Friday, June 7, 2013        Edition: #5002

Sheet Happens!

✳ Taylor Swift has become embroiled in a dispute with her new East Beach neighbors in Rhode Island over the tactics used by her security team. Swift recently snapped up a lavish oceanfront mansion in the coastal village of Watch Hill, complete with a section of private beach and a swimming pool. Local residents are complaining they’re now being barred from that area of the beach; even a beach-cleaning crew was recently halted by her security guards. (On the other hand, Watch Hill’s potential as a tourism destination has gone up about 30,000%.)
✳ 27-year-old actress-turned-wack-job Amanda Bynes has turned down a job offer from Playboy, but it’s not the job you might think. Playboy Radio offered her a guest co-host spot with the possibility – if it went well during a 1-week trial – that she might get her own daily, hour-long radio show. The 1-year contract would include a driver and a producer. But alas, she’s turned down the offer because … she’s committed to recording a rap album. (She ought to be committed, for sure.)
✳ Michael Jackson’s 15-year-old daughter Paris is said to be ‘physically fine’ and expected to make a full recovery after being hospitalized for an apparent suicide attempt early Wednesday. According to a family lawyer, she’s getting appropriate medical attention and the Jacksons are seeking privacy. A source close to the family reveals Paris cut herself with a kitchen knife and acknowledges she’s been depressed for a while. (Fortunately, there’s now a boatload of money for all of Michael’s kids to afford lifetime therapy.)
✳ And Emma Watson may be a movie star who flits off to Cannes and hangs with the likes of Sofia Coppola, but the 23-year-old has decided to go back to Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island for the Fall semester. She first enrolled in 2009, then took time off to promote the final “Harry Potter” film in 2011. She tells “W” magazine this time she’ll try to come to terms with the fact her life isn’t normal and she can’t do normal things. Last time around she roomed with a complete stranger and shared a bathroom with 8 others in a co-ed dorm. (“Hermione just washed her face in our sink … OMG!!!!!!”)

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Sunday, in a rerun of this week’s debut, hopefuls audition for the judges in LA, NYC, and San Antonio TX.
• “Britain’s Got Talent” (ITV) – Saturday the live final airs, with guests Ed Sheeran & Taylor Swift performing their new duet “Everything Has Changed”; plus viral superstar Psy.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning “X Factor USA” alumni Emblem3 (“Nothing to Lose”); and 2011 “X Factor UK” winners Little Mix (“DNA”).
• Governors Ball Music Festival (NYC) – This 3-day festival in Randall’s Island Park includes performances by Feist, Grizzly Bear, Guns ‘N Roses, Kanye West, Kings of Leon, the Lumineers, Nas, Miguel, and many, many more.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Rod Stewart (“Time”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Local Natives (“Hummingbird”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight The-Dream f/Gary Clark Jr, David Sanborn & Bob James (“IV Play”).
• Orion Music + More – Saturday-Sunday this 2nd annual event created by Metallica takes place at Belle Isle in Detroit, Michigan. Also on the bill: Deftones, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rise Against, Silversun Pickups, plus a reunion of the Infectious Grooves.
• “Santana – Live at Montreux 2011” (PBS) – Tonight highlights of Carlos Santana performing at the famed Montreux Jazz Festival.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight classic rocker Stephen Stills.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Lionel Richie (“Tuskegee”).
• “Tony Awards” (CBS) – Sunday the 67th annual gala honoring excellence on Broadway airs from NYC’s Radio City Music Hall. The Cyndi Lauper musical “Kinky Boots” leads this year’s nominees with 13 nods. “Matilda”, a musical adaptation of Roald Dahl’s novel, follows with 12.
• UCLA Film Festival (LA) – Tonight the week-long celebration of movie-making gets underway in LA. Actor/director Ben Affleck is one of several industry leaders to be honored during the 22nd annual event hosted by the university’s respected School of Theater, Film, and Television.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Sunday, in a rerun of this week’s action, the top 6 artists perform.

• Beyoncé – Team Beyoncé has reached out to Gayle King during her “CBS This Morning” show to let viewers know that the superstar singer is … absolutely … not … pregnant.
• Daft Punk – For the 2nd straight week, the French electronic music duo’s “Random Access Memories” is the top-selling album, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• Jack White – He’s saved Detroit, Michigan’s historic Masonic Temple by paying off its $142,000 outstanding tax bill. Why? He’s played numerous shows at the theater and his mother was employed there as an usher while he was growing up.
• Lady Antebellum – Tonight they cap off a busy week with a stadium performance at LP Field in Nashville for the CMA Music Festival’s ABC-TV special, airing later this Summer.
• OAR – Tonight their 34-date “Sounds of Summer Tour” begins in Norfolk, Virginia. They are currently at work on their 8th studio album.
• Paul McCartney – Sunday and Monday he’s taking his “Out There!” world tour to Brooklyn NY’s Barclays Center for a pair of shows.
• Toby Keith – His new “Hammer Down Tour” gets underway Saturday night at the Thunder On the Mountain festival in Ozark, Arkansas. Joining him on the trek is special guest Kip Moore.

• “The Internship” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson star as a pair of salesmen whose careers have been torpedoed by the digital age. So they work their way into a coveted internship at Google Inc, where they must compete with a group of young, tech-savvy geniuses for a shot at employment. Co-stars Josh Gad, Jessica Szohr.
• “The Purge” ( R-Rated Sci-fi Thriller ): From the producer of the “Paranormal Activity” horror franchise. In an America wracked by crime and overcrowded prisons, the government has sanctioned an annual 12-hour period in which any and all criminal activity – including murder – becomes legal. Stars Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane.
• Opening in limited release: “Dirty Wars” (Drama);  Évocateur: The Morton Downey Jr Movie (Biography); “Much Ado About Nothing” (Dramedy); “Syrup” (Romantic Comedy); “Violet & Daisy” (Crime Comedy); and “Wish You Were Here” (Drama).

A new study has found that reading and sending email prompts telltale signs of stress including elevated blood pressure, heart rate, and levels of stress hormone cortisol. Researchers who followed a group of 30 government employees found that 83% became more stressed while using email, rising to 92% when speaking on the phone and using email at the same time. Stress levels peaked at points in the day when workers’ inboxes were fullest. (Wait a sec here … government workers who are stressed? Snort!)
– “Daily Telegraph”

If you’re a manager, make sure you are on your workers at 2:55 pm today. That time has been confirmed as the least productive time of day by a poll of more than 400 workers. According to researchers, 2:55 is the clear winner, and they theorize that’s because it’s when employees hit an after-lunch lull and start setting aside work in favor of Facebook and Twitter. Some survey respondents admit it’s around that time that they start thinking about what they want to do that evening. (… as they edge out the front door of the office.)

Left-handed dogs are more likely to be aggressive to strangers than those that are right-pawed. Australian researchers tested a group of dogs to see which paw they preferred to use for basic tasks and then analyzed their behavioral traits. While there was no link with levels of excitability or attention-seeking, they did find that canines that are left-pawed are much more likely to act aggressively toward people they don’t know. (So if you’re looking for a watchdog, first thing to do is ask it to “Shake a paw”.)

There’s new hope for you if you’re tired of plugging in your smartphone all night to top up the juice. San Jose, California high school student Eesha Khare is this year’s Intel Foundation Young Scientist Award winner thanks to her invention that could make it possible to charge a cellphone in just … 30 seconds. The 18-year-old whiz-kid has created a new type of ‘supercapacitor’. (Most high school students couldn’t even spell that.)

At least 1-in-13 of us have feet that are specially adapted for climbing trees.
– “New Scientist”


1952 [61] Liam Neeson, Ballymena, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Schindler’s List”)

1956 [57] LA (Antonio) Reid, Cincinnati OH, record executive-producer (Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, P!nk, Rihanna, Usher, etc)/TV personality (“The X Factor” 2011-13)

1958 [55] Prince (Prince Rogers Nelson), Minneapolis MN, oldies singer (“Purple Rain”, “When Doves Cry”)

1966 [47] Eric Kretz, San Jose CA, rock drummer (Stone Temple Pilots-“Between the Lines”, “Trippin’ On a Hole In a Paper Heart”)

1967 [46] Dave Navarro, Santa Monica CA, rock guitarist (Jane’s Addiction-“Been Caught Stealing”, ex-Red Hot Chili Peppers)

1988 [25] Michael Cera, Brampton ON, movie actor (“Scott Pilgrim vs The World”, “Juno”)/TV actor (“Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013)

Comedian-TV personality Joan Rivers is 80; “Dilbert” cartoonist Scott Adams is 56; Oldies musician Nick Rhodes (Duran Duran) is 51; TV actress Julianna Margulies (“The Good Wife”) is 46; Rapper Kanye West (“Yeezus”, out June 18) is 36; Tennis pro Kim Clijsters is 30.

TV-movie actor Michael J Fox (“Michael J Fox Show”, coming this Fall) is 52; Movie star Johnny Depp (“Pirates Of the Caribbean”) is 50; Rock guitarist-keyboardist-vocalist Matthew Bellamy (Muse) is 35; TV actress Michaela Conlin (“Bones”) is 35; Movie actress Natalie Portman (“Black Swan”) is 32; TV actress Mae Whitman (“Arrested Development”) is 25.

• “Chocolate Ice Cream Day”, celebrating one of the most popular flavors, but not THE most popular flavor. That honor still goes to vanilla, favorite of 29%. Chocolate is runner-up at 9%.
• “Superman Celebration”, the annual festival weekend of ‘super’ events in Metropolis, Illinois.

• “Belmont Stakes”, the 145th running of the 3rd and final jewel in horseracing’s Triple Crown at Elmont NY’s Belmont Park. This year’s total jackpot is circa $1 million.
• “Name Your Poison Day”. Let’s say you can have all you want of one bad-for-you thing for the rest of your life without any repercussions. Which would you pick?
• “World Brain Tumor Day”, a day of awareness of the malady that’s killed off almost as many soap opera stars as heart attacks.
• “World Naked Bike Ride” when naturists in some 70 cities in 20 countries take to the streets on bicycles to ‘celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies’. Participating cities here …
• “World Oceans Day”, a UN observance to honor our oceans, their marine life, and their  sea-lanes that enable international trade.
• “Worldwide Knit in Public Day”, observed since 2005 on the 2nd Saturday of June. It began as a way for knitters to come together and enjoy each other’s company. With local events in at least 10 countries, it’s now said to be the largest knitting event in the world.

• “Canadian Rivers Day”, an annual salute on the 2nd Sunday of June to the source of what is arguably Canada’s greatest resource … fresh water. Canada has 20% of the world’s supply.
• “Children’s Sunday”, an annual celebration of wee folk on the 2nd Sunday in June.
• “Donald Duck Day”, marking the cartoon character’s debut on this day in 1934 as a bit player in the Walt Disney cartoon “The Little Wise Hen”.
• “Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day”, honoring the popular pie that mixes the sweet and the tart.

1993 [20] Groundbreaking ceremony for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland OH is attended by Billy Joel, Chuck Berry, and The Who’s Pete Townshend among others

1993 [20] Prince celebrates his birthday by changing his name to a circle with a curved line below as a protest over his recording contract (for several years he is announced on radio as the ‘artist formerly known as Prince’)

1962 [51] Switzerland banking institution Credit Suisse opens the 1st ‘Drive-Thru Bank’, in downtown Zurich

[Mon] Alcoholics Anonymous Day
[Mon] Ball Point Pen Day
[Mon] Iced Tea Day
[Tues] Corn On the Cob Day
[Wed] Jerky Day
[Wed] Peanut Butter Cookie Day
This Week Is … Business Etiquette Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Shelter Cat Month


✓ The journey of 134 squares begins with a single card.
✓ Good things come to those who wait.
✓ You can’t always get what you want.
✓ ‘Queen Frostine’ giveth and the ‘Peppermint Forest’ taketh away.
✓ Cheaters sometimes win.
✓ Fate is a capricious whore.
✓ If Daddy is tired enough, you can win in just 4 turns.
– Thanks to Eric Stoveken

☎ In Japan, professionally-shot breastfeeding photos taken while a mother nurses her young child have become increasingly popular. Displaying a breast-feeding portrait in your home … charming or embarrassing?

By which can you can tell the quality of a door lock?
a. The size of its hole.
b. The thickness of its key. [CORRECT. The flatter the key, the more worthless the lock.]
c. The rotting corpses trapped inside.
– “Land O’ Useless Facts”

I smell memory leakage. Someone around here is not paying attention!

Question: June is the busiest month for what? (Hint: Not weddings.)
Answer: Garage sales.

One of these days is none of these days.

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