Thursday, June 8, 2017 – Edition: #5992

Sheet For Brains!

★ Amal Clooney reportedly gave birth in a luxurious private suite in the Kensington Wing at London’s Chelsea and Westminster Hospital which cost up to US$11,000. The human rights lawyer and  husband George Clooney are said to have welcomed their twins – Alexander and Ella – into the world in the comfort of a luxurious private suite. That price tag apparently comes with one-to-one midwife support and 24 hour care by a consultant. (Well, if THEY aren’t going to use a fancy suite like that, who would??)
(Does the price double because they had twins?)
★ Bill Maher will return to host Real Time on HBO tomorrow after drawing criticism for uttering a racial slur on the air. HBO has confirmed that Maher will appear on tomorrow’s show, though his long-term future at the network remains unclear. This week’s episode will not go on completely as planned: Senator Al Franken of Minnesota has canceled his scheduled appearance.
★ David Spade was hit hard by burglars, who busted into his Beverly Hills home and walked out with his safe. That was the only thing taken, but it was apparently filled with cash and jewelry … including a wedding band that belonged to David’s mom. All told, they made off with about $80k worth of stuff. (Sounds like a lot, but his net worth is listed at $40 million, if you can believe it!)
★ When he’s not swinging into action as Spider-Man, Tom Holland is using his role as the friendly neighborhood superhero to bring a few smiles to sick kids’ faces. The British actor stopped by the Children’s Hospital Los Angeles in costume where he greeted many of the young patients while in costume. He even graced one lucky patient with one of his patented Spidey flips in the hospital hallway.
★ Bill Skarsgard has taken on the iconic role of Pennywise the clown in the big screen remake of Stephen King’s classic horror tale ‘It’.  Skarsgard makes it clear he didn’t hold back during filming. He says that if he succeeds at what he intends to do with this character, he will “traumatize kids”.
★ Mischa Barton has reached a deal with an ex-boyfriend banning him from releasing a sex tape. The O.C. star was granted an extension to temporary restraining orders against Jon Zacharias and another ex, Adam Shaw.  Barton alleged they had been trying to sell an explicit sex tape of her with an asking price of $500,000.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zac Efron, Connie Nielsen, Zac Brown Band ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Will Arnett, Courtney B. Vance, Buckingham McVie
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Mulaney, Richard Branson, Halsey
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Joel Edgerton, Zoe Lister-Jones, Royal Blood, Jared Champion
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): David Beckham, Emily Blunt, Harry Styles
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Sofia Boutella, Potty Mouth, Emily V. Gordon, Arielle Kebbel ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Salma Hayek
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Hale Appleman, Summer Bishil, Olivia Taylor Dudley
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Mike Tyson, Riley Keough, Laurie Kilmartin
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kim Kardashian West ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael Bloomberg, Melissa Leo
• “The Talk” (CBS): Wayne Brady
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Laura Prepon, Steven Yeun, Michael Franti & Spearhead
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Owen Wilson, Curtis Stone, Sofie Dossi
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Courtney B. Vance, Charly Black
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Corey Hawkins, Mae Whitman, Hilary Farr & David Visentin ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Erica Ash ( R )
• “2017 Stanley Cup Final” (CBC, SN, NBC): Nashville visits Pittsburgh in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final.

• Ariana Grande – her One Love Manchester benefit concert raised over $3 million so far for the Manchester Emergency Fund.  Total funds including donations is at $12 million and growing steadily.
• Journey – appear to be feuding, just months after their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Guitarist Neal Schon has taken aim at keyboardist Jonathan Cain on social media, Instagramming, “I want to be elevated by whom I play with, not feel like I’ve got cement shoes…If anyone is unhappy they are not running my band, then they should leave.” (Their current tour must be a joy to see, don’t you think?)
• Santana – is set to release a collaboration with The Isley Brothers.  “Power of Peace” will drop Aug. 4 and feature one new song, ‘I Remember’, alongside a collection of covers including ‘Higher Ground’, ‘What the World Needs Now is Love’, and ‘God Bless the Child’.
• Guns N’ Roses – guitarist Richard Fortus says that the band is in the early stages of working on new material.  He cautions that they have yet to enter the studio to formally record any tracks for a new album. (And at Axl’s usual pace, that means we may hear something new around 2029!)
• Pete Townshend – His classic ‘Quadrophenia’ is heading to the U.S. for a handful of tour dates later this summer.  The shows, which include orchestra versions of songs from the Who’s 1973 album, feature Townshend, Billy Idol and tenor Alfie Boe.
• Kanye West – A pair of new Kanye tracks leaked on Sunday night. The first, “Hold Tight,” features Migos and Young Thug and the second, “Euro (Switch Hands)” is a duet with A$AP Rocky. (Hqppy birthday, Ye!)
• Hank Williams Jr. – is coming back to the Monday Night Football fold.  Six years since being pulled from the show over some controversial remarks, Hank Jr.’s “All My Rowdy Friends Are Here On Monday Night” will debut once again before a Sept. 11 game between the New Orleans Saints and the Minnesota Vikings.
• Lee Brice – and his wife Sara welcomed their third child, daughter Trulee Nanette Brice on Friday.
• Ray Scott – is gearing up to release a brand-new album. “Growin’ Old,” He describes it as “pretty serious” and “pretty sad.” Scott co-wrote the title song shortly after a good friend died following an accident.

a BS selection of movies in the making…
• “The Irishman” – A mob hit man (Robert DeNiro) recalls his possible involvement in the slaying of Jimmy Hoffa. (Al Pacino, Bobby Cannavale) Date TBA.
• “The Alchemist” –  A shepherd leaves Spain in search of a treasure in the Egyptian pyramids and meets various spiritual messengers along the way. Directed by and Starring Laurence Fishburne.  Expected in 2018.
• “Deadpool 2” –  Ryan Reynolds is set to reprise his role as the wise-cracking mercenary Deadpool. Cable, the future offspring of Cyclops will appear. Set for June 1, 2018.
• “The Equalizer 2” – A sequel to the 2014 film, “The Equalizer”, which is based on the TV series about a retired agent who’s a hired gun for vengeance.  (Denzel Washington)  September 2018.
• “Untitled Joe Paterno movie” – Al Pacino will star as the former Penn State football coach in an HBO film to be directed by Barry Levinson.  After becoming the winningest coach in college football history, Joe Paterno is embroiled in Penn State’s Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal, challenging his legacy and forcing him to face questions of institutional failure on behalf of the victims.  Date TBA

If you think your Siri and your Cortana and your Google Voice and your Alexa are smart now, just hold on for a few decades.  According to a poll of artificial intelligence researchers, machines will outperform humans in all tasks within 45 years.  And AI  will master many activities a lot sooner than that. Machines are predicted to be better than us at translating languages by 2024, writing high-school essays by 2026, driving a truck by 2027, working in retail by 2031, writing a bestselling book by 2049 and at surgery by 2053. In fact, according to those people who supposedly know, all human jobs will be automated within the next 120 years.  If these predictions are correct, just imagine the consequences.  For example: How will teachers deal with computer-generated essays that are indistinguishable from the real thing?  But at least we will still be around to deal with these issues. Despite media hype about the dangers of AI, the researchers put only a 5 per cent chance on computers bringing about outcomes as severe as something like human extinction.
(Well, I hate to say it, but AI had me beat in the essay writing department the day it was invented!)
(I knew computers were smarter than me the day I was introduced to ‘Ask Jeeves’.)
-New Scientist

Pink is in.  Apparently the global taste-makers of the world who are the millennials have decided that they must have all things pink.  Exhibit A: Pink Pineapples.  Yes, it is a thing.  And these aren’t just decorative pineapples that have been sprayed pink – the fruit has actually been grown with a magenta tinge to its exterior.  The inside? Cut it in half and you’ll also find that the fruit magically bears  ‘Tumblr pink’ flesh similar to that of a grapefruit. How? Fruit growers managed to grow pink pineapples by changing certain enzymes that give pineapples their yellow hue into pink pigment.  And despite the fact that it has been 12 years in the making, the fruit has conveniently arrived just in time to ride the current wave of appreciation for all things pink.
(The problem will be when pink falls out of fashion, and plaid comes back…that’ll be a tough one!)
(I’m pretty sure Gilligan and Skipper had this in that first black and white season of Gilligan’s Island!)
-Evening Standard

Yes, working out is good for you.  And we should all be doing it.  Though doctors recommend regular exercise to keep our bodies functioning optimally and in good shape, what we don’t always hear from them is what type of exercise they recommend. What do DOCTORS do?  Well, that exact question was put to a number of doctors, and one workout in particular came out the clear winner.  Yoga.  While popular exercise activities like brisk walking, weightlifting, and running all made the list, EVERY doctor polled indicated that he or she was a regular yoga participant, if that is the right term.
Among the reasons for favoring yoga given by the physicians:
• it is also good for relaxing the mind
• hot yoga detoxes the muscles
• it improves flexibility
One doctor said she feels that doing yoga as part of two to three hours of exercise per day tricks the brain into thinking we’re growing younger.
(I can tell you my doctor’s preferred workout: running late.  He’s doing it every time I see him!)
(Doctors?  I thought for sure that golf would be number one!)

Here are the most common lengths you’ll see in guy’s swimwear, and who they work for the best:

○ Long (Board Shorts): Good for active guys of average height or taller.  Make sure you find a tailored pair without too much excess cloth, and even then, skinny guys and guys of below average height will look swamped.
○ Medium (Shorts-length Trunks): Good for tall guys, skinny-legged guys, guys going somewhere after the beach.  This is the go-to length for most guys.  These trunks go anywhere. You can wear them to the beach, then you can go to a friend’s barbecue afterward without feeling like you’re rocking anything too skimpy.
○ Medium-Short (Swim-length Trunks): Good for short guys, guys with developed thighs.  This can look pleasingly vintage, or charmingly European. If you’re short, it keeps things in proportion.
○ Short (Square Cut): Good for built guys. This is a great look for guys who have put in the hours at the gym. They emphasize a square frame, and will give you a streamlined look.
○ Very Short (Speedo): Good for Olympic swimmers, or guys with Ryan Lochte-level confidence.  One school of thought says almost no one looks good in these. The other says this can actually be a good look for a variety of body types, because it conforms to the body. (Does it ever!)
(I’ve been looking for ‘none of the above….’)
(You’ll wear whatever your wife buys for you…and you’ll like it!)
-Men’s Health


1940 [77] Nancy Sinatra, pop singer, (“These Boots Are Made for Walkin”),  eldest daughter of Frank Sinatra

1951 [66] Bonnie Tyler, Skewen, Wales, pop singer (“Total Eclipse of the Heart”, “It’s A Heartache”)

1957 [60] Scott Adams, Windham NY, comic strip cartoonist (“Dilbert”)

1962 [55] Nick Rhodes, Birmingham UK, classic rock keyboardist (Duran Duran-“Hungry Like the Wolf”)

1966 [51] Julianna Margulies, Spring Valley NY, TV actress (“The Good Wife” 2009-16, “ER” 1994-2000)

1977 [40] Kanye West, Atlanta GA, rap artist/producer (“FourFiveSeconds”, “Bound 2″)

1984 [33] Torrey DeVitto, Huntington NY, TV actress (‘Melissa Hastings’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2010, “The Vampire Diaries” 2012-13)

• “Best Friend Day”, a day to salute our BFFs for being there … when nobody else is.

• “Name Your Poison Day”.  Let’s say you can have all you want of one bad-for-you thing for the rest of your life without any repercussions. Which would you pick?

• “Upsy Daisy Day”, encouraging us to face the day positively and to get up ‘gloriously, gratefully and gleefully’ each morning. (Another observance from the Society of the Hopelessly Optimistic.)

• “World Brain Tumor Day”, a day of awareness of the malady that’s killed off almost as many soap opera stars as heart attacks.

• “World Oceans Day”, a UN observance to honor our oceans, their marine life, and their sea-lanes that enable international trade.

• “Jelly Filled Donut Day”, a real challenge might be to see who can eat one without making a mess!

[Fri] Donald Duck Day
[Fri] Marriage Day
[Fri] Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day
[Sat] Ballpoint Pen Day
[Sat] Black Cow Day
[Sat] Herbs and Spices Day

2009 [08] NYC’s legendary Apollo Theatre celebrates its 75th anniversary with a concert featuring, among others, The O’Jays and Patti Labelle

2008 [09] “Rolling Stone” lists the ‘Top 50 Guitar Songs of All-Time’ (top 5, in order, are “Johnny B Goode”, “Purple Haze”, “Crossroads”, “You Really Got Me”, and “Brown Sugar”)

2012 [05] 37-year-old singer Lauryn Hill is charged with willfully failing to file income tax returns

1966 [51] NFL and AFL football leagues announce their merger.  The leagues maintained separate regular-season schedules for the next four seasons — then officially merged before the 1970 season to form one league with two conferences.


• Crying keeps you healthy by literally flushing away harmful bacteria and reducing stress.
• Your height is generally determined by your father. Intelligence, emotional strength and body shape is determined by your mother.
• When you look up at the blue sky and see little white dots flying around, you’re actually seeing your own white blood cells.
• Close friends tend to have actual genetic similarities to each other, like families do.
-WTF Facts

✗ “The Godfather III Part II”
✗ “Die Harderer”
✗ “Frozen 2: Thawed”
✗ “Avatar 3: The Smurfs Grow Up”
✗ “Wuthering Widths”
✗ “Back With the Wind”
✗ “Jurassic World: The Musical”
✗ “Harry Potter & The Pants Full of Macaroni”
✗ “Gandhi II: Makeout Summer”
✗ “Star Wars: The Subtitle Doesn’t Matter, You’re Gonna Line Up to See This Crap Anyway”
-First published in BS in 2016

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

☎It’s common to complain about unnecessary or terrible sequels. But name a movie or book you really wish would be given the ‘Part II’ treatment.

Question: 19% of hotel workers say they found THIS left behind in one of the rooms. What is it?
Answer: Dentures!

It’s better to be disliked for who you are than liked for who you’re not.

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