Tuesday, June 21, 2011        Edition: #4532
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
25-year-old former TV star Frankie Muniz (“Malcolm In the Middle”) says he’s planning to run for public office in his adopted state of Arizona within the next 5 years (Senator Malcolm?) . . . Despite recent rumors, “Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe says he doesn’t think JK Rowling will write more ‘Potter’ books, but if she does he’s not really interested in reprising his role (“Harry Potter & The Rusted Walker”) . . . FOX-TV hit “Glee” has hired 6 more writers, two of whom are finally female (can you tell they’ve run out of ideas on what to do with a high school full of 25-year-olds?) . . . “Daily Mail” is reporting 25-year-old actress Megan Fox was fired from “Transformers: Dark Of the Moon” after comparing director Michael Bay to Adolf Hitler, thereby enraging producer Steven Spielberg (the film opens June 29th – with Brit model Rosie Huntingdon-Whitley) . . . 77-year-old Australian comedian Barry Humphries, most famous for his stand-up routines as ‘Dame Edna’, is the latest addition to “The Hobbit” movie, playing the ‘Goblin King’ with the help of motion capture technology (but not a dress) . . . Former “Lost” actress Evangeline Lilly has also joined “The Hobbit” cast, portraying a new character called ‘Tauriel’ (the Middle Earth word for ‘Eye Candy’) . . . Another celeb is losing money on California real estate, Sylvester Stallone listing his lakeside Thousand Oaks home for $4.5 million, $400,000 less than he paid for it in 2008 (thus explaining the need for “The Expendables 2”) . . . And reality TV stars Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian are hoping to release a perfume together named ‘Dashing’, but Kim says it will be ‘hard work’ because they all have such different tastes (OMG, that must be grueling!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Florence & The Machine (“Lungs”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Pitbull (today he releases his 6th album, “Planet Pit”, which features collaborations with Chris Brown, Kelly Rowland, Marc Anthony, and Ne-Yo).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Big Sean (“Finally Famous: The Album”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Drive-By Truckers (“Go-Go Boots”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Darren Criss (“Glee”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Augustana (“Augustana”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Child prodigy Jackie Evancho (“Dream With Me”); Marc Anthony (“Iconos”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – Contestant coaches Adam Levine & Christina Aguilera perform “Moves Like Jagger”, the new Maroon 5 single. The studio version is released on iTunes following the show.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – The “Rolling In the Deep” singer is now on doctors’ orders not to speak or sing for a month since a stubborn bout of laryngitis refuses to clear up. She recently quit smoking & drinking in a bid to save her voice, but gave up after finding the healthier lifestyle ‘grim’.
• *NSYNC – Lance Bass has put together a new VH1 talent show in which former pop stars AJ Mclean (Backstreet Boys), Bobby Brown (New Edition), Joey Fatone (*NSYNC), and Joey McIntyre (NKOTB) each put together a new boy-band to go head-to-head in competition.
• Ozzy Osbourne – Wife Sharon says he’s been sending suggestive text messages to her while on tour in Europe. That’s apparently out of character … at first she thought someone had stolen his phone.
• Ronnie Dunn – The now solo former half of country duo Brooks & Dunn says the best thing about going it alone is that he has his own stage … and there’s no hat in his way!
• Susan Boyle – The life of the 50-year-old Scottish singer who found fame on “Britain’s Got Talent” in 2009, is being made into a stage musical which will tour at least the UK next year.
• Vanessa Carlton – Today the singer/songwriter releases her 4th studio album, “Rabbits On the Run”. She’s currently on the road with a series of concert dates in support.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Adjustment Bureau” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Matt Damon plays a rising politician who falls for a ballet dancer (Emily Blunt), which displeases the world’s puppet-masters. Adapted from Phillip K Dick’s short story “The Adjustment Team”. Shot in NYC.
• “Cedar Rapids” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Ed Helms (“The Hangover”) plays a naive small-town insurance agent who attends his first-ever convention, where 3 convention veterans show him the ropes in the ‘big city’. Co-stars John C Reilly, Sigourney Weaver, Anne Heche.
• “Diary Of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules” ( PG Comedy ): In this sequel to last year’s hit, ‘Greg’ and his older brother ‘Rodrick’ try to deal with their parents’ misguided attempts to have them bond. Stars Zachary Gordon, Devon Bostick.
• “The Eagle” ( PG-13 Historical Adventure ): Channing Tatum plays a Roman soldier in 140 AD who embarks on a quest to restore the reputation of his father, the one-time commander of Rome’s 9th Legion who disappeared 20 years earlier. Co-stars Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland.
• “Unknown” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Liam Neeson stars as a man who awakens after a car accident in Berlin to discover that his wife (January Jones) suddenly doesn’t recognize him and another man (Aidan Quinn) has assumed his identity.
• Also released today: “Anti-Nazi Classics: Four Films About Nazi Germany” (Box Set); “The Closer: The Complete 6th Season” (TV); “Living in Emergency: Stories of Doctors Without Borders” (Documentary); “Medium: The Final Season” (TV); “Orgasm Inc” (Documentary); and “Squidbillies: Volume 4” (Animation).

FOOLS FOR LOVE?
A new MIT study suggests that men are the first to say ‘I love you’ in relationships (after 97 days on average) but it’s not always what women want to hear because … they don’t trust them. Men begin thinking about professing their love fully 6 weeks earlier than women and although men say ‘those 3 words’ first 61.5% of the time, their motivation is often suspected. Bottom line: Women actually prefer it when males wait to get serious. (It helps if you say “I love you, ____ and get her name right.)
– DailyMail.co.uk

NOW GUYS CAN FEEL PREGNANT TOO:
Takuya Iwamoto at Japan’s Advanced Institute of Science & Technology has created a virtual pregnancy outfit that simulates the interior kicking and wriggling experienced by expectant moms. The device can replicate a 9-month pregnancy in just 2 minutes or can be worn for a longer period to experience what it feels like day-to-day. To mimic the fetus, it uses a 4-liter bag filled with warm water. Kicking movement is created with a lining of 45 balloons that expand and contract. (You can experience an entire pregnancy in 2 minutes … do you hear moms snorting?)
– NewScientist.com

SIMPLE STEPS TO KEEP YOUR SMARTPHONE SECURE:
• Avoid Iffy Apps – Only download applications from sites you trust and only after checking each apps’ rating and reading user reviews to make sure it is widely used and respected.
• Be Careful in Unsecured Hotspots – Public Wi-Fi hotspots transmit your data over-the-air, so when you enter your password or credit card details, others can potentially see it.
• Block Spyware from Watching You – Search for ‘mobile security’ and download a free app that will stop you from inadvertently downloading viruses onto your device.
• Set a Password – Without one, anyone within an arm’s length can swipe your phone and start reading your email, text messages, or listen to your voicemail.
• Watch for Suspicious Links – Users are 3 times more likely to click on a suspicious link on their phone than on their PC, according to a recent study.
– RD.com

JAPAN CRACKS DOWN ON CYBERCRIME:
A new law that criminalizes the creation or distribution of a computer virus has been enacted by Japan’s parliament. Those charged under the law face paying $6,200 in bail and spending up to 3 years in jail. The law also includes provisions against sending pornographic images to random people. Japan is the first country to enact and implement such a law. (They could call it the ‘Weiner Law’.)
– Technabob.com

THE WOODS ARE LOVELY, DARK, AND DEEP:
Forest density is increasing across much of the world after decades of decline, according to a new study. Researchers from the University of Helsinki and New York’s Rockefeller University say that has positive implications for both carbon capture and climate change. Stats show that forests are thickening in 45 of 68 countries studied, which together account for 72% of global forests. (Finally, some good environmental news!)
– “The Independent”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 80% of British office workers regularly take tea/coffee breaks, compared to 69% of Canadians and 43% of Americans.
• 76% of women, but only 46% of men are likely to have made their bed this morning.
• 55% of women & 45% of men are dissatisfied with their appearance.
• 38% of teenage boys admit they’ve tried on a bra at least once, just to see what it looks like.
• 33% of adults still think a woman who doesn’t take her husband’s surname is ‘less committed to the marriage’.
• 18% of us have a favorite pen.

DID YOU KNOW?
The longest yawning attack recorded persisted for 5 weeks.

BS CHRONOMETER 06.21.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [61] Joey Kramer, NYC, rock drummer (Aerosmith-“I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”, “Dream On”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1951 [60] Nils Lofgren, Chicago IL, classic rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band-“Born In the USA”, “Born to Run”)

1964 [47] Doug Savant, Burbank CA, TV actor (‘Tom Scavo’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

1976 [35] Mike Einziger, LA CA, alt-rock guitarist (Incubus-“Anna-Molly”, “Drive”)

1979 [32] Chris Pratt, Virginia MN, TV actor (‘Andy Dwyer’ on “Parks & Recreation’ since 2009)

1981 [30] Brandon Flowers, Henderson NV, pop/rock singer/keyboardist (The Killers-“Human”, “When You Were Young”)

1982 [29] Prince William (William Arthur Philip Louis Windsor), London UK, #1 son of Prince Charles & the late Princess Diana/married to Kate Middleton (Duchess of Cambridge)/2nd-in-line to the British throne after his dad

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Aboriginal Day” in Canada, established in 1996 by Indian & Northern Affairs Canada as a special day to celebrate the unique heritage, cultures and contributions of First Nations, Inuit & Metis people in Canada.
NET: http://www.ainc-inac.gc.ca/nad/index-eng.asp

• “Atheists Solidarity Day”, a day of awareness when atheists everywhere are encouraged to be open about their lack of belief in god and not fear harmful consequences.
NET: http://www.atheistnexus.org/group/atheistsolidarity

• “Baby Boomers Recognition Day”, a special day to commemorate the accomplishments of ol’ farts everywhere.

• “Go Skateboarding Day”, an unofficial annual holiday conceived by the International Association of Skateboard Companies to promote boarding.

• “Midnight Sun Baseball Classic”, the 106th annual in Fairbanks, Alaska which begins at 10:30 pm without artificial lights, because these days Alaskans are enjoying 22 hours of direct sunlight daily.
NET: http://bit.ly/9yMpar

• “Summer” officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere with the Summer Solstice at 1:17 pm EDT. It’s the date with the longest day and shortest night of the year. That’s why today’s also been tagged “Daylight Appreciation Day”. The Sun does not set at the North Pole today as there are 24 hours of sunlight. ‘Solstice’ comes from the Latin words ‘sol’ (sun) and ‘sistit’ (stands).

• “Summer Solstice” in the Northwest Territories, Canada’s land of the Midnight Sun, celebrated variously as “Midnight Madness” in Inuvik, “Raven Mad Daze” in Yellowknife and “Longest Day Celebrations” in Fort Simpson. All feature music, dance, food, sports … and sunburns.

• “World Handshake Day” … but only after you use your hand sanitizer okay?

• “World Humanist Day”, a day for spreading awareness of Humanism as a philosophy and means to effect change. Humanism is a comprehensive life stance that upholds human reason, ethics, and justice, and rejects supernaturalism, pseudo-science, and superstition.

Today is also …
• “Aimless Wandering Day”. Finally, someone’s taken an interest in my career!
• “Cancer the Crab” zodiac sign begins.
• “Pick Up Some Litter Day”. Great idea, but make sure it’s not the kitty’s!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [08] “Harry Potter & The Order Of the Phoenix” (book 5) is released in bookstores and grosses more than the heavily-hyped movie opening of “Hulk”, a feat unprecedented in publishing

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [11] ‘World’s Longest Bench’ is unveiled at a flower show in Japan, measuring 1,832 feet and seating 900 people (the next day, the world’s largest collection of chewing gum wads is found stuck underneath the world’s largest bench)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Stupid Guy Thing Day
[Thurs] Let It Go Day
[Thurs] Public Service Day
[Fri] “Bad Teacher”; “Cars 2” open in movie theaters
[Fri] 25th Toronto Jazz Festival begins
[Fri] Fête National (QC)
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Fri] Celebration Of the Senses
[Fri] International Fairy Day
[Fri] Ugliest Dog Day
[Sat] Montréal Jazz Festival begins
This Week Is … Carpenter Ant Awareness Week
This Month Is … Audio Book Appreciation Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WORST SUMMER JOBS:
What’s the most awful thing you had to do to make money? Likely nothing this bad …
• Store Window Installer, Vancouver.
• Amy Winehouse Life Coach.
• Portable Toilet Cleaner, Glastonbury.
• Minister of Finance, Greece.
• Zach Galifianakis’ Beard Detangler.
• Highway Department Roadkill Taster.
• Snooki’s Slop Bucket Cleaner.
• Satellite Dish Salesman, Amish Country.
• Lady Gaga Jockstrap Launderer.
• President of Yemen.

BS PHONER STARTER:
What odd thing do you keep track of? “FT Magazine” reports a growing number of us are collecting and correlating data about ourselves. These self-trackers or ‘Quantified Selfers’ keep detailed stats, ie: graphing the weight of their family members over a period of years.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which animal has the largest eyes?
a. Blue Whale.
b. Giant Squid. [CORRECT]
c. Bambi.
– “Land ‘O Useless Facts”

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• It’s the first day of summer, the day the department of highways closes all the good roads and opens all the detours.
• It’s summertime and the livin’ is easy … if you’ve got a kid to mow your lawn.
• It’s the first day of summer, an excellent time to begin your spring cleaning.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, THIS is surprisingly the best way for a man to break the ice with a woman.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Introduce himself. (“Maxim”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
What you don’t do is always more important than what you do.