Monday, June 27, 2011        Edition: #4536
More From the Sheethouse!

• ‘James Bond’ star Daniel Craig (43) and “The Mummy” actress Rachel Weisz (41) have been married in a secret ceremony Friday in upstate New York, according to a rep for the actress. The acting couple met last fall on the set of “Dream House”, a new thriller movie scheduled for release this September in which they play husband & wife. (Seems they got the roles just right.)
• Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has announced the stars who’ll be inducted onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2012. They include Ann & Nancy Wilson (Heart); music producer David Foster; actress Jennifer Aniston (“Friends”); singer/TV personality Jennifer Lopez (“American Idol”); Oscar-winning actress Kate Winslet (“Titanic”); TV actress Marg Helgenberger (“CSI”), movie star Scarlett Johansson (“Iron Man 2”), and movie actor Vin Diesel (“Fast Five”). Late stars getting a marker include actor Richard Burton and singer/producer Barry White. (No Bono, Leonardo DiCaprio, or Robert Redford on the walk as yet … but Vin Diesel?).
• In a not-so-surprising turn of events, it’s been revealed fame-hungry Kim Kardashian & her NBA fiancé Kris Humphries (NJ Nets) will be airing their wedding day on E! television in a 2-hour stand-alone special. Her sister Khloé Kardashian’s wedding special raked in 3.2 million viewers, and network execs expect Kim’s to easily surpass that. On the print side, “People” is said to be the front runner for the exclusive rights to the wedding photos. (Hey Kim, sold the divorce yet?)
• Meantime, it looks like Kim Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend isn’t quite over the reality show star. New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush is currently dating … a Kardashian impersonator. Melissa Molinaro’s most visible gig so far has been channeling Kim in an Old Navy ad that had many doing a double take. (To get the full effect, she has to wear hip pads.)
• Actor Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”) is one of countless celebrities who took to Twitter on the weekend to celebrate the news that the state of New York made same-sex marriages legal on Friday. Harris says he hopes to wed his longtime partner David Burtka soon. The couple, who’ve been wearing engagement rings for about 5 years, became parents of fraternal twins through a surrogate last year. (Fathers Day is gonna be expensive for these kids.)
• When 25-year-old “Playboy” cover girl Crystal Harris dumped the mag’s 85-year-old publisher Hugh Hefner, he was a gentleman and let her keep the engagement ring. It seems she’s not waiting to try and cash in. She was spotted in a San Diego CA jewelry store Friday attempting to have the 3-carat sparkler appraised, but the jeweler wanted the documentation behind the bauble before he’d offer her a price. Estimates say it’s worth about 90-grand. (Somehow out of all this, she comes off looking sleazy and Hef just seems like a sad old man.)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Ke$ha (“I Am the Dance Commander & I Command You to Dance”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Usher (“Raymond v Raymond”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Steel Magnolia (“Steel Magnolia”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Black Angels (“Phosphene Dream”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Dawes (“North Hills”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – David Gray (“Foundling”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Lloyd (“Southside”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/A Channel) – Shania Twain (“Today’s the Day”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Marc Anthony (“Iconos”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – OneRepublic (“Waking Up”).

• Avril Lavigne – She’s been dating Brody Jenner for over a year, but he’s nowhere to be seen during her vacation on the French Riviera. In fact, the man on the receiving end of her affections during one yachting party was none other than her ex-husband, Deryck Whibley of Sum 41.
• The Black Keys – Tonight their new summer tour launches in Vancouver, featuring a revolving door of opening acts including Cage the Elephant, Booker T Jones, and Nicole Atkins & The Black Sea.
• Evanscence – Amy Lee tells MTV News that the band’s long-in-the-works new album will simply be self-titled. “Evanescence” is slated for release October 4th.
• Jake Owen – The woman in his life is Orlando FL model Lacey Buchanan, whom he met when she appeared in his 2009 video for “Eight Second Ride”. She’s also in his latest video, “Barefoot Blue Jean Night”, which was filmed in his hometown of Vero Beach FL.
• Leona Lewis – The Brit singer is saying goodbye to her Los Angeles home, listing it for a comparatively modest $2.5 million. It’s just a few miles from the legendary ‘Spelling Manor’ … which just sold for $85 million.
• Miranda Lambert – Her side project, Pistol Annies (with Ashley Monroe & Angaleena Presley), has signed a recording contract to make albums under the separate entity. They’ll digitally release “Hell on Heels” this week.
• Prince – He tells “The Guardian” he plans to stop releasing music, at least temporarily, due to Internet piracy. Quote: “Nobody’s making money now except phone companies, Apple, and Google.”
• SuperHeavy – The debut album from the ‘supergroup’ featuring Mick Jagger, Eurythmics founder Dave Stewart, singer Joss Stone, composer AR Rahman, and reggae artist Damian Marley, will be released in September. Jagger and Stewart are co-producing the project.

It seems women really do have so-called ‘gaydar’, the ability to identify a gay man, according to new research at the University of Toronto. The psychology study finds women can accurately identify potential mates during ovulation by looking at their faces, suggesting they may have developed the skill through evolution in order to filter out partners who are unlikely to give them children. Interestingly, this effect is not apparent when a woman is judging another female’s orientation. (Can guys spot a lesbian? Sure … it’s any woman that turns them down.)
– “The Telegraph”

Female tennis players who grunt too loudly are putting off their opponents and spoiling the game for spectators according to Ian Ritchie, chief executive of the All England Lawn & Tennis Club, site of the 125th Wimbledon Championships now underway. So how loud are they? One player, Victoria Azarenka of Belarus, has been measured grunting at 95 decibels. That’s equal to the sound generated by a power lawnmower or a passing subway train at 200 feet. (We say it depends who’s grunting. When it’s Maria Sharapova … it’s hot!)

According to a new ranking, these are music’s highest earners 2010-11, based on each artist’s share of revenue generated …
10. Dave Matthews Band … $51 million.
9. Justin Bieber … $53 million.
8. The Eagles … $60 million.
7. Black Eyed Peas … $61 million.
6. Paul McCartney … $67 million.
5. Michael Bublé … $70 million.
4. Lady Gaga … $90 million.
3. Elton John … $100 million.
2. Bon Jovi … $125 million.
1. U2 … $195 million (“360 World Tour” is now the highest-grossing tour of all-time).

Two new studies from the University of Texas show that the ideal post-workout recovery drink is … a chocolate milkshake. Lead researcher Dr John Ivy says both serious and amateur athletes alike enjoy more physical recovery benefits when they drink low-fat chocolate milk after vigorous activity than sports beverages. Ivy thinks there may be something in the naturally-occurring protein and carbohydrate mix in chocolate shakes that offers significant benefits. (Next we’ll be finding out the most effective pre-game meal is a burger & fries.)
– “Mail Online”

• Urban pigeons remember who will feed them and who will chase them away. (And dive bomb accordingly.)
– BBC News
• The health of your spouse is a strong a predictor of your own health, according to a new study. (Aren’t you glad you married a couch potato?)


1966 [45] JJ (Jeffrey Jacob) Abrams, NYC, TV writer/producer/director (“Fringe” since 2008, “Lost” 2004-10)/movie producer/director (“Super 8”, “Star Trek”)  UP NEXT: “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” (out December 16th); untitled “Star Trek” sequel (2012).

1971 [40] Jo Frost, London, England, TV personality (“Supernanny” since 2004)

1975 [36] Tobey Maguire, Santa Monica CA, movie actor (“Spider-Man 1-3”, “Seabiscuit”)  COMING UP: “Life of Pi” (2012); “The Great Gatsby” (2012).

1976 [35] Leigh Nash, New Braunfels TX, pop singer (Sixpence None the Richer-“There She Goes”, “Kiss Me”)

1984 [27] Khloé Kardashian, Trona CA, reality TV personality (“Khloé & Lamar” 2011; “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” since 2007)/sister of Kourtney, Kim, and Robert Kardashian

1987 [24] Ed Westwick, Stevenage UK, TV actor (‘Chuck Bass’ on “Gossip Girl” since 2007)  COMING UP: “J Edgar” (out December 14th); “Romeo & Juliet” (2012).

• “Canadian Multiculturalism Day”, an opportunity to celebrate our diversity and to appreciate the contributions of the various multicultural groups and communities to Canadian society.

• “Decide to Be Married Day”, focusing on the joys of the ball-and-chain. Ask listeners for advantages to being married that you rarely hear about.

• “HIV Testing Day”, an annual campaign by the National Association of People with AIDS to encourage at-risk individuals to receive voluntary HIV counselling and testing.

• “Lemonade Day”, not the concentrate or the fake stuff … the real deal! So, ‘fess up, what’s your secret recipe?

• “Please Take My Children to Work Day”, a day to let stay-at-home moms have a good laugh and maybe get a little appreciation.

• “Sunglasses Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of the 1942 debut of ‘Ray-Ban Sunglasses’. Shades as we know them today are a 20th-century phenomenon. In the 1930s, the military commissioned glasses that would protect pilots from sun glare. But they didn’t become a real fad until the 1960s when an ad campaign asked, “Who’s behind those Foster Grants?”.

1966 [45] Gothic daytime soap “Dark Shadows” premieres on ABC-TV (a bigscreen version starring Johnny Depp is coming in 2012)

2001 [10] Academy Award-winning actor Jack Lemmon (“The Apartment,” “Days of Wine & Roses”) dies in Los Angeles at age 76

2006 [05] “Superman Returns” opens in movie theaters, starring Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, and Kevin Spacey

1859 [152] The melody of the world’s most-sung song, “Happy Birthday to You”, is composed by Louisville KY school teacher Mildred J Hill (published in 1893 as “Good Morning to All” with lyrics written by her sister Patty Smith Hill)  BS FACTOID: According to statistics, the song is sung somewhere in the world every minute of every day.

1986 [25] American tennis player Anne White wears only a body stocking to play in the Wimbledon Championships, shocking officials and fans

2005 [06] At age 46, Julio Franco of the Atlanta Braves becomes ‘Oldest MLB Baseball Player to Hit a Grand Slam’ (vs Florida Marlins)

[Tues] Insurance Awareness Day
[Wed] “Transformers: Dark Of the Moon” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] Camera Day
[Thurs] Meteor Day
[Fri] Canada Day

Assistant Principals Week / Fish Are Friends, Not Food! Week / Mosquito Control Awareness Week / Prevention of Eye Injuries Awareness


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Confused guests constantly mistake ‘Muffy’ for a beanbag chair.
• There are fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches.
• You’ve replaced the cat food dish with a front-end loader.
• It’s no longer safe to lift her without a spotter.
• He waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
• She only catches mice that get trapped in her gravitational pull.
• His enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
• She has even more chins than lives.
– First published in “BS” 2002

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

• Where can you get a nice portrait of you & your sheep? How about this photog who specializes in farmyard family portraits. Coolness!
• Listen up, zombies. The only dating website for the living-impaired is coming soon.

What cruel nickname did you have in school? Everybody gets picked on as a child, even celebrities. A few nicknames that stars got tagged with as kids …
• Cameron Diaz skinniness led to her being called ‘Skeleton’.
• Celine Dion’s long fangs earned her the moniker ‘Canine Dion’.
• Leonardo DiCaprio was nicknamed ‘Leonardo Retardo’ for cheating off classmates’ papers.
• Nicole Kidman was ‘Storky’ due to her height.
• Robert De Niro’s pale complexion earned him the nickname ‘Bobby Milk’.

Today’s Question: If you feel you are attractive, you are less likely to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pay for a meal.

Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.

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