Wednesday, June 3, 2015       Edition: #5465

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

★ EL James, author of the ridiculously popular “Fifty Shades of Grey” series, is giving ‘Christian Grey’ a chance to share his side of the story. Her new book, entitled “Grey”, is a retelling of the first book in the trilogy, but through the title character’s eyes. In a statement accompanying the announcement, James says: “As anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows, there are two sides to every story.” The “Fifty Shades” series has grown into a massive franchise, selling 125 million copies worldwide. “Grey” will land on bookshelves on June 18th, ‘Christian’s birthday.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ 44-year-old movie star Melissa McCarthy wants to ’empower’ women with her new clothing collection, and hopes it will make them feel confident about their appearance at any size. She’s launching the plus-size apparel line ‘Melissa McCarthy Seven7’ in collaboration with Sunrise Brands. Quote: ”I’m trying to give women a closet that gives them some variety.” She says her favorite piece from the new collection is a cat-print sweater designed by one of her two young daughters. The “Bridesmaids” actress next stars in the comedy spoof film “Spy”, opening this Friday.
★ Marta Kauffman, co-creator of “Friends” (1994-2004), is being tapped to adapt the popular British medical series “Doc Martin” for the North American TV market. Kauffman will serve as executive producer for the dramedy, which has been running in the UK since 2004. The series follows a successful yet abrasive surgeon (Martin Clunes) who abruptly abandons his London practice and moves to a small seaside town to become a GP. The 2nd season of the Brit version is already airing on PBS-TV. There’s no word on when the new US version will premiere.
★ And ‘Archie’ & the gang are hanging up their speech bubbles and calling it a day with a final comic book issue today … sorta. One of the longest-running series since the dawn of the modern comic book in 1867, “Archie Comics” is ending on a slightly ominous issue number, ‘No. 666’. Today’s final release will reference longtime running gags and nods to the original “Archie” comics of the 1940s & ’50s. For avid collectors, there are 6 different covers. This, of course, is all in preparation for the upcoming total redesign of the series. The company has decided to start over from scratch with another ‘new’ series beginning with “Archie #1”.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Spoon (“They Want My Soul”).
• “Hot in Cleveland” (TV Land) – The 1-hour series finalé after 6 seasons, as Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli and company hang it up for good.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Twenty One Pilots (“Blurryface”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Twin Peaks (“Wild Onion”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Clean Bandit & Jess Glynne (“Real Love”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Barenaked Ladies (“Silverball”).

• The Beatles – The hashtag #BeatlesRecipes is trending on Twitter. The idea is to re-imagine Beatles’ lyrics as recipes. Some of our faves: “I Get Pie With a Little Help From My Friends”; “Let It Brie”; “She’s Got a Chicken to Fry”; and “When I Sauced Her Bland Eclair”.
• Charli XCX – She’s cancelled 5 upcoming shows due to, quote, ”things going on in my personal life that I need to deal with”. The 22-year-old pop star (real name Charlotte Aitchison) has given no specific indication why she won’t be appearing at the shows in Orlando and Fort Lauderdale FL, Indianapolis IN, Dover DE, and Norfolk VA scheduled for mid-August.
• Iggy Azalea – She’s now saying she cancelled her upcoming ‘Great Escape Tour’ due to a ‘creative change of heart’ (BS translation: She doesn’t wanna be booed). Meantime, the 24-year-old rapper is apparently engaged. Her LA Lakers boyfriend Nick Young popped the question during his 30th birthday party on Monday night.
• Imagine Dragons – Tonight in Portland OR they begin their 39-city “Smoke + Mirrors” tour of North America that runs through August 1st before heading overseas. Opening acts are Metric and Halsey.
• Korn – The nu metal band’s frontman Jonathan Davis is working on an unexpected collaboration with country duo Big & Rich. He’s hashtagged it #Bakersfieldsound, referring to the musical style of Bakersfield CA native Merle Haggard. Davis also hails from there.
• Lionel Richie – The 65-year-old has-been pop star tells “GQ” that when he began touring with The Commodores as a youngster, the group’s mission statement was to ‘make love to every girl in the world’. To that end, he claims he slept with as many as 3 per day. (How charming.)
• One Direction – Swedish electronic-pop duo Icona Pop (“I Love It”) will open for them on the North American leg of their “On the Road Again” world tour. The 17-city stadium tour starts July 9th in San Diego CA and continues until September 12th in Boston MA.
• Pharrell Williams – He’s picked up the ‘Fashion Icon Award’ this week at the Council Of Fashion Designers Of America Awards at the Lincoln Center in NYC. He was presented with the trophy by fellow fashion wannabe Kanye West. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen were named ‘Womenswear Designers Of the Year’ at the gala.
• St Vincent – She’s crediting a security guard with saving her life after she climbed a speaker stack then fell to the stage during a gig in Knoxville TN on Monday night. Fortunately, the 32-year-old escaped with only a minor cut to her wrist.

“Entourage” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Movie star ‘Vincent Chase’ – together with his posse ‘Eric’, ‘Turtle’, and ‘Johnny’ – are back in business with super agent-turned-studio head ‘Ari Gold’ on a risky project that will serve as ‘Vince’s directorial debut. Based on the 2004-11 TV series. Stars Adrian Grenier, Kevin Connolly, Jerry Ferrara, Kevin Dillon, Jeremy Piven. Celebrity cameos by Jessica Alba, Liam Neeson, Mark Wahlberg, Mike Tyson, Pharrell Williams, TI, billionaire Warren Buffett; NFL stars Clay Matthews, Rob Gronkowski, Russell Wilson, and Tom Brady.

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 68% of men have kept their baseball glove as a memento of their childhood.
• 66% of women say going to work without makeup would be more stressful than a job interview or a first date.
• 40% of females take a friend along when they’re getting a tattoo.
• 25% of men admit they have stolen lip balm from their partner.
• 20% of parents privately regret what they named their kids.
• 10% of women blow-dry their hair before jumping on the scales, to feel like they weigh less.

Microsoft has announced that it will be launching ‘Windows 10’ on July 29th, and it’s already encouraging ‘Windows 7’ and ‘Windows 8.1’ users to ‘reserve’ their free upgrade with a notification on their task bar (that little flag in the bottom right corner). While the company has been highlighting all the shiny new features in the upcoming OS, it’s been a bit quieter when it comes to spelling out things you’ll lose by upgrading to Windows 10. Among them …
✗ Windows Media Center is no longer a part of the OS.
✗ Watching DVDs will require separate playback software, at least initially.
✗ The card game ‘Hearts’ is gone.
✗ Desktop Gadgets (calendar, clock, etc) disappear, although many are already disabled.
✗ Windows 10 ‘Home’ users will not have the option of deferring updates; they’re automatic.
(What’s with the ‘registering’ idea? And how can we get rid of that annoying taskbar flag?)

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Book Desert’ – An area that has few or no bookstores, libraries, or other sources of books.
• ‘Glow-Cone’ – The cone of light that shines from a single source of illumination, such as an electronic device screen or reading light.
• ‘Momager’ [mom + manager] – A mother who manages the career of one or more of her children; alternatively it can be a manager who performs the duties of a mother.
• ‘Shadow Impact’ – The effect that a shadow cast by a tall building has on the surrounding area.

✓ If you bake too many cookies and don’t want them to dry out within a few days, place them in a plastic container and add a wedge of apple. The cookies draw in its moisture and last longer.
✓ To prevent a pot from boiling over, put a wooden spoon across it. Wood doesn’t conduct heat so the hot water will stray away from the cold spoon.
✓ If pieces of broken eggshell get into the bowl, don’t fish them with your fingers. Use a bigger piece of the eggshell. It acts like a magnet, attracting the little pieces to it.
✓ Roll a lemon in your hands for a few seconds before you cut and squeeze it. The pressure will burst the tiny cells of the fruit, allowing you to get more juice out of it.
✓ Use a spoon to peel ginger instead of a knife. It actually works better as the skin is not that hard.
✓ If your kitchen stove is not working and you desperately crave bacon, you can still have it. Wrap the bacon in foil and cook it … by ironing.
✓ Grill fish on a bed made from lemon slices. It will give the fish a citrus flavor, kill the fishy smell, and help prevent pieces from falling through the grill.
✓ Putting your ice cream in a zip-lock bag will keep it nice and soft, ready for scooping. No more bending your spoons.
✓ You can make golden hard-boiled eggs by giving the eggs a thorough shake before boiling. The egg white will mix with the yolk, adding a golden-like color to the cooked egg.
– Adapted from

Guinness World Records has now verified that Caitlyn (formerly Bruce) Jenner set a new mark Monday by accumulating a million Twitter followers in just 4 hours, 3 minutes. The rush to connect to Jenner’s newly-relaunched Twitter account followed her unveiling of her new female persona, to be featured in the upcoming issue of “Vanity Fair” magazine. The feat beats the previous record held by Barack Obama, who broke the 1 million barrier in 5 hours.

Analysis shows that US police have been killing more than 2 people a day. 385 people have been shot and killed by American cops in the last 5 months.
– “Washington Post”


1931 [84]  Raúl Castro, Biran, Cuba, President of Cuba since 2008/younger brother of Fidel Castro

1946 [69] Penelope Wilton, Scarborough UK, TV actress (‘Isobel Crawley’ on “Downton Abbey” since 2010)/movie actress (“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” films)

1967 [48] Anderson Cooper, NYC, TV news correspondent (“Anderson Cooper 360” since 2003, “60 Minutes” since 2007)

1986 [29] Rafael Nadal, Manacor, Spain, #7-ranked men’s pro tennis player (formerly #1)

• “Repeat Day”, an annual opportunity to do things over again … just because you want to. It’s a good excuse to double-snack and give other activities that are fun a re-do. By the way, it’s “Repeat Day”.

• “Running Day”, held annually on the 1st Wednesday in June, a day when runners everywhere declare their passion for running.

• “Tailors Day”, celebrated annually on the 1st Wednesday in June to recognize clothiers committed to fitting, pinning, and altering clothing so that those interested in sartorial strutting can display themselves in style. Tailors were once known as ‘snips’; male tailors were also known as ‘seamsters’. (As opposed to ‘seamstress’.)

2009 [06] 72-year-old actor David Carradine (“Kung Fu”) dies in a Bangkok, Thailand hotel room, the victim of … ahem … ‘accidental autoerotic asphyxiation’ (he’s found the next day)

2002 [13] Paul McCartney and Aretha Franklin perform at Queen Elizabeth II’s “Golden Jubilee”, celebrating the 50th year of her reign

2008 [07] Barack Obama becomes the 1st African-American to head a major party ticket for the US presidency by securing enough delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination over rival Hillary Clinton

2001 [14] Mel Brooks’ Broadway musical comedy “The Producers” wins a record 12 Tony Awards

[Thurs] X Games begin (Austin TX)
[Fri] Governors Ball festival begins (NYC)
[Fri] Doughnut Day
[Sat] CatConLA begins (LA CA)
[Sun] Cancer Survivors Day
This Week Is … Rip Current Awareness Week
This Month Is … Country Cooking Month


• “What does the rest of the class think?”
• “I suppose it’s possible.”
• “I see where you’re coming from.”
• “Anybody else?”
• “I’m not sure that’s the way I would put it.”
• “I’d be careful with that.”
• “I like your creativity.”
• “Explain.”
• “What makes you say that?”
• “Well …”
– Thanks to Eric Nebbia

Your contestant has 5 seconds to name a 5-letter thing that fits in each of the 5 categories …
✓ Planets [Earth or Venus]
✓ Oscar-winning ‘Best Pictures’ [“Crash”, “Rocky”, “Marty”, or “Wings”]
✓ Months of the Year [March or April]
✓ Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs [‘Happy’ or ‘Dopey’]
✓ “Brady Bunch” children [‘Bobby’, ‘Cindy’, or ‘Peter’]

Hairy? He was hairier than ‘Chewbacca’ dipped in Rogaine.

HE: “Haven’t we met before?”
SHE: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the STD clinic.”
HE: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
SHE: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
HE: “So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?”
SHE: “Unfertilized.”
HE: “So what do you do for a living?”
SHE: “Female impersonator.”

☎ What’s the strangest appliance you own?

Question: The average person does THIS 6 times a year.
Answer: Looks up an ex online.

Do not stand in a place of danger trusting in miracles.

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