Thursday, June 2, 2011        Edition: #4519
Ahhhh, It’s Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
45-year-old actor Patrick Dempsey tells “Vanity Fair” that the current season of “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC) will be his last, after playing the role of ‘Dr Derek Shepherd’ since 2005 (this is unbelievable – that show’s still on?) . . . TV producer Bill Lawrence says he’s considering changing the name of Courteney Cox’s show “Cougar Town” because he’s convinced a lot of potential viewers have never tried it due to the title (how about “Friends 2”?) . . . 52-year-old actor Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) is said to be smitten with 28-year-old Hilaria Thomas, a yoga instructor (we’re sure it’s a philosophical attraction) . . . In what probably amounts to little more than another move to put the Charlie Sheen mess behind it, CBS-TV has decided not to submit “Two-and-a-Half Men” for Emmy Award consideration (Sheen will no doubt have a different [totally incomprehensible] view) . . . In her new memoir “Lady Blue Eyes: My Life with Frank”, Barbara Sinatra, widow of late legendary crooner Frank Sinatra, describes him as a ‘Jeykll & Hyde personality’ who loved grilled cheese sandwiches, unfiltered Camel cigarettes, and Jack Daniels whisky (how’d the guy ever live to be 82?) . . . “Jersey Shore” star ‘Snooki’ has now lost her driver’s license and is facing a lawsuit after that incident where she crashed into a cop car during filming in Florence, Italy (she’s also wearing a neck brace – likely for insurance purposes) . . . Less than 2 weeks after her split from boxing champ Wladimir Klitschko, actress Hayden Panettiere (“Scream 4”) has been spotted with another pro athlete, NY Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez (of course she hangs with jocks – in “Heroes” she was a high school cheerleader) . . . 22-year-old actress Zoe Kravitz (daughter of actress Lisa Bonet & rocker Lenny Kravitz) and 34-year-old actor Michael Fassbender have apparently become an item while shooting “X-Men: First Class”, which hits theaters this Friday (seems he has a ‘Magneto’ personality) . . . And reps for actress Blake Lively (“Gossip Girl”) claim that the nude pics which have just surfaced online are ‘100% fake’ and legal action will be pursued against anyone publishing them (we’re confused – are the pics fake or what we see in them?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Panic! at the Disco (“Vices & Virtues”). Frontman Brendon Urie broke his ankle during a gig in Pompano Beach, Florida on Saturday while trying to climb back onto the stage after jumping into the crowd.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Robyn performs “Dancing on My Own”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Lykke Li (“Wounded Rhymes”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Soundtrack Of Our Lives (“Origin Vol 2”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – A rerun from “Bob Marley Week” with performances by Jakob Dylan; Lauryn Hill.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – The Twilight Singers perform “On the Corner” (“Dynamite Steps”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Panic! at the Disco (“Vices & Virtues”); Lil Jon (“Crunk Rock”).
• “NBA Finals” (ABC/TSN) – Game 2 (Mavericks vs Heat) from the American Airlines Arena in Miami FL is preceded by a “Jimmy Kimmel Game Night” special.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Iron & Wine (“Kiss Each Other Clean”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – She’s made a public apology after technical problems during her performance at a weekend Tampa Bay Rays baseball game set her off on an R-rated rant that was clearly heard by the 24,000-plus fans. Quote: “I’m truly sorry if anyone was offended by my language.” (This is the state of her career … playing ball parks?)
• Black Eyed Peas – Fergie confirms to Hollyscoop.com that will.i.am is working on a new solo album to be modestly titled “Black Einstein”. His first solo effort, “Songs About Girls”, was released in 2007.
• Carrie Underwood – She says she’s given “American Idol” finalists Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina her phone number and promises to ‘be there’ for them when they kick off their careers in Nashville.
• Coldplay – They’ll digitally release the new single “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” on Friday, except in Britain where it comes out Saturday at midnight. It’s their first new material in 2 years but it’s not clear if it will appear on their upcoming next album.
• Green Day – Billie Joe Armstrong has revealed on Twitter that the band has been jamming new songs every day and the direction is ‘fresh and high energy’. So far there’s no word on when we’ll be hearing any of it.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s sold more than 1 million tickets for his 2011 “Goin’ Coastal Tour”, making it 8 times he’s achieved that mark. Overall, he’s sold nearly 10 million tickets since 2002 … and he took last year off!.
• Metallica – They’ve have been named ‘Most Influential Group of the Last 30 Years’ by British music magazine “Kerrang!”, beating out the likes of Green Day and Foo Fighters.
• New Kids On the Block / Backstreet Boys – Their combined “NKOTBSB Tour” begins tonight in Uncasville CT. The North American Summer trek ends in Edmonton AB July 12th. (Why a tour? Their former jailbait groupies are now 20-to-35.)
• Rihanna – She tells “Cosmopolitan” that men are like hunters … they like the chase. And actually, she says, she’s like that too. She’s recently been romantically linked to actor Colin Farrell.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Friends With Kids” – While there’s no word on a “Bridesmaids” sequel as yet, cast members Chris O’Dowd, Jon Hamm, Kristin Wiig, and Maya Rudolph will be hitting the bigscreen together again in this comedy about a group of family-starting 30-somethings, two of whom find themselves without partners and decide to have a baby together. The flick’s due next year.
• “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” – The trailer for the upcoming US movie version of the bestseller features a musical surprise: Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs teaming with Trent Reznor for a cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”. Reznor, his collaborator Atticus Ross, and director David Fincher are re-teaming after working together on “The Social Network”.
• “Jayne Mansfield’s Car” – Actor and sometime screenwriter Billy Bob Thornton (“Sling Blade”) has penned a new movie to star himself, Dennis Quaid, and Dwight Yoakam as 3 brothers in 1969. All are World War II vets wrestling with their own families as well as the responsibilities of running a large cattle ranch.
• “Low Life” – Joaquin Phoenix & Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard have signed to star in director James Gray’s drama about a Polish woman who’s forced into prostitution when she emigrates to the USA. Jeremy Renner is also in negotiations to take on the role of a cousin who gives the woman a chance to escape her troubled life. Shooting is scheduled to begin next year.
• “The Mortal Instruments” – Lily Collins (daughter of Brit musician Phil Collins) stars in this bigscreen adaptation of Cassandra Clare’s bestselling young adult book series, playing a seemingly ordinary teenager who discovers she’s the descendent of a demon-hunting clan. Producers hope the pic will launch a franchise, as there are 6 novels in the series.

THE UPSIDE OF BEING A PARIAH:
Observers say the differences that cause some students to be outcasts in high school are often the same traits and skills that serve them well after graduation. For instance, ‘geeks’ profit from their technological know-how; ‘emos’ benefit from being empathetic and unafraid to display emotion; ‘skaters’ & ‘punks’ benefit from the creativity they’ve honed; and ‘gamers’ have learned both problem-solving and the ability to collaborate. (‘Hipsters’ have learned to accessorize.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

‘FACTS’ THAT HAVE CHANGED SINCE YOU WERE IN SCHOOL:
• ‘Pluto’ is no longer a full fledged planet, it’s now considered merely a ‘dwarf planet’.
• The fabled lost continent of Atlantis is real and has been sitting in the bottom of some mudflats in Spain for a few thousand years.
• The pyramids weren’t built by slaves; the workers were more likely skilled masons.
• Dinosaurs were not necessarily gigantic lizards; many probably had feathers.
• Arsenic is one of the building blocks of life, alongside carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, sulfur, and phosphorus.
• Humans are not the only animals who use tools, who have complex emotions, and who communicate through complex language.
– Neatorama.com

GAMERS GRUMPY:
News of a premium service for best-selling videogame”Call of Duty” has caused some fans to fly into a rage, claiming gamemaker Activision should not charge monthly fees for online content. The so-called ‘Call of Duty Elite’ service announced this week is a hybrid stat-tracker / social network for players that will debut this Summer. Basic service will be free, but unspecified extras will require a subscription fee. Some see the move as a cash grab. (We see it as ‘nerd tax’.)
– Wired.com

FUN BAG FILLER:
Once you could recognize a Botox user by the immobile expression on her face. Nowadays you may have to discreetly drop your gaze. Instead of expensive surgery, New Zealand women wanting to give their boobs a boost are increasingly turning to Botox, sometimes combined with an injection of filler into the tissue. The filler achieves results similar to surgery and the Botox injections help to ‘iron out any wrinkles’. (Nothing more attractive than a rack filled with cow collagen.)
– “New Zealand Herald”

FOR THE RECORD:
The ‘OMG! Burger’ served by Anaheim, California restaurant The Catch weighs a total of 8 lbs (3.6 kg) including trimmings and sells for $49.95. It’s topped with 10 slices of cheddar cheese and half-a-head of iceberg lettuce. It’s estimated the big burger could feed a party of 6. (Or an entire African country.)
– “Orange County Register”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Psychologists say couples who argue about the same thing over & over again account for about 69% of all quarrels.
– PA News
• Australian bananas are now selling for as much as $17 a kilo ($7.73 per lb) thanks to Cyclone Yasi, which wiped out 75% of the country’s crop this past February.
– “The Australian”

BS CHRONOMETER 06.02.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [70] Charlie Watts, London UK, dinosaur rock drummer (Rolling Stones)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)  BS FACTOID: On this day in 1964, the Stones kicked off their first North American tour at a high school football stadium in Lynn, Massachusetts.

1952 [59] Gary Bettman, Queens NY, NHL commissioner since 1993/former NBA executive

1972 [39] Wayne Brady, Orlando FL, TV personality (“Let’s Make a Deal” since 2009, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” 2007-09, “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2006)

1980 [31] Fabrizio Moretti, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, rock drummer/vocalist (The Strokes-“Under Cover of Darkness”, “Juicebox”)

1983 [28] Chris Higgins, Smithtown NY, NHL forward (Vancouver Canucks)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bubba Day”, honoring those formally named or just informally called ‘Bubba’. (We’re betting most of ‘em live in ‘Dixie’.)

• “Festa della Repubblica” (‘Republic Day’) in Italy, which commemorates the birth of the Repubblica Italiana and the end of the monarchy.

• “Leave the Office Early Day”, a day for pros to work harder, finish quicker, and get home early to spend more time with their families. (Then see if they let you back in the office tomorrow.)

• “Tailors Day”, a day to recognize clothiers committed to fitting, pinning, and altering clothing so that those interested in sartorial strutting can display themselves in style. Tailors were once known as ‘snips’; male tailors were also known as ‘seamsters’. (As opposed to ‘seamstress’.)

• “Yell Fudge At the Cobras in North America Day”. To keep the poisonous snakes off the continent, you’re supposed to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘fudge!’ (Seems to be working!)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1886 [125] Grover Cleveland becomes 1st (& only) US President to marry in the White House

1896 [115] Guglielmo Marconi patents ‘Radio’

1952 [59] Debut of Canadian television (test pattern on Channel 2 Montréal)

1953 [58] 1st ‘Televised Coronation’ of a monarch (Queen Elizabeth II is crowned in Westminster Abbey 16 months after the death of her father, King George VI)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2007 [04] Competitive eater Joey Chestnut sets a new hot dog-eating record by wolfing down 59-and-a-half in 12 minutes (Tempe, Arizona)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “X-Men: First Class” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] Do-Dah Day
[Sat] International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression
[Sat] Trails Day
[Sat] Drawing Day
[Sun] 20th MTV Movie Awards
[Sun] Hot Air Balloon Day
[Sun] Cancer Survivors Day
[Sun] World Environment Day
This Week Is … Sun Safety Week
This Month Is … Potty Training Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

Seven years ago today (2004) Ken Jennings began a run of 74 consecutive wins on the TV game show “Jeopardy!”, eventually winning a record $2.5 million in cash & prizes. In honor of that feat, here are a few …
BS CATEGORIES NEVER USED ON “JEOPARDY!”:
• “Noises Dad Makes”
• “First Cousin Pick-up Lines”
• “Things You Shouldn’t Put In The Microwave”
• “What’s That Rash?”
• “Ways I’d Like to Kick Alex’s Ass”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Go ahead, impress us. Which famous person have you met? OK, how about sorta famous person?

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Do cloned cats have 18 lives?
• Can music pirates get scurvy?
• Is it scientifically possible to keep a pair of sunglasses longer than 3 weeks?
• If you don’t slice the pizza, is it considered 1 piece?
• Do today’s kids build tree condos?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
If your surgeon says your ‘otoplasty’ was successful, which does it mean?
a. Your nose is now shorter.
b. Your ears no longer stick out. [CORRECT]
c. You now have only one chin.
– Halife.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
She was only a whisky-maker but he loved her still.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: You might be able to walk and chew gum or pat your head while rubbing your stomach but researchers guarantee you can’t do THESE 2 things at the same time.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Snore and dream.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Celibacy is not hereditary.


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