Friday, June 22, 2012         Edition: #4771

Ahhhh, It’s Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tonight 78-year-old legendary Australian performer Dame Edna (Barry Humphries) kicks off a 2-month farewell tour in Canberra, after entertaining audiences for almost 60 years (one of the all-time great drag queens!) . . . Sunday the Broadway revival of the musical “Godspell” is set to close, just 7 months after it opened at the Circle In the Square Theatre (the original was a huge hit back in 1971) . . . “Us Weekly” reports the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton) keeps her hair looking so full by having $75 volume-filled blowouts at her favorite salon 2-to-3 times a week (are ‘volume-filled blowouts’ a good thing?) . . . Simon Cowell has sparked suggestions he’s gone under the knife for a ‘neck lift’ after he was pictured hiding a mystery cut behind his ear with a bandage (he should also look into an ‘ego reduction’) . . . 33-year-old actor Vincent Kartheiser, ‘Pete Campbell’ on “Mad Men”, is reportedly dating his onscreen lover, 30-year-old actress Alexis Bledel, in real life (she plays  electroshock enthusiast ‘Beth’) . . . CBS-TV has circulated a fake press release for a new spoof show called “Dancing On the Stars” (if only their sitcoms were so clever) . . . And Kristen Stewart tops the new “Forbes” magazine ranking of ‘Highest-Paid Hollywood Actresses’, surpassing Cameron Diaz and Sandra Bullock by earning $34.5 million over the past year (enough moolah to finally make her smile …. naw!).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Fox’s 25th Anniversary Special” (FOX): Sunday highlights from iconic FOX-TV series and tributes to memorable moments; celebrities honor the network. Rerun.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Michael Bublé (photobook “Onstage, Offstage”).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Today Mary J Blige (“Rock Of Ages”).
• Isle of Wight Festival (UK) – The weekend line-up includes Biffy Clyro, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds and, in their first major British show in 20 years, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight fun. (“Some Nights”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Gossip (“A Joyful Noise”). Rerun.
• River’s Edge Music Festival (St Paul MN) – Dave Matthews Band and Tool headline this new event on Harriet Island. Also lined up for the Saturday-Sunday gig: Brand New, Coheed & Cambria, Delta Spirit, The Flaming Lips, MuteMath, and many more.
• Rockapalooza (Jackson MI) – Saturday MTV’s Bam Margera & Brandon Novak host this 5th annual rock fest that features Puddle Of Mudd, Rehab, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, and others.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Jonah Hill (“21 Jump Street”); musical guest The Shins (“Port of Morrow”). Rerun.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Kenny Chesney (“Welcome To the Fishbowl”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Everclear (“Invisible Stars”, out Tuesday).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Elvis Presley – This weekend the crypt in which his was first laid to rest before being moved to Graceland goes under the hammer in a ‘Music Icons’ sale by Julien’s Auctions in Beverly Hills, California. Bidding starts at $100,000. The 2-day sale also includes clothing worn by Amy Winehouse, David Bowie, Keith Richards, John Lennon, and Michael Jackson.
NET: http://www.juliensauctions.com
• Josh Turner – His 5th studio album, “Punching Bag”, tops the new “Billboard” magazine ‘Country Albums’ chart.
• Lady Gaga – She’s been spotted hanging out with her off-again/on-again boyfriend Taylor Kinney while on tour in Australia.
• Linkin Park – A new song called “Powerless” plays over the end credits of the new movie “Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”. The track comes from their album, “Living Things”, out Tuesday.
• Metallica – Their own 2-day festival, “Orion Music+More”, goes this weekend in Atlantic City, New Jersey. They headline both nights and play their classic ‘Black Album’ in its entirety. Also on the bill: Arctic Monkeys, Best Coast, Cage The Elephant, Modest Mouse, and others.
• Miranda Lambert – Today she’s headed home to Beaumont, Texas to headline the 5th annual “Cause For the Paws” concert benefitting her stray dog charity MuttNation Foundation. Opening acts are Wade Bowen and the Josh Abbott Band.
• Usher – He’s scored his 4th #1 album this week as “Looking 4 Myself” tops the chart, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Meanwhile, veteran rockers Rush start off at #2 this week with “Clockwork Angels”.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:

• “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” ( R-Rated Action Fantasy ): Who knew? The 16th president of the United States kills vampires in his spare time. Yep, when ‘Honest Abe’ discovers vampires are planning to take over America, he makes it his personal mission to eliminate them. Benjamin Walker and Rufus Sewell star in this weird tale in 3-D.
NET: http://www.abelincolnvampirehunter.com
• “Brave” ( PG Family Adventure ): Pixar’s 13th feature-length animated film is its first-ever fairytale. Set in a mythical version of ancient Scotland, a warrior princess wields her bow-and-arrow while battling a curse. Voice cast includes Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Craig Ferguson.
NET: http://disney.go.com/brave/?cmp=wdsmp_brv_url_dcombrave
• “Seeking a Friend For the End Of the World” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Comedy ): As an asteroid nears Earth, a man finds himself alone after his wife leaves in a panic. He decides to take a road trip to reunite with his high school sweetheart. Accompanying him is a neighbor who inadvertently puts a wrench in his plan. Stars Steve Carell, Keira Knightley, Melinda Dillon.
NET: http://focusfeatures.com/seeking_a_friend_for_the_end_of_the_world
• Opening in limited release: “Grassroots”; “The Invisible War”; “Kumaré”; “Stella Days”; and “To Rome With Love”.

GREASE IS THE WORD:

Environmentalists have been powering their diesel cars with used cooking oil for years, but now it’s starting to be used to power airliners. Aviation fuel is actually quite similar to diesel, so using a bio-fuel blend seems like a natural fit. Last year, Alaska Airlines ran some tests using a 20% bio-fuel blend, and now Air Canada has upped the ante by going with a 50/50 blend of jet fuel and used cooking oil for a flight from Toronto to Mexico City. It went without a hitch, and by using the ‘B-50’ blend the plane’s emissions were cut by at least 40%. (Unfortunately, the exhaust smelled like Chinese take-out.)
– Treehugger.com

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:

• Columbus OH – The state of Ohio is now seeking alternative slogans for a ‘Superman’-themed vehicle license plate to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the ‘Man of Steel’. The idea was to have the plate captioned ‘Birthplace of Superman’, but Warner Bros and DC Comics rejected that idea because it might cause confusion about the character’s true origin … the planet ‘Krypton’.
– UPI.com
• Mumbai, India – An Indian High Court has ordered members of a ‘Laughter Yoga’ club to restrain their joy. The case was brought by a 78-year-old lawyer and his family after an informal yoga club started meeting in a lakeside gazebo by their bungalow. They complained that as many as 30 devotees gathered outside their home every morning at 6 am and started clapping and encouraging one another to … laugh louder.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Laleham, England – In Britain, cops stormed into a village pub called The Feathers, which was advertising ‘Live Music From 4am’. Two police officers and two licencing officers showed up at the Surrey establishment, seeking to put a stop to the middle-of-the-night performance which would violate local curfew laws. But the wannabe do-gooders were forced to skulk away shamefaced after being informed that … ‘4am’ was just the name of a local band.
– Orange.co.uk

3-D MATRIMONY:

The first wedding pics ever taken with ultra high-definition 3-D cameras have recorded the nuptials of Julia & Stuart (no last name given) at the Mirador Estate in Montecito, California. RED Epic cameras were used, the same ones Ridley Scott used to film “Prometheus” and Peter Jackson is using for “The Hobbit”. The wedding video was shot in stereoscopic 3-D on 5K resolution. No actual photos were taken as each video frame can be extracted as a high resolution 3-D still image. (Hopefully Julia & Stuart had a 3-D TV in their wedding registry.)
– Gizmodo.com

THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM:

Brand-research company Buyology has run a research study to find out how Republicans differ from Democrats in America, other than just politics. A few of their respective preferences …
✓ Coffee: Dunkin’ Donuts (Republicans); Starbucks (Democrats).
✓ Car: BMW (Republicans); Jeep (Democrats).
✓ Fast Food: Subway (Republicans); Wendy’s (Democrats).
✓ TV: The History Channel (Republicans); Animal Planet (Democrats).
✓ Sport: Major League Baseball (Republicans); National Football League (Democrats).
✓ Gaming System: Xbox (Republicans); Wii (Democrats).
And where do they see eye-to-eye? Apple is the favorite tech company of both; Coca-Cola the favorite beverage.
– “Seattle Post-Intelligencer”

DID YOU KNOW?

The smallest butterfly, the Dwarf Blue from Africa, has a wingspan of only a half-inch (1 cm).
– ListsOPlenty.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.22.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [63] Meryl (Mary Louise) Streep, Summit NJ, movie actress (“Julie & Julia”, “The Devil Wears Prada”)/17 Academy Award nominations & 3 Oscars (“The Iron Lady”, “Sophie’s Choice”, “Kramer vs Kramer”)/record 8 Golden Globe Awards

1953 [59] Cyndi Lauper, Ozone Park NY, oldies singer (“Time After Time”, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”)/human rights advocate (“True Colors Tour”)

1964 [48] Dan Brown, Exeter NH, really rich author (“Angels & Demons”, “The Da Vinci Code”, which sold over 60 million copies worldwide)

1964 [48] Amy Brenneman, New London CT, TV actress (‘Dr Violet Turner’ on “Private Practice” since 2007, “Judging Amy” 1999-2005)

1973 [39] Carson Daly, Santa Monica CA, TV host (NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly” since 2002, MTV’s “Total Request Live” 1998-2003)

SATURDAY –
TV personality Randy Jackson (“American Idol”) is 56; Movie actress Frances McDormand (“Fargo”) is 55; TV actor Fred Ewanuick (“Corner Gas”) is 41; Movie actress Selma Blair (“Hellboy”) is 40; Pop singer KT Tunstall (“Black Horse & The Cherry Tree”) is 37; Pop singer-songwriter Jason Mraz (“I’m Yours”) is 35; Pop singer Duffy (“Mercy”) is 28.

SUNDAY –
Oldies singer Colin Blunstone (The Zombies) is 67; Classic rock drummer Mick Fleetwood (Fleetwood Mac) is 65; Classic rock bassist John Illsley (Dire Straits) is 63; Québec Premier Jean Charest is 54; Classic rock bassist Curt Smith (Tears for Fears) is 51; TV actress Mindy Kaling (“The Office”) is 33.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canadian North Midnight Classic”, the 62nd anniversary all-night golf tournament in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, thanks to 24 hours of daylight surrounding Summer Solstice.
NET: http://www.yellowknifegolf.com
• “Stupid Guy Thing Day”. Women are always talking about it (“Oh that’s just another stupid guy thing …”), so here’s the day to commemorate it! Women everywhere are encouraged to make a list of ‘Stupid Guy Things’ and pass it on. To get you started …
– Pounding things.
– Squirting things.
– Watching TV sports.
– Using power tools.
– Driving giant pickup trucks.
– Wearing ball caps … backwards.
– Burning and/or exploding things.
– Eating anything and everything.
• “Take Your Dog to Work Day”, created by Pet Sitters International in 1999 to give dog owners the opportunity to invite their ‘best friend’ into participating workplaces.
NET: http://takeyourdog.com
• “Ugliest Dog Contest”, an annual event at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, California. Top dog wins $1,000. Some of them can be downright hideous – missing a limb, an eye, or fur.
NET: http://www.sonoma-marinfair.org/worlds-ugliest-dog
• “Watermelon Thump”, the 59th annual through Sunday in Luling, Texas, home of the ‘World Champion Seed-Spitting Contest’ in which the Guinness Record was established at 68-ft, 9-ins.
NET: http://www.watermelonthump.com

SATURDAY –
• “Backyard Campout Night”, great fun for kids of all ages. But not so much for the adults trying to sleep indoors who wake up to the door slamming every time the ‘campers’ need drinks, food or the bathroom; or get scared by spooky noises coming from the neighbor’s yard.
• “Let It Go Day”, a day to release pent-up emotions. Whatever is bugging you, let it go!
• “Pink Flamingo Day”, celebrating the tackiest of all lawn ornaments. In honor of the occasion, one association stages a quest for the largest display.
NET: http://www.lawn-greetings.com/pink-flamingo-day
• “United Nations Public Service Day”, first declared in 2003 to celebrate the value & virtue of public service to the community. On this day the ‘UN Public Service Awards’ are handed out for contributions in enhancing the role, prestige, and visibility of public service.

SUNDAY –
• “Celebration Of the Senses”, when we’re encouraged to treat ourselves to stimulation of each of our 5 senses. What would be the best sensation for each?
NET: http://tinyurl.com/5zz8tu
• “St-Jean Baptiste Day”, the “Fête Nationale” holiday in the province of Québec and in French-Canadian communities across the country. Parades, bonfires, fireworks, feasting, drinking, and musical concerts are the order of the day.
• “Swim a Lap Day”, the pool equivalent of ‘Walk a Block’, an easily achievable step to getting your fitness initiative underway.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2001 [11] Street-racing movie “The Fast & The Furious” opens in theaters (leads to 5 sequels, including “The Fast & The Furious 6” in 2013)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

2002 [10] Spaniard Alvaro de Marichalar becomes 1st to cross the Atlantic Ocean by jet ski (12 hours per day on water, sleeping on a support boat), landing at Miami Beach, Florida 4 months after setting off from Rome, Italy

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1980 [32] Jim King begins riding the Miracle Strip Amusement Park roller coaster in Panama City Beach, Florida for a record 368 hours (over 15 days!)

COMING UP . . .

[Mon] Please Take My Children to Work Day
[Mon] Sense of Humor in Bed Day
[Tues] Canoe Day
[Tues] International Day Against Drug Abuse
[Tues] Chocolate Pudding Day
[Tues] Beauticians Day
This Week Is … Camping Week
This Month Is … Great Outdoors Month

BULL’S BITS


BS THINGS THAT WILL STICK TO THE CEILING:
✓ Bisquick pancakes soaked in Aunt Jemima syrup.
✓ Already chewed Gummi Bears.
✓ A lifetime collection of postage stamps.
✓ Over 10,000 Post-It notes, all saying: “Get Your Ass Out of Bed!”
✓ Slightly spit-moistened Bubblicious bubble gum.
✓ With a damn good scare … the cat.
✓ Wallpaper you’re trying to get onto the wall.
✓ A pencil if it has just the right propulsion.
✓ Duct tape and your little brother.

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Great beer bellies are made, not born.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: 15% of women will do THIS for the first time this Summer.
Answer: Go fishing.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.


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