Wednesday, June 4, 2014        Edition: #5233

You Really Know Your Sheet!

★ You know the paparazzi have gone too far when Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, has to hire a ‘minder’ to make sure her privacy isn’t invaded. That’s reportedly happened this week after that infamous photo of her bare bottom was recently posted online by a German magazine. The pic was taken when prop wash from a helicopter caused her dress to fly up. But wait, isn’t there some kind of law against that? Apparently not, but to their credit, UK magazines all refused to publish the photo. From now on, a female bodyguard will accompany Kate to prevent any more embarrassing pics.
– “Daily Mirror”
★ For those wishing there were more women in the new “Star Wars” movie, director JJ Abrams has provided. He’s added to his cast by hiring Oscar-winner Lupita Nyong’o (“12 Years a Slave”) and 6-foot-3 Brit actress Gwendoline Christie, who plays ‘Brienne of Tarth’ on HBO’s “Game of Thrones”. As of yet there’s still no word on which characters Nyong’o and Christie will be playing. The as-yet-untitled Episode VII of the “Star Wars” series is slated for release December 18, 2015.
★ A one-night stand is usually nothing to brag about, but what if the person you slept with is famous? Andy Cohen, host of Bravo TV’s “Watch What Happens Live”, is developing a new unscripted series with the title … “I Slept With a Celebrity”. Each weekly episode will feature 2 guests dishing about how their walk with fame led to a walk of shame, describing where they met, where they went, and what they wore … or didn’t. It’s currently being shopped to both broadcast and cable networks.

• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Austin Mahone (“The Secret”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Bob Mould (“Beauty & Ruin”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Sara Bareilles(“The Blessed Unrest”).
• “Great Performances” (PBS) – Sting performs highlights from his stage musical about the demise of the ship-building industry, “The Last Ship”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Iggy Azalea (“The New Classic”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Off! (“First Four EPs”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Demi Lovato (“Demi”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – The Afghan Whigs (“Do To the Beast”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – Auditions continue in Chicago and LA.
• “Stanley Cup Final” (CBC/NBC) – Game 1 (NY Rangers @ LA Kings) from Staples Center in Los Angeles.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Chrissie Hynde (“Stockholm”).

• Bruce Springsteen – Unbeknownst to many, he wrote “Blinded By the Light”, the 1976 #1 hit by Manfred Mann’s Earth Band.
• Iggy Azalea – The 23-year-old Australian rapper, whose real name is Amethyst Amelia Kelly, rose to fame with YouTube hits “Pu$$y” and “Two Times”.
• Kanye West – Now that she’s back from her honeymoon in Ireland and Prague, Kim Kardashian has taken her new husband’s last name, tacking it on to the end of hers to become ‘Kim Kardashian West’. She revealed the change on social media, of course.
• Miley Cyrus – LAPD has recovered her stolen 2014 Maserati Quattroporte in Simi Valley CA and have dusted it for fingerprints. Burglars made off with the sports car and a haul of jewelry from Miley’s house over the weekend. She’s currently on tour in Europe.
• Selena Gomez – Her grandfather, Ricardo Gomez, tells “OK! Magazine” her family became upset by her former boyfriend Justin Bieber’s behavior. He says Selena herself said she didn’t want to be with him any longer because ‘he was getting into drugs’.
• Taylor Swift – Tonight her “Red Tour” plays Mata Elang International Stadium in Jakarta, Indonesia.
• Whitney Houston – Her 1985 hit “How Will I Know” was originally supposed to be for Janet Jackson.

Disney has never been one to rest on its laurels. There’s always a new film, theme park ride, or animated princess popping up. Here are a few of the newest innovations at Florida’s Walt Disney World …
• ‘The Festival of Fantasy Parade’ – This daily event brings together 100 performers representing various Disney movies, including characters from the latest animated hit, “Frozen”.
• ‘Glow With the Show Hats’ – These mouse-ear hats make you part of productions by complementing the imagery, music, and beats of the various musical shows. When the music swells, the hats glow right along, in perfect time.
• ‘The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train’ – This just-opened new ride in Fantasyland at the Magic Kingdom Park is a family-style roller coaster in which the cars swing back and forth. Along the way you see dwarfs mining glowing diamonds that are embedded in the walls.
• ‘MagicBands’ – These colorful new wristbands incorporate microchips that are linked to your hotel registration and credit card. They allow you to enter Disney World, buy food & merchandise, and go on rides. Want to open your hotel room door? Just wave your wrist.
– Condensed from

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 60% of women say they will NOT wear a swimsuit in public.
• 50% of us think we can swim ‘competently’.
• 33% of skin cream designed to reduce stretch marks is purchased by men.
• 25% of us admit to changing clothes while driving, in order to save time.
• 17% of young people under age 20 have NEVER ridden a bicycle.
• 0.5% of homes have Christmas lights up all year long.

Money and power are all well and good but if you really want to live a successful life, get more sleep and turn the phone off. That’s the message from Arianna Huffington, founder of the online “Huffington Post” and one of the world’s most prominent and wired-in businesswomen, to an audience at the annual Hay Festival of Literature & Arts in Wales. Many in today’s hectic working world wear their busy-ness like a badge of honor, she says. Furthermore, too many of us are glued to mobile devices in a bid to get ahead in an increasingly interconnected world. Huffington claims people who are weary make mistakes and their creativity is blunted. (Hear hear, lady!)

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Clicktivism’ [click+activism] – Activism that consists solely of performing quick and simple online tasks. (Wow, the commitment it takes to mouse-click an online petition … how to sacrifice! You must be exhausted.)
• ‘Listicle’ [list+article] – An article or news story that consists primarily of a thematic list of short items. (Examples from BuzzFeed: “29 Songs From Musicals Guaranteed to Make You Cry”; “16 Beach Hacks That Will Save Your Summer”; and “7 Foods That Will Make You Poop”.)
• ‘Toe Lipo’ [aka ‘Loub Job’] – A procedure to remove a small bit of fat so your toes can fit better into pointy stilettos without pinching. (According to “Look” magazine, Kim Kardashian had ‘toe lipo’ before her wedding to Kanye West due to … ‘toebesity’.)

Scandinavian artist Mikael Genberg has spent 10 years working on the ‘Moonhouse Project’, an effort to place a traditional Swedish cottage on the Moon. He’s now turned to crowdfunding to make his dream a reality. If all goes according to plan, the little red house with white gables will be sent aloft on a spacecraft by aerospace company Astrobotic in October of next year. Measuring 3-by-2 meters (10-by-7 feet), the house will have a roof height of 2.5 meters (8 feet), allowing an adult to stand up inside. The project already has some private-sector funding but about $15 million is required in total to transport the cottage 384,000 km (239,000 mi) to its destination. Each $1 pledged will take it 25 meters closer. (And the point of all this would be?)

At age 91, Harriette Thompson of North Carolina has set a record for fastest marathon run in the 90-94 age group at the Rock n’ Roll San Diego Marathon. Her time: 7 hours, 7 minutes, 42 seconds. Not bad considering she’s battling cancer and just completed radiation on her legs before Sunday’s race. Thompson started running marathons when she was 76 and has run one every year since.
– “Runner’s World”

• The USA now consumes more wine in total than any other country. America is still way behind France in per capita consumption, however.
• Will California Chrome win Saturday’s Belmont Stakes and become the 1st Triple Crown winner since 1978? He’ll be favored to win; but if he loses, he’ll join 11 others who faltered in that final race.


1936 [78] Bruce Dern, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Nebraska”, “Django Unchained”)/father of actress Laura Dern

1974 [40] Stefan Lessard, Anaheim CA, alt-rock bassist (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “The Space Between”)

1975 [39] Russell Brand, Grays UK, movie actor (“Despicable Me 2”, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”)/comedian (“Live in New York City”)/wed to pop singer Katy Perry 2010-12

1975 [39] Angelina Jolie (Voight), LA CA, movie actress (“Maleficent”, Oscar-“Girl, Interrupted”)/movie director (“In the Land of Blood & Honey”)/actor Brad Pitt’s partner since 2005

1976 [38] Kasey Chambers, Mount Gambier, South Australia, country singer-songwriter (“True Colours”, “Not Pretty Enough”)

1981 [33] TJ Miller, Denver CO, comedian/TV actor (‘Erlich’ on “Silicon Valley” 2014)/movie actor (“How to Train Your Dragon 2”, “Rock of Ages”)  COMING UP: “Transformers: Age of Extinction”, opening June 27th.

1985 [29] Bar Refaeli, Hod HaSharon, Israel, fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”)/TV host (“X Factor Israel”)/#1 on “Maxim” magazine’s ‘Hot 100’ list 2012/Leo Di Caprio cast-off

• “Cheese Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of the creation of the first Roquefort cheese, made from ewes’ milk and ripened in a cave near Roquefort, France in the year 1070. It’s the perfect excuse to indulge yourself with a slice of your favorite. (3-year-old Comté, please!)

• “Hug Your Cat Day”, a day to realize that felines need affection even though they act like they don’t want it.

• “International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression”, a UN observance established in 1982. There are approximately 50 million uprooted refugees around-the-world who have sought safety in another country. Around half of them are children.

• “Leave the Office Early Day”, a annual event of the first Wednesday of June for pros to work harder, finish quicker, and get home early to spend more time with their families. (Then see if they let you back in the office tomorrow.)

• “Tailors Day”, a day to recognize clothiers committed to fitting, pinning, and altering clothing so that those interested in sartorial strutting can display themselves in style. Tailors were once known as ‘snips’; male tailors were also known as ‘seamsters’. (As opposed to ‘seamstress’.)

2004 [10] “Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban” opens in movie theaters (goes on to earn almost $800 million worldwide)

2012 [02] Queen Elizabeth II’s “Diamond Jubilee Concert” (60th anniversary on the throne) is held outside Buckingham Palace in London (performers include Annie Lennox, Ed Sheeran, Elton John, Jessie J, Kylie Minogue, Paul McCartney, Robbie Williams, Tom Jones)

1988 [26] World record for ‘Hacky Sack’ (foot bag) is set at 48,825 consecutive kicks

[Thurs] 2014 CMA Music Festival begins (Nashville TN)
[Thurs] Running Day
[Fri] “Edge of Tomorrow”; “The Fault in Our Stars”; “Obvious Child” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Orange Is the New Black” Season 2 released (Netflix)
[Fri] Governors Ball Music Festival begins (NYC)
[Sat] George Strait’s final concert (Arlington TX)
[Sat] Belmont Stakes (NYC)
[Sun] Tony Awards (CBS)
This Week Is … Business Etiquette Week
This Month Is … Audio Book Appreciation Month


• ‘Backache’ – Used to mean something you got after working out or lifting something heavy. Now it means something you wake up with every freaking day.
• ‘Being Single’ – Used to mean being the fun one who could flirt up at a storm at the bar. Now it means being the only one not posting photos of your toddler on Facebook.
• ‘Classic Rock’ – Used to mean The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and CCR. Now it means music you listened to in high school.
• ‘Dark Circles’ – Used to mean something you’d wake up with under your eyes if you didn’t get enough sleep. Now it means something you wake up with.
• ‘Getting Up Early” – Used to mean waking up at 9 to ‘pregame’ before the football game. Now it means waking up at 6 to get to the farmers market early. (The good tomatoes go SO fast.)
• ‘Hotel’ – Used to mean a hostel or the Super 8. Now it means anywhere with a decent bed and points you can get on your credit card.
• ‘Late’ – Used to mean 3-4 am. Now it means anytime past 11 pm.
• ‘Metabolism’ – Used to mean a blessing that lets you eat and drink whatever you want. Now it means a sluggish curse that sends every slice of pizza directly to your thighs.
• ‘Passed Out’ – Used to mean an alcohol-induced coma. Now it means crashing on your bed from exhaustion while still wearing your work clothes.
• ‘Sunscreen’ – Used to mean SPF 8 you slathered on your nose before hitting the beach. Now it means marinating your entire body in SPF 60.
– Adapted from

☎ What’s the most interesting (or worst) Summer job you ever had?

There are none of which in Antarctica, Greenland, and Iceland?
a. Ants. [CORRECT]
b. Beaches.
c. Celebrities.

Don’t you wish your life was as interesting as you let on it is on Facebook?

Question: The time the average adult spends doing THIS has gone up 400% since the 1980s.
Answer: Being stuck in traffic.

If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.

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