Tuesday, June 13, 2017 – Edition: #5995

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ The private plane Jennifer Lawrence was travelling on was forced to make an emergency landing on Saturday. Lawrence was flying from her hometown of Louisville, Kentucky, where she had been visiting family, when one of the plane’s engines shut down.  Despite the drama, a rep for the star reports that JLaw emerged unscathed from the incident. (A lot more drama on that plane than on her 120-year flight in ‘Passengers’!)
★ Jessica Chastain has tied the knot. The ‘Interstellar’ star wed Italian fashion executive Gian Luca Passi de Preposulo in his home country on Saturday. Jessica and Gian began dating in 2012. Before their Saturday wedding, Chastain had been reluctant to speak about their relationship, preferring to keep details of their love life private.
(A lot more drama in that relationship than with Ben Stiller in ‘Madagascar 3′!)
★ Things continue to look up for Amanda Bynes. It’s been was revealed the once-troubled actress has regained control of her finances. The revelation came just after the 31-year-old sat down for her first television interview in four years, when she announced that she is three years sober.
★ Gwyneth Paltrow brought her website to life at ‘Goop Event’ in Culver City, California. There were organic paleo wraps and matcha smoothies, crystal readings and aura photography, hydrating IV drips and an “oxygen bar,” $72 aromatherapy candles and $90 vitamin packs, plus lectures on gut health, mothering, self-help and sexual awareness: It was called by some “Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop website come to life”.
(Gives me chills.  Literally.)
-CTV News
★ U.S. President Trump interrupted his golf weekend at Trump National Golf Club in New Jersey   to surprise a bride and groom who tied the knot at his club. Trump’s been a fixture at the club over the years and has marketed wedding crashing in his brochures, saying, “If he (Trump) is on-site for your big day, he will likely stop in & congratulate the happy couple. He may take some photos with you, but we ask you and your guests to be respectful of his time and privacy.”
(And then if you’re really lucky, he’ll Tweet about you and call you a ‘loser’!)
★ What does Prince William call Kate in the privacy of their castle?  The Duchess of Cambridge has more names than you might be aware.  Ever since she married Prince William in 2011, Kate has been formally known as the Duchess of Cambridge. She is also, on occasion, referred to by her maiden name; Kate Middleton.  However, the public rarely call the royal figure by her actual name: Catherine.  Catherine only became Kate when she began studying at the University of St Andrew’s.  And now it can be revealed: Prince William still calls his wife Catherine.
-Yahoo Style

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): TBA
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Mark Wahlberg, Heidi Klum, Lady Antebellum
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Olivia Wilde, Eddie Izzard, Nick Cave
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kate McKinnon, Brian Tyree Henry, Janet Mock, Eric Moore
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jane Krakowski, Kate Mara, Lily James, Iggy Azalea
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Sanaa Lathan, Tennis System, Reid Scott ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Selenis Leyva
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Pauly Shore, Mike Lawrence, Marcella Arguello
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Holly Hunter, Natasha Lyonne, Robert Cray & Hi Rhythm
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Laura Prepon, Anthony Michael Hall
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kerry Washington, Newt Gingrich
• “The Talk” (CBS): Salma Hayek
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kate McKinnon, Uzo Aduba
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Tom Hanks ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Demetrius Shipp Jr.
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Taye Diggs, Skylar Astin, Danny Seo ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): The Best of Girl Chat ( R )
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Auditions 3” Contestants of all ages audition for the chance to win the $1 million prize.
• “World of Dance” (NBC): “The Qualifiers 3” Elite dance acts from all ages and dance genres enter the arena to showcase their talents.

• Sheryl Crow – says she  would love to have the ‘Pink Panther Theme’ played at her funeral. She jokes that she wants the soundtrack to the 1963 movie to be played when she is laid to rest… before admitting that hymn ‘Morning Has Broken’ would be a more suitable choice.
• Katy Perry – has extended an olive branch to Taylor Swift.  Perry says she is ready to let it go “Absolutely. One hundred percent. I forgive her and I’m sorry for anything I ever did, and I hope the same from her”.  (Is that because at this point, Katy has had the last word?)
• Britney Spears – is reportedly a victim of hackers. A report has surfaced that says that hackers used Spears’ Instagram comment section to communicate covert malware instructions.
• 2 Chainz – was all geared up for a listening party for his new ‘Pretty Girls Like Trap Music’ album when the police pulled the plug.  The event – featuring record executives, music writers and friends in the hip-hop community, was closed after 15 minutes due to lack of a permit.
• Rascal Flatts – Lauren Alaina is the only guest vocalist on Rascal Flatts‘ new album, ‘Back to Us’. The singer joins the Flatts’ for the heartbreaking duet “Are You Happy Now,” a song that Alaina admits she was terrified to attempt. She says she didn’t know the band prior to recording and reports she was “scared to death” in the studio.
• Lady Antebellum – feature horns on a song for the first time on their new album, ‘Heart Break’.  Charles Kelly says that the bass riff on ‘You Look Good’ was so funky that horns fit right in.  Having horns on an Antebellum song has been a dream for singer Hillary Scott for some time.
• Carrie Underwood – and Brad Paisley will be returning for the 10th time to host The 51st Annual CMA Awards on Nov. 8.

Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers…for help, ask your 8-year old nephew.
• “John Wick: Chapter 2” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): After returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life. (Keanu Reeves, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ian McShane)
• “The Lego Batman Movie” (PG, Comedy/ Family):  A cooler-than-ever Bruce Wayne must deal with the usual suspects as they plan to rule Gotham City, while discovering that he has accidentally adopted a teenage orphan who wishes to become his sidekick. (Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Rosario Dawson)
• “Dragonheart: Battle for the Heartfire” (PG-13, Science Fiction/Fantasy): A dragon known as Drago tries to end the rivalry between a brother and sister, who both have dragon-like powers and   are after the throne of their grandfather.  And a new threat steals Drago’s source of power. (Patrick Stewart, Tom Rhys Harries)
• “Table 19” (PG-13, Comedy): Eloise, having been relieved of maid of honor duties after being unceremoniously dumped by the best man via text, decides to attend the wedding anyway, only to find herself seated with five fellow unwanted guests at the dreaded Table 19. (Anna Kendrick, Lisa Kudrow, Craig Robinson)
• “3 Generations” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama): After Ray decides to transition from female to male, his mother, Maggie, must come to terms with the decision while tracking down Ray’s biological father to get his legal consent. (Naomi Watts, Elle Fanning, Susan Sarandon)
• “Mine” (Not Rated, Mystery/Suspense): After a failed assassination attempt, a soldier finds himself stranded in the desert. Exposed to the elements, he must survive the dangers of the desert and battle the psychological and physical tolls of the treacherous conditions. (Armie Hammer, Annabelle Wallis, Tom Cullen)

After all these years of TV shows exposing psychics as frauds and your practical friends telling you not to waste your money on all that clairvoyance or ‘medium’ stuff, comes this:  Scientists are now telling us that there is a part of our brain that can predict the future. In an experiment, people were made to watch a white dot move across a screen, repeated several times. Then the participants would be shown the same white dot, but would not move it across the screen.  Despite it not moving, researchers noticed that the visual cortex was still showing the same pattern of activity as though the dot were moving. Put simply, the brain had learnt from its previous experience and was predicting what would happen next. Scientists believe our brain constantly predicts events happening all around us on a daily basis, such as the rotating arms of a windmill, or how to catch the ball that is moving towards us.
(They said we could predict the future, not that we could predict the future CORRECTLY!)
(Great.  How does this help me win the lottery?)
(Sure, I can predict the future.  This weekend there will be rain and a devastating headache on Sunday morning!)
-Huffington Post

The Top 20 Global Concert Tours ranked according to artists by average box office gross per city (including the average ticket price for shows Worldwide:
1. Drake; $1,959,318; $90.37.
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers; $1,391,503; $88.62.
3. Bon Jovi; $1,389,061; $87.24.
4. Elton John ; $1,289,990; $101.74.
5. The Weeknd; $1,263,162; $71.38.
6. Olly Murs; $1,088,455; $60.17.
7. Tim McGraw / Faith Hill; $1,083,830; $86.98.
8. John Mayer; $1,047,122; $76.00.
9. Iron Maiden; $992,591; $71.07.
10. Eric Church; $904,531; $60.92.
11. Ariana Grande; $868,743; $74.71.
12. Stevie Nicks; $843,404; $94.60.
13. Kings Of Leon; $727,654; $63.74.
14. Blake Shelton; $723,045; $62.11.
15. Green Day; $692,317; $60.08.
16. Journey; $662,910; $86.64.
17. Chance The Rapper; $644,252; $55.32.
18. Jerry Seinfeld; $562,301; $97.48.
19. Twenty One Pilots; $551,599; $48.16.
20. Jack Whitehall; $539,652; $40.01.

Some like their coffee black.  Some like it with a pile of cream and sugar. Others like the weird, fancy, flavored concoctions.  But I’m not sure if anyone is going to like this: Baristas around the world are experimenting with hiding vegetables in coffee drinks.  Was that a gagging sound I just heard?  After some reports last month of a café in Australia serving coffee in hollowed-out avocados, now comes this weird idea: Actual vegetables served in your latte.  Some of the ideas floated so far: Carrots.  Bell peppers.  Tomatoes.  Even Apples.  Now before you go and decide that you need to be ahead of the curve and order up a tray of these for the gang at the office, please know that even the cafes where they are being tried admit that they aren’t going over too well.  Although there is the curiosity factor, most agree that this is not something that should be happening.
(What they need is a cool name for this.  Like veglatte.  Or grappe.  Whoop.  That’s a fruit.)
(Does this make coffee even better for me?)
(If I wanted veggies, I’d ask for veggies!)



1953 [64] Tim Allen (Dick), Denver CO, TV actor (‘Mike Baxter’ on “Last Man Standing” since 2011, “Home Improvement” 1991-99)/movie actor (“Toy Story” films, “Santa Clause” movies)

1962 [55] Ally Sheedy, New York, NY, movie actress (The Breakfast Club” “St. Elmos’s Fire”)

1970 [47] Rivers Cuomo, Yogaville CT, alt-rock singer-guitarist (Weezer-”Pork & Beans”, “Beverly Hills”)

1981 [36] Chris Evans, Boston MA, movie actor (“Captain America” films, “Avengers” films)

1986 [31] Kat Dennings, Philadelphia PA, TV actress (‘Max Black’ on “2 Broke Girls” since 2011)

1986 [31] Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Sherman Oaks CA, twins who co-run a billion-dollar consumer-goods company/former actresses (“Full House” 1987-95)

• “Kitchen Klutzes Day”, celebrating not-so-accomplished cooks by encouraging them to prepare a recipe that contains no more than 4 ingredients, not including water, salt & pepper. (Umm, does ketchup count?)

• “Weed Your Garden Day” … or maybe you could just start referring to it as a ‘wildflower display’?

• “Sewing Machine Day”, Thomas Saint patented the first sewing machine in 1790. Since then, the sewing machine has become one of the iconic symbols of the Industrial Revolution. (Any idea how to work one of those things?)

• “Pet Memorial Day”, recognizing the importance of memorializing our cherished pets.

[Wed] Family History Day
[Wed] Bourbon Day
[Wed] Strawberry Shortcake Day
[Thurs] Global Wind Day
[Thurs] Lobster Day
[Thurs] Nature Photography Day

2005 [12] After a sensational 16-week trial in Los Angeles, Michael Jackson is found innocent of child molestation charges

2015 [02] Queen Elizabeth II officially celebrates her 89th birthday with a Trooping the Color ceremony and knights actor Kevin Spacey and singer Van Morrison as part of the celebration

1995 [22] Alanis Morissette released her classic album “Jagged Little Pill.”  It has sold more than 30 million copies worldwide.

2006 [11] Heather Mills, ex-model and estranged wife of Paul McCartney, announces her intention to divorce the billionaire musician, which eventually costs him a reported $50 million (money well spent, right Paul?) (Yet he is still ranked as the richest musician in the world)

2008 [09] A Chicago jury acquits R. Kelly of all 14 charges of child pornography against him


• Gorillas can catch human colds and other illnesses.
• Ostriches can run faster than horses, and the males can roar like lions.
• A lion in the wild usually makes no more than twenty kills a year.
• The female lion does ninety percent of the hunting.
• On average, dogs have better eyesight than humans, although not as colorful.
• Deer have no gall bladders.
• Almost half the pigs in the world are kept by farmers in China.

Highlight bits culled from 24 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …

• “The Cooler Croozer” … A chrome cooler on a go-cart frame that zooms up to 40 mph.
• “Referee Bop Bag” … A blow-up ‘zebra’ you can punch out after a bad call.
• “Bar Stool Racer” … With this motorized bar stool you can drink & drive … immediately.
• “Sigmund Freud Action Figure” … Presumably the couch is extra.
• “XL Beer Glass” … Holds 5 beers, but you can honestly tell your partner you only had 1 drink.
• “The Daiquiri Whacker Gas-Powered Blender” … so you can make cocktails while camping.
– First published in “BS” 2006.

☎What new business do you think would benefit the community?

What does the word ‘karate’ mean when translated from Japanese?
a. self defense
b. empty hand (CORRECT)
c. empty pocket
d. bad lip synching

Do today’s kids build tree condos?

Question: 74% of women say this makes a guy more attractive.
Answer: When she drinks alcohol

There’s more to the truth than just the facts.

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