Wednesday, June 24, 2015        Edition: #5480

Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

★ Actors Bradley Cooper and Michael Keaton, and director Quentin Tarantino are among a slew of celebs who will get stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2016. Others include Ashley Judd, Kurt Russell, and Steve Carell in the ‘Motion Picture’ category; Adam Levine, Bruno Mars, Cyndi Lauper, and LL Cool J in the ‘Recording’ category; and comedian Kevin Hart in the ‘Live Performance’ section. The Walk of Fame was established in 1958 to honor popular figures in the entertainment industry, with 2,500 stars decorating the sidewalks along 15 blocks of Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles.
– Bang Showbiz
★ New info suggests that Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs was attempting to defend himself on the weekend during a confrontation with one of his son’s UCLA football coaches. Diddy was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon after an argument with the strength & conditioning coach whom he thought was unjustifiably picking on his son Justin. The coach reportedly went after him with his hands and that’s when Diddy allegedly hoisted a kettlebell and held it up in a defensive position. Combs was released late Monday after posting bail, but the odd incident could lead to a lawsuit. After all, his net worth is over $60 million.
★ Earlier this month stars from the cancelled NBC-TV series “Smash” reunited to put on a performance of “Bombshell the Musical”, the mythical stage show about Marilyn Monroe that was featured on the cult hit TV show, as a one-time event to raise money for charity. Now a plan is afoot to bring the show to the stage for a full theatrical run. An entire “Bombshell” score was written just to service “Smash” storylines, and now it seems it will get a chance to stand on its own. “Smash”, which starred Katharine McPhee, Debra Messing, and Anjelica Huston, was cancelled in 2013 after a 2-season run.

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Best and worst moments from auditions in New York, New Jersey, and California.
•”Big Brother” (CBS/Global) – The 17th season debut introduces some new twists. This perennial favorite hosted by Julie Chen airs Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Houndmouth (“Little Neon Limelight”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Nick Jonas (“Nick Jonas”). Rerun.
• Glastonbury (Somerset UK) – The largest greenfield festival in the world as 175,000 music fans are set to endure soggy weather at the Worthy Farm venue. Headliners on the Pyramid Stage are Florence + The Machine on Friday; Kanye West Saturday; and The Who on Sunday. Other acts over the 5-day fest include Alabama Shakes, Alt-J, Deadmau5, Death Cab For Cutie, Lionel Richie, Motörhead, Mary J Blige, Pharrell Williams, and Ryan Adams.
• “Jaws” ( PG Thriller ) – Steven Spielberg’s shark classic comes to the bigscreen again as “Turner Classic Movies Presents: Jaws 40th Anniversary” in select cinemas for 2 showings today. The 1975 film, featuring a Great White Shark that terrorizes ‘Amity Island’, stars Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, and Richard Dreyfuss.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – A Thousand Horses (“Southernality”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Craft Spells (“Nausea”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Desaparecidos (“Payola”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Fifth Harmony (“Reflection”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Ashanti (“Brave Heart”). Rerun.
• “Mr Robot” (USA) – Debut of a gritty new techno-thriller series about a young cyber-security engineer who is recruited by an underground hacker group to destroy the very corporation he’s being paid to keep safe. Stars Rami Malek, Christian Slater, Gloria Reuben.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Jewel (“Once Upon a Lullaby”). Rerun.
• “Suits” (USA) – The 5th season premiere introduces more legal and romantic crises.
• Summerfest (Milwaukee WI) – Touted as ‘world’s largest musical festival’, it spans 11 days (today-June 28; June 30-July 5), 11 stages, and over 800 acts. Among them: Aloe Blacc, Bastille, Doobie Bros, Ed Sheeran, Florida Georgia Line, Jane’s Addiction, Keith Urban, Kendrick Lamar, Kings of Leon, Magic!, and Sheryl Crow. Over 900,000 fans are expected.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Darius Rucker (“Southern Style”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Major Lazer (“Peace Is the Mission”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Kacey Musgraves (“Pageant Material”).

• David Guetta – He’s become the 3rd musician to reach 2 billion streams on Spotify, following Eminem and Ed Sheeran in hitting the milestone. His latest album, “Listen”, boasts 4 chart hits including his most recent single, “Hey Mama” f/Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha, and Afrojack. It alone has had 95 million streams worldwide.
• Elton John – A bridesmaid’s dress from his 1984 wedding to sound engineer Renate Blauel is up for sale on eBay. The size 10-12 magenta silk gown has spent the last 31 years wrapped in plastic in the unnamed Sydney, Australia woman’s closet. Elton & Renate were married for 4 years before splitting. Shortly afterward Elton came out as gay.
• Jessie J – She’s undergone surgery for a mystery condition. The “Price Tag” hitmaker, who suffered irregular heartbeat and seizures in her youth, is refusing to disclose the nature of her current health crisis.
• Kid Rock – Tonight his Summer tour in support of his latest album, “First Kiss”, gets underway in Hartford CT. The extensive trek includes 6 nights on his home turf of Detroit MI, and wraps September 25th in Rogers AR. Special guest throughout is Foreigner.
• Maroon 5 – They’ve cancelled a gig in Jakarta, Indonesia after unwittingly scheduling it for Eid al-Adha (September 23rd), the Muslim ‘Feast Of the Sacrifice’. It’s a public holiday in Indonesia.
• Rihanna – She’s moving into the fashion biz with her company Roraj Trade LLC registering and trademarking ‘$chool Kills’ under the categories ‘leather products’ and ‘clothing products’. An insider says it will begin with an accessories line offering tote bags & purses, then later move into women’s wear.
• Simple Plan – The new single “Saturday” marks the band’s 1st new music in almost 4 years. A new album is set for worldwide release later this year.

✓ Count the number of cricket chirps in 14 seconds, then add 40 to get the temperature on the ground in degrees Fahrenheit.
✓ Frogs become a whole lot louder when stormy weather is on the way.
✓ A halo will form around the Sun or Moon when ice crystals high up refract light. That’s a sign that the weather is going to change and most likely bring rain.
✓ Farmers often say that cows huddle together to seek comfort before a storm because they can sense low pressure systems. They’re also more likely to lie down.
✓ When birds are soaring high in the sky, the skies are probably fair; whereas in storm systems, the falling pressure in the air causes discomfort and birds stay low to the ground.
✓ According to beekeepers, hives get awfully cozy right before it rains as the bees take shelter.
✓ Fluffy white clouds are good news when it comes to weather, and the higher the better.
✓ Low pressure and high humidity allow fragrances to escape, so the scent of flowers or grass will be stronger when it’s about to rain.
✓ Pine cones close up when humidity increases to protect seeds from getting drenched in oncoming rain.
(What old weather adage has been passed on in your family?)
– Condensed from

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 62% of women say they’d never date a man that has a ponytail.
• 55% of moms say the most effective way to discipline kids is to take away their videogames.
• 30% of women say they’d never marry a man who has a bad credit score.
• 25% of employees admit they tell dirty jokes at work even though it is wrong.
• 22% of us have babysat a pet for the boss.
• 19% of us have faked a phone call in order to avoid talking to someone face-to-face.

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Extreme Beer’ – A well-aged, usually high-priced beer with an exotic flavor or an exceptionally high alcohol content. (“I got totally plastered on a new extreme beer last night. Just one pint.”)
• ‘JOMO’ – Stands for Joy of Missing Out; created as a counterpart to previous acronym ‘FOMO’, the Fear of Missing Out. (“When I need some downtime, I turn off my phone and avoid social media just for the JOMO.”)
• ‘Nanobrewery’ – A brewery that produces beer in very small quantities, even less than a ‘microbrewery’. (“And next month the nanobrewery is bringing out a brand new ale … just one pint.”)

• Baboon troops democratically decide which direction to go in.
– “Los Angeles Times”
• Most kangaroos are left-handed.
– “BBC News Magazine”
• Chimpanzees binge drink.
• Pigs get depressed.
– List


1947 [68] Mick Fleetwood, Redruth UK, classic rock drummer (Fleetwood Mac-“Rumours”)  BS FACTOID: The band is touring again, their “On With the Show” tour next hitting O2 Arena in London UK tonight, Friday, and Saturday.

1961 [54] Iain Glen, Edinburgh, Scotland, TV actor (‘Ser Jorah Mormont’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2011)/movie actor (“Resident Evil” films)

1979 [36] Mindy Kaling (Chokalingam), Cambridge MA, TV actress (“The Mindy Project since 2012, “The Office” 2005-13)/best-selling author (“Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?”)

1987 [28] Lionel Messi, Rosario, Argentina, soccer superstar (FC Barcelona, Argentina World Cup team captain)

• “Celebration Of the Senses”, when we’re encouraged to treat ourselves to stimulation of each of our 5 senses. What would be the best sensation for each?

• “International Fairy Day”, a holiday for believers, collectors, and the young at heart to celebrate all that is ‘Fae’, and to reconnect with their imagination and child-like wonder.

• “Pralines Day”, saluting the sweet & creamy taste treat made from sugared pecans or almonds. Pralines were invented in France by Marshal du Plessis-Praslin (hence the name). Originally they were simply almonds coated with caramelized sugar.

• “St John’s Day”, commemorating the birth of St John the Baptist, and the 2nd day of Midsummer celebrations in many European countries. It’s variously celebrated as …
– “San Juan Day” in Puerto Rico. Among the traditions: Puerto Ricans go to a beach, walk into the water and walk out backwards 7 times, then throw themselves on the sand for good luck, and finally … jump in for a swim.
– “St-Jean Baptiste Day”, the “Fête Nationale” holiday in the province of Québec and in French-Canadian communities across the country. Besides Québec, St John the Baptist is also the patron saint of auto routes, candlemakers, health spas, road workers, and wool workers.

• “Swim a Lap Day”, the pool equivalent of ‘Walk a Block’, an easily achievable step to getting your fitness initiative underway.

1994 [21] Disney movie “The Lion King” opens in wide release and grosses $41 million during its initial weekend, a then-record for an animated film

2014 [01] The original lyrics to “Like a Rolling Stone”, handwritten by Bob Dylan on hotel stationery, sell for $2 million at auction

2010 [05] American John Isner finally defeats Nicolas Mahut of France at Wimbledon in the longest match in professional tennis history (11 hours, 5 minutes of play over 3 days, with a final score of 70-68 after 183 games)

[Thurs] “Under the Dome” season debut (CBS)
[Thurs] “Rookie Blue” season debut (ABC)
[Thurs] “Boom” series premiere (FOX)
[Thurs] The BET Experience begins (LA CA)
[Thurs] Global Beatles Day
[Fri] Drive Your Corvette to Work Day
[Sat] Decide to Be Married Day
This Week Is … Carpenter Ant Awareness Week
This Month Is … Bathroom Reading Month


Use ’em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – You’ve got tough row to hoe in front of you this week, which seems like merely a folksy euphemism until you find you’ve inherited a run-down potato farm.
• Taurus – The furious mobs will finally stop burning you in effigy this week, but only because they’ve decided to stop playing around with dolls and go right to the source.
• Gemini – The bad news is your favorite shirt will be stained beyond saving this week; the good news is your favorite tie will be untouched, which is miraculous when you think about how many times you’ll be shot.
• Cancer – They may be laughing at you now, but they’ll have to stop eventually if only to eat, catch their breath, and get a good night’s sleep in preparation for laughing at you all day tomorrow.
• Leo – Sometimes all you want is to relax in your sweats with a movie and a bowl of popcorn, but this week you’ll want 6 units of whole blood, clean bandages, a splint, and plenty of morphine.
• Virgo – Your death next week will seem inexplicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made in order to be best friends with Jenny in 8th grade.
• Libra – Your fear of public speaking won’t be helped by your habit of saying things that make large groups of people want to attack you.
• Scorpio – It is written that you will wield a sword of light and unite the world under your wise and compassionate rule, but hey, when you get right down to it, lots of shit has been written.
• Sagittarius – Your heart, at least, will be in the right place next week when you attempt to overcome your fear of commitment by marrying everyone you know.
• Capricorn – You have yet to find a love worthy of your unique affections and depth of spirit. You should strongly consider getting a goldfish.
• Aquarius – You’ll need to find new solutions to the same old problems this week, mostly because you’re really building up quite a tolerance to alcohol.
• Pisces – People may say you’re too easygoing, unmotivated, and accepting of your own flaws, but don’t worry … you’ll learn to live with that.
– Adapted from

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

Where can the driest place on Earth be found?
a. Africa.
b. Antarctica. [CORRECT. It hasn’t rained in the McMurdo Dry Valleys for … 2 million years.]
c. Asia.

Question: A new survey finds that THIS bedroom decision is always made by a woman.
Answer: Which side of the bed to sleep on.

☎ What have you had to hide when moving out of an apartment in order to get your security deposit back?

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

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