Wednesday, June 12, 2013                 Edition: #5005


100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ Former “American Idol” boss Nigel Lythgoe recently announced that he and fellow executive producer Ken Warwick are leaving after 13 years of running the show. He tells E! Online the secret to saving the flailing program is to bring back original judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson, because they had chemistry. Quote: “You could be the greatest singer in the world but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be a good judge.” (Hello, Mariah!)
– ContactMusic.com
✳ It’s been almost 3 years since 52-year-old “Glee” star Jane Lynch & 44-year-old psychologist Lara Embry got married. They met at a fundraiser in 2009 and tied the knot in 2010 in Sunderland, Massachusetts. But it’s over now, Lynch confirming the split and asking for privacy. She’s currently starring in “Annie: The Musical” on Broadway. (You have to get a same-sex divorce somewhere where same-sex marriage is recognized.)
– People.com
✳ ‘Actress’ Amanda Bynes may be one step closer to realizing her rap star dream. Daniel Herman of Chinga Chang Records has confirmed he is looking to sign Bynes, saying: “Chinga Chang is the best place for her to do this because of my past experience with bringing pop and legitimate hip-hop together.” (BS translation: No one ever heard of Chinga Chang before … this might help.)
– PerezHilton.com
✳ 69-year-old former “Star Wars” actor Peter Mayhew (‘Chewbacca’) was heading home to Texas after attending the Denver Comic Con last week when he was halted by Transportation Security Administration officials for carrying … a light-saber-style cane. The TSA guards eventually agreed to give Mayhew a pass. (“C’mon Chewy, do that roar thing again for us …”)
–WENN.com
✳ And what’s the secret to the success of HBO’s uber-popular “Game of Thrones”? Writing? Nah. Action? Meh. It’s naked bosoms and behinds! A tally of the instances of nudity in the just-completed Season 3: Naked male chests (7); rear nudity (7); full-frontal nudity (8); naked female breasts (9); for a grand total of – tada! – 31 scenes of nudity. (Or 3 body parts per episode.)
– TheDailyBeast.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – A 1-hour special with Paul McCartney includes songs from his current “Out There!” tour and the new reissue of “Wings Over America”.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Classic rocker Bret Michaels.
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Mavis Staples (“One True Vine”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Lonely Island (“The Wack Album”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Coup (“Sorry to Bother You”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Oldies singer Darlene Love.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Goo Goo Dolls (“Magnetic”).
• “Stanley Cup Final” (CBC/NBC) – Game 1 from the United Center in Chicago.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Trace Adkins w/Colbie Caillat (“Love Will …”)
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – LeAnn Rimes (“Spitfire”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arcade Fire – Former LCD Soundsystem singer-musician James Murphy has agreed to help produce their follow-up to 2010’s “The Suburbs” and has been busy in the studio working on new tracks. Murphy retired LCD Soundsystem in 2011.
• Ciara – She got served with lawsuit papers … in the middle of a show. West Hollywood bar The Factory is suing, claiming she backed out of a scheduled June 7th appearance. The entire exchange was caught on camera, then posted online. (Even if you can’t sue ‘em, you can shame ‘em!)
• Kanye West – He claims he’s refusing to promote his new album by releasing a single to radio stations because he couldn’t care less about hitting sales targets, he only wants to make music for his fans. (So why not give it away then, Mr I-Don’t-Care?)
• Kings of Leon – Their new UK tour opens tonight and tomorrow at London’s O2 Arena before heading to Manchester Arena June 24-25. Their 6th album, “Mechanical Bull”, is due out September 24th.
• Nicki Minaj – She’s hoping her new ‘Nicki Minaj Collection’ of clothing at K-Mart stores will help boost women’s confidence, regardless of their body type. (Because nothing says self-esteem like shopping at K-Mart.)
• Toby Keith – “Drinks After Work” is the first single release from his as-yet-untitled album due later this year. No specific release date has been announced.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“This Is the End” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Based on a Seth Rogen-Jay Baruchel short film, celebrities are faced with the apocalypse while attending a party at actor James Franco’s house. Other stars playing themselves include Channing Tatum, Craig Robinson, Emma Watson, Michael Cera, Mindy Kaling, Paul Rudd, and Rihanna. All the characters are exaggerations of their public personae.
NET: http://www.thisistheend.com/site/

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 78% of women expect their man to know when they’re angry … even when they say everything is ‘fine’.
• 77% of men say that being a good father is important, compared to just 49% who say the same about having a successful career.
• 66% of us believe in the concept of ‘soul mates’.
• 49% of us admit we lie when we go to the doctor.
• 48% of men say they might fall in love at first sight vs just 28% of women.
• 3% of men have never owned a pet of any kind.

DOUGHNUTS GONE WILD:
• Celebrity chef Charlie Boghosian, widely known for weird, deep-fried concoctions sold at county fairs, has devised the ‘Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe’ (with cheese) for the San Diego County Fair in California. He sold over 1,000 in 2 days … at $7.95 apiece.
• Dunkin’ Donuts has rolled out a new ‘Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich’, a doughnut sliced open and stuffed with egg and bacon. Or ham. Or turkey.
• IHOP has introduced ‘Jelly Donut Pancakes’, buttermilk pancakes with raspberry filling, topped with glaze; more filling on the top and, of course, powdered sugar.
(All these concoctions are likely PR stunts aimed at getting our attention. Guess it worked.)
– Condensed from “USA Today”

A SEE-THROUGH APP:
Within a few years, smartphones could come equipped with a microchip that lets users peer through boxes, walls, and other objects. Rather than dangerous X-rays, the chip beams out waves in the harmless terahertz frequency, a little-used portion of the electromagnetic spectrum. Terahertz generators have historically been bulky, expensive affairs. But now Cal Tech researchers have succeeded in crafting terahertz-emitting silicon chips that are smaller than a dime. (Soon we can all pretend to be airport security personnel!)
– “Discover Magazine”

BS BUZZWORDS:
New cutting-edge vocab …
✓ ‘Boatel’ – A permanently-docked boat that is converted into a hotel. Allows you to stay beside the sea without getting your feet wet!
✓ ‘Kitchenalgia’ – Nostalgia for the homespun domesticity of the 1950s, which has led to a bit of a boom for retro retailers of vintage-style housewares.
✓ ‘Meat Fruit’ – A meat dish that is constructed to resemble a piece of fruit. “Time Out” recently picked a mandarin-shaped chicken liver parfait as 2013’s best restaurant dish in London.

HAPPIEST WOMEN:
Among college-educated women, there is no evidence of greater life satisfaction among those that achieve the double goal of combining a successful career with family life. A new analysis from the University of Chicago ranks the happiest women as …
1. Women with only a family.
2. Women with both a family and a career.
3. Women with a career only.
4. Women with neither.
– Sourced from “Boston Globe”

50 SHADES OF EMBARRASSED PINK:
What might become the most controversial novel of Summer 2013 is due in bookstores July 2nd. With biting humor and enough sexually graphic detail to make almost anyone blush, “Tampa” by Alissa Nutting follows a beautiful, married, 26-year-old middle-school teacher who unapologetically chronicles her seduction of one of her 14-year-old students. How spicy is it? The author has told her own mother she is absolutely forbidden to read it. (A gorgeous 20-something who lusts after prepubescent boys … that only happens in their dreams.)
– Cosmopolitan.com

BS AMAZING ANIMAL FACTS:
• Pelicans can swallow pigeons whole.
• Lionesses favor balder lions, with less of a hairy mane.
• Urban birds have developed a short, fast ‘rap style’ of singing, different from their rural counterparts.
– BBC.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 06.12.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1924 [89] George HW Bush, Milton MA, 41st US President (1989-93)/Dubya’s dad

1941 [72] Marv Albert (Aufrichtig), Brooklyn NY, longtime TV sportscaster (CBS, TNT)

1951 [62] Bun E (Brad) Carlos, Rockford IL, classic rock drummer (Cheap Trick-“The Flame”, “I Want You to Want Me”)

1979 [34] Robyn (Carlsson), Stockholm, Sweden, pop singer (“Dancing on My Own”, “With Every Heartbeat”)

1983 [30] Christine Sinclair, Burnaby BC, soccer player (Canadian national team captain, 2012 Olympic bronze medalist, Canadian Athlete Of the Year 2012)

1985 [28] Kendra Wilkinson, San Diego CA, reality TV personality (“Kendra on Top” since 2012, “Kendra” 2009-11, “The Girls Next Door” 2004-09)

1985 [28] Chris Young, Murfreesboro TN, country singer (“You”, “Tomorrow”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Automotive Service Professionals Day”, begun in 2005 by National Institute for Automotive Service Excellence to salute auto mechanics and others involved in the maintenance of vehicles. (An attempt to reverse the image of one of the least respected professions?)

• “Crowded Nest Awareness Day”, recognizing the condition ‘Crowded Nest Syndrome’, the series of problems that occur when children who’ve moved out of the house move back in for either financial or emotional reasons.
NET: http://www.giftypedia.com/Crowded_Nest_Awareness_Day

• “Jerky Day”, the 2nd annual observance celebrating the rich history, immense popularity, and nutritional benefits of dried meat snacks. In one poll, men picked jerky as ‘Best Road Snack’.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/c44hxoh

• “Peanut Butter Cookie Day”, a good time to dig out Grandma’s famous recipe and bake up a dozen. Though peanut butter has been around since the time of the Aztecs, peanut butter cookies did not become a favorite until the early 1900s.
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-peanut-butter-cookie-day

• “Red Rose Day”, an annual celebration of the most popular cut flower. Also one of the most expensive!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [10] Movie star Gregory Peck (“To Kill a Mockingbird”) dies at his LA home at age 87

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2007 [06] Town of Delcambre, Louisiana approves an ordinance setting a maximum penalty of 6 months in jail and a $500-fine for being caught … in saggy pants

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1952 [61] A cat named ‘Dusty’ gives birth to her record 420th kitten in Bonham, Texas

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Bonnaroo Music Festival begins (Manchester TN)
[Thurs] Songwriters Hall of Fame Induction (NYC)
[Thurs] Nurse Assistants Day
[Fri] “Man of Steel” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] World Gin Day
[Sun] Fathers Day
This Week Is … Credit Awareness Week
This Month Is … Dairy Alternative Month

BULL’S BITS


FATHERS’ SAYINGS DEBUNKED:
Dads offer up a lot of wise words and sage advice, but here are a few questionable things you might have heard from dad …
✗ “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” [Fact is, yes it does. Until very recently, almost every denomination bill of almost every currency has been printed on paper made from trees.]
✗ “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” [Fact is, who’s making huge profits these days? Banks ... borrowers and lenders!]
✗ “Go ask your mom.” [Fact is, we did already and she said no. That’s why we’re asking you.]
✗ “Close the door behind you, we’re not heating the whole outside.” [Fact is, we are. The mere presence of humans on Earth has increased the mean temperature by 10 degrees in the last 200 years.]
✗ “It wasn’t me, it was the dog.” [Fact is, it wasn’t the dog.]
– Adapted from BennyDesk.com

REAL BUT REALLY STUPID FATHERS DAY GIFTS AVAILABLE ON LINE:
• ‘Hair Dye For Bald Men’ … $5.45
• ‘Giggling Golf Ball’ … $9.99
• ‘Look Taller Shoe Lifts’ … $4.99
• ‘The Beer Belly Flask’ … $32.99
• ‘Stick-On Meat Tattoos’ … $6.99
• ‘Skid-Out Skid Mark & Stain Remover’ … $5.99
• ‘Brass Knuckles Beer Koozie’ … $9.99
• ‘Camo Toilet Paper’ … $4.99 a roll.
• ‘Emergency Underpants Dispenser’ … $7.99
• ‘Inflatable Toupee’ … $4.99
NET: http://www.stupid.com/funny-fathers-day-gifts.html

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ If you could choose any musical artist – from any era – to play at your birthday party, which would you choose?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which is officially considered an ‘art form’ in Norway?
a. Shouting.
b. Shopping.
c. Stripping. [CORRECT]
– Magazine Monitor

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Morning has broken. Quick, call the repairman!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to Cornell University research, ice cream is the #1 ‘comfort food’ for women; and THIS is tops for men.
Answer: Soup.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A clean desk is the sign of a cluttered desk drawer.


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