Tuesday, June 4, 2013        Edition: #4999

You Really Know Your Sheet!

✳ Residents in Justin Bieber’s gated community in Calabasas, California are said to be protesting his ‘unneighborly antics’ by not paying monthly maintenance fees. Word has it as many as 500 residents are withholding the $1,000-fee they pay to cover monthly upkeep until the homeowners’ association issues Bieber a warning. Their list of grievances: Late night parties, guests parking on the street overnight, and those oft-reported incidents of him dangerously speeding in his Ferrari. (You’re his PR guy. What are your top 3 tips for him to turn things around?)
– TMZ.com
✳ Michael Douglas’ rep is backpedaling away from the actor’s recent bizarre comments, denying he made a specific link between cancer and oral sex. Quote: “He did not say this was the cause of his cancer. In a discussion of oral cancer, he said this is one of the suspected causes. He never made it personal.” In an interview with a Brit paper, Douglas is also quoted as saying, “If you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.” Several experts have reacted to that by saying that, medically, it just doesn’t make sense. (All of this is likely guerilla PR for Douglas’ HBO movie “Behind the Candelabra”, coincidentally re-running again tonight.)
– “The Guardian”
✳ The first batch of reviews are in on Brad Pitt’s new movie “World War Z”, which premiered in London Sunday night before opening wide in Europe and North America on June 21st. A sampling …
> “Should the last letter be said ‘zee’ to sound like ‘three’, or ‘zed’ to sound like ‘dead’, or ‘ZZZzzz’, to sound like the audience?” (“The Telegraph”)
> “It’s slap-bang in the middle of the quality spectrum, round about the level of “Godzilla” and not quite as classy as “The Day After Tomorrow”. (“The Daily Mail”)
> “It contains spectacular crowd scenes that have a Hieronymus Bosch quality, but the film lacks strong meat – of the emotional and bloody zombie-cannibal sort.” (“Times of London”)
(Suggested new ad for this film: “World War Z …. not as bad as After Earth.”)
– ContactMusic.com
✳ And 63-year-old Gene Simmons tells a Swedish TV interviewer he can see KISS retiring … eventually. Speaking ahead of the opening gig of the geezer rock band’s current European tour, he suggested that KISS, which has been performing since 1973, only has another 5-to-10 years left at most. Quote: “You don’t wanna stay one day longer than when it’s great; you wanna be great until the end.” (Uh dude, best to check your expiration date.)
– “Expressen”

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – In the 8th season debut, hopefuls audition for the judges in LA, NYC, and San Antonio TX. Heidi Klum and former Spice Girl Mel B have joined Howard Stern and Howie Mandel on the judging panel.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Divine Fits (“A Thing Called Divine Fits”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Lady Antebellum (“Golden”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Grimes (“Visions”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Savages (“Silence Yourself”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Local Natives (“Hummingbird”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Barenaked Ladies (“Grinning Streak”, out today).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – More hopefuls perform for the judges.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – LeAnn Rimes (“Spitfire”, out June 11th).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – 3rd-season winner Cassadee Pope performs; the artists face elimination.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Trisha Yearwood (“Trisha’s Southern Kitchen”).

• Billy Idol – He’s in the midst of both a new album and an autobiography. He tells “Billboard” he plans to finish the album in the Fall after his Summer tour, and his book of recollections is being edited now. Quote: “It’s almost a massive joke ‘cause I don’t remember anything.”
• Bruno Mars – He’s remained silent following the unexpected death of his mother, Bernadette Hernandez, in Honolulu, Hawaii on Saturday due to a sudden brain aneurysm. The Grammy-winning singer has often commented on the influence of his mother on his career.
• Flo Rida – His lawyer claims he doesn’t have to pay over $400,000 for failing to appear at the “Fat As Butter” festival in New South Wales in 2011 because he is a US citizen and Australian courts have no jurisdiction over him. A Facebook statement from the festival describes the rapper as an ‘absolute tonk’. (We’re thinking that’s not a good thing.)
• Iron Maiden – 54-year-old Bruce Dickinson is close to getting his airline off the ground. His investment in Cardiff Aviation follows his 20-year sideline as a charter pilot, in which time he’s clocked over 7,000 hours of flying. Not that he needs the money … he’s worth over $100 million.
• Kree Harrison – Tonight the 23-year-old “American Idol” runner-up plays the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville TN. She received her invitation via a surprise call from “Idol” judge Keith Urban.
• LeAnn Rimes – She’s pitching a new sitcom based on her marriage to Eddie Cibrian. She tells People.com: “We’ll take things out of our lives and elaborate them and make them funny. People have been laughing at us … we want them to laugh with us!” (Naw … it’s more ‘at’.)
• Portugal. The Man – Today the indie rockers release their new album “Evil Friends”.
• Queens Of the Stone Age – Their new album, “… Like Clockwork”, is out today.

• “Escape from Planet Earth” ( PG Animated Adventure ): Astronaut ‘Scorch Supernova’ finds himself caught in a trap when he responds to an SOS from a notoriously dangerous alien planet. Voice cast includes Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jessica Alba, Ricky Gervais, Sofía Vergara.
• “A Good Day to Die Hard” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): In this 5th entry in the popular 25-year-old franchise, ‘John McClane’ (Bruce Willis) travels to Russia to help out his son, who turns out to be a CIA operative working to prevent a nuclear-weapons heist. Co-stars Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch, Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Shot in Budapest, Hungary.
• “Identity Thief” ( R-Rated Crime Comedy ): Jason Bateman (“Horrible Bosses”) & Melissa McCarthy (“Bridesmaids”) star in this story of a mild-mannered businessman who confronts the deceptively harmless-looking woman who has been living it up after stealing his identity. Co-stars John Cho, Amanda Peet.
• “Warm Bodies” ( PG-13 Horror Comedy ): In this latest ‘undead date movie’ (a new genre), a highly unusual zombie saves a young woman from an attack. When the two form a relationship, it sets in motion a sequence of events that might transform the entire lifeless world. Stars Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich. Shot in Montréal, Québec.
• Also released today: “Breaking Bad: The 5th Season” (TV); “Brooklyn Castle” (Documentary); “Clint Eastwood: 40 Film Collection” (Compilation); “Curious George: The Complete 6th Season (Family Animation); “Falling Skies: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Four Film Favorites: John Wayne” (Compilation); “Ice Road Truckers: Season 6” (Reality TV); “The Last Ride: A Story of Hank Williams” (Music Documentary); “Major Crimes: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Mountain Men: Season 1” (Reality TV); “Pretty Little Liars: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Rawhide: The 6th Season” (Vintage TV); “Ring of Fire” (2013) (Biography); and WC Fields Comedy Favorites Collection (Compilation).

It may be time for the “Men Are From Mars/Women Are From Venus” theories about the sexes to come back to Earth, a new study shows. From empathy and sexuality to science inclination and extroversion, statistical analysis of 122 different characteristics involving 13,301 individuals finds that men and women by-and-large are … exactly the same. (Well, except for detecting if a couple is ‘cute together’.)
– “Journal of Personality & Social Psychology”

When we look backward on experiences, we estimate the passage of time in terms of the number of new memories we have made. That’s why an activity-filled vacation feels longer in hindsight than an idle one. So how to put that fact to work?
• Don’t keep going to the same place for a picnic or those memories will merge into one.
• Choose different places for weekend getaways; and new people to experience them with.
• Explore vacation destinations you’ve never been to before. Research them well in advance.
• Try new activities that you’ve never considered before.
• Even driving a different route will make the time spent feel longer.
– Adapted from “Wall Street Journal”

Imagine choosing not just the quickest path to your destination but the one most likely to make you happy. A new device designed by IBM researchers may do just that by putting together GPS route-planning technology with others that gauge mood, ie: software that mines social-media streams for users’ emotions and locations. The resulting ‘Emotionally Intelligent Navigation System’ would allow you to select a route or destination where people are happiest now or have been over the past week. If a specific area regularly cheers visitors up, the system would classify it as mood-enhancing. Emoticons would serve as guides. (Hey look at all the happy faces on Porky’s Bar & BBQ!)
– “Scientific American”

Sex really improves your life. According to new research from Rutgers University, frequent sex is linked with increased optimism, energy, focus, and creativity. So even when you’re not rolling around in the sack, you could feel more positive and have a happier relationship. Plus, all that focus and motivation could help you perform better at work. (Well thanks for the in-depth study but we already knew about the ‘why’ … we’re more concerned with the ‘who’ and the ‘when’!)
– “Self Magazine”

The time of the day you eat can either help or hurt your diet. A recent study shows that eating earlier in the day is better for weight-loss. Of people enrolled in a weight-loss program, those who ate lunch later in the day – after 3 pm – lost 25% less weight than those who ate earlier in the day. The 2 groups performed the same amount of exercise and had the same amount of sleep. Researchers don’t yet know how meal timing really affects weight-loss, just that it does. (Well let’s see, if you inhale an entire pizza at noon, then nap on the couch …)
– MyHealthNewsDaily.com

✓ People typically wear one-half to one-third as much sunscreen as they need.
✓ A person’s risk of melanoma doubles if they have had more than 5 sunburns.


1974 [39] Stefan Lessard, Anaheim CA, alt-rock bassist (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “The Space Between”)

1975 [38] Russell Brand, Grays UK, movie actor (“Rock of Ages”, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”)/comedian (“Live in New York City”)/wed to pop singer Katy Perry 2010-12  COMING UP: “Despicable Me 2”, opening July 3rd.

1975 [38] Angelina Jolie (Voight), LA CA, movie actress (“Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”, Oscar-“Girl, Interrupted”)/movie director (“In the Land of Blood & Honey”)/actor Brad Pitt’s partner since 2005  UP NEXT: “Maleficent” (2014).

1976 [37] Kasey Chambers, Mount Gambier, South Australia, country singer-songwriter (“True Colours”, “Not Pretty Enough”)

1981 [32] TJ Miller, Denver CO, comedian/TV actor (‘Jimmy Goodwin’ on “The Goodwin Games” 2013)/movie actor (“Rock of Ages”, “Gulliver’s Travels”)  COMING UP: “Transformers 4” (2014).

1985 [28] Bar Refaeli, Hod HaSharon, Israel, fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”)/#1 on “Maxim” magazine’s ‘Hot 100’ list of 2012/Leo Di Caprio cast-off

• “Cheese Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of the creation of the first Roquefort cheese, made from ewes’ milk and ripened in a cave near Roquefort, France in the year 1070. It’s the perfect excuse to indulge yourself with a slice of your favorite. (3-year-old Comté, please!)

• “Hug Your Cat Day”, a day to realize that felines need affection even though they act like they don’t want it.

• “International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression”, a UN observance established in 1982. There are approximately 50 million uprooted refugees around-the-world who have sought safety in another country. Around half of them are children.

2003 [10] Amazon.com announces it’s received more than 1 million pre-orders for the book “Harry Potter & The Order Of the Phoenix”, which won’t be released for another 2 weeks

2012 [01] Queen Elizabeth II’s “Diamond Jubilee Concert” is held outside Buckingham Palace in London (performers include Annie Lennox, Ed Sheeran, Elton John, Jessie J, Kylie Minogue, Paul McCartney, Robbie Williams, Tom Jones)

1988 [25] World record for ‘Hacky Sack’ (foot bag) is set at 48,825 consecutive kicks

[Wed] “CMT Music Awards” (CMT)
[Wed] Hot Air Balloon Day
[Wed] Running Day
[Wed] Tailors Day
[Wed] World Environment Day
[Thurs] CMA Music Festival begins (Nashville)
[Fri] “The Internship”; “The Purge” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Business Etiquette Week
This Month Is … Audio Book Appreciation Month


✓ Infield chatter must be in the form of a question, like on “Jeopardy!”. (“What is ‘Swing, batta, batta, batta’?”)
✓ Goodbye Gatorade, hello Johnny Walker Blue!
✓ Clothing-optional dugouts.
✓ Knock out a beer vendor with ball and you automatically win the game.
✓ Extra outs for every person on your team named ‘Chip’, ‘Peewee’, ‘Scooter’, ‘Sparky’ or any nickname that begins with ‘Big …’.
✓ Games do not start until players’ drugs have kicked in.
✓ If the catcher snags your pop foul, he gets to make out with your wife in the stands.
✓ Reach a base. Do a shot.
✓ No more keeping your eye on the ball.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

Some of the following are true, some are total BS. Which are which?
• We use only 10% of our brains. [BS]
• Duck a l’Orange is not from France, but Renaissance Italy. [TRUE. “Today”]
• Reading in dim light ruins your eyesight. [BS]
• Dung beetles prefer horse and dog feces to camel and fox. [TRUE. “Daily Mirror”]
• The Olympic flag dates back to the original Olympic Games played in Greece. [BS. The official Olympic flag was introduced at the 1920 games in Belgium.]
• Some Amish people have phones in trees near their houses to get around the ban on them at home. [TRUE. “Times of London”]
• A penguin’s brain is 3 times larger than a human’s. [BS. Would we pick Antarctica for a home?]
• Parents spend 4 times as much time with their children now as in the 1970s. [TRUE. “Times of London”]
• The world’s smartest pig, owned by a math teacher in Aberdeen, Scotland, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12-times. [BS]
• The name of the dog on the Cracker Jack box is ‘Spot’. [BS. ‘Bingo’ is his name-o.]

Question: You are more than twice as likely to die a premature death if you do THIS.
Answer: Become a rock star.

If you get up one time more than you fall, you will make it through.

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