Friday, June 5, 2015               Edition #5467

Deja Moo!

★ Sherwood Schwartz, creator of “The Brady Bunch” TV series (1969-74) and movies, is working on a musical adaptation of his family sitcom for the stage. Sherwood is teaming up with CBS Consumer Products for the project, which will feature a new story but focus on the original characters. CBS Consumer Products has also announced plans to turn another classic sitcom, “Cheers”, into a stage production. “Cheers Live on Stage” will showcase classic moments from the popular 1982-93 sitcom which starred Ted Danson as a Boston MA bar owner.
★ Did ‘Stewie’ know all along? While Caitlyn Jenner has only recently introduced herself to the world as a woman on the cover of “Vanity Fair”, an old “Family Guy” clip from 2009 has emerged online that shows ‘Stewie’ talking to the dog ‘Brian’, wondering how Jenner could have given birth to a “d— bag” like son Brody Jenner. “Bruce Jenner is a man,” Brian says. “No, Brian. That’s what the press would have you believe, but he’s not,” Stewie says. “Bruce Jenner is a woman. An elegant, beautiful Dutch woman.”
– PostMedia Network
★ And Caitlyn Jenner is a hotter commodity than Bruce Jenner ever was, especially on the speaking circuit. Sources in the biz claim that Caitlyn is worth 5 times what Bruce commanded. Bruce used to get $25,000 a pop for motivational speaking and they say Caitlyn has the potential to pull in well over $100,000. There’s a big reason Caitlyn is a hotter commodity – social media. Bruce hated social media, but Caitlyn is fully onboard and breaking records. Another obvious reason for the big buck bump … Caitlyn has quite the story to tell.

• Bunbury Festival (Cincinnati OH) – The banks of the Ohio River are flooded with craft beer, indie rock, and 6 stages during this 3-day event. On tap: Avett Bros, Black Keys, Decemberists, Snoop Dogg, Tame Impala.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Florence + The Machine (“How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful”) perform live.
• Governors Ball (NYC) – The 3-day music fest returns to Randall’s Island for a 5th year with Black Keys, Drake, Florence + The Machine, Lana Del Rey, Royal Blood, St Vincent and more.
• “Great Performances” (PBS) – Saturday night classic rocker Bryan Adams performs his hits and audience favorites in Toronto ON.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Maroon 5 (“V”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Chew Toys (“Chew Toys”); Hundred Waters (“The Moon Rang Like a Bell”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Elle King (“Love Stuff”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Ricky Martin (“A Quien Quiera Escuchar”).
• “Power” (Starz) – Saturday the Season 2 debut of the drama starring and executive produced by 50 Cent. Omari Hardwick plays a nightclub owner who lives a double life as a drug lord.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Charlie XCX (“Sucker”) is scheduled to perform live.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Jason Derulo (“Everything Is 4”).
• “Tony Awards” (CBS) – Sunday Alan Cumming & Kristin Chenoweth host the 69th annual Broadway theater awards live from NYC’s Radio City Music Hall. Leading contenders: “An American in Paris” and “Fun Home” with 12 nominations apiece; followed by “Something Rotten!” with 10.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) talks about the new bio-film about his life and career, “Love & Mercy”.

• Ariana Grande – This week the 21-year-old has been spotted leaving One Direction star Niall Horan’s house in London two nights-in-a-row, once at 3 am. Rumor, rumor!
• A$AP Rocky – Even though it was released a week earlier than expected, his new album “At. Long. Last. A$AP” has debuted at #1 on the new ‘Billboard 200’ chart, giving him the 2nd #1 debut of his career.
• Dierks Bentley – Tonight he’s launching his 40-city “Sounds of Summer Tour” in Raleigh NC. Kip Moore is the special guest. His new digital platform ‘Sounding Off’ offers fans an inside look at the tour through a series of exclusive videos online.
• Garth Brooks – He’s been forced to cancel his weekend concerts in Tampa FL’s Amalie Arena to make way for the NHL Stanley Cup Final between Tampa Bay Lightning & Chicago Blackhawks. Game 2 is being played on Saturday.
• Kip Moore – He’s announced plans for his “Comeback Kid Skatepark Project”, a charitable initiative that will oversee the construction of a series of skate parks to benefit communities and kids. The project will initially fund 5 parks in various municipalities.
• Mumford & Sons – Today & tomorrow the 1st of their “Gentlemen Of the Road” stopover festivals of Summer 2015 visits Seaside Heights NJ. These outdoor events in smaller towns are meant to be a celebration of local people, food, and music.
• One Direction – The 8-date European leg of their “On the Road Again 2015” stadium tour begins tonight with the first of 2 consecutive shows in Cardiff, Wales.
• Sam Smith – He can speak again! Following 3 weeks of doctor-ordered silence he’s being allowed to vocalize again this week. The 23-year-old underwent voice corrective surgery in May to repair his damaged vocal cords.
• Shania Twain – Her 1st North American tour in 11 years begins tonight in Seattle WA. She turns 50 in August but doesn’t seem ready to retire anytime soon, telling “Billboard”: “I’ve got a bunch of albums I want to make … and that could take a while.”
• Tedeschi Trucks Band – They’re kicking off their 30-city “Wheels of Soul Tour” beginning tonight in Paso Robles CA. Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings are special guests on the tour.
• Tim McGraw – Tonight he embarks on his “Shotgun Rider Tour ’15” in Little Rock AR. Also on the bill: Billy Currington and newcomer Chase Bryant. McGraw is bringing his show to a combo of amphitheaters, arenas, and festivals in support of his “Sundown Heaven Town” album.

• “Insidious: Chapter 3” ( PG-13 Horror ): This follow-up to “Insidious” (2010) and “Insidious: Chapter 2” (2013) is a prequel set before the haunting of the ‘Lambert’ family. Gifted psychic ‘Elise Rainier’ (Lin Shaye) agrees to use her ability to contact the dead in order to help a teenage girl targeted by a supernatural entity. Stars Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott.
• “Spy” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): Melissa McCarthy is back on the bigscreen, this time playing a desk-bound CIA analyst. When her partner (Jude Law) goes missing, she volunteers to go undercover to infiltrate the world of a deadly arms dealer and thereby prevent a global disaster. Co-stars Rose Byrne, Jason Statham.
• Opening in limited release: “Hungry Hearts” (Thriller); “Love & Mercy” (Bio-Drama); “Police Story: Lockdown” (Action Thriller); and “Testament of Youth” (War Drama).

A new study from Connecticut’s Quinnipiac University investigates the spread of fecal coliforms in communal bathrooms. Fecal coliforms are bacteria found in human feces, which can spread onto a toothbrush through the air via actions like flushing a toilet. Researchers have discovered that about 55% of toothbrushes tested positive for fecal bacteria, even if they had covers or had been regularly rinsed with mouthwash. What to do? Researchers urge students and others who share bathrooms to use safer storage methods for toothbrushes, always put the seat down when flushing, and replace toothbrushes every 3-to-4 months. (Ick! Can we afford a new brush every day?)
– Sourced from

Sure, women love a guy with a chiseled six-pack, but that’s not the only body part they check out. The following (in no particular order) are at the top of most women’s ‘what I notice’ list …
✓ Powerful Forearms
✓ Nice Butt
✓ Broad Back
✓ Sculpted Shoulders
✓ Rock-hard Calves
✓ Big Chest
✓ Large Biceps
(No mention at all of ‘Quick Thumbs’ for texting.)
– Condensed from “Men’s Health”

In Japan, an underground parking garage for bicycles can store, and then retrieve your bike in seconds for about $15 per month.


1971 [44] Mark Wahlberg, Dorchester MA, movie actor (“Ted”, “The Fighter”)/TV producer (“Boardwalk Empire”, “Entourage”)  COMING UP: “Ted 2”, opening June 26th.

1979 [36] Pete Wentz, Wilmette IL, rock bassist-singer (Fall Out Boy-“She’s My Winona”, “This Ain’t a Scene It’s an Arms Race”)

1980 [35] Mike Fisher, Peterborough ON, NHL hockey forward (Nashville Predators)/wed to country star Carrie Underwood since 2010

1981 [34] Sebastien Lefebvre, Montréal QC, rock guitarist (Simple Plan-“Summer Paradise”, “Welcome to My Life”)

Playwright-actor Harvey Fierstein (“Kinky Boots”) is 63; Movie actor Paul Giamatti (“San Andreas”) is 48; Rock guitarist James ‘Munky’ Shaffer (Korn) is 45; Country-rock singer Uncle Kracker (“Smile”) is 41; TV actress Aubrey Anderson-Emmons (“Modern Family”) is 8.

Movie actor Liam Neeson (“Taken”) is 63; Record producer LA Reid (“The X Factor”) is 59; Pop-rock singer Prince (“Purple Rain”) is 57; TV personality Bear Grylls (“Mission Survive”) is 41; Movie actor Michael Cera (“Juno”) is 27; Rapper Iggy Azalea (“Fancy”) is 25.

• “Hot Air Balloon Day”, commemorating the 1st hot air balloon flight, by the Montgolfier Brothers in Annonay, France in 1783.
• “Moonshine Day”, celebrating the history of ‘white lightning’, ‘mountain dew’, ‘hooch’, or ‘Tennessee white whiskey’, the high-proof distilled spirit generally produced illicitly.
• “UN World Environment Day”, declared annually since 1972. The 2015 theme is ‘7 Billion Dreams. 1 Planet. Consume With Care’.

• “Belmont Stakes”, the 147th running of the 3rd and final jewel in horseracing’s Triple Crown at NYC’s Belmont Park.
• “CatConLA” in Los Angeles CA, the 1st annual 2-day weekend conference celebrating groundbreaking products and ideas in art, design, pop culture, and attitude… for cat people. Part expo, part symposium, it’s like Comic-Con … only about cats.
• “Cheerleading Coaches Day”, observed on the 1st Saturday of June to salute all coaches and administrators who organize cheerleading squads for sports team motivation, audience entertainment, and competitions based on organized routines. Everybody now, give us a ‘C’!
• “Drive-in Movie Day”, commemorating the opening of the 1st ‘drive-in’ 82 years ago (1933) in Camden NJ. In a recent poll, 18% of people surveyed claim to have made love at a drive-in.
• “Family Recreation Day”, an annual observance on the 1st Saturday in June encouraging us to find different types of recreation that the family can participate in together.
• “Gardening Exercise Day”, a day to get out and workout with your plants. Don’t laugh … if you’ve ever helped a gardener for an afternoon, you know what hard work it is.
• “Trails Day”, observed annually on the 1st Saturday of June, to celebrate nature trails as a great way to experience the outdoors by hiking, biking, horseback riding, etc.
• “Yo-Yo Day”, observed on the birth anniversary of Donald Duncan (1892-1971), the businessman who 1st mass-marketed the wildly popular invention in the West during the 1930s.

• “Cancer Survivors Day”, the 28th annual celebration of life on the 1st Sunday in June. Famous cancer survivors Christina Applegate, Melissa Etheridge, Sharon Osbourne, and Sheryl Crow.
• “Chocolate Ice Cream Day”, honoring the popular – but not the most popular – flavor. Perhaps surprisingly, vanilla is still tops.

2005 [10] “Monty Python’s Spamalot” wins 3 Tony Awards, including ‘Best Musical’

2010 [05] The UN Environment Agency appoints actor Don Cheadle a ‘Goodwill Ambassador’ at a ceremony in Rwanda to mark “World Environment Day”

2004 [11] About 40 guests watch as Jennifer Lopez weds her 3rd husband, Marc Anthony, in an intimate ceremony in the backyard of her LA home (they separate in 2011, divorce 2012)

1993 [22] Julie Krone rides 13-to-1 longshot Colonial Affair to victory in the Belmont Stakes, to become the 1st female jockey ever to win a Triple Crown horse race

2003 [12] 37-year-old Indiana native Brad Hauter arrives in NYC after riding his Yard-Man lawnmower 5,600 miles across the USA from San Francisco CA … at 10 mph

[Mon] “Becoming Us” debuts (ABC Family)
[Mon] Upsy Daisy Day
[Mon] World Oceans Day
[Tues] World Pet Memorial Day
[Wed] CMT Music Awards (Nashville TN)
This Week Is … Headache Awareness Week
This Month Is … Accordion Awareness Month


✓ Tell hesitant campaign donors that you only expect 78% as much as they’d give a similarly qualified man.
✓ Try your best to be conventionally pretty. Not hot though; that’s distracting. Shoot for a solid 6-point-5.
✓ When an interviewer compliments your hair, give the credit to the wild beauty of menstruation.
✓ If you’re more conservative, make sure you don’t look too much like Tina Fey or a similarly empowered funny lady.
✓ Create a Pinterest board of ways you would redecorate your government office. Include framed inspirational quotes by Beyoncé.
✓ Remember: It’s really what’s on the inside that counts (your ovaries).
✓ Consider becoming PTA president instead. We’d really be more comfortable with that.
✓ If all else fails, take your ambitions to a place more historically accepting of females in government such as Cuba, Norway, Sweden, or any country in dystopian young adult fiction.
– Thanks to Jenna Barnett

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

☎ Picture yourself on a road trip. You’re driving along an unfamiliar highway, you’re hungry, and you’re ready to make a stop. What restaurant sign would you be most excited to see?

1-in-20 men admit they have tried (and failed) to cook which on the grill?
a. French Fries [CORRECT]
b. Onion Rings
c. Spaghetti

Question: Before deciding on which they prefer, women need to see 5 of THESE but men only need to see 2.
Answer: Selfies.

A lame crab walks straight.

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