Friday, June 2, 2017        Edition: #5988

Ahhhh, It’s Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ After the controversy surrounding the bloody, beheaded image of Donald Trump, it’s Kathy Griffin who’s been cut off … by CNN, Griffin has been fired by the network, which means she will not ring in 2018 with Anderson Cooper.  Her apology clearly wasn’t enough for CNN.
Cooper also lashed out at his former co-host and friend, saying, “For the record, I am appalled by the photo shoot Kathy Griffin took part in. It is clearly disgusting and completely inappropriate.”
Griffin has participated in the New Year’s Eve special since 2007.
-TMZ
★ Hollywood is having a grand time with President Donald Trump’s latest attempt to attack the media. The Prez Tweeted the following from his personal Twitter account early Wednesday morning:  “Despite the constant negative press covfefe” Yes.  ‘C.O.V.F.E.F.E.’  The message was deleted approximately six hours later, which provided a large enough window to cause mass confusion and some whimsical responses. “What makes me saddest is that I know I’ll never write anything funnier than #covfefe,” Jimmy Kimmel tweeted. Amid the flurry of responses hitting the web, George Takei chimed in with, “I must #covfefe, I have no idea what he’s talking about”.
(Now starring in a meme near you!)
-EW
★ Vanessa Hudgens, who showed her dance moves in Disney’s “High School Musical” a decade ago and “Grease Live!” last year, now will be criticizing other people’s skills. Fox has officially announced the “Powerless” alum is set as a judge for the 14th cycle of “So You Think You Can Dance,” which premieres June 12.  Having appeared in a promo for the show a couple of weeks ago, she will make her debut in part 1 of the Los Angeles auditions.
-PageSix
★ Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck split nearly two years ago. But lately it seems to have hit home for Garner.  After filing for divorce in April and seeing Affleck finally move out of their Pacific Palisades mansion in May, it seems that she is still not ready to date. A friends says that Garner still says Ben was the love of her life.
-DailyMail
★ Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban never text one another.  The actress and her country singer husband are ”old school” in their approach to communication, and when she’s away working, she’d rather keep in touch with her friends and family with a phone call instead of a message.  When asked how she keeps up with people when she’s working, she says: ”I call.  People text, and then I text back, ‘Just call me.’ I like the voice. Keith and I don’t ever text. We call.”
(Urban couldn’t be reached for comment.  Because he was on the phone.  With Kidman.)
-ContactMusic
★ Andrew Garfield surprised audience members at a drag queen revue night by wearing a wig and lip syncing to Whitney Houston onstage. As part of an audience participation segment called ‘Wig in a Box’, Andrew got onstage, donned a short curly brown wig and lip synced to Whitney’s hit ‘I’m Every Woman’.  Video footage shared on social media shows the actor, dressed in a striped white and grey T-shirt and black skinny jeans, strutting alongside the stage, dancing and throwing various diva moves, and even performing a backflip.
(Busting out the old Spidey moves, only this time in heels?)
-Toronto Sun
★ Disney bosses have been dropped into some pretty deep hot water after actress Kaya Scodelario revealed her monkey co-star was sick throughout the filming of the new ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie. The actress, who plays Carina Smyth in the new film, ‘Dead Men Tell No Tales’, has been blasted by animal rights campaigners for chuckling her way through interviews as she talked about the sea-sick ape.   In one, she detailed how the monkey threw up all the time. According to Scodelario, when they were filming on the boat, he would “just projectile vomit in the middle of scenes, which I found hilarious.” Her comments and the use of the Capuchin monkey in yet another Pirates film have been blasted by PETA activists.
-Jam.Canoe

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): U2 ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Salma Hayek, Mike Birbiglia, Clean Bandit and Zara Larsson ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jon Stewart, Samantha Bee, John Oliver, Ed Helms, Rob Corddry ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV):Tracy Morgan, Michael McKean, Sen. Ben Sasse ( R )
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Adam Scott, Michael Pena, Bea Miller ( R )
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Ne-Yo, Bonobo, Ari Graynor ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Star Jones, Vanessa Williams, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Come From Away”
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ed Helms, Lawrence Saint-Victor
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Cat Deeley
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): The most touching and inspiring stories from Season 14
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Caitlyn Becker, Valerie Greenberg ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Mark Cuban, Leighton Meester, Candice Thompson ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Kristos Andrews, Erik Fellows, Derrell Whit, guest co-host Mel B. ( R )
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Auditions 1” Contestants of all ages audition for the chance to win the $1 million prize.

SATURDAY:
• “World of Dance” (NBC): “The Qualifiers 1” Elite dance acts from all ages and dance genres enter the arena to showcase their artistry.
• “2017 NHL Finals” (CBC, SN, NBCSN): Pittsburgh at Nashville in game 3

SUNDAY:
• “2017 NBA Finals” (ABC, SN, SN1): Cleveland at Golden State in Game 2

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Tragically Hip – have purchased a marijuana grow-op. In a note to fans posted on their website, they note that the company is called ‘Newstrik’e and the band has “decided that this company – and the many creative people in it – are a perfect fit for The Hip.  Medicinal cannabis is legal in Canada.
• Gregg Allman – his private funeral service and burial will take place on Saturday in Macon, Ga.  Allman’s family wants only 75-100 people at the service.  His wishes were that attire be casual.
• Ariana Grande – has announced the lineup for her Manchester benefit concert this Sunday.  Grande will be joined by Justin Bieber, Coldplay, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Pharrell Williams, Usher, Take That, Niall Horan, and others in the show at the Emirates Old Trafford Cricket Ground.
• Drake – Jennifer Lopez might have just let it slip that Drake was her “booty call” during a recent show. She was performing on stage when Drizzy’s “Hotline Bling” tune began to play.   JLo paused for a second before remarking, “Huh, booty call.” She then tossed her head back ‘diva style’ and continued on with the rest of her concert.  The two were rumored to be together earlier this year.
• Bruce Springsteen — made a surprise appearance at a Steven Van Zandt solo show at New Jersey’s Count Basie Theatre.  The boss joined the E Street band guitarist for an impromptu jam. During the show’s encore, the fans got even more than they paid for when Springsteen appeared on stage again to perform “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out”.
• Foo Fighters – continued to perform their show-closer, “Everlong”, at the Bottlerock Festival in Napa Valley, CA after organizers pulled the plug on power due to a strict 10pm local curfew.  When the event’s sound system was shut down during a natural pause in song, Dave Grohl and company kept playing and, as the audience realized what was happening, they joined in to help finish the song. (No real rock band would obey a 10pm curfew!)
• Ozzy Osbourne – leads the lineup of this year’s ‘Louder Than Life Festival’. Ozzy will be headlining the first night of the two day event on September 30th at Champions Park in Louisville, KY.
• David Gilmour – fans will have a one-night-only opportunity to attend theatrical screenings of the former Pink Floyd guitarist’s historic performances in Pompeii. Gilmour’s Live at Pompeii’ concert movie, filmed during his two July 2016 concerts in the ancient Pompeii Amphitheater, will appear at more than 2,000 theaters worldwide on Sept.
• Chris Stapleton – has postponed a string of “All American Road Show” tour dates through June 17, including a performance at the 2017 CMA Music Festival. No reason for the postponements was given in a statement on Stapleton’s website.
• Kelsea Ballerini – is among the ‘special award’ winners announced for The Academy of Country Music Awards.  The event will take place August 23 at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. Special honorees for the 52nd Academy of Country Music Awards also include Eric Church, Toby Keith, Bob Kingsley, Reba McEntire, Nashville, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, Shel Silverstein and George Strait.

OPENING TODAY IN MOVIE THEATERS:
• “Wonder Woman” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): Before she was Wonder Woman she was Diana, princess of the Amazons, trained warrior. When a pilot crashes and tells of conflict in the outside world, she leaves home to fight a war to end all wars, discovering her full powers and true destiny. (Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Robin Wright, Lucy Davis)
• “Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie” (PG, Animation/Comedy): Two overly imaginative pranksters named George and Harold, hypnotize their principal into thinking he’s a ridiculously enthusiastic, incredibly dimwitted superhero named Captain Underpants. (Kevin Hart, Thomas Middleditch, Ed Helms, Nick Kroll)
• “Dean” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama): Dean is a New York illustrator who falls hard for an LA woman while trying to prevent his father from selling the family home in the wake of his mother’s death. (Demetri Martin, Kevin Kline, Gillian Jacobs, Mary Steenburgen)
• “Vincent N Roxxy” (Not Rated, Drama): A small town loner and a rebellious punk rocker unexpectedly fall in love as they are forced on the run and soon discover violence follows them everywhere. (Emile Hirsch, Zoë Kravitz, Zoey Deutch, Emory Cohen)
• “Band Aid” (Not Rated, Comedy): A couple who can’t stop fighting embark on a last-ditch effort to save their marriage: turning their fights into songs and starting a band. ( Zoe Lister-Jones, Adam Pally, Fred Armisen, Erinn Hayes)
• “I, Daniel Blake” (R-Rated, Art House/Drama): After suffering a heart-attack, a 59-year-old carpenter must fight the bureaucratic forces of the system in order to receive Employment and Support Allowance. (Dave Johns, Hayley Squires, Sharon Percy)

BOOZE=BAD DECISIONS.  WHO KNEW?
It is pretty much an accepted fact that if you drink a lot, eventually you will probably gain some weight.  They don’t call it a ‘beer belly’ for nothing.  But new light has been shed on the relationship between alcohol and weight gain.  And it might come as a bit of a surprise how booze affects your shape.  New research from Harvard says that weight gain due to alcohol isn’t so much the actual calorie-count of the booze that you drink, but the poor decisions that you make after imbibing.  And the next day.  So basically: you get drunk, you make bad decisions. We’ve all been there. Out with friends, and someone gets the bright idea to end the night with a burger, fries and a shake.  Or a pizza.  A whole pizza.  Each. Then you wake up the next morning feeling groggy with an upset stomach and the only thing that will make it right is a nice greasy breakfast, with extra bacon. Plus a stack of pancakes and a half-gallon of syrup.  And if it’s a buffet, all the better.  So, the good news is that adding in that extra glass of Merlot (or three) isn’t as bad for your waistline as we might have believed.  The bad news is we now know that after those three glasses, no one can be trusted.
(Also, you are rarely compelled to hit the gym after drinking on the deck in the sun all afternoon…)
(That 26-ouncer might make you gain even more than 26 ounces!)
-MSN

A BOY AND HIS GRILL:
Here are some common mistakes that we make when trying to barbecue dinner.  Pay attention and you won’t be serving up hockey pucks this weekend!
• Not Brushing the Grill:  Grill grates are not self-cleaning.  Bits of charred flesh get stuck to them, and if you don’t remove them, they will remain to attach themselves to your next rack of ribs.  Ancient charred meat is not a pleasant flavor. (Although it does sound intriguing, doesn’t it?)
• Not Properly Heating the Grill:  You know those gorgeous rows of sear marks that you aspire to bring to every burger? Those only happen with the grill grates themselves have time to get as hot as the fire.  Cover the grill for five or 10 minutes after lighting.  (Or buy burgers with the sear marks already added…)
• Not Investing in a Digital Grill Thermometer:   It is an easy and reliable way to tell if food has reached a temperature that’s safe for consumption.  (Unless you like to live dangerously…)
• Cooking Meat Until There’s No Pink Left Anywhere: Pink chicken is bad. Don’t eat or serve that. But any red meat might retain some pink tissue even after reaching a safe minimum temperature.  (That’s why they call it ‘red’)
• Never Grilling Vegetables: You’re not doing yourself any favors if you’ve never eaten grilled asparagus or an ear of grilled corn. Zucchini is another favorite, and it develops beautiful grill marks when prepared correctly.  (Plus if you are having a vegetarian over for dinner…)
• Not Resting Your Steaks: This has less to do with flavor or juiciness than it has to do with food safety.  During the rest time after grilling, the meat’s temperature remains constant or continues to rise, which destroys harmful germs.  (I’ll let it rest…in my belly!)
• Applying Barbecue Sauce Way Too Early:  Barbecue sauce doesn’t really “seep into” meat.  The best you can do is coat a piece of meat in barbecue sauce, and that’s best done toward the end of the cooking process.  Otherwise, the sauce will caramelize and burn.  Not good.  (It doesn’t seep in?  Now I must question everything I thought to be true.)
• Not Adding Moisture to Chicken:  Left on its own, chicken dries to a husk during cooking.  Brine the chicken, use a marinade, or continuously baste the meat throughout the cooking process to keep it moist and delicious.  (How about barbeque sauce?  Just let it seep right in there….)
• Letting the Fire Touch Your Meat:  Flare-ups are a natural part of any grilling experience, but you need to stand ready to react. If a tongue of flame shoots out at your burger, move the burger.  Hope you like the taste of soot!  (That’s exactly why I always keep a beer handy when barbecuing.  Well, one of the reasons…)
(So follow these handy tips and keep your spouse from getting all up in your grill!)
-Urbo.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.02.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [76] Charlie Watts, London UK, classic rock drummer (Rolling Stones)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)
1955 [62] Dana Carvey, Missoula, MT, movie actor (“Saturday Night Live” alumnus, ‘Garth’ in “Wayne’s World” )
1961 [56] Liam Cunningham, Dublin, Ireland, TV actor (‘Davos Seaworth’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2012)
1968 [49] Andy Cohen, St. Louis, MO, TV host (“Watch What Happens Live”, becoming the first openly gay late night talk-show host.
1972 [45] Wentworth Miller, Chipping Norton, UK, TV actor (“Michael Scofield” in “Prison Break”)
1972 [45] Wayne Brady, Orlando FL, TV personality (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” /1998-2006/ 2013-present, “Let’s Make a Deal” since 2009, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” 2007-09)
1977 [40] Zachary Quinto, Pittsburgh PA, movie actor (‘Spock’ in “Star Trek” movies)/TV actor (“American Horror Story: Asylum” 2012-13, “Heroes” 2006-10)
1980 [37] Fabrizio Moretti, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, rock drummer-vocalist (The Strokes – “Last nite”, “Juicebox”)

SATURDAY:
1931 [86]  Raúl Castro, Biran, Cuba, President of Cuba since 2008/younger brother of Fidel Castro
1946 [71] Penelope Wilton, Scarborough UK, TV actress (‘Isobel Crawley’ on “Downton Abbey” since 2010)/movie actress (“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” films)
1967 [50] Anderson Cooper, NYC, TV news correspondent (“Anderson Cooper 360″ since 2003, “60 Minutes” since 2007)
1986 [31] Rafael Nadal, Manacor, Spain, #4-ranked men’s pro tennis player (formerly #1)

SUNDAY:
Movie Actor Bruce Dern (“Nebraska”) is 81;  Alt-rock bassist Stefan Lessard (Dave Matthews Band) is 43; Movie actor/comedian Russell Brand (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) is 42;  Movie Actress Angelina Jolie (“Maleficent”, “Girl-Interrupted” is 42; Country singer Kasey Chambers (“Nothing At All”) is 41; TV actor/comedian TJ Miller (“Silicon Valley”) is 36; Fashion model Bar Refaeli (“Sports Illustrated” “Maxim”) is 32

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Rocky Road Day”, saluting the ice cream flavor thats made with chocolate ice cream, nuts, and marshmallows.  (Immortalized by ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic in his Joan Jett parody, ‘I Love Rocky Road’).

•  “Bubba Day”, honoring those formally named or just informally called ‘Bubba’. (We’re betting most of ‘em live in ‘Dixie’.)  A quick search for famous ‘Bubba’s reveals that all of the top 12 are nicknamed (rather than born with the name) Bubba, including Bill ‘Bubba’ Clinton, Charles ‘Bubba’ Smith and Gerry ‘Bubba’ Watson Jr.
•  “Yell Fudge At the Cobras in North America Day”. To keep the poisonous snakes off the continent, you’re supposed to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘fudge!’ Seems to be working.
• “Rotisserie Chicken Day” , This delicious style of chicken is cooked whole on a rotisserie or spit that turns continuously over a heat source, roasting it slowly. This sears the skin to seal in the flavor, resulting in a tender and juicy chicken. (And the dog laying around the kitchen all day, drooling).
• “Leave The Office Early Day”,  an incentive to many who often work more than 40 hours each week.  (And of course today will be the one day that the boss doesn’t!)
• “Donut Day”, on the first Friday in June, people participate in National Doughnut or Donut Day.  This day celebrates the doughnut and honors the Salvation Army Lassies, the women who served doughnuts to soldiers during WWI.

SATURDAY:
• “Chocolate Macaroon Day”, with a rich creamy chocolate filling and a light coating, they’re the perfect combination of textures. Chocolate Macaroon Day celebrates this delicious treat and encourages you to indulge in them!
• “Repeat Day”, Repeat Day is an opportunity to do things over and over again. Repeat Day is an opportunity to do things over and over again.  Remember how yesterday was National Donut Day?  Begin repeating.
• “Prairie Day”, to recognize one of the richest ecosystems on the face of the earth.  You know what this Prairie needs?  A Little House on it.

SUNDAY:
•  “Cheese Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of the creation of the first Roquefort cheese, made from ewes’ milk and ripened in a cave near Roquefort, France in the year 1070. It’s the perfect excuse to indulge yourself with a slice of your favorite.  (First rule of cheese?  There is no such thing as too much cheese.)
• “Cognac Day”, a well-known variety of brandy, Cognac was named after the town of Cognac in France.  It is produced in the wine-growing region which surrounds the town from which it takes its name.
• “Old Maid’s Day”, While the term was once considered a degrading one, National Old Maid’s Day celebrates Old Maids everywhere and their contributions to their families and communities.  While they may be single, it does not mean they are solitary.  Today, Old Maids are often career oriented, postponing marriage and motherhood by choice or by circumstance. (Also, they probably don’t like being called that…)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1953 [64] Coronation of 27-year-old Queen Elizabeth II, one of the first international news events given live minute-by-minute TV coverage (UK’s longest-reigning monarch)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2000 [17] Tim McGraw is named ‘Father of the Year’ by the National Fatherhood Institute

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2003 [14] European Space Agency’s 1st voyage to another planet, as the ‘Mars Express’ probe is launched from the space center in Kazakhstan

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [13] Contestant Ken Jennings begins his record 74-game winning streak on TV game show “Jeopardy!”

BULL’S BITS

SENSATIONAL SIGNAGE:
What’s the most inventive yard sale sign you’ve seen? A sampling of real signs spotted …
✓ “Is it a Yard Sale or a Really Inexpensive Department Store?”
✓ “Hoarder’s Paradise”
✓ “Our Husbands Are Making Us Sell Stuff Yard Sale.”
✓ “Going to Jail Sale”
✓ “Garage Sale. You will be like, “Shut up and take my money.”
✓ “Spoiled Kid Sale”
✓ “Dead People’s Things For Sale”
✓ “Crap You May Need!”
✓ “Divorce Sale. Anything not sold will be burned to a crisp.”
✓ “OMG, Becky! Look At That Sale … It’s So Big!”
– Sourced from List 25.com, first published in ‘BS’ in 2015

BS AMAZING FACT:
Research has shown that people are happiest at 7:26pm on Saturday night.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎What’s the most statistically improbable thing that’s ever happened to you?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t work here.  I’m a consultant.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Every spring, THIS ends up costing some parents $900. What is it?
The Answer: Prom.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Two CAN live as cheaply as one … but for half as long.


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