Wednesday, June 7, 2017 – Edition: #5991

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ George and Amal Clooney have welcomed twins.  Ella and Alexander Clooney were born Tuesday morning. Both are reported to be “happy, healthy and doing fine.” Clooney’s publicist joked that “George is sedated and should recover in a few days.” (This is huge.  Not Beyonce-twins huge, but huge.)
-CTV News
★ Comedian Tracy Morgan is refusing to testify in an insurance dispute challenging the multimillion-dollar payout he received after a serious car accident. The comedian’s lawyer Benedict Morelli says Morgan will refuse to appear unless ordered, and called the attempt to depose his client, “harassment”. Morelli says Morgan’s severe injuries have harmed his career.  Morgan now requires a stool on stage because he can’t stand for long periods and requires notes because his memory isn’t the same. (See ‘This Day in Showbiz’)
-Toronto Sun
★The seventh season of ‘Game Of Thrones’ airs this summer and then just one season of the popular fantasy series remains. And fans might have to wait another two years before watching the saga come to a conclusion.  HBO Programming President Casey Bloys says that the next season still has to be written and the production schedule developed.  He expects they will have a better sense of that once more writing is completed.  Meanwhile, thought is also going into developing one or more prequels to the hit series.
-Daily Mail
★ In space, no one can hear you scream — and apparently, no one heard Director Neill Blomkamp’s bid for another Alien film, either. He says hope of another sequel is dead.  Although he did have Sigourney aboard for the project and believed he was working with an awesome concept for the next film, he says it was killed by the powers that be.  Quote: “Politically, the way it’s gone now, and the way that it all is — it’s just not going to live.” He is, however, planning a ‘District 9′ sequel.
(Sounds like he has ‘politic-speak’ down just fine!)
-EW
★ ‘Erinn Hayes, who plays Donna Gable, the wife of Kevin James’ character on ‘Kevin Can Wait’ has confirmed that she has been written off the series. ‘Kevin Can Wait’ was the most-watched new comedy on broadcast TV last season.  Here comes the strange part: Hayes was let go a day after CBS announced that Leah Remini would join the cast as a series regular. Remini, who played James’ wife on the hit CBS sitcom “The King of Queens” for nine seasons, guest-starred as an undercover cop in the “Kevin Can Wait” two-part season finale in May.
-E!
★ A publicist for Jerry Lewis says the comedian is recovering after being treated at a Las Vegas hospital for a urinary tract infection. The 91-year-old comedian and actor was taken to hospital on Friday. He is reportedly doing fine now and is expected to be released shortly. Lewis has dealt with a variety of health issues in the past, including hospitalizations in 2012 for his blood sugar and in 2011 for exhaustion. The comedian is scheduled to begin work on his next movie in Toronto this week.
-CTV
★ British actor Peter Sallis, who played irrepressible, cheese-loving inventor Wallace in the ‘Wallace and Gromit” cartoons, has died. He was 96. Millions know his voice from the series of shorts and features, which charted the adventures of a tea-loving Yorkshireman and his level-headed dog Gromit. He was known for his down-to-earth Yorkshire accent and frequent exclamation: “Cheese, Gromit!”
-Jam.Canoe

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Michael Keaton, Mike Tyson, Charlie Wilson featuring Robin Thicke
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Norm Macdonald, Chelsea Clinton, Robert Irwin, Rae Sremmurd
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Tilda Swinton, Andy Cohen, Jordan Klepper
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Alan Alda, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Desus & Mero, Jared Champion
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Tom Cruise, Jennifer Hudson, Russell Brand, Anthony Joshua, Kings of Leon
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Briga Heelan, Ethan Gruska, Moshe Kasher ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Sebastian Junger, Nick Quested
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy):Tom Rhodes, Sean Donnelly, Lucy Davis
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Nick Offerman, Annabelle Wallis, Mark Normand
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dorinda Medley, John Oliver ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kevin Hart
• “The Talk” (CBS): Felicity Huffman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Salma Hayek, Riley Keough, Scripps National Spelling Bee winner Ananya Vinay
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Mark Wahlberg, Judd Apatow, Daniel Fernandez
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Star Jones, Michael Russo
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Tim Gunn, Tregaye Fraser, Fat Joe & Remy Ma ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Kym Whitley ( R )
• “2017 NBA Finals” (ABC): The Cavaliers host the Warriors as the series shifts to Cleveland for Game 3 of the NBA Finals
• “2017 CMT Music Awards” (CMT): Charles Esten hosts the fan-voted music awards. Performers include Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande – sparked rumors of an engagement at her One Love Manchester mega-gig on Sunday when she hit the stage wearing a huge rock on her ring finger. She teamed up with her boyfriend, Mac Miller, to perform their new track ‘The Way’ in front of the sold-out crowd of 60,000.  She made no mention of her new jewellery.
• Snoop Dog – advises the members of One Direction to reunite while they are still young.  He says if they do regroup in the next few years, they stand to make another $20-30 million each, as opposed to doing it later when “Nobody wants to see a boy band have a comeback in their 40s”.
(Uh, Snoop…NKOTB? Backstreet Boys?)
• Tyga – It seems to have ended badly for Tyga and Kylie Jenner after he seemingly mocked his former lover by suggesting she acted like his doormat in his latest hip hop single.  Lyrics: ‘She a superstar, she got it bad for me, if I hang up, she call right back to me.  You cut her legs off, she crawls right back to me, I call it playboy tenacity.’
• DJ Khaled – has reunited with Drake for a new collaboration called “To the Max” off of Khaled’s forthcoming album, ‘Grateful’.
• George Strait – is the “King of Country.”  Strait has been named the winner of the 2017 Golden Boot Awards Living Legend honor. With 50-some percent of the votes, he won over other iconic country acts like Glen Campbell, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, Randy Travis and Reba McEntire.
• Blake Shelton –  There is new speculation he and Gwen Stefani may be recording together after they were spotted on their way into a studio last week.  It’s unclear if they were just visiting or if one was there to root the other on during a session.
• Austin Webb – and his wife Melanie are now a family of three. The singer shared on social media Sunday that his son had arrived that afternoon. Webb called it the best day of his life.

IF DAD GOES MISSING ON FATHER’S DAY WEEKEND:
You might find dad grilling up burgers for a group of young men whose ad searching for a ‘dad’ figure to assist with their cookout has gone viral.  As you know, no barbecue is complete without a dad standing at the grill, flipping burger patties and telling dad jokes. That’s why a group of dudes in Spokane, Washington, put an ad on Craigslist seeking just that.
The ad’s title reads: “NEEDED: Generic Father for Backyard BBQ.” It was posted to the volunteer page on the Spokane Craigslist site.  A group of men in their 20s who call themselves “The Boys” are hosting the barbecue.  Their ad details the party, which will be held on June 17 in celebration of “beer and each other.” Duties for the volunteer “generic father” include simultaneous beer-drinking and burger-grilling, referring to all guests as “big guy,” “chief,” or “sport,” and talking about dad things like lawnmowers, building your own deck, and Jimmy Buffet.  Potential applicants require the following: 18 years experience as a father, 10 years of grilling experience and an appreciation for beer.  The ad promises ‘all the cold beer your heart desires’ to the right candidate, although it is noted that preference will be given to those named Bill, Randy or Dave.
(“Kiss the Cook” apron mandatory.)
(And for all those applicants who aren’t accepted, now you know a good BBQ to crash on the 17th…and you won’t have to do the grilling!)
-Huffington Post

TOP 10 HAPPIEST COUNTRIES ON EARTH:
…according to the 2016 World Happiness Report
10. Sweden
9. Australia
8. New Zealand
7. The Netherlands
6. Canada
5. Finland
4. Norway
3. Iceland
2. Switzerland
1. Denmark
(I was almost sure that #1 was going to be ‘Disney’!)
(So next time you are cursing the snow, remember that really, it makes you happy!)
(I’m guessing a country’s happiness score is largely determined by how soon the next election is…)
-National Geographic

HEAD GAMES:
Ever since the introduction of ‘Pokemon Go’, we have become aware of the fact that with the right equipment, there is an alternate reality which exists wherever we go.  Kind of.  Well, remember ‘smart glasses’?  Eyewear which is linked to computers, smartphones or gaming consoles are set to explode in a BIG way.  And not literally.  Even though the ‘Google Glass’ has been discontinued, the market for wearable computing is expected to grow from 6 million last year to 50 million by 2022.  And one of the main reasons may have just been introduced.  The “ruggedized” HazLoc glasses — made to military specs and safe to use even in hazardous locations where even cell phones are banned. They cost $3,500, and weigh less than 5 ounces.  The plan is for these smart glasses to replace safety glasses.  In hazardous conditions, workers need to wear glasses anyway — why not make them smart?  Not only can they be used in the field, they can also call up holographic maps, diagrams and repair instructions, and stream what they are ‘seeing’ to an expert or a student anywhere in the world.  And the ‘imaging experience’ is said to be equal to that watching a 100-inch TV at 10 feet.  Not bad.
(I’ll pay $3500 for a pair of smart glasses….as soon as they can make them not look stupid!)
(For $3500, they’d better clean themselves!)
(As opposed to Grandpa, who listens to a 100-decibel TV at 10 feet…)
-Forbes

MOST ANNOYING OFFICE JARGON TERMS:
According to a poll of U.K. office workers:
10. Touch base
9. Think outside the box
8. Out of the loop
7. Drill down
6. Get the ball rolling
5. Brainstorm
4. Going forward
3. To ‘action’ a project
2. Idea shower
1. Blue-sky thinking
(I feel like I just left the longest meeting of my working career!)
(At the end of the day, it should be a no-brainer that these terms are all on my radar.  My impression is that we should hit the ground running, create some synergies, and come up with a game changer.  But let’s not try to reinvent the wheel.  At least that’s what I bring to the table.)
-DailyMail

BS CHRONOMETER 06.07.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [77] Tom Jones, Treforest, Wales, pop singer (“It’s Not Unusual”, “What’s New Pussycat”, “Delilah”)
1952 [65] Liam Neeson, Ballymena, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Taken” movies, “Schindler’s List”)
1956 [61] LA (Antonio) Reid, Cincinnati OH, record executive-producer (Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, P!nk, Rihanna, Usher, etc)/TV personality (“The X Factor” 2011-13)
1966 [51] Eric Kretz, San Jose CA, rock drummer (Stone Temple Pilots-”Between the Lines”, “Trippin’ On a Hole In a Paper Heart”)
1967 [50] Dave Navarro, Santa Monica CA, rock guitarist (Jane’s Addiction-”Been Caught Stealing”, ex-Red Hot Chili Peppers)
1974 [43] Bear Grylls, Donaghadee, Northern Ireland, TV personality (“Running Wild with Bear Grylls”, “Man vs Wild”)
1978 [39] Bill Hader, Tulsa OK, movie actor (“The Angry Birds Movie”, “Trainwreck”)/comedian (“Saturday Night Live” 2005-13).
1988 [29] Michael Cera, Brampton ON, movie actor (“Scott Pilgrim vs The World”, “Juno”)/TV actor (“Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013)
1990 [27] Iggy Azalea, Sydney, Australia, rapper (w/Ariana Grande-”Problem”, f/Charli XCX- “Fancy”)
1991 [26] Fetty Wap (Willie Maxwell II), Paterson NJ, rapper (f/Remy Boyz-“679″, “Trap Queen”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Ice Cream Day”, celebrating one of the most popular flavors, but not THE most popular flavor.  That honor still goes to vanilla, favorite of 29%.  Chocolate is runner-up at 9%.
• “VCR Day”, honoring the TV recorder introduced on this day in 1975.  Many homes still have one lurking in a closet.  Many more still have VHS tapes … but nothing to play them on.
• “Daniel Boone Day”, On June 7, 1769, frontiersman Daniel Boone first saw the forests and valleys of present-day Kentucky.  He is largely credited with exploration and settlement of that state. Contrary to the coonskin cap-wearing stereotype, Boone preferred a felt hat.
• “Running Day”, runners everywhere celebrate their love for this age-old sport.  Did you know that running was the most important athletic event during the first Olympic games in 776 BC?  A cook named Koroibos won the 200-yard “stadium race.”  He was crowned with an olive wreath.
• “Tailors’ Day”, celebrates the people who made or altered your clothes to make them fit and look just right. (I just had mine let out the shower curtain!)

AND REMEMBER…
[Thurs] Best Friends Day
[Thurs] Jelly Filled Donut Day
[Thurs] Name Your Poison Day
[Fri] Donald Duck Day
[Fri] Marriage Day
[Fri] Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [03] Comedian Tracy Morgan is hospitalized in critical condition after his limo bus is hit by a speeding semi; fellow comedian James McNair does not survive
2015 [02] At the 69th Tony Awards, Helen Mirren wins ‘Best Leading Actress’ for “The Audience”; Alex Sharp wins ‘Best Leading Actor’ for “The Curious Incident Of the Dog In the Night-Time”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1993 [24] Prince celebrates his 35th birthday by changing his name to a circle with a curved line below as a protest over his recording contract (for several years he is announced on radio as the ‘artist formerly known as Prince’)
2002 [15] Virgin Records announces it’s dropping Victoria Beckham after her debut solo album, which cost over $5 million to make, sells only 50,000 copies (financially, she managed to survive…)
2012 [05] Bob Welch, an early member of Fleetwood Mac who enjoyed a successful solo career with hits such as “Ebony Eyes”, is found dead in his Nashville TN home from an apparent suicide at age 66

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1993 [24] Groundbreaking ceremony for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland OH is attended by Billy Joel, Chuck Berry, and The Who’s Pete Townshend among others

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
• Even dead flamingos can stand on one leg.
• Whales only became huge 2-3 million years ago.
• Big cats like the smell of Chanel perfume.
• There’s a faceless fish which can be found deep in the ocean.
• Mouse sperm can survive in space.
– BBC

REASONS TO COME TO WORK NAKED:
✓ No one ever steals your chair.
✓ Gives ‘bad hair day’ a whole new meaning.
✓ Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
✓ People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.
✓ You want to see if its like the dream.
✓ To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.
✓ “I’d love to chip in… but I left my wallet in my pants.”
✓ Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources.
✓ Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
✓ Your boss will never say, I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00 ever again.
-killsometime.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎What is the best ‘burn’ that you have ever been victim of?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 75% of married women say they have made their husband do this. What?
Answer:  Change his shoes before leaving the house

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.


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