Thursday, June 14, 2012        Edition: #4765

100% Grade A Bull!

A rep for Alyson Hannigan has confirmed  to “People” mag the “How I Met Your Mother” actress gave birth to a healthy baby daughter named ‘Keeva’ (?!?!?) back on May 23rd (‘cause nobody asked, dammit!) . . . Actress Portia De Rossi (Mrs Ellen DeGeneres) has signed to star in a ‘reinvention’ of the popular 1960s TV show “The Munsters”, to be titled “Mockingbird Lane” (NBC), playing family matriarch ‘Lily Munster’ (sure hope it’s better than that “Addams Family” movie) . . . Elizabeth Arden Inc has purchased the fragrance licenses of both Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj from Give Back Brands LLC in order to build up its ‘celebrity portfolio’ (Biebs is set to release a 2nd perfume, ‘Girlfriend’, next week) . . . Russell Brand tells Brit TV host Lorraine Kelly (ITV) that divorce from Katy Perry has been really difficult due to – all the paperwork (what a sensitive guy) . . . Andy Samberg may quit “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), but he says working on the comedy film “That’s My Boy” alongside Adam Sandler was a ‘lifelong dream’ (now there’s a legacy: “I was in an Adam Sandler film once) . . . And Henry Hill, the Mafia mobster whose life story inspired the 1990 Martin Scorsese film “Goodfellas”, has reportedly passed away at age 69 after a lengthy battle with an ‘undisclosed illness’ (yeah, it’s called ‘snitching’).


• Bama Jam 2012 – Tonight this annual 3-day music festival in Enterprise, Alabama gets underway with a line-up that includes Eric Church, Kid Rock, Tim McGraw, and Zac Brown Band.
• “The Choice” (FOX/CTV2) – Pop singer Joe Jonas; snowboarder Seth Wescott; radio personality Mike Catherwood; actor Parker Young look for dates.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Temper Trap (“The Temper Trap”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – We Are Augustines (“Rise Ye Sunken Ships”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Dukes of September (Donald Fagen, Michael McDonald, and Boz Scaggs).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Elizabeth Cook (“Gospel Plow”).
• “NBA Finals 2012” (ABC/TSN) – Game 2 from Chesapeake Energy Arena in Oklahoma City.
• Los Angeles Film Festival – The 18th annual 10-day fest will screen over 200 features, shorts, and music videos from over 30 countries. It opens tonight with the North American premiere of Woody Allen’s latest, “To Rome with Love”, starring Alec Baldwin, Penelope Cruz, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page, and Allen himself.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – We Are Augustines (“Rise Ye Sunken Ships”).


• Carrie Underwood – The title track of her latest album “Blown Away” will be her next single, releasing in July. It’s already been downloaded nearly 200,000 prior to its official shipment as an airplay single. A trailer of the upcoming video is now available online.
• John Mellencamp – Tonight his “No Better Than This” tour kicks off with a 15-city Canadian leg starting in Penticton BC.
• The Killers – They’re still eyeing a Fall release date for their 4th album, “Battle Born”, but by no means is the project finished. They’ve been working diligently in their Las Vegas studio 5-days-a-week from noon-to-midnight for an entire year.
• No Doubt – Their new album finally has a name, “Push and Shove”, due September 25th. The first single, “Settle Down”, will make its debut July 16th. They’re filming the video this week.
• Toby Keith – Tonight the “Toby Keith Live In Overdrive Tour” begins in Salt Lake City, Utah. Brantley Gilbert is the opening act.
• Van Halen – Eddie Van Halen denies his reunited band is cutting their North American tour short because of a feud with singer David Lee Roth. He claims it’s simply a matter of fatigue and a feeling they’ve taken on too much. The trek’s final gig is in New Orleans on June 26th.


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Blade Runner 2” – Director Ridley Scott is set to make a follow-up to his 1982 sci-fi thriller and wants the original star, 69-year-old Harrison Ford, to make a cameo appearance. The original screenwriter, Hampton Fancher, has also been lined up to pen the new script, which will focus on a female protagonist.
• “The Counselor” – Ridley Scott’s other current project has been penned by famed author Cormac McCarthy (his 1st film script) and stars Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who decides to get ‘a little bit’ involved in the drug biz, only to discover there is no way to do that. Javier Bardem co-stars as a dealer, with Cameron Diaz as his ‘hyper-sexualized Argentinean’ girlfriend.
• “Mad Max 4: Fury Road” – The 4th film in the futuristic series begun in 1979  is set to start shooting this Summer after a 2-year delay. Charlize Theron has prepared for her role as ‘Furiosa’ by shaving her head. Theron has been attached to the project since 2009 and says she can’t wait to team up with star Tom Hardy on the set.
• “Robocop” – A reboot of the classic 1987 sci-fi thriller may feature Hugh Laurie (star of FOX-TV’s “House” 2004-12) as the chief villain, the CEO of ‘Omni Corp’ who creates the man-turned-machine for his own gain. Joel Kinnaman is set to play the cop, ‘Alex Murphy’, who is turned into a cyborg crime-fighter. Filming kicks off in Toronto this September.


More and more of the world’s wealthy have switched from buying fancy things to buying luxury experiences, according to a new study by the Boston Consulting Group. Neurologically speaking, experts say they’re on the right track: Research shows that good experiences tend to make us happy. More than half of all luxury spending worldwide now goes toward luxury experiences, making up $770 billion out of the $1.4 trillion luxury spending market, according to the BCG report. (If money were no object, what would you most want to experience?)


✓ You listened to radio all day long just to record your favorite song … on tape.
✓ You know the “Macarena” by heart.
✓ You kept doing it over and over, because your AOL profile had to be perfect.
✓ You owned the entire “Goosebumps” book series.
✓ You had a ‘Tamagotchi’ and brought it everywhere with you … so it wouldn’t die.
✓ Everyone in the lunchroom wanted your ‘DunkAroos’.
✓ All the cool kids wore ‘Ring Pops’.
✓ Getting a ‘Walkman’ was one of the best days of your life.
✓ You’ll also never forget your first ‘Boombox’.
✓ You collected every ‘Beanie Baby’ you could get your hands on, assured they’d be worth a fortune someday.

For a growing number of foodies and restaurateurs, what’s on the playlist is almost as important as what’s on the menu. Custom playlists that pair tunes to tastes – created by restaurateurs themselves or by companies like LA’s Playlist Generation – are becoming de rigueur in the food industry as more chefs and their customers seek dining experiences that are harmonious and hip at every turn. Studies show that slow tempo music during dinner can increase bar sales by over 40%, while faster music can boost lunch-hour sales. (Playing Bieber can increase seating availability … by making people leave.)
– AP


• It’s a case of long-distance intervention. A British man visiting Turkey was talking to his wife at their home in Essex, England via webcam when she was called away momentarily. However, the Internet connection remained on and the man was stunned to see 2 burglars in his hallway. He screamed, “Get out of my house, I’m calling the police!” The terrified pair fled empty-handed.
• Should bank robbers tip? A woman has just been sentenced to 13 years in federal prison for robbing a Chase bank in Dallas last year. She wore sunglasses, carried a dark plastic bag, and handed a note to employees that read: “Ima shoot you geme money.” A frightened teller handed over $3,900 in cash. The woman handed back a stack of Mexican pesos, apparently as a tip.
– “Dallas Evening News”
• Is this the world’s most casual robber? A laid-back man in Manchester, England has walked away from a news agent with trash bags filled with cigarettes and tobacco after holding up the store with … a cup of coffee. Police have released CCTV security footage of the robber calmly asking the shop assistant to comply while standing at the till holding a cup of black coffee.
– “Warwick Weekly Trader”
• He threw the book at her! Pasco County, Florida cops have arrested a man after his partner flagged down a passing deputy and complained she’d been struck in the back of the head by an unidentified object while taking out the trash. It seems the man got ticked off when the woman continued to yell at him, so he threw the first thing that came to hand at her … his Bible.


A new mobile phone app will prepare users for receiving good or bad news on their phones. Created by a team from the University of Portsmouth’s School of Computing, the app distinguishes good messages from bad and neutral ones, and color-codes them accordingly. Users may choose not to open negative messages if they are already having a stressful day. The application works by learning from past messages how the user perceives content as being positive, negative, or objective. (Code Red! Code Red! It’s your ex!)
– BBC News


Only 2 countries retain the definite article in front of their names in English … The Bahamas and The Gambia. (We’d like The Chile.)
– “Magazine Monitor”


1946 [66] Donald Trump, NYC, TV reality show host (“The [Celebrity] Apprentice” since 2004)/real estate billionaire (Trump Tower/Plaza/Castle)/author (“The Art Of the Deal”)

1961 [51] Boy George (George O’Dowd), Eltham UK, oldies singer (Culture Club-“Do You Really Want to Hurt Me”, “Karma Chameleon”)/currently working as a club DJ

1969 [43] Steffi Graf, Mannheim, Germany, retired tennis player who won 21 Grand Slam singles titles and earned over $20 million/Mrs Andre Agassi since 2001

1988 [24] Kevin McHale, Plano TX, TV actor (wheelchair-bound ‘Artie Abrams’ on “Glee” since 2009)


• “American Flag Day”, commemorating John Adams’ 1777 recommendation to Congress that the ‘Stars & Stripes’ be adopted as America’s flag. Pennsylvania is the only US state to celebrate today as a legal holiday.

• “Career Nurse Assistants Day”, the beginning of the 35th annual “Nursing Assistants Week”, to recognize the professionals who have dedicated their lives to the well-being of others.

• “Family History Day”, a day to ‘share the folklore, legends and myths of your own particular family tree’.

• “Strawberry Shortcake Day”. Here’s how it’s made: Sliced strawberries are mixed with sugar and allowed to sit an hour or so. Shortcakes are split, the bottoms covered with a layer of strawberries, juice, and whipped cream, often flavored with sugar and vanilla. Mmm, bring it on!

• “World Blood Donor Day”, the 7th annual dedicated to thanking and celebrating voluntary blood donors around-the-globe. It occurs on the birthday of Karl Landsteiner, the creator of the A-B-O blood grouping system, for which he won the Nobel Prize in 1930.


2002 [10] “The Bourne Identity”, featuring the famous Mini Cooper chase scene, opens in movie theaters


2002 [10] (Sir) Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones is made a knight by Queen Elizabeth II


1922 [90] Warren G Harding becomes the 1st US president to be heard on radio, while addressing a crowd at the dedication of a memorial site


1997 [15] A 1939 comic book that features the debut of “Batman” is auctioned in NYC for $68,500


[Fri] Wallenda tightrope-walks Niagara Falls
[Fri] “Rock of Ages”; “That’s My Boy”; “The Woman In the Fifth” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Flip Flops Day
[Fri] Work @ Home Fathers Day
[Sat] World Juggling Day
[Sun] Fathers Day
[Mon] Ride Your Motorcycle to Work Day
This Week Is … Meet a Mate Week
This Month Is … Camping Month


✓ Only take up one space. Yeah, yeah, we get it. Your pristine Kia Sorrento might lose its re-sale value if someone or something scratches your car.
✓ If other people are waiting for your spot, move it. Honestly, unless Sophia Vergara just sexted you, abstain from reading your emails and texts and drive! We’d like to park and eat lunch.
✓ Make sure your car realistically fits into the space. We have to open the door to get in our car. After forcing your Mack truck between us and a Prius, we’ll just have to wait until you get back.
✓ Walk your shopping cart back to the corral. Take the extra 20 steps and get some cardio. The cart you just left in that perfectly good parking spot serves as a beacon for your ass-holery.
✓ Leave a note on the windshield of all poorly parked cars. You are obligated to make the note both humorous and threatening.


☎ Should airports provide entertainment? Dalian International Airport in China recently recruited a squad of cheerleaders to perform kicks, jumps, and splits in the airport’s main hall. An airport official says the show ‘soothed emotion and alleviated fatigue’ and confirms it’s just part of the airport’s effort to ‘bring more convenience to passengers in the Summer-Autumn air season’.


Guess the fathers of the following entertainers …
• Actress Bryce Dallas Howard (director Ron Howard).
• Actor Colin Hanks (actor Tom Hanks).
• Actress Emma Roberts (actor Eric Roberts).
• “Blind Side” actress Lily Collins (classic rocker Phil Collins).
• “Star Trek” actor Chris Pine (former “CHiPs” actor Robert Pine).
• “X-Men” actress Zoe Kravitz (rocker Lenny Kravitz).
• “The Hangover: Part 2” actor Mason Lee (Oscar-winning director Ang Lee).
• “Saturday Night Live” cast member Abby Elliott (comedian and former “SNLer” Chris Elliott, whose daddy is Bob Elliott, one-half of the legendary comedy duo, Bob & Ray).
– QMI Agency


I call things as I see them. Otherwise, I make them up.


Question: A recent survey shows that THIS is the thing most people find best relieves stress at the end of the day.
Answer: Seeing the family.


Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

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