Wednesday, June 28, 2017 – Edition: #6006

Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” is off for a holiday July 3-7 inclusive. Subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Sir Daniel Day-Lewis will reportedly work as a haute couture dressmaker when he retires from  acting. The 3-time Oscar-winner – who is known for his ‘method’ approach to his profession – recently revealed his plan to stop acting, and insiders claim he found a new passion while doing some intense research for his role as an ”an uncompromising dressmaker commissioned by royalty and high society” in the upcoming film ‘Phantom Thread’, which is set in the world of 1950s haute couture fashion in London. (I did not see that coming…)
-ContactMusic
★ After denying that they’re romantically involved, Sienna Miller has once again been getting cozy with Brad Pitt. Now reports are that Miller and Pitt — whose production company, Plan B, produced her latest movie, “The Lost City Of Z” — were “seen holding hands and stroking each other during a late night party” at the Glastonbury music festival in the UK over the weekend. (Let me be first!  ‘Brenna’? Nope, that doesn’t work…’Pitter’?…’Millett’?…hmm…‘Briller’?
-PageSix
★ Rebel Wilson is set to launch a plus size fashion line this year.  The ‘Pitch Perfect’ star is ”very excited” for the big unveil, although she has kept details of the release close to her chest. This is not Rebel’s first foray into the fashion industry.  Two years ago she joined forces with the plus-size label Torrid to launch a capsule collection.
-ContactMusic
★ Howie Mandel says the hardest part of playing a Boston doctor on the 1980s medical drama ‘St. Elsewhere’ wasn’t the medical jargon — it was his Canadian accent. The Toronto-born ‘America’s Got Talent’ judge says, “I can’t tell you how many times they stopped filming because I said ‘intes-tyne’ instead of ‘intest-tin,’ or I said ‘dra-ma’ instead of ‘draw-ma.”’
(Just call your car keys ‘khakis’ and everyone will think you are from Boston!)
-Jam.Canoe
★  In ‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’, new Spidey star Tom Holland gets to team up with Iron Man for his first solo movie. If he were given the choice for a partner in the sequel, Holland says he would take Ant-Man.  He says he thinks they could have a lot of fun with Spider-Man and Ant-Man together.  The ‘Homecoming’ sequel already has a release date: July 5, 2019. (Spider-Man and Ant-Man?  Who is the villain?  A can of Raid?)
-Jam.Canoe

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Justin Theroux, Snoop Dogg ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kristen Wiig, Paul Dano, Macklemore featuring Skylar Grey
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Josh Duhamel, Justin Bartha, Brian Greene
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sean “Diddy” Combs, Hilary Duff, Edgar Wright, Sam Fogarino
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Leighton Meester, Dominic Monaghan, Blake Griffin, Judah and the Lion ( R )
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Joseph Fiennes, No Parents, Chris Shiflett, Eugene Mirman ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Salma Hayek ( R )
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Wendy Liebman, Chuck Sklar, Doug Benson ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Carl Reiner, Lauren Lapkus, Hurray For The Riff Raff ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dorinda Medley, Fredrik Eklund
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, Adriana Trigiani
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jane Lynch, James Arthur, Jaymes Vaughan, guest co-hosts Dax Shepard & Christie Brinkley
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ansel Elgort, Dua Lipa, guest co-host Busy Philipps
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): LeBron James, Aly Raisman and her parents Lynn & Rick, Jared Haibon, Ashley Iaconetti, Caila Quinn, Britney Spears ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Lamar Odom
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Carla Gugino, Jill Goodacre, Billy Gardell ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Brandon T. Jackson, guest co-host Kandi Burruss ( R )
• “Big Brother” (CBS): The houseguests encounter tempting offers for money, power and safety; new twists are revealed.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Stevie Nicks – has recorded a new version of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Gypsy’ for the upcoming Netflix series of the same name.  ‘Gypsy’ stars Naomi Watts and premieres on Friday.  Nicks says the new version is much closer to the way she envisioned it when she wrote it – on piano.
• Rush – have had three capybaras at Toronto’s High Park Zoo named after them.  In a public vote, ‘Geddy Lee’, ‘Alex Lifeson’ and ‘Neil Peart’ were the overwhelming winners.  Lee reports that the real band members are thrilled but he couldn’t figure out which one was him, because none were wearing glasses.
• Mac Miller posted a sweet tribute to his girlfriend Ariana Grande on Instagram for her 24th birthday: ”Happy Birthday to this adorable pure soul who has reminded me what being happy feels like. Thank you for loving me so good. I think it’s supposed to be ”so well” but I don’t care. I love you and can’t wait for all of the adventures.”  The couple have been dating since August 2016.
• AC/DC – guitarist Angus Young joined Guns N’ Roses for a surprise performance of a pair of classic songs. The pairing delivered “Whole Lotta Rosie” and “Riff Raff” before a wildly enthusiastic crowd as part of the European leg of G N’R’s ‘Not In This Lifetime’ tour.
• Britney Spears – while in Thailand for a couple shows, she took to social media to express how much she loves the country.  Thailand must feel the same about her: Four flight attendants from Thai carrier ‘Nok Air’ recreated the iconic airplane-themed music video for Spears’ 2003 track “Toxic” to welcome her to the country.
• Lady Antebellum, Brad Paisley and Craig Campbell –  will all help celebrate the Fourth of July in New York City this year. The three, as well as a number of other stars, will take part in the 2017 Macy’s Fourth of July Fireworks Spectacular event.
• Kenny Chesney – is asking students at Nashville’s Belmont and Middle Tennessee State Universities to create his next video.  He is asking them to submit their own music video for the song “All the Pretty Girls” for a chance to win a $5,000 scholarship. The winning video will also premiere on CMT.

GOOGLE THE WORDS ‘BIG BROTHER’:
Google has announced that they will stop reading your email.  That’s right, somewhere in the agreement that you clicked on without reading when you signed up for a ‘Gmail’ account, is a stipulation that allowed them to scan all of your email in order for them to provide personalized ads.  And to do whatever else they would like to do with the info they gleaned from what you wrote to Grandma.  According to a release from the company, the Google bots will no longer scan customers’ personal email for advertising purposes.  The company will, however, still scan emails to detect things like spam, hacking and phishing attempts.  Removing email scanning for ad personalization doesn’t mean Gmail will go ad-free, however. Advertisements will now be targeted to you based on things like your internet searches, browsing activity, and even physical locations.
(Uh-oh!)
(Apparently they only snooped through your ‘sent’ emails.  Which I was sort of relieved to hear!)
(I’m glad THEY can access my Gmail, because I haven’t been able to remember my password for months!)
-Google

BLACK COFFEE, BLACK HEART:
If you drink your coffee black, a new study in the journal ‘Appetite’ says you might be a psychopath.  The research, carried out at the University of Innsbruck, seems to show a correlation between a love of black coffee and sadist or psychopathic tendencies.  More than 1,000 adults were surveyed, and asked to give their food and flavor preferences. The participants then took a series of personality tests assessing antisocial personality traits, such as sadism, narcissism and psychopathy.   Bottom line:  a preference for bitter flavors was linked to psychopathic behavior. On the other hand, maybe you are just someone who prefers strong flavor and wants to drink your coffee the way it’s supposed to be drunk.
(So I’ve got THAT going for me…)
(Are we reaching just a little here?)
(It’s funny because my therapist said I display psychopathic tendencies too.  We’ll see about that!)
-Indy100

FEATURED ITEMS AT THE MUSEUM OF FAILURE:
The new ‘Museum of Failure’ in Sweden is a wacky parade of rejected products from the past collected together by clinical psychologist Samuel West.  He came up with the idea while on vacation.  Because that’s what psychologists do while on vacation.  Here are some of the featured items:
✓ Green Heinz Ketchup (nothing green looks good on french fries)
✓ Fatfree Pringles Chips (google ‘olestra’ to find out the side effects)
✓ Colgate Frozen Lasagna
✓ Coca-Cola BlaK coffee soda beverage
✓ Pepsi Crystal clear soda (still waiting for clear gravy…)
✓ Harley-Davidson eau-de-toilette (not to mention the Harley Christmas ornaments and Barbie dolls….true!)
✓ Donald Trump ‘I’m Back and You’re Fired’ board game (an even more boring Monopoly knock-off)
✓ Google Class A.R. headset (geekware that even geeks hated because it didn’t work properly)
✓ Segway 2-wheeled electric mobility device (awkward when the man who bought the company
dies after driving one over a cliff)
(Wouldn’t it be ironic if the Museum of Failure failed?)
-AP

GUY BEHAVIORS THAT WOMEN FIND ANNOYING:
• Video Game Marathoning (I didn’t even know ‘marathoning’ was a word…and I’ve been doing it for years!)
• Admiring yourself in the mirror at the gym: the equivalent of lady selfies. And we all despise the fish face.
• Wearing clothes straight out of the hamper: If they don’t pass the sniff test, they should go right back in! (Hamper?  How about right off the floor?)
• Dousing your dirty clothes in cologne:  Being overly scented falls on the opposite end of the stink spectrum from BO, but it’s equally horrifying.  (How about dousing CLEAN clothes in cologne?)
-The Chest Plate: Using your body as a sort of flesh food tray, while lying down and watching TV, is not considered multitasking. At least respect your food enough to put it on a plate. (Especially in a restaurant!)
**(See today’s phone starter)**
-Men’sHealth

BS CHRONOMETER 6.28.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [91] Mel Brooks (Kaminsky), Brooklyn NY, Broadway producer (“The Producers”)/movie director (“Blazing Saddles”)

1948 [69] Kathy Bates, Memphis TN, movie actress (“Midnight in Paris”, “Misery”), TV actress (“American Horror Story”)

1966 [51] John Cusack, Evanston IL, movie actor (“Say Anything”, “Runaway Jury”)

1976 [41] Tim Nordwind, Kalamazoo MI, alt-rock bassist-singer (OK Go-”Here It Goes Again”)

1977 [40] Mark Stoermer, Houston TX, pop-rock bassist (The Killers-”When You Were Young”)

1986 [31] Kellie Pickler, Albemarle NC, TV personality (“I Love Kellie Pickler” 2015, “Dancing With the Stars” winner 2013/country singer (“Red High Hells”)/”American Idol” finalist 2006

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Insurance Awareness Day”.  Hmm, now who do you think came up with this one? Insurance is a gamble. If you buy it, you’re gambling that something will go wrong. If you don’t buy it, you’re gambling that something will not. (And even if it doesn’t, the rates still go up!)

• “International Body Piercing Day”, celebrated in piercing and modification communities worldwide. It coincides with the birthday of Jim Ward, the ‘father of modern piercing’.
(How do you suppose they recommend you observe this day?)

• “Tapioca Day”, honoring that stuff you put in pudding that looks like fish eyes.

• “CAPS LOCK DAY”, intended to poke fun at those individuals who unnecessarily capitalize letters, words, and phrases….NOW STOP YELLING!

• “Paul Bunyan Day”, celebrating the famous American fable about the giant lumberjack who performed incredible feats such as scooping out the Great Lakes to get water for ‘Babe’, his blue ox.

AND REMEMBER…
[Thurs] Handshake Day
[Thurs] Camera Day
[Thurs] Waffle Iron Day
[Fri] Social Media Day
[Fri] Meteor Day
[Fri] Organization for Women Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [19] 1st TV ratings week in which more viewers watch cable/satellite channels than broadcast channels (that Home & Garden channel is riveting, isn’t it?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2007 [10] Spice Girls announce they’ll reform for a world tour to take place in December 2007 and January 2008 with the original line-up (last year, 3 of them got together under the name “The Spice Girls–GEM)

2013 [04] Coldplay’s 2011 headline appearance on the Glastonbury Pyramid Stage is voted the all-time top Glastonbury moment by BBC Radio listeners BS FUN FACT: “Consequence of Sound” says Foo Fighters delivered the best performance of Glastonbury 2017.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1953 [64] GM workers assemble the 1st ‘Corvette’ sports car in Flint, Michigan List price?  U.S. $3,498.  Now? $65,495

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1988 [29] An ostrich at the Israeli Kibbutz Ha’on lays the ‘Heaviest Bird Egg Ever Recorded’ … 5.1 lbs (2.3 kg)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
• 90% of text messages are read within 3 minutes of their delivery.
• Dead people can get goosebumps.
• Raindrops are shaped like hamburger buns, not teardrops.
• Alcohol is considered a performance-enhancing drug in gun competitions.
• There are 6.8 billion people on the planet at present. Only 3.5 million use a toothbrush.
-UberFacts

BS LAWS OF LIFE:
• Any action for which there is no logical explanation will be deemed company policy.
• On-line Tech Support is designed to provide everything short of actual help.
• A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution to a given problem.
• The most difficult bulb to replace burns out most frequently.
• Even the best of friends cannot attend each other’s funerals.
• Progress is the exchange of one nuisance for another.
• It is highly probable that you take yourself too seriously.
• When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
• When you need to jot down information received over the phone, the first pen you grab won’t work.
• A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
• If two wrongs don’t make a right, you should always try to make a third one.
• The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to it’s accuracy.
• In actuality, history doesn’t repeat it self – Historians merely repeat one another.
• There is no job so simple that cannot be screwed up beyond belief.
-IndyHumor

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎What guy behaviors do you know that women find annoying?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: There are two jobs where 95% of the workforce is female. One is a kindergarten teacher. What is the other?
Answer: Dental hygienist

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary to show it off.


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