BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Cee-Lo Green is taking some serious heat over his recent announcement he’ll be replacing the pet cat who accompanied him during Season 1 of “The Voice” with a Moluccan cockatoo named ‘Lady’ (animal activists contend stress from the show could cause the bird to self-mutilate) . . . TV’s 71-year-old “Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek has suffered a mild heart attack and is still recovering in LA’s Cedars-Sinai Hospital (I’ll take “Signs It’s Time to Retire After 28 Years On-the-Job” for 400, Alex) . . . Britney Spears is looking at renting an oceanfront Malibu beach house in California for the Summer – at $14,900-a-month (peanuts, thanks to her 8-figure “X Factor” salary) . . . Showtime’s “Californication” has signed Marilyn Manson to appear in the upcoming 6th season – playing himself (it’d be more fun if he was a college dean or in insurance sales) . . . A fellow dancer is claiming Jennifer Lopez’s 25-year-old boy-toy Casper Smart is actually gay and is just using her to gain fame & fortune (that’s fair, she’s just using him to look hot at 42) . . . Movie star Reese Witherspoon has finally confirmed she’s expecting her 3rd child (1st with 2nd husband Jim Toth) and opened up about her cravings, admitting she wants ‘to eat everything in sight’ (hide the Nutella!) . . . And a new Billboard.com list of ‘Sexiest Songs of All-Time’ is topped by Olivia Newton-John’s 1982 hit “Physical”, followed by Rod Stewart’s “Tonight’s The Night”, and Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love to You” (if this seems wonky, the ranking is based on chart performance rather than seductiveness or make-out-ability).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Big KRIT (“Live From the Underground”).
• “Isle Of MTV 2012” (MTV) – This year’s massive free outdoor music event is on the island of Malta and features performances by Flo Rida, Nelly Furtado, and Will.i.am.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Naked & Famous (“Passive Me, Aggressive You”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Maroon 5 (“Overexposed”, released today). They also play songs from all 4 of their albums on a “Live On Letterman” webcast available pre-show live or on-demand later.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Robin Thicke (“Love After War”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Black Keys – They’re suing Pizza Hut and Home Depot, claiming the companies used 2 of their songs in ads without authorization, “Gold On the Ceiling” and “Lonely Boy” respectively.
• Carrie Underwood – Tonight her 1st-ever tour of Australia starts at Melbourne’s Palais Theatre. She also visits Tamworth and Brisbane before finishing at Sydney Opera House July 2nd and 3rd.
• Linkin Park – Today their 5th studio album, “Living Things”, is released. It’s the follow-up to 2010’s “A Thousand Suns”.
• The Offspring – Today the veteran California punk-rockers release their 9th studio album, “Days Go By”. It’s their 1st album in 4 years, following 2008’s “Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace”.
• Shakira – Her father has reportedly confirmed she’s expecting her 1st child via boyfriend Gerard Piqué, who plays soccer for FC Barcelona and the Spanish National Team.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Their new live concert DVD, “Alive In the Windy City”, is out today. The March 2010 concert was recorded at the Riviera Theatre in Chicago.
• Trisha Yearwood – Food Network has ordered up a full 13-episode new season of her daytime series “Trisha’s Southern Kitchen”. The show’s 2nd cycle will begin production this Summer and is slated to premiere in the Fall.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Artist”  ( PG-13 Romance ): Jean Dujardin plays a silent movie superstar in 1927 Hollywood who’s about to be rendered obsolete by the arrival of sound. Co-stars Bérénice Bejo, John Goodman. Winner of 5 Academy Awards, including ‘Best Motion Picture Of the Year’ and ‘Best Performance By an Actor In a Leading Role’.
• “Mirror Mirror” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): In this “Snow White” adaptation, Julia Roberts plays the evil queen and Lily Collins (son of Phil) an exiled princess, who enlists the help of 7 resourceful rebels to win back her birthright. Co-stars Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane. A gentler, more family-targeted interpretation than this year’s “Snow White & The Huntsman”.
• “A Thousand Words” (PG-13 Comedy ) – Eddie Murphy plays a literary agent who stretches the truth during a deal with a spiritual guru and, as a result, finds himself involved in a series of bizarre incidents designed to teach him that there are consequences to every word we speak. Co-stars Kerry Washington, Ruby Dee.
• “21 Jump Street” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ) – In this bigscreen adaptation of the TV show that starred Johnny Depp (1987-91), Jonah Hill & Channing Tatum play a pair of underachieving cops who are sent to a local high school to blend in and bring down a drug ring. Co-stars Ice Cube and Brie Larson, with a cameo by Depp.
• “Wrath Of the Titans” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In this follow-up to “Clash Of the Titans” (2010), ‘Perseus’ the demigod son of Zeus (Liam Neeson) is attempting to live the quiet life until he’s forced to brave the treacherous underworld to rescue his father. Co-stars Sam Worthington, Rosamund Pike, Ralph Fiennes.
• Also released today: “Damages: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “Dr Seuss: Green Eggs & Ham and Other Stories” (Family); “LEGO Ninjago Masters of Spinjitzu: Season 1” (Animation); “Pink Floyd: The Story of Wish You Were Here” (Music); “Greatest Classic Legends Film Collection: Humphrey Bogart” (Compilation); and “Greatest Classic Legends Film Collection: Joan Crawford” (Compilation).

THINGS SCIENCE CAN PREDICT ABOUT YOU AT INFANCY:
✓ Patient 4-year-olds are more likely to become successful adults. Conversely, a follow-up study has found that impatient children are more likely to become stressed out as adults.
✓ Babies fed on demand (ie: when they start crying) are more likely to be smart, scoring IQs up to 5 points higher at age 8 than those fed according to a set schedule while infants.
✓ A baby who snores is more likely to be a problem child. By age 7, a snoring baby is 1.5-times more likely to be a hyperactive, defiant child. That may be because snoring delivers more carbon dioxide to the brain than oxygen.
✓ Smaller babies do worse on exams. A study conducted in England has found that the smaller the baby at birth, the poorer he or she performs on exams later in life.
✓ Moody toddlers grow up to be gamblers. A New Zealand study finds that 3-year-olds who exhibit a lack of self-control, rapidly shifting emotions, impulsive & willful behavior are twice as likely to have gambling problems as adults.
✓ Fearless babies are more likely to become criminals. A 1970s study tested fear responses of 1,800 3-year-olds exposed to alarming sounds. A small number showed no signs of fear at all. A 2009 follow-up of the same subjects has found that 137 developed criminal records … and not one of them had been among the majority fearful group.
– Condensed from Cracked.com

HEAT WAVE, CRIME WAVE:
Recent research has affirmed that there’s a connection between heat and violent crime. Even when screening out other factors such as economic conditions, age, and education levels, heat in itself has been shown to be a significant contributor to explosive behavior. Why? As temps go up, you get more irritable. Once body temperature reaches 101 F (38.3 C), your brain function decreases and you may make decisions you regret. One study documents that MLB pitchers are more likely to hit batters with pitches on hot days. (Especially if they’re sweat-covered ‘Big Papi’.)
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”

MUSEUM OF FAILURE:
A warehouse outside Ann Arbor, Michigan operated by GfK Custom Research North America has acquired a nickname – ‘The Museum of Failed Products’. It’s home to discontinued brands that proved so unpopular they were eventually taken off the market. A sampling …
✗ “A Touch of Yogurt Shampoo” (Clairol)
✗ “For Oily Hair Only” (Gillette)
✗ “Harley Davidson Perfume”
✗ “AM Breakfast Cola” (Pepsi)
✗ “Life Savers Soft Drink” (Wrigley Co)
✗ “Rocky Mountain Spring Water” (Coors)
✗ “Thirsty Dog! Bottled Water”
✗ “Earring Magic Ken” (Mattel)
✗ “Colgate Kitchen Entrées” (Colgate-Palmolive)
✗ “Cocaine Energy Drink” (Redux Beverages)
– DailyFinance.com

FOR THE RECORD:
‘Lonesome George’, the last known Pinta Giant Tortoise, has died of unknown causes at about 100-years-old. He spent his last years in a corral in Galapagos National Park on the island of Puerto Ayora off Equador. Due to his advanced age, he’d become a conservation icon.
– BuzzFeed.com

DID YOU KNOW?
Japanese deer eavesdrop on monkeys in order to find food.
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 06.26.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1969 [43] Colin Greenwood, Oxford UK, alt-rock bassist (Radiohead-“There There”, “Creep”)

1970 [42] Chris O’Donnell, Winnetka IL, TV actor (“NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)/movie actor (“Max Payne”, “Batman & Robin”)

1970 [42] Nick Offerman, Minooka IL, TV actor (‘Ron Swanson’ on “Parks & Recreation” since 2009)

1973 [39] Gretchen Wilson, Pocahontas IL, country singer (“Homewrecker”, “Redneck Woman”)

1974 [38] Derek Jeter, Pequannock NJ, MLB shortstop (NY Yankees)/12-time All-Star/5-time World Series champ/girlfriends have included Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey, Scarlett Johansson, Vanessa Minillo

1979 [33] Nathan Followill, Oklahoma City OK, alt-rock drummer (Kings of Leon–“Use Somebody”, “Sex on Fire”)

1979 [33] Ryan Tedder, Tulsa OK, pop-rock singer (OneRepublic-“Good Life”, “Apologize”)/songwriter-producer (Adele, Beyoncé, Carrie Underwood, Chris Cornell, Jennifer Lopez, Natasha Bedingfield, etc)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Beautician’s Day”, your chance to show your appreciation to those who make you look beautiful and stunning. That includes your hairstylist, manicurist, esthetician … and the makers of Adobe Photoshop.

• “Chocolate Pudding Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey dessert treat every toddler likes to eat … with their fingers.

• “International Day Against Drug Abuse & Illicit Trafficking”, a UN observance established in 1987 with the goal of achieving an international society free of drug abuse. Let’s see, has it worked yet?

• “International Day in Support of Torture Victims”, created by the UN General Assembly to demonstrate solidarity with all those whose mind, body, or spirit have been impacted by torture. (A holiday at Guantanamo Bay?)

• “National Canoe Day” in Canada. The canoe has been chosen as one of the ‘Seven Wonders of Canada’.
NET: http://www.nationalcanoeday.net

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1952 [60] Daytime drama “The Guiding Light” debuts on TV after 15 years on radio (goes on to become ‘Longest Lasting Daytime Show’ and ‘Longest Lasting TV Series’ before ending September 18, 2009)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1977 [35] Elvis Presley performs what would be his last concert, at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, Indiana for a crowd of 18,000

1987 [25] Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” tops pop chart; Randy Travis’ “Forever & Ever, Amen” tops country chart

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1985 [27] 1st ‘Organist Ejected from a Baseball Game’ (Wilbur Snapp gets tossed for playing “Three Blind Mice” following a call by umpire Keith O’Connor in a Class A League game at Jack Russell Stadium in Clearwater, Florida)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1981 [31] ‘Most Coupons Used In a Single Purchase’ as Virginia Campbell of Mountain Home, Idaho buys $24,460 worth of groceries in a supermarket and uses clipped coupons and rebates to cover all but 67 cents of the bill (wow, someone even cheaper than [co-host]!)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Decide to Be Married Day
[Wed] Industrial Workers Of the World Day
[Wed] HIV Testing Day
[Thurs] “Anger Management” premieres (FX)
[Thurs] Handshake Day
This Week Is … Mosquito Control Awareness Week
This Month Is … Potty Training Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

BS HORRIBLESCOPES:
Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Try saying ‘Red Leather, Yellow Leather’ fast 100 times. This will be the pinnacle of your achievements this week. Layabout.
• Taurus – A problem shared on Twitter is just one of the many reasons people keep unfollowing you. Stop whining, no-one cares.
• Gemini – Today you will find a really big piece of lint in your pocket. That’s it though for today’s excitement.
• Cancer – Good time to invest in stock. The canned kind, not the financial kind.
• Leo – If you could change one thing, what would it be? We’d start with that hairy neck. And those toe-nails that look like pork scratchings. And that rubber claw.
• Virgo – Now is the perfect time to start that diet you’ve been talking about for the past 15 years and begin to love your body again because let’s be honest … no one will ever sleep with you in that shape.
• Libra – Today you’ll wish you’d been braver and put up a picture of yourself on that dating site after your Dad unknowingly messages you about a booty call for Wednesday.
• Scorpio – Your girlfriend has been having affair.  She hates you. The truth hurts doesn’t it? But not as much as being hit by her car on the way home from work.
• Sagittarius – You’ll have a feeling that you don’t belong at work today. The reason will become clear when security informs you that you don’t work there and they’ve called the police. Again.
• Capricorn – The love of your life is about to enter your life. Sadly for you, you were listening to this horoscope and you didn’t notice him. Fate is incredibly cruel isn’t it?
• Aquarius – An elderly gentleman next to you on the subway will spontaneously combust today and you’ll become an instant celebrity when you put him out with a large Diet Coke.
• Pisces – Nothing major is happening for Pisces this week. Make sure you polish your shoes though. You could be run over by a bus any day.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ KLM Airlines passengers can now Facebook to ‘Meet & Seat’. Would you want to sit next to someone on a plane based on your Facebook likes … or is that just creepy?
NET: http://bit.ly/PA7i7i

BS RANDOM JOKE:
When you go to court you’re putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Scientists say THIS food smell actually makes people happier.
Answer: Baked potatoes.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The quickest way to find something is to start looking for something else.