aufrichtig), Brooklyn NY, TV sportscaster/’The Voice of Basketball’ (CBS, TNT)

1977 [35] Kenny Wayne Shepherd (Brobst), Shreveport LA, blues-rock guitarist/singer-songwriter (“Alive”, “Blue on Black”)

1979 [33] Robyn (Carlsson), Stockholm, Sweden, pop singer (“Dancing on My Own”, “With Every Heartbeat”)

1985 [27] Chris Young, Murfreesboro TN, country singer (“You”, “Tomorrow”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Crowded Nest Awareness Day”, recognizing the condition ‘Crowded Nest Syndrome’, the series of problems that occur when children who’ve moved out of the house move back in for either financial or emotional reasons.
NET: http://www.giftypedia.com/Crowded_Nest_Awareness_Day

• “Peanut Butter Cookie Day”, a good time to dig out Grandma’s famous recipe and bake up a dozen. Though peanut butter has been around since the time of the Aztecs, peanut butter cookies did not become a favorite until the early 1900s. And it wasn’t until 1932 that the iconic waffle-like fork marks were added to the top of peanut butter cookies.
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-peanut-butter-cookie-day

• “Red Rose Day”, an annual celebration of the most popular cut flower. Also one of the most expensive!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1992 [20] The sequel “Batman Returns” opens in movie theaters, starring Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, and Michelle Pfeiffer

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

2007 [05] Delcambre, Louisiana approves an ordinance setting a maximum penalty of 6 months in jail and a $500-fine for being caught … in saggy pants

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1952 [60] A cat named ‘Dusty’ gives birth to her record 420th kitten in Bonham, Texas

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Wed] Weed Your Garden Day
[Wed] Queen’s Official Birthday (UK)
[Thurs] Career Nurse Assistants Day
[Thurs] World Blood Donor Day
[Fri] “Rock of Ages”; “That’s My Boy”; “The Woman In the Fifth” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Credit Awareness Week
This Month Is … Dairy Alternative Month

BULL’S BITS


LESS POPULAR BOY SCOUT MERIT BADGES:
• Cryonically preserve and revive a sibling.
• Backpack across an IKEA in 4 days, surviving on meatballs, marinated herring, and lingonberry syrup.
• Design and build a scale model of a modern super-max prison. Test its security features by starting a lab mouse/hamster race war.
• Help an old lady write a scathing Yelp review about Sizzler’s lazy waiters.
• Collect 1,000 stamps without committing suicide.
• Immerse yourself in the customs of another civilization, become an honorary citizen, overthrow the leaders.
• Volunteer 50 hours feeding slam poets.
• Run 25 feet without stopping.
– Thanks to Jerry Renek.

BS PHONE STARTER:

☎ What’s the definition of cool today? (When the term emerged after WW2 the characteristics associated with ‘coolness’ included rebelliousness, emotional control, toughness, thrill-seeking, and doing things your own way. But a new University of Rochester study suggests for someone to be ‘cool’ today they must be likable, attractive, confident, successful, and nice to others.)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:

Which should give you a ballpark prediction of a child’s adult height?
a. Measure arm-span from fingertip to fingertip, multiply by 2.
b. Multiply the length of the left foot by the circumference of the head.
c. Add the parents’ total height in inches, divide by 2, then add 2 inches for a boy or subtract 2 inches for a girl. [CORRECT]
(Another method according to folklore: double the child’s height at age 2 to get adult height.)
– American Academy of Pediatrics

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I’m not a computer nerd! A techno-weenie, maybe.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: 5-out-of-10 women surveyed say they generally pay just over a hundred dollars for THIS.
Answer: A bathing suit.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.


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