Wednesday, June 8, 2016 – Edition: #5748

Sheet For Brains!

★ Muhammad Ali is on today’s new cover of “Sports Illustrated”. The photo was shot by lensman Neil Leifer while Ali trained in Miami Beach FL in 1970. It’s the late heavyweight champ’s 40th appearance on the front of the magazine. Only Michael Jordan has been on more covers, with 50. A private family service for Ali is being held tomorrow in Louisville KY; the public funeral is on Friday.
– AP
★ Disney’s animated hit “Zootopia” has surpassed $1 billion in worldwide box office. The family adventure film has joined “Captain America: Civil War” as Disney’s 2nd billion-dollar movie of the year and becomes the 26th movie in box office history to hit the benchmark. Since opening March 4th, “Zootopia” has also become one of the biggest critical hits of the year, boasting a 98% Rotten Tomatoes score.
★ The dates for next year’s Coachella festival have been revealed. The massive, annual festival is set for April 14-26 and April 21-23 in 2017 at the usual polo grounds venue in Indio, California. Advance tickets are already on sale this week.
★ And the Playboy Mansion has been sold. Hugh Hefner’s famous 6-acre estate, built in 1927, has been the location of some of the wildest Hollywood parties ever thrown, but earlier this year Playboy Enterprises began looking to sell the fabled pad for around $200 million with the provision 90-year-old Hef be allowed to live out his days there. Turns our his next door neighbor, Daren Metropoulos, is reportedly set to buy the joint. No word on the purchase price.

• “CMT Awards” (CMT) – Hosted live from Nashville TN by Erin Andrews & NFLer JJ Watt (Houston Texans). Performances by Blake Shelton, Carrie Underwood, Chris Stapleton, Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Keith Urban, Luke Bryan, and Thomas Rhett.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Temper Trap (“Thick as Thieves”, out Friday).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Garfunkel & Oates (“All Over Your Face”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tegan & Sara (“Love You to Death”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – “Tony Awards” host James Corden.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Gary Clark Jr (“The Story of Sonny Boy Slim”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Dan + Shay (“Obsessed”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Oldies singer Lionel Richie.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Marc Anthony (“3.0”).

• Collective Soul – They got mislabeled as a Christian rock band after the release of their 1993 single “Shine”.
• Dierks Bentley – His new album “Black” has scored a career high for the country star, debuting at #1 on the country chart and #2 on the all-genre ‘Billboard 200’ chart. It’s his highest charting album ever.
• Jack White – He’s made it clear he had nothing to do with his upcoming biography. Veteran music writer Nick Halsted is releasing “Citizen Jack: How Jack White Built an Empire From the Blues” in October. Halsted has previously written biographies on Eminem and The Kinks.
• Lisa Loeb – 1994’s “Stay” was the 1st single to ever reach #1 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ by an unsigned artist.
• Nirvana – Kurt Cobain took the title for their biggest hit from Kathleen Hanna of the punk rock band Bikini Kill, who had written “Kurt smells like Teen Spirit” on his apartment wall. He didn’t realize that ‘Teen Spirit’ was a brand of deodorant.
• The Prophets of Rage – As expected, the supergroup (made up of members of Rage Against the Machine, Lord of Public Enemy, and Cypress Hill) is hitting the road for a massive North American tour. The “Make America Rage Again Tour” kicks off in Fairfax VA on August 19th and wraps in Chula Vista CA on October 16th.

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Binge Learning’ – Compulsively or obsessively watching online lectures or taking online courses.
• ‘Rollable TV’ – A TV screen that is flexible enough to be rolled up. Samsung showcased its latest advancements in the technology at last week’s Display Week 2016 in San Francisco CA.
• ‘Slashie’ – A person who holds down two or more jobs, ie: model/actor, writer/barista, college student/stripper.

The best ways to find the pick of the crop …
• Bananas – They are at peak taste when their skin is bright yellow, mottled with a little brown.
• Bell Peppers – Look for those that are firm, heavy, and brightly colored, with green stems and skin that’s free of blemishes.
• Carrots– Seek out carrots that are firm and well-shaped and avoid those that have cracks.
• Kale – Best when its leaves are deep green and not wilted. Bunches with small leaves are usually more tender.
• Peaches – While your instinct may be to avoid bruised-looking fruit, those blemishes, called sugar spots, are actually signs you’ve found a sweet, sugary peach.
• Pears – The stem end is its best indicator of ripeness; if it gives under slight pressure, it’s good to go.
• Strawberries – Pick berries that are firm, shiny, and bright red, with stem caps still attached.
• Tomatoes – The freshest are plump, brightly colored, and free of dark spots. If the stem end smells like a fresh garden, you’ve got a winner.
• Watermelon – If it has a ‘ground spot’, an ugly patch of dirt on the side, it’s a good sign that it was left on the vine long enough to ripen.
• Zucchini – Be on the lookout for medium-size squash that are firm and heavy, with skin that’s glossy and brightly colored.
– Condensed from

Quirky fast-food swag is having a moment. In early May, KFC debuted a new chicken-flavored nail polish. Now, Burger King Brazil has create a Whopper-scented air freshener. BK employees hung the meat-perfumed ornament on cab rearview mirrors outside bars and night clubs and filmed clueless passengers as they sniffed the air. Eventually, the hungry customers started craving their own burgers, and instructed their drivers to swing by a Burger King. No word on whether the fast food-themed car accessory will go on sale in Brazil, or anywhere else. In the meantime, if you really want to smell burgers all day, we’re sure a bottle of Burger King Japan’s limited-edition Whopper-scented perfume will eventually pop up on eBay. (Because who wouldn’t want to smell like a cow?)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 45% of people who cheat on their diet do not tell their partner about it.
• 44% of parents say their kids have become more rude since they started playing videogames.
• 40% of us have never treated our partners to breakfast in bed.
• 31% of wedding DJs have seen a fight while working a reception.
• 25% of women say the sexiest part of the male body is strong arms with muscles.
• 2% of women weigh themselves multiple times per day.

Skincare product Nivea recently built a waterslide that streamlines the process of having fun in the Sun. When kids ride down the special ‘SunSlide’, they are sprayed with a mist of SPF 50+ water resistant sunblock. The waterslide has been inflated on the most popular beach in South Africa, a country where roughly 20,000 cases of skin cancer are reported each year. It holds close to 13 gallons of sunscreen, which is sprayed on riders from hundreds of jets as they scoot past. Each kid is given goggles beforehand, so the sunscreen doesn’t get in their eyes. Over 100 sliders can be covered per hour. (Brilliant! Lots of parents would happily pay for this, no?)

• Miley Cyrus – After all the notoriety stirred up by her controversial 2013 MTV Video Music Awards performance, she insured her tongue for a million dollars.
• Jennifer Lopez – Reports variously have it that she has insured her voluptuous booty for anywhere from $27 million to $300 million.
• Dolly Parton – She insured her famous 40-DD chest in 1970 for $600,000. That’s worth circa $4 million today.
• Tom Jones – The iconic Brit singer was so well-known for his unbuttoned shirts that he once insured his chest hair for a staggering $7 million.
• Heidi Klum – As a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model she insured her legs for $2.2 million; the left for $200,000 less than the right due to a small scar on the knee.
• Cristiano Ronaldo – Not to be outdone by Ms Klum, the soccer superstar has had his legs insured by his club Real Madrid for a massive $144 million.
• Keith Richards – The Rolling Stones guitarist had his money makers (his hands) insured for $1.6 million. Some sources claim that amount was just for his left hand’s middle finger.
– Adapted from

Brit naturalist Chris Packham recommends that you eat tadpoles. (Erp.)
– “The Times”


1957 [59] Scott Adams, Windham NY, comic strip cartoonist (“Dilbert”)

1962 [54] Nick Rhodes, Birmingham UK, classic rock keyboardist (Duran Duran-“The Reflex”)

1966 [50] Julianna Margulies, Spring Valley NY, TV actress (“The Good Wife” 2009-16, “ER” 1994-2000)

1977 [39] Kanye West, Atlanta GA, rap artist/producer (“FourFiveSeconds”, “Bound 2”)

1978 [38] Sturgill Simpson, Jackson KY, alt-country/roots singer-songwriter (“Brace for Impact”, “In Bloom”)

1984 [32] Torrey DeVitto, Huntington NY, TV actress (‘Melissa Hastings’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2010, “The Vampire Diaries” 2012-13)

• “Best Friend Day”, a day to salute our BFFs for being there … when nobody else is.

• “Name Your Poison Day”. Let’s say you can have all you want of one bad-for-you thing for the rest of your life without any repercussions. Which would you pick?

• “Upsy Daisy Day”, encouraging us to face the day positively and to get up ‘gloriously, gratefully and gleefully’ each morning. (Another observance from the Society of the Hopelessly Optimistic.)

• “World Brain Tumor Day”, a day of awareness of the malady that’s killed off almost as many soap opera stars as heart attacks.

• “World Oceans Day”, a UN observance to honor our oceans, their marine life, and their sea-lanes that enable international trade.

2009 [07] NYC’s legendary Apollo Theatre celebrates its 75th anniversary with a concert featuring, among others, The O’Jays and Patti Labelle

2008 [08] “Rolling Stone” lists the ‘Top 50 Guitar Songs of All-Time’ (top 5, in order, are “Johnny B Goode”, “Purple Haze”, “Crossroads”, “You Really Got Me”, and “Brown Sugar”)

2012 [04] 37-year-old singer Lauryn Hill is charged with willfully failing to file income tax returns

1966 [50] NFL and AFL football leagues announce their merger

[Thurs] Bonnaroo Festival begins (Manchester TN)
[Fri] Iced Tea Day
[Fri] Banana Split Day
[Sat] Bestival begins (Toronto ON)
[Sat] Belmont Stakes (NYC)
[Sat] World Bike Naked Day
This Week Is … Bed Bug Awareness Week
This Month Is … Soul Food Month


✗ “The Godfather III Part II”
✗ “Die Harderer”
✗ “Frozen 2: Thawed”
✗ “Avatar 3: The Smurfs Grow Up”
✗ “Wuthering Widths”
✗ “Back With the Wind”
✗ “Jurassic World: The Musical”
✗ “Harry Potter & The Pants Full of Macaroni”
✗ “Gandhi II: Makeout Summer”
✗ “Star Wars: The Subtitle Doesn’t Matter, You’re Gonna Line Up to See This Crap Anyway”

• You’re in Canada’s Far North and are served a delicious concoction of melted caribou fat seasoned with ground caribou meat and wild berries. What are you having?
a. Ice cream. [CORRECT. Inuit ice cream.]
b. One-pot stew.
c. Indigestion.

• Which event accounts for 43% of all rodeo injuries?
a. Bull Riding [CORRECT]
b. Steer Wrestling, aka Bulldogging
c. Barrel Racing

• What’s the smallest bone in your body?
a. The anvil.
b. The stirrup. [CORRECT. In your inner ear. It’s smaller than an ant.]
c. Depends if you are male or female.

I am not in denial!

Can you name the category that fits all 3 items given?
• Chuck, Rib, Round … Beef Cuts
• Iota, Mu, Upsilon … Greek Letters
• Vesta, Mars, Juno … Roman Gods
• Cinnamon, Cardamom, Clove … Spices
• Argon, Radon, Krypton … Noble Gases
• Akita, Chihuahua, Saluki … Dog Breeds

☎ Which profession takes itself waaaay too seriously? (Actors and their ‘craft’? Journalists and their ‘scoops’? Cabbies and their politics?)

Question: If you’re average you have 9 of THESE in total, 3 of which are completely useless.
Answer: Keys.

Motivation is what gets you in the door, habits are what make you stay.

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