Wednesday, June 19, 2013           Edition: #5010

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

✳ 54-year-old Madonna’s frozen face at the recent “Sound Of Change” concert in London is rousing speculation she’s had too much plastic surgery. Dr Giorgio Netri from Britain’s Transform Cosmetic Surgery chain believes Madonna’s strange new face is the result of too much cosmetic work involving dermal fillers. “This isn’t a great look,” he tells a UK magazine, conjecturing she’s had an excessive amount of face-freezing Botox injected into the frown line, forehead, and around the eyes. (Why can’t plastic people see reality in the mirror?)
✳ 29-year-old Andrew Garfield will don the “Spider-Man” costume for at least 3 sequels to last year’s “The Amazing Spider-Man”. As the Brit actor completes work on his 2nd film as ‘Peter Parker’ and his alter-ego, 3rd and 4th installments of the franchise have been announced for 2016 and 2018. “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” is scheduled to open worldwide in Summer 2014. (Basically, this guy will never have to look for another gig.)
✳ Lil Wayne has incurred the wrath of many Americans after being captured on camera dancing on the US flag while filming a music video in New Orleans LA. That breaks 2 articles of the United States Flag Code, which stipulates the star-spangled banner should never touch the ground or be stepped on. The video is for his new track, “God Bless Amerika”, which includes the lyrics: “My country ‘tis of thee/Sweet land of kill ‘em all and let ‘em die …” (Creating word-of-mouth by making people angry … is this well-thought-out PR methodology?)
✳ And “How I Met Your Mother” actor Neil Patrick Harris is returning to the Broadway stage to play a transgender East German singer in the NYC debut of the cult rock musical “Hedwig & The Angry Inch”, based on John Cameron Mitchell’s book of the same name. The author-actor starred in the original production, which premiered Off-Broadway in 1998. “Hedwig & The Angry Inch” will launch next Spring, although the theater and further casting details have yet to be announced. (When he next hosts the Tonys, he may be presenting an award to himself.)

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Postal Service (“Give Up – 10th Anniversary Edition”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Darius Rucker (“True Believers”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Katy Perry (“Teenage Dream”); Little Big Town (“Tornado”). Rerun.
• “Hot in Cleveland” (TV Land) – Brian Baumgartner (ex-“The Office”) and veteran “Star Trek” actor William Shatner guest star on the live season premiere.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Joshua James (“Build Me This”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – The Rubens (“The Rubens”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Chvrches (“The Bones of What You Believe”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Jim James (My Morning Jacket).
• “O Music Awards” (MTV) – The annual honors for artists, innovators, and fans that are impacting music and counter-culture play out during the course of “Live Music Day Festival”, featuring live performances by more than 50 acts during the 24-hour period beginning 7 pm ET. Award categories include ‘Digital Genius Award’, ‘Best Web-Born Artist’, and ‘Must Follow Artist on Twitter’.
• “Stanley Cup Final” (CBC/NBC) – Game 4, from TD Garden in Boston MA.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Little Big Town again.

• Avril Lavigne – She says her wedding to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger will be ‘spectacular’, but she’s keeping details of where and when secret. She does reveal that their wedding song will be a duet they recorded together for her new album.
Justin Biber – LAPD are investigating an incident in which the pop star may have struck a photographer with his Ferrari. Monday night Bieber was leaving LA’s Laugh Factory as several snappers photographed him and he allegedly pinned a paparazzo to another car. The snapper reportedly suffered a leg injury and was taken to hospital. The Biebs had already left the scene.
• Kanye West – The track “Black Skinhead”, from his new 6th solo album “Yeezus”, will also appear on the soundtrack to the upcoming Leonardo DiCaprio film, “The Wolf of Wall Street” (opening November 15th).
• The Killers – Frontman Brandon Flowers thinks his band has remained together so long (over a decade) due to their close-knit bond. Quote: “It’s like family, we love each other like that and we hate each other like that too at times.”
• Psy – The 35-year-old Korean rapper is recording a track with Queen’s Brian May. Psy is a massive Queen fan (particularly of Freddie Mercury) and has said in the past that he’s in the music biz because of their influence on him.
• Rolling Stones – Ronnie Wood has hinted the band is planning a new album. They already recorded a handful of new songs for their 2012 greatest hits album “GRRR!”, but Wood has now suggested they might follow up their current “50 & Counting” tour with a complete disc.

As consumers, we navigate a complicated world of choices by seeking out lists and reviews in order to limit and prioritize our options. But what effect do top 10 lists have on our opinions of commodities and experiences? In experiments, Princeton University sociologists discovered that the BELIEF that a song is popular has a profound affect on its popularity as a download, even if isn’t truly popular to begin with. So it seems top 10 lists have a kind of placebo effect. They don’t just tell us what to read, watch, or listen to; they tell us what to like. And they make us think we like something just because we see it next to the #1. (Does this explain Kanye?)

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 90% of us have a least 1 bottle of ketchup in the house.
• 40% of polled men expect to someday become a victim of cyber-crime.
• 20% of guys go for a workout after being dumped.
• 10% of us have at least 1 french fry in the car right now.
• 8% of us will admit that we have fallen asleep during sex.
• 7% of us still use an old-fashioned clothesline instead of a clothes dryer.

It’s long been one of the inexplicable frustrations of modern life, but scientists now believe they have discovered the cause of bad hair days when your ‘do will not do what you want. The researchers believe traces of copper from a typical home’s water pipes are the reason for damaged locks. The metal gradually builds up in hair, causing split ends, fly-away strands, and less shine. It seems to also help speed up damage from sunlight. The effect is even more pronounced for those who use hair dye. (Another claim will soon appear on a shampoo bottle near you.)

California’s State Assembly has struggled to come up with a legal definition of … a hot dog. Why? Hot dog vendors are threatened with closure by health inspectors unless it’s proven their wares are significantly different than, say, a bratwurst vendor. The definition’s needed so there’s a less-stringent standard for heating an already cooked dog as opposed to cooking raw foods such as sausage. The proposed definition: “Hot dog means a whole, cured, cooked sausage that is skinless or stuffed in a casing that may be known as a frankfurter, frank, furter, wiener, red hot, Vienna, bologna, garlic bologna or knockwurst and that may be served in a bun or roll.” (No mention of … “made from the otherwise useless offal and  viscera of cattle or pigs”.)

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Bliss Point’ – A term coined by TV chef Nigella Lawson for the point at which the concentration of sugar, fat, and salt is just right to make a food maximally tasty. She says she reaches her bliss point with something called ‘Salted Caramel’. (Nah … go for the pecan pie!)
• ‘Snailpaper’ – Akin to ‘snail mail’, this is the print edition of a newspaper that’s physically delivered and therefore more outdated than online news. Print newspapers feature items at least 12-hours-old … an eternity in today’s wired world. (Thereby missing at least 6 dumb things some Kardashian or other has said in the meantime.)
• ‘Squirrel King’ – A rare condition whereby squirrels accidentally have their tails fused together, usually by tree sap. It happened to a half-dozen squirrel kittens in Regina, Saskatchewan last week. A veterinary team sedated them while successfully working to untangle the mess. (In extreme cases, tails have to be amputated.)

Think you do just fine on 5 or 6 hours of shut-eye? Chances are, you’re among the many millions who unwittingly shortchange themselves on sleep. Research shows that most people require 7 or 8 hours to function optimally. Failing to get enough sleep night-after-night can compromise your health and may even shorten your life. From infancy to old age, the effects of inadequate sleep can profoundly affect memory, learning, productivity and emotional stability, as well as physical health. Furthermore, sleep-deprived people perform in driving tests as if drunk, and no amount of caffeine or cold air can negate the ill effects. (Another reason all morning show personalities should have limo service.)
– Condensed from

• The “Mona Lisa” used to hang on the wall of Napoleon’s bedroom. (Coincidentally, Josephine was also a moana.)
• Cyclists in the UK can be prosecuted for ‘furious cycling’. (Something to do with making car drivers spittin’ mad?)
– BBC News


1954 [59] Kathleen Turner, Springfield MO, movie actress (“Romancing the Stone”, “Body Heat”)/stage actress (“High”, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”)

1962 [51] Paula Abdul, Van Nuys CA, incoherent TV personality (“The X Factor” 2011, “American Idol” 2002-10)/pop singer (1988 Grammy-“Opposites Attract”)

1970 [43]  Brian ‘Head’ Welch, Torrance CA, nu metal guitarist (KoRn-“Here to Stay”, “Freak On a Leash”)

1972 [41] Jean Dujardin, Rueil-Malmaison, France, movie actor (2012 Oscar-“The Artist”)/1st French actor to win an Academy Award for ‘Best Actor’  COMING UP: “The Wolf of Wall Street” November 15th; “Monuments Men” December 18th.

1975 [38] Poppy Montgomery, Sydney, Australia, TV actress (‘Carrie Wells’ on “Unforgettable” since 2011, “Without a Trace” 2002-09)

1975 [38] Hugh Dancy, Stoke-on-Trent UK, TV actor (‘Will Graham’ on “Hannibal” 2013)/married to actress Claire Danes since 2009

1978 [35] Zoe Saldana, Passaic NJ, movie actress (“Star Trek Into Darkness”, “Avatar”)

1983 [30] Macklemore (Ben Haggerty), Seattle WA, rapper (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-“Can’t Hold Us”, “Thrift Shop”)

• “Martini Day”. Recipe for a very dry martini: Take 1 bottle of gin.

• “World Sauntering Day”, a day to ‘revive the art of Victorian sauntering, and discourage jogging, lollygagging, sashaying, fast walking and trotting’. It’s “Martini Day”, can we stumble?

• “World Sickle Cell Day”, to create awareness of the most frequent genetic disease worldwide. It’s estimated a half-million babies are born with the condition each year. 50% die before age 5.

1973 [40] The stage production “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” debuts at London’s Royal Court Theatre (turned into a cult movie in 1975)

1978 [35] Jim Davis’ fat cat comic strip “Garfield” debuts in newspapers (what can we say but ‘big fat hairy deal’?)

1981 [32] 13-year-old singing phenom Celine Dion makes her TV debut in Québec (back when future manager and husband René is only 72)

1917 [96] By order of King George V, the British royal family dispenses with German titles and surnames (Saxe-Coburg & Gotha) and takes on the inoffensive name ‘Windsor’ (due to WW1)

1988 [25] In Santa Barbara CA, a team of 32 divers finishes cycling underwater on a standard tricycle, to complete 116.66 miles (187.8 km) in 75 hours, 20 minutes

[Thurs] Recess at Work Day
[Thurs] World Refugee Day
[Fri] 1st Day of Summer
[Fri] Go Skateboarding Day
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Sat] Stupid Guy Thing Day
This Week Is … Appreciate Your Plumbing, Heating & Cooling Professional Week
This Month Is … Rebuild Your Life Month


Some of these are names of hand-tied fishing lures, some are names for love-making techniques mentioned in “Cosmopolitan” magazine. So which are which?
• Bonefish Gotcha [Fly]
• Sea Horse [Position]
• Go-to-Joe [Fly]
• Kinky Muddler [Fly]
• Saucy Spoons [Position]
• Humpy Dry [Fly]
• Slippery When Wet [Position]
• Royal Coachman [Fly]
• Dirty Dangle [Position]
• Lusty Lean [Position]
• Extreme Emerger [Fly]
• Niagara Falls [Position]
– Thanks to Kelly Slivka

☎ What drives you nuts about your co-workers? Some of the most-cited faux pas …
– Taking the last coffee without making more.
– Clogging up your email inbox with stupid jokes.
– Spending more time gabbing than working.
– Not cleaning up the microwave after using it.
– Letting the copier run out of paper.
– Not returning messages.

What do bumblebees do before they take off?
a. Warm-up exercises. [CORRECT]
b. Pack a lunch.
c. Kiss their mate goodbye.
– “Totally Trivial”

A cow is nothing but a machine that makes grass fit for people to eat.

Question: Research shows that if you have THIS, you likely have lower blood pressure.
Answer: Long legs.

Build something foolproof and every fool will use it.

Printer Friendly Version