Monday, June 3, 2013       Edition: #4998

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ Saturday’s “Sound of Change Live” fundraising concert in London, organized by the Gucci-founded charity Chime For Change, Salma Hayek-Pinault, and Beyoncé, raised £2.8 million ($4.25 million) to help fund 120 projects supporting women and girls in more than 70 countries. Beyoncé was joined onstage by Jay-Z for a duet during her 45-minute set. Also performing: Ellie Goulding, Florence + The Machine,  Jennifer Lopez, and Rita Ora among others. Interestingly, ticket buyers got to choose which project their ticket benefits.
– Telegraph.co.uk
✳ Actor Ethan Hawke has steamed up the screen with a string of beautiful actresses but he
tells “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) that the best onscreen kiss he ever had was with … Angelina Jolie. Quote: “Angelina Jolie was born to whittle men, to make them weak. And when she kisses you, you don’t know your name.” The twosome locked lips in the otherwise forgettable 2004 thriller “Taking Lives”.
– WENN.com
✳ Rihanna has been named in a bizarre new lawsuit filed by a woman who claims the singer’s lipstick gave her … oral herpes. Starkeema Greenidge says she caught the coldsore virus from a sample of MAC’s ‘RiRi Woo’ lipstick, given to her at a May 7th concert in Brooklyn NY where a sales assistant allegedly used the same lipstick tube that had been used for other patrons. Greenidge, a waitress, says she was unable to work for 2 weeks, which cost her a lot of money.
– “Jam! Showbiz”
✳ Could “After Earth” be the worst movie ever made? That’s what many are asking as the new Will Smith & Son (Jaden) sci-fi flick is being destroyed by critics. A small sampling …
> ‘Cheesy digital monsters. Slowest movie … ever seen.’ (“Wall Street Journal”)
> ‘Have alien body snatchers made off with (director) M Night Shyamalan?’ (“LA Times”)
> ‘Once upon a time, Hollywood parents gave their children sports cars as gifts. These days, apparently nothing less than a bigscreen vanity project will do for Junior.’ (“NY Times”)
– RadarOnline.com
✳ And online/TV gossip-monger TMZ is now offering scandal-based tours of NYC. The 2-hour bus ride to around 70 different locations costs $49 for adults/$39 for kids. Among the stops: The Plaza hotel, where Charlie Sheen trashed his room on a drug-fueled binge with a hooker; Marquee, the nightclub where Lindsay Lohan was arrested for punching a girl; St. Jerome’s, the dive bar where Lady Gaga got her start as a go-go dancer; and FAO Schwarz, the world famous toy store where pint-size Suri Cruise had a giant tantrum.
– NYDailyNews.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “ACM Awards (GAC) – Great American Country re-airs the 48th Academy of Country Music Awards, hosted by Blake Shelton & Luke Bryan at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Vegas.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Gord Downie (The Tragically Hip).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Reggie Watts (“Why S— So Crazy?”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Maximum Hedrum (“Maximum Hedrum”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tomahawk (“Oddfellows”).
• “Mistresses” (ABC/CTV) – Debut of new series based on a 2008-10 UK show about 4 female friends and their involvement in an array of illicit and complex relationships. Stars Alyssa Milano, Jes Macallan, Rochelle Aytes, Yunjin Kim.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Robert Randolph (“We Walk This Road”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Scotty McCreery (“See You Tonight”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 6 artists perform.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Blake Shelton – His “Healing In the Heartland Concert” in Oklahoma City last Wednesday raised more than $6 million to benefit those devastated by the recent tornado. Miranda Lambert, Reba McEntire, and Vince Gill also performed.
• Darius Rucker – His new album “True Believers” tops this week’s new ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart.
• Frank Ocean – He’s announced an international Summer tour that takes in Australia, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, France, Iceland, Ireland, Netherlands, Sweden, and the UK from June through August.
• John Mayer – He’s back in the studio recording his as-yet-untitled 6th album and releasing behind-the-scenes videos of the process each Tuesday. The first, “Studio Session No 1”, is already posted.
• Lou Reed – The 71-year-old founding member of the Velvet Underground is now recovering from liver transplant surgery at a clinic in Cleveland, Ohio. The lifesaving transplant was needed after he suffered chronic liver failure thanks to decades of drug and alcohol abuse.
• Rihanna – At age 25, she’s already scored her 6th million-selling album. According to Nielsen SoundScan, “Unapologetic” surpassed that benchmark last week. Her total album sales now stand at 9.8 million units.
• Rolling Stones – They’re making their Glastonbury debut, headlining the massive Brit festival’s famous Pyramid Stage June 27th. The BBC is airing over 120 performances and 250 hours of live broadcasts, but has been told it will not be able to broadcast any more than a sample of the Stones’ performance.
• Stevie Wonder – Tonight he receives the 2013 ‘Service to America Leadership Award’ from the National Association of Broadcasters’ Education Foundation (NABEF) for his dedication to helping people with disabilities and children & families in need.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington has performed live with the band again, replacing axed singer Scott Weiland. Bennington tells “Rolling Stone” he and STP will record and release new music on their own schedule as they don’t have a label.

HAPPIEST COUNTRIES IN WORLD 2013:
As ranked by the Organization for Economic Cooperation & Development’s ‘Better Life Index’, based on income, education, health, work-life balance and overall life satisfaction …
10. UK
9. Iceland
8. Netherlands
7. Denmark
6. USA
5. Switzerland
4. Norway
3. Canada
2. Sweden
1. Australia
Look up any country here …
NET: http://www.oecdbetterlifeindex.org
– 247WallSt.com

WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER?
A few facts that will put your sex life in perspective …
• The average couple reports having sex 66 times a year.
• Married adults under age 30 say they have sex an average of 109 times a year.
• The average number drops to 70 times per year for 40-somethings and 52 times a year for people in their 50s.
(We wonder … what’s the plus-or-minus exaggeration factor in this poll?)
– National Opinion Research Center

NYET CIGARETTE:
A new law banning smoking in some public places and restricting tobacco advertising came into effect on Saturday in Russia. An estimated 40% of Russians are smokers, one of the highest smoking rates in the world. Smoking is now banned in workplaces, housing-block stairwells, buses & commuter trains, and within 15 meters of train stations and airports. In 2014, the ban will be extended to restaurants, bars, ships, and trains. There will also be price increases; a packet of cigarettes can now be had for less than $1. (Where do smokers go at your workplace?)
– BBC News

WORLD’S TOP TIPPLE:
Chinese baijiu, a flammable, pungent white liquor averaging a 110-proof wallop, is the world’s most consumed form of liquor thanks to its popularity in China, but for the first time distillers are looking to develop export markets. According to data from International Wine & Spirit Research, Chinese people drank over 11 billion liters of baijiu in 2012; and the spirit, distilled from sorghum, wheat or rice, accounted for more than one-third of all spirits consumed in the world. But as a new generation of Chinese drinkers discovers the imported spirits that were not available to their parents, baijiu risks losing that market share unless it creates new markets overseas. (Think baiju & coke will become the next big thing?)
– Excerpted from “Globe & Mail”

OUTRAGEOUS FOODS AT MINOR LEAGUE BALLPARKS:
Actual wacky snacks being served up in baseball parks across North America …
✗ ‘Baco’ – A twist on the traditional taco with a shell made from … bacon.
✗ ‘Fifth Third Burger’ – A $20-burger, featuring 4 patties topped with chili, cheese, chips, salsa, lettuce, and sour cream, wedged into a giant sesame seed bun. 4lbs in all, with 4,889 calories.
✗ ‘Peanut Butter & Pepper Jelly Jalapeño Bacon Burger’ – The name says it all. TUMS, anyone?
✗ ‘Philly Cheesesteak Nachos’ – Crisp tortilla chips loaded with slow-cooked shredded chicken, Monterey Jack sauce, grilled green & red peppers, and onions.
✗ ‘Red & White Hots’ – A combo of a traditional hot dog and a ‘white hot’, which maintains its pale appearance as its made of uncured and unsmoked pork, beef, and veal mixed with spices.
✗ ‘Twinkie Dogs’ – Twinkies snack-cakes split down the middle, stuffed with a hot dog, and topped with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles with a cherry on top.
✗ ‘Wicked Wich’ – Your meat of choice topped with provolone cheese, homemade seasoned french fries, and coleslaw … all stuffed between fresh, thick-cut slices of bread.
(Peanuts and Cracker Jacks seem tame by comparison to any of these!)
– Condensed from “USA Today”

BS AMAZING FACT:
The French had no official word for French kissing … until now. It’s ‘galocher’ (gaw-law-shay).
– CBS News

BS CHRONOMETER 06.03.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [82] Raul Castro, Biran, Cuba, President of Cuba since 2008/younger brother of Fidel Castro

1966 [47] Jamie O’Neal (Murphy), Sydney, Australia, country singer (“Somebody’s Hero”, “There Is No Arizona”)

1967 [46] Anderson Cooper, NYC, TV talk show host (“Anderson Live” 2011-13)/TV news correspondent (“Anderson Cooper 360” since 2003, “60 Minutes” since 2007)

1986 [27] Rafael Nadal, Manacor, Spain, top-ranked pro tennis player (currently #4 in the world)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Leave the Office Early Day”, a day for pros to work harder, finish quicker, and get home early to spend more time with their families. (Then see if they get let back in the office tomorrow.)

• “Pull Your Pants Up Day”. Whatever your reason: Out-of-style hip-hop fan; quick weight-loss; plumber … just do it, okay? The world thanks you!

• “Repeat Day”, an annual opportunity to do things over again … just because you want to. It’s a good excuse to double-snack, repeat activities (!?!?!?) that are fun, etc.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [04] 72-year-old actor David Carradine (“Kung Fu”) dies in a Bangkok, Thailand hotel room, apparently the victim of … ahem … ‘accidental asphyxiation’ (he’s found the next day)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [11] Paul McCartney & Aretha Franklin perform at Queen Elizabeth II’s “Golden Jubilee”, celebrating the 50th year of her reign (Liz 2 will break Queen Victoria’s record rule of almost 64 years in September 2015)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [14] 1st ‘TV Commercial Targeted Directly at Cats” (Whiskas cat food debuts a 30-second ad that uses high-pitched sounds, zigzag lines, and a ball of yarn)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2001 [12] Mel Brooks’ Broadway musical comedy “The Producers” wins a record 12 Tony Awards

2007 [06] 1,680 guitarists simultaneously play Deep Purple’s “Smoke On the Water” in Kansas City MO (beats 1994 record of 1,323 playing BTO’s Takin’ Care of Business” in Vancouver BC)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] “America’s Got Talent” season debut (NBC/CityTV)
[Tues] International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression
[Wed] “CMT Music Awards” (CMT)
[Wed] Hot Air Balloon Day
[Wed] Running Day
[Wed] Tailors Day
[Wed] World Environment Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Business Etiquette Week / End Mountaintop Removal Week / Headache Awareness Week / Clothesline Week / Rip Current Awareness Week / Sun Safety Week / Tire Safety Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS THINGS YOU MIGHT BE BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING ABOUT YOUR BODY:
• The average human body comprises enough fat to make 7 bars of soap.
• A complete skeleton is worth up to $7,500 to a medical school.
• Your mouth produces about 1 quart of saliva per day.
• You have approximately 4,000 wax glands in each ear.
• The average male foot exudes a half-pint of sweat each day.
• Half the bulk of your feces is comprised of dead bodies of bacteria that live in your intestines.
• The average person pees about 11,000 gallons in a lifetime.
• A man weighing 200 lbs would provide enough meat to feed 100 cannibals in 1 sitting.
– First published in “BS” 2008.

June is “Adopt-a-Cat Month”, so here are a few …
BS REASONS TO GET A CAT:
• They don’t slobber like dogs.
• You don’t have to clothe them.
• They keep the carpet thick by leaving behind hairballs.
• Even the worst dinner looks delicious next to cat food.
• It’s a nice change to have someone ignore you besides your spouse.
– First published in “BS” 2002.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, but most of us have no idea what the heck happened.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You’ve just executed a successful ‘pittypat’. In what activity are you participating?
a. Playing marbles.
b. Skipping stones. [CORRECT. A pittypat is a short skip at the end of a ‘run’.]
c. Jumping bones.
– “Land O’ Useless Facts”

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Slow Times Café in Wiesbaden, Germany is now charging customers for the amount of time they spend in the coffee shop instead of for the items they order. Good idea or bad?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average cost of THIS is $410.
Answer: A wedding cake.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Well done is better than well said.

BS FRESH MEAT:
“BS” salutes Barry MacKinnon @ 98.9 X-FM [CJFX] Antigonish, Nova Scotia, who’s back with another full year subscription; and we welcome samplers this week that include Mike McGuire @ One FM [CJLD] Leduc, Alberta; Jason Ferguson @ FNX [WFNX] Boston, Massachusetts; Doug Threadgill @ Gold 97.7 [WKXM] Winfield, Alabama; Alberto @ HIMS Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic; and Patrick Shure @ B95.1 [WMGB] Macon, Georgia.


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