Monday, June 23, 2014        Edition: #5246


Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ TV personality Katie Couric and partner John Molner are married. The couple tied the knot in an intimate. low-key poolside ceremony at their home in East Hampton, Long Island on Saturday. She announced the news via Twitter. The ceremony was attended by the couple’s close friends and family, including their combined 4 children from previous marriages.
– “Us Weekly”
★ 71-year-old Harrison Ford will reportedly take 6 months off from filming the new “Star Wars” movie in Britain to return to the US for rehab. He was first thought to have fractured his ankle when his foot was crushed by the door of a spacecraft prop during filming earlier this month. However, the injury has turned out to be a broken leg, which has been rebuilt with a number of metal plates during surgery last week.
– “The Sun”
★ Chelsea Handler is moving to Netflix. The late-night comedian, who’s finishing up E!’s late-night “Chelsea Lately” talk show in August after a 7-year run, has signed a deal with the streaming service for several stand-up specials and a new talk show, to begin in 2016. The deal begins with a standup comedy special based on her current tour, “Uganda Be Kidding Me”, which was taped in Chicago IL on Friday and will be released on Netflix October 10th.
– USAToday.com
★ Actress Mary Steenburgen (“Justified”) will be joining the Netflix series “Orange Is the New Black” in its 3rd season as someone’s mother. Which character will get to call her ‘mom’? Drumroll please … it’s ‘Pornstache’ (Pablo Schreiber’s prison guard character ‘George Mendez’). Steenburgen seems stoked to join the show, tweeting: “Very excited to go to my first wardrobe fitting of ‘OITNB’! Will I be in orange or black?”.
– TVLine.com
★ AMC has already ordered up a 2nd season of the highly anticipated “Breaking Bad” spinoff, “Better Call Saul” starring Bob Odenkirk, even though the 1st season hasn’t even aired. That brings the total number of episodes on order to 23. However, it’s going to be a while before you can watch them. Though production on “Better Call Saul” is underway, the series’ debut has been pushed back from this Fall to early 2015.
– Vulture.com
★ And she might be (sickeningly) famous for no reason, but apparently not famous enough for the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Despite Kanye West’s lobbying, Kim Kardashian has been rejected by LA’s sidewalk shrine yet again. Kanye has long railed about the fact that Kim has yet to be honored. So, for 2015, who’s more worthy than Kim? Among 30 celebrities who’ll receive a star: Amy Poehler, Melissa McCarthy, Pharrell, Pitbull, and Will Ferrell.
– RollingStone.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Flo Rida (“The Perfect 10″). Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Body Count (“Manslaughter”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – P!nk (“The Truth About Love”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – St Paul & The Broken Bones (“Half the City”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jenny O (“Automechanic”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Broken Bells (“After the Disco”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Adam Levine (Maroon 5).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• AC/DC –Frontman Brian Johnson has revealed he’s taking a break from his UK TV show “Cars That Rock” as it looks likely the band will be on the road again by the end of the year. They’re working on a new album without Malcolm Young, who’s on hiatus due to health issues.
• Beyoncé – She’s appearing on HBO in a series of 4-minute clips from her “Mrs Carter World Tour”, under the title “Beyoncé: X10″. The brief segments air at 8:55 pm on Sunday nights for 10 weeks, right before episodes of the final season of “True Blood”.
• Ed Sheeran – Today he releases his 2nd studio album “x” (pronounced ‘multiply’), essentially a Justin Timberlake-style dance record with falsetto. It still includes plenty of straight-from-the-heart lyrics, though, including a track about his late grandfather.
• fun. – 30-year-old Jack Antonoff met his now-girlfriend Lena Dunham on a 2012 blind date set up by a mutual friend. The guitarist reveals he didn’t know much about the “Girls” creator beforehand, so he made sure he did a little online research about her.
• KISS / Def Leppard – Tonight in West Valley City UT the geezer rockers begin a joint tour that takes in 40-plus North American markets. The trek runs through August 31st in Houston TX.
• Lady Antebellum – The video for their new single “Bartender” includes appearances by model-actress Kate Upton (“The Other Woman”) and actor Tony Hale (“Veep”).
• Miranda Lambert – She remains atop the ‘Billboard Hot Country Albums’ chart this week with her new release “Platinum”.
• Taylor Swift – She has a new kitten named after one of her favorite TV characters, ‘Olivia Benson’ (Mariska Hargitay’s detective on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”). The kitty joins Taylor’s other cat ‘Meredith’ , named for Ellen Pompeo’s character on “Grey’s Anatomy”.

HOW TO BREEZE THROUGH THE ER:
Tips from an Emergency Room physician on how to speed up your treatment …
✓ Always have a wallet card that lists your health history. Often, during the panic of an ER visit, patients are either physically unable to relate it or too anxious to remember details. Wallet cards should contain the following data …
- Name, address, date of birth, insurance information.
- Next of kin, who to contact in case of emergency.
- Past health conditions, since birth (even childhood asthma).
- Past surgeries, since birth.
- All medications, including recent short term treatments.
- Allergies.
✓ Pre-treating your symptoms can shave hours off your ER visit. Treatments might include …
- Acetaminophen (ie: Tylenol) for fever.
- Gravol for nausea and/or vomiting.
- Diphenhydramine (DPH) antihistamine for allergic reaction.
✓ Bring in all your assistive devices, whether they be corrective eyeglasses, a special brace to walk, or a hearing aid to hear. It allows doctors to compare your function in the ER to your baseline function at home.
✓ Stick to the real emergency. Trying to also sneak in a reassessment of a chronic condition can distract and delay an ER doc from recognizing the acute emergency condition that you actually came to the hospital to have treated.
– “Huffington Post”

BRUISED-LOOKING FINGERS IN:
This season, more and more celebs are proving that dark nails are a do this Summer by rocking sophisticated, deeply hued shades of nail polish. How to wear the bold new look …
• Whenever you can wear a dark accessory, you can wear a dark nail. If your outfit calls for a navy clutch or a black wedge, opt for a similar color manicure.
• Embrace contrast. Head-to-toe black is a little too heavy for Summer. Keep it chic by pairing a dark nail with white or pale pink outfits. Think dark nails with white jeans.
• Avoid muddy colors such as dark browns or muted greens. Dark nails should be used to make a statement, so stick with deep green, navy, or purple hues.
• Be true blue. Blue is a hot hue currently, from bright neon blue to sky blue to super dark blue, which feels almost nautical.
>>> Most important, fashionistas say, is attitude. If you’re going to wear it, you’ve got to own it.
– NYDailyNews.com

TIPS FOR SUN SAFETY:
Sun exposure is no joke. Since 1970 the incidence of melanoma has nearly tripled while most other cancers are in retreat. A breakdown of what you should know about practising safe sun …
• Don’t be fooled by high SPF sunscreen. SPF refers to Sun Protection Factor. Specifically, SPF denotes the protection afforded against UVB rays only, the ones responsible for burning.
• Look for a sunscreen that offers ‘broad spectrum coverage’, meaning both UVA and UVB protection. UVA rays penetrate deeper into the skin, contributing to aging, immune dysfunction, and possibly cancer.
• Avoid aerosol sunscreens. Their ingredients include a concoction of chemicals that can be dangerous when they reach your bloodstream after inhalation. This is especially problematic in kids.
• Stay away from oxybenzone, a chemical that helps absorb UV rays. While over 50% of sunscreens contain the stuff, many toxicology experts warn it can be absorbed through the skin and has been linked to hormone disruption and potential cellular damage.
• Sun and bug repellent should not go hand in hand. Effective sun care requires that you reapply sunscreen every few hours. Bug repellents should not be applied more than every 6 hours. Don’t expose yourself to unnecessary chemical more frequently than you need to.
>>> Best advice: Limit your sun exposure during peak hours (10:30 am-3 pm).
– Condensed from HuffingtonPost.ca

BS AMAZING FACT:
The 18th and 75th minutes have been the most common times to score in each half since the World Cup began in 1930.
– “The Economist”

BS CHRONOMETER 06.23.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [58] Randy Jackson, Baton Rouge LA, TV personality (“American Idol” mentor & judge since 2002)/former music industry exec (Columbia, MCA)/former rock bassist (Journey)/cousin of actor Samuel L Jackson

1957 [57] Frances McDormand, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Burn After Reading”, “Almost Famous”)/1997 Oscar (“Fargo”)/married to filmmaker Joel Coen (“True Grit”) since 1984

1972 [42] Selma Blair, Southfield MI, TV actress (“Anger Management” 2012-13)/movie actress (“Hellboy” films, “Cruel Intentions”)

1977 [37] Jason Mraz, Mechanicsville VA, pop/folk singer (“I’m Yours”, “The Remedy”)  UP NEXT: The new album “Yes!”, to be released July 15th.

1980 [34] Melissa Rauch, Marlboro NJ, TV actress (‘ Bernadette Rostenkowski’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2009)

1984 [30] (Aimee Anne) Duffy, Bangor, Wales, pop singer (“Warwick Avenue”, “Mercy”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Widows Day”, a UN-sanctioned day of action to address the poverty and injustice faced by millions of widows and their dependents in many countries.

• “Let It Go Day”, a day to release pent-up emotions. Whatever is bugging you, let it go!

• “Midsummer’s Eve” (aka “St John’s Eve”), celebrated in much of Northern Europe. In Sweden, Finland and Estonia, it’s considered one of the greatest festivals of the year. Its origins go back to the ancients.

• “Pink Day”, for some unknown reason a day to dress in pink, from your lipstick to your toenail polish.

• “United Nations Public Service Day”, first declared in 2003 to celebrate the value and virtue of public service to the community. On this day the ‘UN Public Service Awards’ are handed out for contributions in enhancing the role, prestige, and visibility of public service.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [25] Tim Burton’s noir movie spin on the well-known story of the DC Comics hero “Batman” is released in theaters, starring Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, and Kim Basinger

2009 [05] Longtime TV personality Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson’s former sidekick on the “Tonight Show” (1962-92), dies at age 86

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1974 [40] 1st ‘Extraterrestrial Message’ sent from Earth into space (guess they should have included an RSVP)

2013 [01] Nik Wallenda becomes 1st to successfully walk across the Grand Canyon on a tightrope, while millions watch on TV

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2007 [07] After passing through 50 countries including Australia, Canada, China, Japan, Mexico, Russia, and the USA, an around-the-world relay celebrating Italian sports-car maker Ferrari’s 60th anniversary finishes at Ferrari headquarters in Maranello, Italy

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Celebration Of the Senses
[Tues] International Fairy Day
[Wed] Beyoncé & Jay Z’s “On the Run” stadium tour begins (Miami FL)
[Wed] Summerfest begins (Milwaukee WI)
[Wed] Day Of the Seafarer
[Wed] Global Beatles Day
[Wed] Catfish Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Carpenter Ant Awareness Week / Fish Are Friends, Not Food! Week / Lightning Safety Awareness Week / Mosquito Control Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
LEAST USEFUL BS SKILLS FOR IMPRESSING WOMEN:
• Flawless execution of 2-wheel turns on a riding mower.
• Making 12 pairs of Jockeys last 29 days.
• Snot rocket temporary wallpaper paste.
• Chord-belching.
• Rectal gas fire starting.
– First published in “BS” 2011.

BS ALL-TIME LEAST POPULAR SUPERHEROES:
● “Accountant Boy”
● “Minute Man”
● “Incredible Divorced Middle-Aged Alcoholic Toupée-Wearer”
● “Captain Iron Lung”
● “Aqua Velva Man”
● “Super Pants”
● “Cyber Loser”
– First published in “BS” 1998.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Due to intense mind fog, all my thoughts have been grounded.

BS WEB GOODIE:
A little something to wear alongside your tinfoil hat … a vest that allows you to ‘disappear’.
NET: http://bit.ly/1lIgKCT

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
The oldest ever found, dating back to the 1640s, were made from animal and fish intestines.
a. Ear plugs.
b. Frankfurters.
c. Condoms. [CORRECT. Found in a cesspit at Dudley Castle in Britain.]
– Sourced from BuzzFeed.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Is apologizing to your exes for past behavior before you tie the knot really necessary or just really self-absorbed? It’s becoming somewhat of a trend. Even Maroon 5′s Adam Levine is on an ‘ex apology tour’ in advance of his upcoming wedding to Behati Prinsloo.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: If you do THIS, you’ll do it for 4 days on average.
Answer: Stay on a diet.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Tact is the ability to close your mouth before somebody else wants to.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Zack Williams @ Star 92.1 [WMYB] Myrtle Beach SC; Maxx Young @ 102.7 The Hog [KPGZ] Kansas City MO; Rebecca Vassar @ Proclaim FM [WPOS] Holland OH.


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