Wednesday, June 29, 2016 – Edition: #5763

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★ ‘Darth Vader’ is making a comeback in the upcoming prequel spin-off, “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”. The first standalone “Star Wars” film is set just before “A New Hope”, the original movie in the series. It stars Brit actress Felicity Jones alongside Mads Mikkelsen and Forest Whitaker. It hasn’t yet been revealed who playing ‘Darth’ in “Rogue One”, which arrives in cinemas this December.
– “Newsbeat”
★ Author EL James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” books and movies have made her more than $69 million. Documents reveal her company Fifty Shades Limited earned £30 million (circa $40 million) last year alone after selling the rights for her first book. It was made into a film starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan. Filming is underway on the sequels “Fifty Shades Darker”, set for a 2017 release, and “Fifty Shades Freed”. James owns all of the company’s shares.
– “Daily Mirror”
★ Theater impresario Andrew Lloyd Webber is threatening legal action over a new Kardashian parody musical using songs from his hit production “Cats”. The off-Broadway comedy “Katdashians! Break the Musical!” mocks the reality TV family in a story about “Internet famous cats torn apart by fame, family, and friskies!” The production contains songs which parody those written by Webber for “Cats” and his legal team has warned producers to remove them.
★ And Daniel Radcliffe says he hasn’t ruled out a ‘Harry Potter’ comeback. The 26-year-old actor was an unknown before he landed the role of a lifetime when JK Rowling’s books about the child wizard were turned into a multi-million-dollar movie franchise. That was back in 2001.
But would he consider yet another sequel? Quote: “The circumstances would have to be pretty extraordinary. But then I am sure Harrison Ford said that with ‘Han Solo’ and look what happened there!”
– “Radio Times”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Wild Belle (“Dreamland”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Melanie Martinez (“Cry Baby”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Diarrhea Planet (“Turn to Gold”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Schoolboy Q (“Blank Face LP”, out July 8th).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Charlie Puth (“Nine Track Mind”).
• Summerfest (Milwaukee WI) – The annual series of concerts at multiple venues billed as ‘The World’s Largest Music Festival’ runs tonight-July 3rd and July 5th-10th. The extensive lineup includes Alabama Shakes, Blake Shelton, Chris Stapleton, Luke Brown, Paul McCartney, Pitbull, Sting w/Peter Gabriel, Tim McGraw, Weezer and more. Tonight’s opening acts: Fitz & The Tantrums; Joan Jett; Selena Gomez w/DNCE; Willie Nelson w/Kris Kristofferson.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tom Odell (“Wrong Crowd”). Rerun.

• Backstreet Boys – Brian Littrell has taken to Instagram to announce that their 8th album is due out in late August. They’re also collaborating on a track with Florida Georgia Line, whose 3rd studio album, “Dig Your Roots”, also arrives in August.
• Calvin Harris – The Scottish DJ has been Involved In another car calamity in Los Angeles. He apparently lost his cool this week while attempting to escape a paparazzo. Seems he was annoyed to find the snapper waiting for him outside a gym in Beverly Hills and in his haste to get away scraped the open passenger door of his Range Rover against a wall. Ch-ching.
• Lynyrd Skynyrd – Former drummer Artimus Pyle is developing a biopic about the band. “Free Bird”, named after the band’s 1973 hit, centers on the 1977 plane crash that killed lead singer Ronnie Van Zant, guitarist Steve Gaines, and backup singer Cassie Gaines. Production is slated to begin later this year.
• *NSYNC – Former boy band singer and TV personality Joey Fatone is adding businessman to his résumé as the owner of a new hot dog outlet in Orlando, Florida. He’s opening Fat One’s Hot Dog & Italian Ice at The Florida Mall this August.
• Lady Gaga – She’s been banned by Chinese authorities after her meeting with the Dalai Lama. She’s reportedly been added to a list of ‘hostile foreign forces’ for appearing at an event alongside the exiled Tibetan leader over the weekend.
• Prince – Today his iconic “Purple Rain” jacket goes up for sale by California auction house Profiles in History. He wore the grey & black blazer in the 1984 movie. The asking price was originally set at circa $8,000, however it’s expected to sell for much more now that he’s gone.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Their new album “The Getaway” has been critically hailed as one of their best efforts in years and fans seem to agree. It has debuted at #1 in Australia, Belgium, Ireland, the Netherlands, and New Zealand.
• Taylor Swift – She and new beau Tom Hiddleston have enjoyed a Roman holiday this week as they continue their European getaway. Their stop in Italy comes days after she arrived in the UK to meet Hiddleston’s mother Diana.

South Korea’s capital Seoul is installing 300 new street signs to warn pedestrians about the dangers of walking while engrossed in their phones. The first signs have been installed at 5 locations in the hope they’ll stop ‘smartphone zombies’ in their tracks. A pictograph on the signs shows a pedestrian staring at a handheld device, oblivious to an imminent collision with a car. While some signs are attached to traffic light poles, others have been plastered on sidewalks in an attempt to attract the lowered gaze of those distracted by their gadgets. the local Transportation Safety Authority recorded more than 1,000 smartphone-related traffic collisions in 2014 alone. (Should text-walking be made a misdemeanor?)
– #NewsfromElsewhere

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 85% of men never use the slit in their underwear. (Is that a vent?)
• 58% admit they’ve called into work sick when we weren’t. (The other 42% lie.)
• 50% of us admit to regularly sneaking food into movie theaters. (Ever since popcorn hit $20.)
• 39% of us peek in our host’s bathroom cabinet. (Oh look, hair dye for men!)
• 29% of us ignore an RSVP on an invitation. (Try it in English … “Get back to us, bozo!”)
• 5% of us never make the bed. (It’s difficult when 3 cats and a Rottweiler are still in it.)

• When it comes to ethnic food, Japanese, Thai, Greek, and Indian restaurants are often easier on the waistline than Mexican, Chinese, or Italian.
• Kick your meal off with a tomato- or stock-based soup rather than a calorie-rich cream-base.
• Ask for salad dressing to be served on the side and apply no more than 2 tablespoons.
• Your main plate should be 50% vegetables, 25% protein, and 25% grains.
• Beware of menu terms such as ‘pan-fried’, ‘crispy’, ‘dipped’, ‘scalloped’, ‘gratin’, and ‘alfredo’. Dishes featuring those loaded words have a lot of hidden fat and sodium.
• Don’t be afraid to ask your server how food is prepared, particularly regarding butter, oil, and salt content.
• Pick lower-calorie dessert choices such as sorbets or non-dairy gelatos. Or instead of getting a dessert, have a skim milk latte.
– Condensed from

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Jafaican’ [jah-FAKE-an] – An English dialect characterized by the use of accents and slang terms that borrow from or mimic Jamaican English. (“Big tings happen when you fluffy.”)
• ‘Trickle-Down Racism’ – Racism caused by emulating, learning from, or following the example set by a leader. (Are we listening, Mr Trump?)
• ‘Yaysayer’ – A person who is generally inclined to agree or to act in a positive manner. (Used to be called a ‘yes-man’.)

You’re out of shampoo so what to do? Keep squeezing? Add water and shake? Thank goodness there’s a new invention that means the last drops of shampoo will never get stuck inside the bottle. Researchers at Ohio State University have developed a magical coating that makes shower gel, shampoo, and conditioner slide right off the inside of the container. The coating works by lining plastic with microscopic Y-shaped structures, that hold the droplets of liquid aloft above tiny air pockets, so the contents never actually touch the inside of the bottle. (Awesome. Does it work with Scotch?)
– “Metro”

• Driving Too Slowly – Vehicles moving slower than the flow of traffic can become dangerous obstacles.
• Double Parking – Instead of protecting your precious vehicle by hogging 2 spots in a parking lot, park in the boonies at the edge of the lot and walk. It will do you some good.
• Honking at Traffic Lights – Reduce your stress by letting the guy in front of you take that extra half-second to go when the light turns green. You’ll likely meet again at the next light anyway.
• Leaving Your Brights On – Keeping your high-beams on is more than just a D-bag move; blinding oncoming traffic is dangerous. Use your high-beams only when necessary.
• Not Letting Others Merge – Refusing to budge to allow another vehicle onto the freeway is not only a dick move, it has the potential to cause a pretty severe accident.
• Not Using Turn Signals – It takes so little effort to let others know if and when you are intending to turn or change lanes. It’s not only safer … it’s simple courtesy.
• Sharing Your Music – Cranking your sub-woofer so that anyone within 5 blocks feels the Earth move is really impressive … if you’re 12.
• Tailgating – Riding the bumper of the car in front of you won’t help you get to where you need to be any sooner. So why drive up another driver’s blood pressure for no reason?
– Adapted from

Elderly monkeys choose to have fewer friends.
– “New Scientist”


1968 [48] Judith Hoag, Newburyport MA, TV actress (‘Tandy Hampton’ on “Nashville” since 2012)

1978 [38] Nicole Scherzinger, Honolulu HI, TV personality (“The X Factor UK” 2016, “The X Factor US” 2011)/pop singer (“Don’t Hold Your Breath”, Pussycat Dolls-“Don’t Cha”)

1982 [34] Lily Rabe, NYC, TV actress (“American Horror Story: Hotel” 2015-16, “The Whispers” 2015)

• “Camera Day”, which has unknown origins but it is always celebrated on June 29th each year. The day celebrates the camera and its value to society. (Check Instagram for some of these ‘valuable’ contributions … mostly involving cats.)

• “Hug Holiday”, which encourages us to give hugs to those who really need them. The focus is on the elderly, sick and invalid, lonely people, and anyone who needs the warmth, cheer, and love that a hug provides. Be sure to ask first.

• “International Mud Day”, a fun day for children and/or the child inside all of us. To celebrate, all that’s needed is some water and some dirt. Mix them together, and you’re ready to rumble!

• “Remote Control Day”, a favorite celebration of couch potatoes everywhere. The first remote was sold with a TV on this date in 1964. Zenith Radio Corporation’s ‘Lazy Bones’ used a wire cable that ran from the TV set to the viewer.

• “Waffle Iron Day”, which celebrates the great kitchen gadget that makes tasty treats. The waffle dates back to the 1300s in Greece, where Greeks cooked flat cakes between two metal pans. At the time, they topped it with cheeses and herbs. (Pancake syrup wasn’t around yet.)

2003 [13] Movie star Katherine Hepburn, winner of a record 4 Oscars for ‘Best Actress’, dies in Old Saybrook CT at age 96

2012 [04] After 5 years of marriage, actors Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes announce plans to divorce

2000 [16] The casket holding Lynyrd Skynyrd lead singer Ronnie Van Zandt is stolen from its mausoleum in Jacksonville FL, then abandoned after vandals are unable to open it

2007 [09] Apple Inc officially releases the ‘iPhone’ (before this we weren’t staring at our right hands 18 hours a day)

2011 [05] Pope Benedict XVI performs the 1st ‘tweet’ ever made by a pontiff

2014 [02] Islamic State of Iraq & the Levant declares itself a caliphate in Syria and northern Iraq (first known as ‘ISIL’, then ‘ISIS’, and now most often ‘Islamic State’ or ‘Daesh’)

1991 [25] ‘World’s Longest Burrito’ is created in Newton KS, measuring 1,598 ft (487 m) and using 2,557 tortillas, 75 lbs (34 kg) of cheese, and 607 lbs (275 kg) of refried beans

[Thurs] “Greatest Hits” debuts (ABC)
[Thurs] National Organization for Women (NOW) Day
[Thurs] Social Media Day
[Fri] “The BFG”; “The Legend of Tarzan”; “The Purge: Election Year” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Water Ski Week
This Month Is … Bathroom Reading Month


• Kids Bedtime! – Followed by an immediate glass of wine.
• Second Wind – Despite your repeated promises to yourself to go to bed by 9 pm you find yourself still up at 11. ‘Me-time’ is just too precious.
• Disbelief – There’s no way that’s my child crying. Definitely not. Next door must have a baby staying over.
• Desperation – If I run to the kitchen to get a bottle of milk maybe it’ll send him back to sleep.
• Caffeine – Early, early coffee infusion, leading to an immediate improvement in mood.
• More Caffeine – How many coffees is it acceptable to drink before 6 am?
• Positivity – Who needs sleep anyway? I can totally nail today.
• The Slump – Are you weeping into that cup of coffee or are your eyes just so tired they’re watering constantly?
• Blankness – You walk into a room and forget why you’re there. You forget what you’re saying halfway through a sentence.
• Creativity – You invent games to play with your children that involve you lying down and/or closing your eyes.
• “Peppa Pig” on Netflix – Look at this, babykins. It’s really interesting. Honest.
• Repeat – All too soon it’s 5:30 am again and the kids are up.
– Adapoted from

What unusual thing do you wear while you sleep?

Even if you cut off its head, which can live for several weeks?
a. Cockroach [CORRECT]
b. Caterpillar
c. Intern

That town was so small the only way to get there was on a Lionel Train.

Question: Hard to believe but more than half of people polled actually enjoy THIS.
Answer: Going to the airport … the whole experience.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren’t there the first time you need them, chances are you won’t be needing them again.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Issue!

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