Thursday, June 27, 2013        Edition: #5016

More From the Sheethouse!

✳ Today a traditional Catholic funeral for “Sopranos” star James Gandolfini takes place at NYC’s Church of St John the Divine. The actor’s remains were flown back from Italy on a private jet on Sunday night. 51-year-old Gandolfini died of a heart attack on June 19th in Rome while on vacation with his family. Last night Broadway dimmed its marquee lights for 1 minute in tribute to the actor. (Had he lived a full life and died at 80, would we care so much?)
✳ Following in the long line of beers attached to “Game of Thrones”, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, and those illegal bottles of “The Simpsons” famous ‘Duff Beer’ sold in the shadiest alleys in the Philippines, “Breaking Bad” will soon be getting a brew of its own – ‘Heisenberg’s Dark’, courtesy of Marble Brewery in Albuquerque NM where the show is shot. Marble beer has shown up in a several scenes throughout the run of the series. (The show’s final 8 episodes begin airing on August 11th.)
✳ Kim Kardashian reportedly gave friends fake baby pictures to see who would leak them. Seems she sensed that some of her peeps were going to hawk baby photos, so she plotted to catch the culprits quickly. She sent a half-dozen friends pics of a baby she claimed was North West … but was actually an impostor infant. Sure enough, someone tried to sell the pic to TMZ. And word has it she’s testing another group of buds, using a 2nd pic of another ‘stunt baby’. (With Kardashians like these, who needs frenemies?)
✳ In an experiment that makes movies available for online rental while they’re still showing in theaters, Disney and Sony have begun a Video-On-Demand system in South Korea. Hollywood studios have long argued that a ‘Premium VOD’ should have little effect on theater box office and this South Korean test is an attempt to prove that theory. The VOD rentals are priced at the equivalent of $9, far less than the $30 charged by DirecTV during a similar experiment in 2011. That test proved a failure. (To get the full theater experience, charge yourself 20 bucks for some greasy cold popcorn.)
✳ And a combined total of 256 million people now watch BBC News worldwide, according to a new estimate released by the corporation this week. That’s up 7% over last year’s estimate which is pretty impressive considering the BBC World Service is emerging from a difficult period of funding cuts and the closure of services. (To put that number in perspective, it’s more than 10 times the news audience of US networks ABC, CBS, and NBC … combined!)
– “The Guardian”

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – More hopefuls perform for the judges.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Eve (“Lip Lock”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Ellie Goulding (“Halcyon”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Neighbourhood (“I Love You”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Damien Jurado (“Maraqopa”);
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Dawes (“Stories Don’t End”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – R&B/soul music icon Booker T.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Grace Potter (“The Lion The Beast The Beat”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Natalie Cole (“Natalie Cole En Español”).

• Bon Jovi – Tonight they play a stadium gig in Madrid, Spain. It was announced weeks ago that ticket prices would be slashed to better accommodate cash-strapped Spanish fans. Like Greece, Spain has an unemployment rate above 25%.
• Justin Bieber – Following his split with Selena Gomez, Bieber has reportedly taken up with a Las Vegas waitress named Jordan Ozuna, the twosome looking ‘more than friendly’ according to witnesses who saw them at an indoor skydiving facility in Sin City.
• The Killers – Frontman Brandon Flowers underwent surgery last year for a curved acromion bone in his arm which was causing a painful pinched nerve in his left shoulder. He has since discovered the injury was exacerbated by his habit of … scooping up his 3 young sons.
• Miley Cyrus – She’s set a new record on VEVO with the video for “We Can’t Stop”. The clip racked up 10.7 million views its first 24 hours, surpassing the previous record of 10.6 million for Justin Bieber’s “Beauty & The Beat” f/Nicki Minaj.
• Taylor Swift – Abercrombie & Fitch has been forced to axe a T-shirt that read ‘# more boyfriends than t.s.” after hundreds of angry tweens complained.
• 30 Seconds to Mars – Frontman Jared Leto has donned a lacy pink blouse, pink wig, dramatic false eyelashes, and red lipstick for his first outing as a ‘cover girl’ for transgender magazine “Candy”. The rocker is said to be unrecognizable on the cover of the Summer issue.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Child 44” – Philip Seymour Hoffman has joined the cast of this film adaptation of Tom Rob Smith’s bestseller, the first novel of a trilogy that centers around a disgraced member the Soviet Union military police during the Stalin era. Hoffman joins Tom Hardy, Noomi Rapace, and Gary Oldman in the film, which is planned for release sometime in 2014.
• George Jones Biopic – The turbulent life of singer George Jones will be turned into a film. The country music legend died at age 81 in April. His 4th wife, Nancy Sepulvado, has been involved with the film’s writing. Until their marriage in 1983, Jones struggled with alcoholism and bankruptcy, but claimed that Nancy helped to turn his life around in his final 30 years.
• “Independence Day 2” – Will Smith has been ruled out as the star of this planned sequel to the 1996 alien invasion blockbuster because he is ‘too expensive’, according to director Roland Emmerich. Smith appeared alongside Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman in the original. The follow-up is planned for 2015.
• “Maggie” – In this twist on the horror genre, 65-year-old action veteran Arnold Schwarzenegger will play a doting father who helps his daughter adjust to her slow transformation into a member of the walking dead after she becomes infected with a terrifying zombie virus. Production on “Maggie” is expected to begin this Autumn.
• “Taken 3” – Oscar-nominated actor Liam Neeson is reportedly up for one more dangerous mission as retired CIA operative ‘Bryan Mills’, thanks to a $20-million deal. There’s no word as yet if Famke Janssen and Maggie Grace will return to reprise their roles from the first 2 films (2008, 2012) as the agent’s wife and daughter, and there’s no director currently attached.

The sleep-aid industry encompasses everything from specialty mattresses and hi-tech pillows to medications and at-home tests that promise to help the sleep-deprived measure and improve their Zs. But here a few truths the multi-billion-dollar industry isn’t so eager to share …
• Money can’t buy you sleep. The solution may have more to do with lifestyle changes, behavioral therapy, and/or better sleep habits.
• It’s what happens after you fall off to sleep that matters. While some sleep-aids might help you get to sleep faster, they may not help you stay asleep.
• Naps are better than sleeping binges. Can you catch up on lost sleep on the weekend? Most experts say no, but naps may provide some relief.
• If you’re a woman or over age 65, less medication is advised as you’re more likely to have adverse reactions, such as daytime drowsiness, dizziness, and hallucinations.
• Lack of sleep may be the least of your problems. It might only be a symptom of sleep apnea, anxiety, or other issues.
• Don’t bet on a fancy mattress. You may toss-and-turn just as much on a pricy new mattress with memory foam, edge support, and other doodads as you did on your old bed.
• You might get hooked. People taking sleeping pills for a prolonged period often develop a tolerance and begin taking extras to feel the effects. Higher doses can increase risk of dependency and withdrawal symptoms.

Women are at their ‘most attractive’ at age 30, men at 34. That’s the conclusion of a nationwide poll of 2,000 people. Furthermore, the poll suggests women start to show ‘signs of aging’ at age 41, stop looking ‘sexy’ at 53, and are ‘old’ at 55. The survey respondents say men show ‘signs of aging’ at 43, stop ‘looking good’ at 58, and are ‘old’ at 59. High profile women currently aged 30 include Hollywood stars Anne Hathaway and Kirsten Dunst, and “Mad Men” actress Elisabeth Moss. (We’re guessing the average age of people surveyed is 12.)
– “Allure Magazine”

The latest E-Poll ranking top celebs’ marketability, based on income from tours, books, contracts, endorsements, movies, and residuals …
10. Ellen DeGeneres
9. Justin Bieber
8. Roger Federer
7. Jon Bon Jovi
6. Taylor Swift
5. Madonna
4. Beyoncé
3. Steven Spielberg
2. Lady Gaga
1. Oprah Winfrey

Women find a man in a plain white T-shirt up to 12% more attractive, according to researchers at Britain’s Nottingham Trent University. That, they say, is because a plain white T can create an illusion that broadens the shoulders and slims the waist, producing a more V-shaped body, which is a top sign of masculinity. Interestingly, the highest increase in attractiveness is for men who are the most out of the shape; men who are already well-toned only see a slight increase in their hotness. (Yup, nothin’ sexier than seeing dad’s beer gut bulging beneath an undershirt.)
– “Daily Mail”

The nomadic Arabic group known as the Bedouin have been cited in the “Guinness Book of World Records” for the ‘Largest Item on Any Menu In the World’. The mammoth meal is an entire camel stuffed with a lamb … stuffed with chickens … stuffed with fish or maybe a few dozen eggs. The traditional Bedouin dish is prepared for wedding feasts and special parties. The cooking instructions are very strict about making sure you boil the camel for the correct length of time. (Um, how? In a Jacuzzi?)

In the world of online dating, a 5-foot-8-inch man has to make $146,000 more per year than a 6-foot-tall man in order to get the same number of dates.


1966 [47] JJ (Jeffrey Jacob) Abrams, NYC, movie producer-director (“Star Trek” films, “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol”)/TV writer-producer-director (“Fringe” 2008-13, “Lost” 2004-10)

1975 [38] Tobey Maguire, Santa Monica CA, movie actor (“The Great Gatsby”, “Spider-Man” films)

1984 [29] Khloé Kardashian, Trona CA, reality TV personality (“Khloé & Lamar” 2011; “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” since 2007)/sister of Kourtney, Kim, and Robert Kardashian

1987 [26] Ed Westwick, Stevenage UK, TV actor (“Gossip Girl” 2007-12)/movie actor (“J Edgar”)

• “Canadian Multiculturalism Day”, an opportunity to celebrate the country’s diversity and to appreciate the contributions of Canada’s various multicultural groups and communities.

• “Decide to Be Married Day”, focusing on the joys of the ball-and-chain. Ask listeners for advantages to being married that you rarely hear about.

• “Industrial Workers Of the World Day”, to draw attention to workers in manufacturing and their importance in producing the goods that we consume and rely on. (Thank-you, China.)

• “Sunglasses Day”, the 71st anniversary of the 1942 debut of ‘Ray-Ban Sunglasses’. Shades are a 20th-century phenomenon. In the 1930s, the military commissioned glasses that would protect pilots from sun glare. But they didn’t become a real fad until the 1960s when an ad campaign asked, “Who’s behind those Foster Grants?”

• “Watermelon Thump”, the 60th annual 4-day celebration in Luling, Texas, home of the ‘World Champion Seed-Spitting Contest’ in which the Guinness Record was established at 68-ft, 9-ins.

2006 [07] “Superman Returns” opens in movie theaters, starring Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, and Kevin Spacey (the attempted reboot of the series fails to click)

1998 [15] Anne Murray, Bryan Adams, and Gordon Lightfoot are the first 3 honorees to be awarded a place on the new Canada’s Walk of Fame in Toronto

1859 [154] The melody of the world’s most-sung song, “Happy Birthday to You”, is composed by Louisville KY school teacher Mildred J Hill (published in 1893 as “Good Morning to All” with lyrics written by her sister Patty Smith Hill)  BS FACTOID: Warner Music has been collecting millions in royalties for public performance of the song, but the makers of a new documentary about the ditty are now suing, claiming that it should be in the public domain.

2005 [08] At age 46, Julio Franco of the Atlanta Braves becomes ‘Oldest MLB Baseball Player to Hit a Grand Slam’ (vs Florida Marlins)

[Fri] “The Heat”; “White House Down” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Glastonbury Festival begins (Pilton UK)
[Sat] Roskilde Festival begins (Roskilde, Denmark)
[Sun] “Dexter” season debut (Showtime/TMN)
[Sun] “BET Awards” (BET)
[Sun] National Organization for Women Day
This Week Is … Assistant Principals Week
This Month Is … Gay & Lesbian Pride Month


• Replace the pads on your Beats By Dre Headphones with frozen hamburger patties.
• Go into Tim Hortons, soak feet in the ice cap machine.
• Chill a couple of used tea bags; hold one under each arm.
• Enter a wet T-shirt contest … in a wind tunnel.
• Go to a morgue and ask if you can sleep in one of the drawers.
• Drain your air conditioner and make a refreshing frozen smoothie.
• Crawl back under that rock you came from.
• 2 parts hydrogen + 1 part oxygen = delicious homemade water.
• Take a piece of cardboard and wave it in front of your face, dumbass!

Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

☎ What makes a TV show great?

Some Kickstarter projects aren’t all that impressive. In, fact some are just plain dumb. For instance, ‘Artisanal Tinfoil Haberdashery’. Would you donate to this?

Question: A nuclear engineer invented THIS, using a piece of PVC pipe and a Coke bottle.
Answer: The ‘Super Soaker’.

To every exception there is a rule.

Monthly Planning Calendar in tomorrow’s “BS”!

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