BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The NYPD investigation into last Wednesday’s massive bar brawl between the entourages of Chris Brown and Drake has been closed as has the scene of the fracas, WiP nightclub, for code violations (the real loser in all this) . . . Actor Ian Somerhalder (“Vampire Diaries”, “Lost”) is campaigning for the lead in the upcoming movie version of the raunchy book series “Fifty Shades of Grey” and is now using Twitter to spread the word (seems to have worked – there are reportedly ‘talks’) . . . Former “Survivor” winners-turned-old married couple ‘Boston Rob’ and Amber have just welcomed their 3rd daughter (without making it into a reality show – congrats!) . . . “Breaking Bad” actor Aaron Paul (‘Jesse Pinkman’) is in talks to star in a new HBO show, now that the meth-cooking series is about to end (final season begins July 15th) . . . HBO’s “Girls” is a show by and about urban women in their early 20s, but Nielsen data shows it’s drawing its biggest ratings amongst – huh? – men over 50 (aka ‘pervs’) . . . Rocker David Bowie’s bisexual ex-wife Angie Bowie is set to follow up her memoir “Lipstick Legend” by publishing “Pop Sex”, a book about eroticism and odd behavior around-the-world (after being wed to Bowie, she wouldn’t have to look too far) . . . And Brazilian stunner Gisele Bundchen tops the new “Forbes” list of ‘Highest Paid Models’, raking in a staggering $45 million in the past year (wonder if her $18-million-a-year hubby, NFL QB Tom Brady, had to sign a pre-nup?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Seal (“Soul 2”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Waka Flocka Flame (“Triple F Life: Fans, Friends & Family”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Young the Giant (“Young the Giant”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Dirty Projectors (“Swing Lo Magellan”, out July 10th).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Walk the Moon (“Anna Sun”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Mary J Blige (“Rock Of Ages”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Grouplove (“Never Trust a Happy Song”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Justin Bieber (“Believe”, out today).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Fiona Apple – Her 4th album, “The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver Of the Screw & Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do”, is released today, her 1st release since 2005’s “Extraordinary Machine”. Tonight she begins a North American tour in support of it in Ithaca NY.
• The Hives – Tonight  in Washington DC they embark on a North American tour in support of their new album “Lex Hives”.
• Katy Perry – Tonight she appears on the special, “MTV First: Katy Perry”, to premiere her new video for “Wide Awake”. The clip, which takes place in a fairytale-like setting, is followed by an exclusive 30-minute interview.
• Kenny Chesney – His new album “Welcome To the Fishbowl” is out today, his follow-up to “Hemingway’s Whiskey”.
• Kylie Minogue – Her new greatest hits compilation, “The Best Of Kylie Minogue”, is on sale today. The 21-song set celebrates the dance-pop pixy’s 25 years in music.
• Ozzy Osbourne – He & his family have revealed in “Hello!” magazine that his 26-year-old son Jack has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis after a frightening spell in which he lost 60% of the vision in his right eye. Jack became a father via fiancée Lisa Stelly just 2 months ago.
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Today they release “Oceania”, the first Pumpkins album featuring Billy Corgan’s new lineup of guitarist Jeff Schroeder, bassist Nicole Fiorentino, and drummer Mike Byrne.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Big Miracle” ( PG Romantic Drama ): In smalltown Alaska, a news reporter recruits his Greenpeace volunteer ex-girlfriend for a campaign to save a family of gray whales trapped by rapidly forming ice in the Arctic Circle. Stars Drew Barrymore, John Krasinski. Inspired by a true story that captured attention around-the-world.
• “Jeff, Who Lives at Home” ( R-Rated Comedy ) – Jason Segel (“The Muppets”) plays a 30-year-old slacker who lives in the basement of his mom’s house. Susan Sarandon plays his mother and Ed Helms (“The Office”) his estranged brother who, by comparison, seems to have everything going for him … except his wife.
• “Project X” ( R- Rated Comedy ): Three high school seniors throw a birthday party to make a name for themselves. As the night progresses, things spiral out of control as word of the party spreads. Celebrity-free cast includes Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Dax Flame.
• “Wanderlust” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Jennifer Aniston & Paul Rudd play a newly unemployed Manhattan couple who decide to experiment with rural living. They stumble upon ‘Elysium’, an idyllic community populated by colorful characters. Co-stars Justin Theroux. Sorry, Aniston’s topless scene did not make the final cut.
• Also released today: “Franklin & Bash: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Louie: Season 2” (TV); “The Raconteurs: Live at Montreux 2008” (Music); “The Sarah Silverman Program: The Complete Series” (TV); and “Wilfred: The Complete 1st Season” (TV).

A PEAK INTO YOUR SOLE:
A new University of Kansas study suggests that 90% of a person’s characteristics can be determined just by examining the style, cost, color, and condition of their … shoes. In experiments, people were able to accurately judge demographic and personality traits of complete strangers simply by looking at their most frequently worn footwear. As expected, extroverts tend to wear flashy shoes, the wealthy don more expensive shoes, and the more conscientious folks keep their footgear cleaner. Perhaps surprisingly, those who wear uncomfortable-looking shoes tend to be calm. (But they’re quietly thinking, ‘Ow, ow, ow’ …)
– HuffingtonPost.com

HOW TO SAVE YOU EARS:
Up to 18% of young people have noise-induced hearing loss even though it is 100% preventable. You can protect your ears by following these guidelines …
✓ Use protection. Drugstore earplugs can save your drums from damage. Roll the plug into a thin cylinder, and then with your other hand, pull the top of your ear up to straighten out the ear canal. Then wedge the plug into your ear until you can only see a small piece.
✓ Buy the right ear buds. Because of background noise, everyone is turning up the volume on their iPods. Invest in a quality pair of noise-isolating earbuds like those made by Etymotic, Yurbuds, or Shure and you can keep the volume at 80% or below.
✓ Be wary about painkillers. A study in the “American Journal of Medicine” has found that people under 50 who take painkillers at least twice a week may have an increased risk of hearing loss. Call your doc if you notice ringing ears while taking a painkiller.
✓ Do a test. If you’re not sure whether your environment is breaking the sound barrier, test it with an iPhone app like ‘Studio Six’, which has a sound level meter that will spit out decibels. If it’s above 80, pop in earplugs.
– Condensed from “Men’s Health”

HERE’S THE BIG DEAL:
Fat people could bring about the end of humanity by gobbling up all our food stocks, a new study claims. Scientists at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine say that battling rising population weight is crucial for ‘food security’. Otherwise, it could lead to mass starvation and an environmental crisis. Everyone accepts that population growth threatens global environmental sustainability, says lead researcher Ian Roberts, but ‘population fatness’ is also a major threat. The world’s adult population weighs a mammoth 287 million tons … 15 million of which are due to being overweight. (That’s enough fat to power 9,422 power generating stations.)
– TheScottishSun.co.uk

THE WORLD WITHOUT THE INTERNET:
A sketch of how our lives would be different if we didn’t have the ability to go online …
✗ No one would have an Internet-related job, each of which supports 1.54 additional jobs. That would cost over 3 million jobs in the US alone.
✗ No more staying in touch through social media. In 1 month of Facebook, there are 30 billion pieces of content shared.
✗ Revolutions would take longer. It took 1 week to organize the Egyptian rebellion; the fall of the Berlin Wall (1989) took 4 months.
✗ No free Wikipedia. The “Encyclopedia Britannica” would cost you $1,200 (if it was still around).
✗ No free email would mean the world would be spending literally trillions on old-fashioned snail mail.
✗ Some of your favorite companies would not exist: Amazon, Apple, Google, Groupon, Twitter, etc.
✗ Without the Internet we have 6 degrees of separation; with it, 3.74.
– BuzzFeed.com

BEST DAY OF THE YEAR?
Psychologist Cliff Arnall of Cardiff University in Wales has worked out a mathematical formula which he says proves that tomorrow, June 20th is the ‘Happiest Day Of the Year’. Why? A combination of lighter evenings, balmier temperatures, being outdoors, the prospect of a vacation, social interaction, and memories of childhood Summers. (Dissenters? December 24th anyone?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

FOR THE RECORD:
✓ 5-year-old Australian Aelita Andre is thought to be the world’s youngest professional painter. Her bold masterful style has garnered her worldwide attention. Last year, during her art exhibition at NYC’s Agora Gallery, every one of her paintings sold within 7 days. Now she’s returned to the Big Apple with a new solo show which has been called ‘abstract expressionist and surrealist’.
– “Daily Telegraph”
✓ 84-year-old Qian Jinfan of Foshan, China is hoping to become the oldest in the country (possibly the world) to undergo … transgender surgery. He says he first felt that he should have been born a girl when he was just 3-years-old. Neither his parents, his wife, nor his son had any idea he secretly wished to change gender until he turned 80 and began taking female hormones and dressing as a woman.
– Orange.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?
The average automobile is parked 95% off the time .
– TTP

BS CHRONOMETER 06.19.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [58] Kathleen Turner, Springfield MO, movie actress (“Romancing the Stone”, “Body Heat”)/stage actress (“High”, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”)

1962 [50] Paula Abdul, Van Nuys CA, incoherent TV personality (“The X Factor” 2011, “American Idol” 2002-10)/pop singer (1988 Grammy-“Opposites Attract”)

1969 [43] Lara Spencer (Von Seelen), Garden City NY, TV correspondent (“Good Morning America”, “Nightline”)/TV host (“The Insider” 2004-10, “Antiques Roadshow” 2004-05)

1972 [40] Jean Dujardin, Rueil-Malmaison, France, movie actor (2012 Oscar-“The Artist”)/1st French actor to win an Academy Award for ‘Best Actor’

1975 [37] Poppy Montgomery, Sydney, Australia, TV actress (‘Carrie Wells’ on “Unforgettable” since 2011, “Without a Trace” 2002-09)

1978 [34] Zoe Saldana, Passaic NJ, movie actress (“Avatar”, “Star Trek”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Juneteenth”, marking the day in 1865 that slaves in several Southern states heard they had been emancipated. It’s a state holiday in Texas and observed in at least 3 other US states.

• “Martini Day”. Recipe for a very dry martini: Take 1 bottle of gin.

• “World Sauntering Day”, a day to ‘revive the art of Victorian sauntering, and discourage jogging, lollygagging, sashaying, fast walking and trotting’. It’s “Martini Day”, can we stumble?

• “World Sickle Cell Day”, to create awareness of the most frequent genetic disease worldwide. It’s estimated 500,000 babies are born with this severe and invalidating condition each year. 50% of them die before age 5.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/6om5pfd

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1978 [34] Jim Davis’ fat cat comic strip “Garfield” debuts in newspapers (what can we say but ‘big fat hairy deal’?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1981 [31] 13-year-old singing phenom Celine Dion makes her TV debut in Québec (back when future manager and husband René is only 72)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1917 [95] By order of King George V, the British royal family dispenses with German titles and surnames (Saxe-Coburg and Gotha) and takes on the inoffensive name ‘Windsor’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1985 [27] Angelo Spagnolo shoots an 18-hole total of 257 (including an incredible 66 on the 17th hole alone) to ‘win’ the “Worst Avid Golfer’s Tournament” at Ponte Vedra, Florida (loses 60 golf balls, 27 of them in water)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Summer Solstice
[Wed] Daylight Appreciation Day
[Wed] 2012 NHL Awards (Las Vegas)
[Thurs] Atheists Solidarity Day
[Thurs] Recess at Work Day
[Thurs] World Handshake Day
This Week Is … Appreciate Your Plumbing, Heating & Cooling Professionals Week
This Month Is … Rebuild Your Life Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit hummingbirds never remember the words to songs?
• Whyzit Chinese fortune cookies are written in English?
• Whyzit nobody ever puts out a sign that says ‘Nice Dog’?
• Whyzit the good answers are always the ones you think of afterward?
• Whyzit no matter how much manure you put on a strawberry plant, it still tastes like strawberry?

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Are there sacred cows of the music world that you know you should like but just don’t get? Sonic Youth? Tom Waits?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Mosquitoes only live up to 30 days. About how many eggs will a female lay during her brief lifetime?
a. 30
b. 300
c. 3,000 [CORRECT. She’ll still have time to bite some humans. Male mosquitoes don’t bite.]
– Halife.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
How do you know a shy person likes you? They’re looking at your shoes instead of theirs.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: It’s estimated a woman will spend just over $9,000 on THIS over the course of her lifetime.
Answer: Shaving supplies.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Anger is never without reason, but seldom with a good one.