Monday, June 25, 2012        Edition: #4772

Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!

• Elvis Presley’s former crypt in a Memphis, Tennessee cemetery was yanked from the weekend ‘Music Icons’ sale by Julien’s Auctions in Beverly Hills, California. The cancellation is said to be a result of worldwide outcry from Elvis fans. Presley was interred in the crypt until being relocated to Graceland. It will continue to remain as a Forest Hill Cemetery shrine for the foreseeable future. (Was advertising the crypt sale just a publicity stunt?)
• On Friday night in London, Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian went on a dinner date arranged by Kim’s boyfriend Kanye West. A source says the two have never seen eye-to-eye, Beyoncé viewing Kim as someone who earned her fortune with no specific talent. So Kanye decided to get them together while he and Jay-Z are on the European leg of their “Watch the Throne” tour. Word has it the pair ‘managed to get along despite their different backgrounds’. (BS translation: Nobody got clawed.)
– “The Sun”
• San Antonio Spurs’ NBA star Tony Parker (ex-Mr Eva Longoria) is suing NYC’s WiP nightclub for injuries he sustained in that infamous Chris Brown-Drake entourage brawl earlier this month. Parker was hit by shards of glass and suffered lacerations to his cornea, he claims, when the incident escalated to the point that glass bottles started flying. He’s seeking damages from the club totaling $20 million. Why should the nightclub be liable? He’s reportedly claiming the managers should have known better than to let both of Rihanna’s exes in at the same time. (Parker’s scheduled to play for France in the Olympics … might not happen.)
• Saturday night’s celebration of the 39th annual “Daytime Emmy Awards” belonged to one man … “General Hospital” star Anthony Geary. He scored a record 7th award for ‘Outstanding Lead Actor In a Drama Series’. He’s now in his 4th decade in the role of ‘Dr Luke Spencer’, the romantic heartthrob of the long-running series. Overall “General Hospital” had 23 Emmy nominations and 5 wins, but Geary’s was easily the most noteworthy. (There are very few daytime dramas, aka ‘soaps’, left. An Emmy win’s not as impressive anymore.)
• Coldplay singer Chris Martin & actress-wife Gwyneth Paltrow have reportedly purchased one of West Los Angeles’ most luxurious mansions. Designed by famed architect Windsor Smith, the estate was listed for $10,450,000. The mansion has 6 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, and a private stable among the rolling, sycamore-lined property. (Can they afford yet another home? Yep. Their combined new worth: $114 million as of April 2012.)
• And Brangelina spawn Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was reportedly devastated to receive an educational game from the ‘Tooth Fairy’ instead of money. The 6-year-old was excited when one of her teeth fell out because her brothers told her to expect a big wad of cash for leaving it under her pillow. But her parents decided to give her a copy of the kids’ version of “Trivial Pursuit” instead. (Isn’t selling ivory supposed to be illegal?)


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – The Band Perry (“The Band Perry”). Rerun.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Alan Doyle (“Boy on Bridge”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Katy Perry (“Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection”); The Offspring (“Days Go By”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Melvins (“Freak Puke”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Alabama Shakes (“Boys & Girls”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Diamond Rugs (“Diamond Rugs”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Blues Traveler (“Suzie Cracks the Whip”, out tomorrow).
• London 2012 Festival (UK) – This cultural celebration across Britain that’s tied to the Summer Olympics kicked off over the weekend and runs through September 9th. The festival includes some 12,000 arts events and performances across the country.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Delta Rae (“Carry the Fire”).
• Trevor Live (NYC) – Today fun. is the featured performer at this year’s fundraising event, hosted by LGBTQ organization The Trevor Project. It offers LGBTQ young people a support system to help them understand that there’s nothing wrong with being who you are.

• Crosby, Stills & Nash – Graham Nash is getting ‘over 7 figures’ for his biography, which he promises will be full of honest recollections of his experiences with the iconic rock group and the Hollies beforehand. The as-yet-untitled memoir will be released at the end of 2013.
• Green Day – A free ‘secret show’ announced for Friday in the Los Angeles area had to be called off due to concerns over crowd control. The city of Burbank reportedly denied the band the necessary permits because anticipated turnout was likely to be in the thousands.
• Kings of Leon – Caleb Followill & wife Lily Aldridge have welcomed a new baby girl, according to “Us Weekly”. Aldridge reportedly gave birth on June 21st in Nashville. It’s the couple’s first child.
• Lady Gaga – She’s confirmed that an MRI shows she suffered no serious injury due to her concussion onstage recently. Quote: “No harm from the concussion but it appears my brain is just water and a large floating jellyfish.”
• Lily Allen – The Brit pop star has returned to the studio 3 years after walking away from her music career. She’s working on material for a new album, the first since her 2009 sophomore release “It’s Not Me, It’s You”.
• Maroon 5 – Tonight they appear on an MTV special to premiere the video for their new single, “One More Night”. The video debut is followed by a 30-minute Q&A with the band on Their new album, “Overexposed”, is out tomorrow.
• Rihanna – She and TV actor Jim Parsons (“Big Bang Theory”) will voice the main characters in the upcoming animated film “Happy Smekday!”, according to “Hollywood Reporter”. The movie about aliens who escape to Earth is due out from DreamWorks in late 2014.
• 3 Doors Down – They plan to include 3 new songs on a greatest hits collection that’s coming out this Fall. Guitarist Chris Henderson tells, “We’re still writing songs better than ever, playing better than ever. So our career is still going.”


Scotland is launching its biggest-ever tourism ad campaign, budgeted at more than $11 million, on the back of Disney’s latest animated movie, “Brave”, which opened in 9 countries around-the-world over the weekend. The story of the young daughter of a mythical Scottish king and queen features the voices of such Scottish icons as Billy Connolly, Craig Ferguson, and Robbie Coltrane. Even though it’s being used to tout the country’s Summer travel season, the movie doesn’t open in Scotland until August. (Basing your campaign on the success of a film is a tad risky, no?)


The Himalayas are beautiful, but the reason you go to Mt Everest is because it’s the highest. Once an unclimbable peak, it’s become the Disney of mountaintops in the decades since Tenzing Norgay & Edmund Hilary conquered it. However, Everest is technically not the highest mountain in the world. As the planet is not an exact sphere – it bulges in the middle – equatorial mountains are farther from the center of the Earth than those nearer the poles. That makes Mt Chimborazo, the top peak in the Ecuadorean Andes, the world’s highest mountain. (Doesn’t matter. If it’s higher than standing on a chair, we’re getting a nosebleed.)


A recent ranking of the most hazardous Summer jobs for teens …
5. Traveling Youth Crew (door-to-door sales).
4. Driver/Operator (forklifts, tractors, ATVs).
3. Outside Helper (landscaping, groundskeeping, lawn service).
2. Construction (and other work involving heights).
1. Agriculture (fieldwork, processing).


A new poll of the people who know the most about hotels – business travellers – asks what bugs them most about the hostelry biz. Their top complaints …
✗ Expensive Internet service.
✗ Inaccessible or insufficient electrical outlets.
✗ Confusing thermostats.
✗ Drapes that don’t close properly.
✗ Maids who don’t notice ‘Do Not Disturb’ signs.
✗ Alarm clocks that haven’t had previous guest settings cleared.


9,300 people have come together in Lindsay, Ontario to set a new world record for ‘Largest Number of People In a Lipdub Video’, beating the previous tally of 7,400 set in Spain. In case you’re wondering, ‘lipdub’ is a lip-synching video featuring people singing along to a recorded song, all in one continuous shot. (Lady Gaga will likely bust this in her next video.)


The original jockstrap was invented in 1874 for bicycle jockeys who rode over the cobblestone streets in Boston, Massachusetts. Today, ‘Bike’ is still the leading manufacturers of jockstraps.


1961 [51] Ricky Gervais, Reading UK, triple Golden Globe-, double Emmy-winning writer/producer (“The Office” creator, “Extras”)/movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films)

1963 [49] George Michael (Yorgos Kyriatou Panayioutou), Radlett UK, oldies singer (“Faith”, Wham-“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”)

1971 [41] Sean Kelly, Albuquerque NM, pop guitarist/singer (Sixpence None the Richer-“Kiss Me”, “There She Goes”)

1971 [41] Angela Kinsey, Lafayette LA, TV actress (‘Angela Martin’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1972 [40] Mike Kroeger, Hanna AB, rock bassist (Nickelback-“Photograph”, “How You Remind Me”)/half-brother of frontman Chad Kroeger


• “Catfish Day”, first initiated in 1987 to celebrate the value of farm-raised catfish. (They sure are hard to herd!)

• “Discovery Day”, celebrated in Newfoundland & Labrador on the Monday nearest June 24th in commemoration of the ‘discovery’ of the province in 1497 by John Cabot (who was actually several centuries later than the Vikings).

• “Leon Day” (‘Noel’ spelled backwards), observed exactly 6 months from Christmas, meaning we’re as far away from all that holiday rush and stress as we can be.

• “Please Take My Children to Work Day”, the 10th annual tongue-in-cheek holiday for part- and full-time stay-at-home moms, who are encouraged to take the day off by finding a relative, neighbor, friend, or babysitter to take care of the kid(s).

• “Sense of Humor in Bed Appreciation Day”. So what’s it like being laughed at?


1967 [45] 1st ‘Worldwide Satellite Broadcast’, entitled “Our World”, airs live from Abbey Road Studios in London, featuring The Beatles, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Graham Nash, and many others


2009 [03] Michael Jackson dies of acute Propofol intoxication at age 50


1947 [65] 1st ‘Tennis Shoes’ are designed (next day, Third World workers are recruited to manufacture them in return for 23 cents a year)


1977 [35] Roy Sullivan of Virginia is struck by lightening for the 7th time … and lives! (dude, when you hear rumbling, head indoors!)


[Tues] Canoe Day
[Tues] International Day Against Drug Abuse
[Tues] Chocolate Pudding Day
[Tues] Beauticians Day
[Wed] Decide to Be Married Day
[Wed] Happy Birthday to You Day
[Wed] HIV Testing Day


Carpenter Ant Awareness Week / Fish Are Friends, Not Food! Week / Lightning Safety Awareness Week / Mosquito Control Awareness Week / Prevention of Eye Injuries Week


A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “Thick ‘n Cakey”
• “Old Spice-Girl”
• “Cheese Stick”
• “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Tuna!”
• “Stank-Be-Gone”
• “Taxi-Whiff”
– First published in “BS” 2004.


The idea is to die young … as late as possible.


Ever wonder how much bird crap it takes to crush a Smart car? This infographic ranks it by … type of bird. How useful.


☎ Which singers have most embarrassed themselves attempting to act in movies? (Our list includes Britney Spears, 50 Cent, Jessica Simpson, Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Whitney Houston.)


Your contestant must get the answers to the following rapid-fire questions WRONG in order to win [what they CAN’T say is in brackets]. Hey, it’s harder than it seems!
• Who is the patron saint of bricklayers? [St Stephan]
• Finish the famous saying: “What goes up must …. [come down.”]
• The Major League Baseball team that plays in Detroit is called the … [Tigers]
• What’s the #1 cause of daytime fatigue? [Lack of water.]
• What must the water temperature be for Olympic swimming events? [78-80 F or 26-27 C]
• A cockroach can live 9 days without this before it starves to death. [Its head.]
• How many sides does a banana peel have? [A banana has 5 sides.]
• Name any one of the ‘Seven Deadly Sins’. [Pride, covetousness, lust, gluttony, anger, envy and sloth.]
• What’s your favorite color? [Cannot name any color … or at least has to lie.]
• What’s the weather going to be like tomorrow? [You decide.]


Question: A “Reader’s Digest” poll finds that most couples argue about THIS while traveling.
Answer: When to stop for bathroom breaks.


Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.


BS salutes these subscribers who’ve just reupped for more service: Lenny Firth @ Life FM, Adelaide, South Australia; Joshua Wayne @ Sunny Radio [KZOY] Brandon, South Dakota; Chris Kuchar @ EZ Rock [CJAT] Trail, British Columbia; and we welcome samplers this week that include: Lavoyd Davis @, Longview, Texas; Tommy Dee @ Pattaya 103 FM, Pattaya, Thailand; and Lesego Molotsi @ Jacaranda FM, Pretoria, South Africa.

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