Tuesday, June 18, 2013        Edition: #5009

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ Charlie Sheen & Selma Blair are in an all out war on the set of “Anger Management” … so much so, Sheen claims that he’s fired her and will refuse to shoot if she shows up again. It all started when Blair complained to producers that Sheen is a pain to work with as he’s late all the time and has a shoddy work ethic. Charlie reportedly now wants to extend an offer to Mila Kunis (Ashton Kutcher’s girlfriend) for a 10-episode arc on the show … at $1 million per episode. (FX network is hoping this all blows over. We think the ‘blow’ is already in play.)
– TMZ.com
✳ Today Kanye West releases his 6th solo album, “Yeezus”, the much-delayed project pulled together with last-minute help from producer Rick Rubin. As the album leaked on Friday before its due date, people have already been tweeting some its best (aka dumbest) lines, including …
* “4 in the moanin’ and I’m zonin’. I think I’m possessed. It’s the omen. I keep it 300. Like the Romans. 300 girls. Where the Trojans?!”
* “Star Wars fur, yeah I’m rockin’ Chewbacca …”
* “When I park my Range Rover slightly scratch your Corolla, ok I smash your Corolla …”
* “Hurry up with my damn croissants!”
– Vulture.com
✳ Krysten Ritter and Ryan Hansen have become the latest “Veronica Mars” stars to join the cast of the movie adaptation of the cult TV series. Ritter will reprise her role as ‘Gia Goodman’ in the film, which was funded by fans via a Kickstarter.com crowdfunding campaign, and Hansen will be back as wealthy ‘Dick Casablancas’. (Production on the movie began yesterday.)
– WENN.com
✳ And former screen siren Ava Gardner was a broke alcoholic when in 1988, in a desperate bid to raise some cash, she decided to write her memoir. She died in 1990 after cancelling the project, but now her taped interviews have been compiled in a new book, “Ava Gardner: The Secret Conversations”, to be published July 3rd. A few juicy highlights …
* Her first husband was actor Mickey Rooney, whom she reveals had the nickname ‘Mickey Hard-On’. Quote: “He’d screw anything that moved.”
* She says mega-rich mogul Howard Hughes, with whom she had an affair, was a strident racist.
* While co-starring in 1966’s “The Bible: In the Beginning”, actor George C Scott beat her up so badly, she had to be hospitalized.
* She simultaneously dated Frank Sinatra and actor Robert Mitchum, both of whom were married. Mitchum stepped out of the way and Sinatra left his wife so he & Gardner could wed.
– RadarOnline.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – More hopefuls perform for the judges.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Von Grey (“Von Grey”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Australian pop singer Cody Simpson (“Paradise”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Empire Of the Sun (“Ice On the Dune”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Blue Hawaii (“Untogether”). Rerun.
• “NBA Finals” (ABC/TSN) – Game 6 from the American Airlines Arena in Miami FL.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – The top 20 finalists are revealed; the dancers perform.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Grouplove perform “Ways to Go”.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Guest co-host Kellie Pickler (“100 Proof”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The winner is revealed on the 5th season finalé. Cher performs “Woman’s World”, a new single from her upcoming album of the same name; Christina Aguilera performs “Feel This Moment” w/Pitbull; Bruno Mars, Florida Georgia Line, and Nelly are also scheduled.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alabama Shakes – Tonight they kick off a North American headline tour in Columbus OH. They’ll also play numerous Summer festivals, including this weekend’s Firefly in Dover DE, London’s Hard Rock Calling, and the Calgary Folk Music Festival.
• Beady Eye – Today the post-Oasis band formed by Liam Gallagher releases its 2nd album, “BE”, produced by Dave Sitek of TV On the Radio.
• Black Sabbath – “13” has become their first #1 album on the UK charts in 43 years. It’s the longest gap between chart-topping albums in Brit music history. (Their last: “Paranoid” in 1970.)
• Hunter Hayes – His “Hunter Hayes (Encore)” album is out today, featuring both new and re-recorded songs. Collaborators include Jason Mraz and Ashley Monroe. Tonight he’s featured
on MTV’s “Artist to Watch Live” series, with a concert livestreamed from NYC’s Webster Hall.
• Kelly Rowland – Her new solo album, “Talk a Good Game”, is released today. It features guest spots from Wiz Khalifa, Pharrell, The-Dream and former Destiny’s Child mates Beyoncé and Michelle Williams. She’ll hit the road to promote it with The-Dream this Summer.
• Mac Miller – “The Way” rapper’s 2nd studio album, “Watching Movies With the Sound Off”, is out today. A week from today he’ll head out on the 38-city “Space Migration Tour” to promote it, beginning in Austin TX.
• Rolling Stones – Tonight Brad Paisley is guest performer at the first of two “50 & Counting” tour gigs in Philadelphia PA. Paisley won’t be the first country act to join the band onstage: Carrie Underwood did it in Toronto, Keith Urban in LA, and Taylor Swift in Chicago. (What song do you think Paisley will play on?)
• 3OH!3 – “Omens”, their latest studio album, is out today. 3OH!3 will co-headline this Summer’s “Vans Warped Tour”, with dates kicking off June 30th in Denver CO.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Jack the Giant Slayer” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): Director Bryan Singer’s modern day fairytale in which a young farmer leads an expedition into a kingdom of giants in hope of rescuing a kidnapped princess. Stars Nicholas Hoult in his first leading Hollywood role. Co-stars Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Bill Nighy.
• “The Last Exorcism Part II” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): As ‘Nell’ tries to build a new life after the events of the first movie (2010), the evil force that once possessed her returns with an even more horrific plan. Stars Ashley Bell, Spencer Treat Clark, Andrew Sensenig, Judd Lormand. Odds are this is nowhere near the last exorcism for poor ‘Ms Sweetzer’.
• “Movie 43” ( R-Rated Comedy ): A series of interconnected short films by a dozen different directors follows 3 kids as they search the depths of the Internet to find the most banned movie in the world. Cast includes Dennis Quaid, Emma Stone, Greg Kinnear, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Liev Schreiber, Richard Gere, and Seth MacFarlane.
• “Quartet” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): 74-year-old actor Dustin Hoffman roped in veteran actors Maggie Smith and Michael Gambon to star in his directorial debut, a comedy set in a home for retired opera singers. The cast also includes Billy Connolly, Pauline Collins, and Tom Courtenay. Hoffman also served as executive producer on the project.
• “Stoker” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): After a girl’s father dies, an uncle that she never knew existed comes to live with her and her unstable mother. She comes to suspect this mysterious, charming man has ulterior motives yet becomes increasingly infatuated with him. Stars Mia Wasikowska, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode, Dermot Mulroney.
• “21 and Over” ( 14A Comedy ): In this youth comedy, a promising medical student celebrates his 21st birthday with his best friends on the night before his big exam. Stars Miles Teller, Justin Chon, Jonathan Keltz, Sarah Wright. Think “The Hangover”, only in college. Partially shot in China.
• Also released today: “Body of Proof: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Drop Dead Diva: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “Jethro Tull: Around the World Live” (Music Documentary); “The Jungle Book: Adventures of Mowgli – Complete Collection” (Animation); “Rectify: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); and “Workaholics: Season 3 (TV).

PROPER MISSPELLING:
The music biz now has its own grammar guide, released last month at the National Association of Recording Merchandisers’ convention. The song titles “In da House”, “Kill ‘Em ‘n Grill ‘Em”, and “It’s fo’ Realz”, all get a thumbs up from the style guide as examples of proper capitalization. Yeah, but how about the spelling? No probs. According to the new rules, intentionally misspelled words are fine (creative license) but they must respect the same title casing rules as normally spelled words. The guidelines are meant to establish basic rules for data entry, so today’s music can be searched in the future. (Is it likely someone’s going to need to look up “Imma Eat her A$$” at some point?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

WE WANT WHAT SHE HAS:
50-year-old Claire Bartlett of Newport, South Wales has found an ingenious way to save time on domestic chores … she does them while she’s asleep. She suffers from a disorder that causes her to dust, wash dishes, and clean windows while she sleepwalks. Interestingly, she’s never tired afterward. If anything, she’s relieved when she wakes up and finds that everything is done. The phenomenon happens about 3 times a week, regularly enough that she purposely avoids cleaning up, hoping her subconscious self will do it. (Coincidentally, this is how government workers get though their workdays.)
– “Times of London”

SMART SOX:
So now it’s come to this … computerized socks. Heapsylon, a small startup based in Redmond, Washington, has developed Sensoria, a wearable sock-based computer that you can throw in the washer & dryer when it starts to stink. The product will initially focus on runners, but the data gathered by the socks could also be useful to golfers looking for info on how they are shifting weight during strokes; skiers who want to analyze their turns; or diabetics, whose feet often suffer from nerve damage. The fabric could also be shaped into other kinds of garments. (“Mom, my smart underwear is in the laundry … I need it for school!”)
– BusinessWeek.com

NOW OFFICIALLY REAL WORDS:
The act of ‘tweeting’ – that is, posting something on the social network Twitter.com – is now formally recognized as a part of the English language by the venerable “Oxford English Dictionary”. The word is part of a June update to the respected tome, added as both a noun (“I posted a tweet”) and as a verb (“I tweeted a post”). Other tech-related words being added this year include ‘crowdsourcing’, ‘mouseover’, ‘e-reader’, and ‘re-direct’. (Still not added – to our dismay – ‘technoweenie’.)
– AllThingsD.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• “Man of Steel”, Zack Snyder’s version of the ‘Superman’ myth, cost $225 million to produce but could end up as a billion-dollar box office hit.
– QMI Agency
• Warner Bros is marketing “Man of Steel” to Christian churches, even offering sermon notes that compare ‘Superman’ to Jesus.
– CNN.com
• With $113.1 million in domestic box office, “Man of Steel” has had the biggest June opening ever and 2013’s 2nd-largest debut weekend.
– Reuters.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.18.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [71] (Sir) Paul McCartney, Liverpool UK, rock billionaire (Wings-“Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, Beatles-“Let it Be”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1999)

1956 [57] Brian Benben, Winchester VA, TV actor (‘Dr Sheldon Wallace’ on “Private Practice” 2008-13)

1971 [42] Nathan Morris, Philadelphia PA, oldies singer (Boyz II Men-“I’ll Make Love to You”, “End Of the Road”)

1976 [37] Blake Shelton, Ada OK, country singer (“Sure Be Cool If You Did”, “Drink On It”)/TV personality (“The Voice” since 2011)

1978 [35] Steven Chen, LA CA, indie rock guitarist (Airborne Toxic Event-“Changing”, “Sometime Around Midnight”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Autistic Pride Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘neuro-diversity’ of people on the autism spectrum that’s designed to shift views of autism from ‘disease’ to ‘difference’.

• “Go Fishing Day” which, if you can pull it off, would allow you to post a sign on your door saying ‘Gone Fishing’. Work, after all, is for people who don’t know how to fish.

• “International Picnic Day” a great time to enjoy a meal ‘alfresco’, or if you don’t know him … anyone else you choose. It’s a pseudo-holiday for humans but a regular working day for ants.

• “International Sushi Day”, the 4th annual observance conceived originally as a Facebook page. Quote: “Every day should be Sushi Day, but like anything that is this amazing, it deserves a day unto itself.”
NET: http://bit.ly/10Xizp

• “Splurge Day”, when we’re encouraged to go out and do something indulgent. (Don’t go overboard, because tomorrow is ‘Return Everything You Bought on Splurge Day’.)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1905 [108] The wooden chair that’s become a symbol of Summer, the ‘Adirondack Chair’, is patented by Harry Bunnell of Westport NY (in Canada, it’s known as the ‘Muskoka Chair’)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2011 [02] Clarence Clemons, saxophonist for Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, dies at age 69 from complications related to a stroke

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [13] Tiger Woods wins the US Open Golf Championship by a record 15 strokes

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] “O Music Awards” (MTV)
[Wed] World Sauntering Day
[Thurs] Recess at Work Day
[Fri] “Monsters University”; “World War Z” open in movie theaters
[Fri] 1st Day of Summer
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
This Week Is … Universal Fathers Week
This Month Is … International Men’s Month

BULL’S BITS


UNLIKELY SIMILES:
• Shaking like a Quaker in a samba line.
• Ripe as a mis-mailed box of week-old lox.
• Giddy as a laid off postal worker at a Texas gun show.
• Useful as a salmon server in South Sudan.
• Happy as a baleen whale at a Red Lobster ‘All You Can Eat Linguini & Krill Fest’.
• As likely as your maiden aunt Agatha doing Jell-O shots at Coachella.
– Thanks to WC Clowney

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What are the pros & cons of TV ‘binge-watching’, where you take in a TV season or even an entire series in a short period of time?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Where in the world can you find the most plants?
a. Equatorial Africa.
b. Under the sea. [CORRECT. It’s estimated 85% of all plant life is underwater.]
c. Amazonian rainforest.
d. Snoop Lion’s grow-op.

• If an octopus is starving, it will resort to eating which?
a. Stinging jellyfish.
b. Its partner.
c. Its own arms. [CORRECT]
d. Tofu.
– “Totally Trivial”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to “Glamour”, 40% of women have tried to cut back on THIS.
Answer: Gossiping.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience … well, that comes from poor judgment.


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