Wednesday, June 14, 2017 – Edition: #5996

100% Grade A Bull!

★ Miranda Kerr has undergone a ”leech facial”.  The 34-year-old model – who has six-year-old son ‘Flynn’ with her former partner Orlando Bloom – has admitted she has undergone the unusual skincare treatment to keep her skin looking youthful, and she has even kept the leeches used in the procedure in her pond because she didn’t want the blood-sucking creatures to be killed after the procedure.  Apparently leeches used in facial treatments cannot be reused.
(You’ve REALLY got to want to look young….)
★ It seems that Donald Trump once had a thing for Salma Hayek.  Way before he landed his wife Melania, he tried to ask Hayek out through a series of phone calls.  That’s according to the actress herself, who talked about Trump’s attempts on ‘The Daily Show’.  Hayek says this occurred about three years ago, despite the fact that she did have a boyfriend at the time.
(Best judgement he’s ever displayed…)
★ Cameron Diaz has revealed why she is taking a break from Hollywood.  She hasn’t been in a movie since 2014’s musical ‘Annie’, and says she stepped out of the spotlight because she didn’t know who she was anymore and needed to make herself ‘whole’.  She says she is enjoying spending time with her husband Benji Madden.
(Come back whenever you are ready, Cameron….just don’t make a movie like ‘Bad Teacher ever again!)
★ Original “Mary Poppins” star Dick Van Dyke says he is certain the sequel, ‘Mary Poppins Returns’, starring Emily Blunt, will be a hit.  Van Dyke appears in a scene with the old banker (whom he  played in the original movie) as his son.  Van Dyke says he gets up on a desk and does a song and dance number in his cameo. Yes, at the age of 91.  After facing much mockery for his British accent in the original, he used a dialect coach this time around.
(He plays his original character’s son? And dances on a desk?  Dude’s getting younger, not older!)
★ Lindsay Lohan has been cleared of theft allegations.  Her ex-fiancé Egor Tarabasov had accused her of taking possession of a number of valuable items that he left at Lohan’s London pad last summer after a major fight between the two.  Months later he called the police claiming Lohan stole his property, including a Rolex watch and up to $30,000 worth of other items.  The matter was resolved after police contacted the star and the property was recovered and returned.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jamie Foxx, Trace Adkins
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Miley Cyrus
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Trevor Noah, Ilana Glazer, Sam Richardson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Taylor Schilling, Jim O’Heir, Lizzy Goodman, Eric Moore
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Fred Armisen, Tituss Burgess, Edgar Wright, Gavin DeGraw
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Jonah Ray, Bonobo, JD Dillard ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Vince Staples
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Wayne Brady, Greg Proops, Beth Dover
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Judd Apatow, Tom Papa
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Luann D’Agostino, Jill Zarin
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kim Kardashian West
• “The Talk” (CBS): Natasha Lyonne, Big Boy, guest co-host Vanessa Williams
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Taylor Schilling, Sabrina Carpenter
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV):Kendall Jenner, Ricky Martin ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Ali Wentworth
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV):Chris Messina, Keith Carradine ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Charlie McDermott, Eden Sher, Atticus Shaffer, guest co-host J.B. Smoove ( R )

• Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is Forbes magazine’s Highest-Paid Entertainer of 2017.  Diddy raked in an impressive $130 million in the past year, mainly due to him selling a third of his Sean John clothing line for an estimated U.S. $70 million. The rest of the top 10:
2. Beyoncé – $105m
3. JK Rowling – $95m
4. Drake – $94m
5. Cristiano Ronaldo – $93m
6. The Weeknd – $92m
7. Howard Stern – $90m
8. Coldplay – $88m
9. James Patterson – $87m
10. LeBron James – $86m
(Somewhere, Mick Jagger is throwing a tantrum and plotting a tour and another live DVD…)

• The Weeknd – says he treats his albums ”like films”.  He calls it ‘visual candy’ and thinks of it as something more like cinema, his ”first true love”.
• Led Zeppelin – The Model T Ford formerly owned by late drummer John Bonham – and featured prominently in the Led Zeppelin movie, ‘The Song Remains the Same’ – is up for sale online.
• Radiohead – guitarist Jonny Greenwood says that he has “always hated guitar solos.” He says that comes from the fact that the band in its early years always distrusted anything that was successful, and that included bands that did guitar solos.
(And that leaves….ummmm…Radiohead?)
• Lorde – isn’t a big fan of being famous.  “You don’t win by being really famous. I don’t think that really helps make good work”, she says, “And I’ve always been aware of that”.
• Ed Sheeran – his ‘Shape of You’ is already an inescapable smash hit, but now it’s made history. The song just passed 1 billion streams on Spotify, a distinction only two songs have earned before; Drake’s ‘One Dance’ and the Chainsmokers’ hit ‘Closer’.
• The Judds –   will be releasing ‘The Judds – All-Time Greatest Hits’ on June 30. The mother-daughter duo chose to include 21 songs that they feel helped secure their spot in the country music world.
• Scotty McCreery – has launched a tear-jerker in his new video for the single ‘Five More Minutes.’ The clip – dedicated to both of McCreery’s grandfathers, features the singer’s family home movies from throughout the years.

*******(FYI: The official AP pronunciation of covfefe is  (cuv-fey-fey)*******
Trump’s nonsensical tweet garnered lots of laughter before it was deleted, but then it quickly turned annoying after becoming a meme.  President Trump, however, is not the only famous person to coin a weird word:
• “Misunderestimate” (George W. Bush) – During his presidency, George W. Bush became well known for his unique take on the English language. One of his most famous “Bushisms” is the creation of the word “misunderestimate.” In 2000, during a speech in Arkansas, Bush said certain people misunderestimate him. (But no one ever misunderestimated his command of English!)
• “Recruiterments” (George W. Bush) – Another Bushism! This one came about in 2000, when the President was discussing ways to fight terrorist organizations. He said, “The best way to defeat this enemy in the long run is to deny them the recruiting tools…and the recruiterments.”
• “Sussudio” (Phil Collins) – The catchy 1985 tune is perhaps the grandfather of made-up words.  Collins used nonsense words to nail the pacing of the song. Then when it was time to add in real lyrics, Collins liked the sound of “Sussudio” and decided to keep it. (It may have had no meaning then, but it does now.  See ‘Urban Dictionary’)
• “Unskinny” (Poison) – Just like ‘Sussudio’ ‘Unskinny Bop’  was a temporary nonsense phrase that never got replaced. Poison’s guitarist C.C. DeVille invented the term as a lyrical placeholder. When producer Bruce Fairbairn heard it, he liked it. The term has no meaning. (Although ‘fat’ might be a possibility…)
• “Serfbort” (Beyoncé) – Twitter lost its mind over Beyoncé’s surprise self-titled album drop, especially over “Drunk in Love.” In one line of the song, Beyoncé utters the word “surfboard” several times. Her pronunciation sounded funny to some Twitter users, and thus the #SERFBORT hashtag came into being.
• “Grool” (Mean Girls) – This is a combination of “great” and “cool.” from the movie ‘Mean Girls’.  When Cady Herron’s crush, Aaron Samuels, invites her to his Halloween party, she confirms her acceptance with this nervous slip-up.
• “Bigly” (Donald Trump) – Donald Trump’s gibberish isn’t limited to “covfefe.” In 2016, during the first U.S. presidential debate, Trump remarked to Hillary Clinton that he would cut taxes “bigly” if elected, while she would “raise taxes bigly.” Whether he meant “bigly” or “big league,” the Internet ran wild with it.
(Now, could someone please ask Steve Miller what the heck is a ‘pompitous of love’?)

Great.  Another study to take the joy of eating away from us.  A new bit of research says that if you enjoy french fries twice per week, you could be at increased risk of death.  Harsh.  The study linked eating fried potatoes — including french fries, home fries, curly fries, waffle fries, hash browns, tater tots, jojos, and any other variation you might have heard of — at least twice a week with a risk of death of more than double those who don’t.  The study followed the fried potato eating habits of 4400 people between the ages of 45 and 79.
(Which tells me that if you make it to 79, you’re home free!)
(I choose to take this study with a grain of salt.)
(How about if I eat fries ONCE per week?  Then I’m OK?)

Developer and designer Nate Parrott created a neural network with the sole purpose of coming up with new names. He took 7500 American names, and used an algorithm to generate possible new given names for soon or someday to-be parents. According to the program, these are names that we humans might start coming up with for our children in the future. Have a look.  If you are expecting, you could be the first to have a child named:
○ Pruliaa
○ Herree
○ Chitoi
○ Deredrd
○ Aaaort
○ Nitnis
○ Aloora
○ Rarear
○ Jnnn
○ Seeleere
○ Tstilit
○ P
(How would you like to have a niece named ‘Auntt’?  Or an Uncle?)

It is good news for the part of the graduating class that was NOT singled out for Valedictory honors.  And bad news for the actual valedictorian.  Graduating at the top of your class doesn’t have much bearing on future success.  According to a book, in which Boston College researchers followed 81 valedictorians for 14 years post-graduation, the top-tier students did well (as expected), in their chosen fields, but less than half reached the highest possible tier after 14 years of work. And a total of zero produced groundbreaking innovations. In the book, called ‘Barking Up the Wrong Tree’ author Eric Barker writes what many of us have known (or perhaps hoped) all along: Graduating at the top of your class doesn’t have much bearing on future success.
(It sure gives their parents something to brag about, though!)
(Man!  They don’t succeed any more than anyone else AND they have to give a speech.  Bad deal!)
(I didn’t know what a valedictorian was until I didn’t win it…)
(You know what they say: It’s not enough to be a success, all my friends have to fail…)


1946 [71] Donald Trump, NYC, US President/ TV reality show host (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2004-15)/real estate billionaire (Trump Tower)/author (“The Art Of the Deal”)

1961 [56] Boy George (George Alan O’Dowd), London, England, pop singer (80’s band Culture Club “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?”, “Karma Chameleon”)

1968 Yasmine Bleeth [49] New York, NY, tv actress (“Baywatch”, One Life To Live”)

1989 [28] Lucy Hale, Memphis TN, TV actress (‘Aria Montgomery’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2010)

• “Bourbon Day”, a day to raise a glass of the sweetened amber spirit to celebrate the splendor of this great American whiskey. Most recipes use about 70% corn, which gives it its nickname of ‘corn whiskey’.  Although the origin of the name ‘bourbon’ is unclear, contenders include Bourbon County in Kentucky and Bourbon Street in New Orleans.
• “Family History Day”, a day to ‘share the folklore, legends and myths of your family tree’.
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• “Strawberry Shortcake Day”, observed each year on June 14th. Either on a shortcake biscuit or on a sponge cake, strawberry shortcake is an easy and delicious summertime dessert.
• “World Blood Donor Day”, the 11th annual dedicated to thanking and celebrating voluntary blood donors around-the-globe. It occurs on the birthday of Karl Landsteiner, creator of the A-B-O blood grouping system, for which he won the Nobel Prize in 1930.

[Thurs] Lobster Day
[Thurs] Nature Photography Day
[Thurs] Smile Day
[Fri] Fresh Veggies Day
[Fri] Fudge Day
[Fri] Flip Flop Day

2011 [06] The long-delayed, problem-plagued musical “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” officially opens on Broadway in NYC

2002 [15] (Sir) Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones is made a knight by Queen Elizabeth II. (According to the British Press, The Queen avoided personally giving Sir Mick Jagger his knighthood because she thought he was an inappropriate candidate for honour. She scheduled knee surgery for the day before the honours were to be handed out.)

2006 [11] Shakira kicks off her 99-date “Oral Fixation World Tour” in Zaragoza, Spain (attracts over 2 million fans and grosses over $98 million)

2012 [04] Swedish doctors perform the world’s 1st stem cell-assisted vein transplant on a 10-year-old girl

2012 [05] Australia announces its plan to create the ‘Largest Marine Reserve in the World’

1994 [23] The New York Rangers win the Stanley Cup by defeating the Vancouver Canucks 4 games to 3. It was the first time the Rangers had won the cup in 54 years.


• 100% humidity doesn’t mean that it is raining.  It means that water is condensing at the same rate that it’s evaporating.
• Corn can sweat.  The process of corn releasing water into the atmosphere is called ‘evapotranspiration’.

✓ You’ve already read the Dilbert page-a-day calendar for all of 2017
✓  You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.
✓ You’ve figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
✓ You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.
✓ People only come into your office to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
✓ No longer content with merely photocopying your hand, you now scan it, enhance it with Photoshop, and distribute it to everyone on your contacts using only voice commands.
✓ You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarfs.
✓  The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.
✓ You have now officially read the internet.
-Adapted from Rantnroll

☎• If you could pick any 2 people in history to be your parents (besides your real ones) who would they be?

Two wrongs don’t make a right.  But three lefts do.

Just in time for “Fathers Day” it’s the …
We tell you the animal, you tell us what the father [male] is called. These are arranged roughly in order of difficulty …
• Homo Sapiens … Papa, Pops, Daddy
• Chicken … Rooster
• Turkey … Tom
• Horse … Stallion
• Goat … Billy
• Sheep … Ram
• Duck … Drake
• Moose … Bull
• Kangaroo … Jack
• Bee … Drone
• Squirrel … Buck
• Ferret … Hob
– First published in BS in 2016

Question: 45% of us think you should wait until age 25 to do THIS. What is it?
Answer: Get a credit card.

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.

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