Monday, June 9, 2014        Edition: #5236


Sweet Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ 35-year-old Wal-Mart truck driver Kevin Roper of Georgia has been charged with 1 count of death by auto and 4 counts of assault by auto after crashing into comedian/actor Tracy Morgan’s 2012 Mercedes-Benz Sprinter limo bus. The driver was apparently asleep at the wheel of his truck, causing the deadly accident on the New Jersey Turnpike that critically injured Morgan (ex-“30 Rock”) early Saturday. One of Morgan’s writers and closest confidants was pronounced dead at the scene. Morgan is currently listed in critical condition.
– “New York Daily News”
★ “Game of Thrones” author George RR Martin, whose books are the source for the hit HBO show, is raising money for a wolf sanctuary in Sante Fe, New Mexico by offering prizes to fans for different levels of donations. At the top contribution level, $20,000 or more, fans will get a character in the upcoming novel “Song Of Ice and Fire” named in their honor, and that character, he promises, will die a grim death. So far, he’s raised over $220,000 for the cause, but no one has yet taken him up on the character assassination offer.
– E! Online
★ And 49-year-old producer-rapper-entrepreneur Dr Dre has become the proud new owner of power couple Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen’s lavish Brentwood, California mansion. The mega-home is equipped with 5 bedrooms, 9 baths, gym, sauna, infinity pool, and … a moat. Asking price – $50 million. Dre reportedly snapped it up for a mere $40 mill, easily affordable thanks to his recent sale of Beats to Apple. Don’t worry, Brady & Bundchen aren’t homeless … they now have another exquisite house under construction in Massachusetts.
– “Los Angeles Times”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Fifth Harmony (“Better Together”). Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Grouplove (“Shark Attack”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Nick Cannon (“White People Party Music”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Michael Bublé (“To Be Loved”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Mo (“No Mythologies to Follow”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Kaiser Chiefs (“Education, Education, Education & War”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Sia (“1,000 Forms of Fear”, out July 8th).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Willie Nelson (“Band of Brothers”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Colbie Caillat (“All of You”); Nicki Minaj (“The Pink Print”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Cee Lo Green (“Cee Lo’s Magic Moment”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Jack White (“Lazaretto”, out tomorrow).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beastie Boys – A judge has awarded them a $1.7 million settlement in their lawsuit against Monster Energy over the company’s unauthorized use of their music in an online promotional video. A rep for Monster tells “Rolling Stone” the company plans to appeal the verdict.
• The Beatles –  Original manuscripts and drawings by John Lennon, created for 2 books he wrote in the mid-1960s, have sold for $2.9 million, more than double the pre-sale estimate by Sotheby’s auction house.
• Brantley Gilbert – He has the #1 country album this week with “Just As I Am”, which debuted atop the ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart.
• Chris Young – He cancelled his CMA Music Festival gig on Friday at LP Field in Nashville after accidentally cutting his left hand with a kitchen knife. The mishap has required surgery to repair damaged tendons.
• The Kinks – The 1960s Brit band may reunite to tour and release a new album. Frontman Ray Davies says the group’s members, including his brother Dave, have resolved their differences after splitting up in the 1990s.

GOOGLE GLASS FOR BIKERS:
A new motorcycle helmet combines augmented reality with several hi-tech features to help keep bikers safe. Fusar Technologies’ new ‘Guardian GA-1 Helmet’ features a heads-up display on its visor, cameras offering front and rear views, a compass, a microphone, and speakers. It comes with a service similar to OnStar, so the driver can be contacted if a crash is detected. The headgear is the brainchild of 27-year-old Hoboken NJ resident Ryan Shearman, who says riding a motorcycle in the city is akin to ‘running with the bulls’. He hopes his hi-tech helmet will hit the market by Summer 2015. (Can you picture this on “Sons of Anarchy”?)
NET: http://www.fusar-tech.com
– AutoEvolution.com

BABY SPA:
New moms apparently aren’t the only ones who need a spa day. ‘Float Baby’, a hydrotherapy spa for babies has made its debut in Houston, Texas. Its owner claims that babies’ brains and bodies can benefit from 20-minute water floatation sessions. The little ones stay afloat in a tiny pool of purified (not chlorinated) water thanks to an inner tube that’s inflated around the neck. Swim diapers are provided, as are warm towels, and moms are always an arm’s reach away. The baby spa also offers infant massage, with rates comparable to a grown-up rubdown … $65 an hour. Float Baby’s website says massage ‘enhances neurological development’ and ‘helps babies sleep better and more soundly’. (Does a newborn seriously need a day at the spa?)
NET: http://floatbabies.com
– USAToday.com

PSEUDO-CHOCOLATE:
27-year-old Burbank, California inventor Ian Goldfarb has come up with a calorie-free way to get your chocolate fix. ‘Cravings’ are billed as a satisfying chocolate candy substitute. They are edible films (think Listerine Strips breath fresheners) infused with milk chocolate flavoring. The sugar-free, zero calorie strips dissolve in your mouth, thereby supposedly satisfying your sweet tooth. Goldfarb says he came up with the idea because keeping his diet under control has always been a struggle, especially when he has a hankering for chocolate. (Zero-calorie chocolate? Bring. It. On.)
– NYDailyNews.com

STRESS-BINGING:
There might be a scientific reason why we tend to reach for the cookie jar when under stress. Scientists at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania have found that stress can cause us to want to binge on sugary treats, a possible cause for emotional eating. Stress, it turns out, ratchets up the secretion of hormones called glucocorticoids, or GCs, which in turn rev up GC receptors in our taste cells that love sweet and savory food. In experiments, stressed mice were found to have 77% more GC receptors in their taste cells than non-stressed mice. (Now there’s a unique job … ‘Mouse Stressor’.)
– MedicalNewsToday.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
The law firm that Qatar has hired to help protect its reputation after recent reports alleging World Cup bribes? Schillings, the same law firm that did such solid work for those paragons of virtue Lance Armstrong and Tiger Woods.
– PopBitch.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.09.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [58] Patricia Cornwell, Miami FL, one of the world’s top-selling crime novelists (latest book in her series about forensic pathologist ‘Dr Kay Scarpetta’ is “Flesh and Blood”)

1961 [53] Michael J Fox, Edmonton AB, TV actor (“Michael J Fox Show” 2013-14, “Spin City” 1996-2000)/movie actor (“Back To the Future” films)/founder of Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research

1963 [51] Johnny Depp, Owensboro KY, movie star (“Alice in Wonderland”, “Pirates Of the Caribbean” films)

1978 [36] Matthew Bellamy, Cambridge UK, rock guitarist-keyboardist-vocalist (Muse-“Resistance”, “Uprising”)/actress Kate Hudson’s baby daddy

1978 [36] Michaela Conlin, Allentown PA, TV actress (‘Angela Montenegro’ on “Bones” since 2005)/movie actress (“The Lincoln Lawyer”)

1981 [33] Natalie Portman (Hershlag), Jerusalem, Israel, movie actress (Oscar-“Black Swan”, “Thor”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Donald Duck Day”, marking the cartoon character’s debut on this day 80 years ago (1934) as a bit player in the Walt Disney cartoon “The Little Wise Hen”.

• “Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day”, honoring the popular pie that mixes the sweet and the tart. Nummers!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [08] Animated movie blockbuster “Cars” debuts in theaters

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1973 [41] Secretariat wins Belmont Stakes to become the 1st horse racing Triple Crown winner since Citation in 1948 (time of 2:24 is a world record many believe will never be broken)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1944 [70] A record litter of 23 puppies is born to ‘Lena’, a foxhound (Ambler, Pennsylvania)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Iced Tea Day
[Tues] World Pet Memorial Day
[Wed] Corn On the Cob Day
[Thurs] 2014 World Cup begins (Brazil)
[Thurs] Bonnaroo Festival begins (Manchester TN)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Automotive Service Professionals Week / Body Piercing Week / International Clothesline Week / Men’s Health Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SUMMER BARBECUING TIPS:
• A ‘BBQ spit’ does NOT refer to saliva.
• Singed eyelashes normally grow back in about 3 weeks.
• Cleaning the grill with your wife’s hairbrush is unsanitary.
• Always double-check that you’re not barbecuing the dog’s chew toy.
• Toss out that book you got last Father’s Day called “Cooking With Squid”.
• Shave hands and arms to prevent flame-ups.
• If it moos when you put a fork in it, slap it back on.
• Friends don’t let friends BBQ drunk! (a message from MABB, mothers against burnt burgers).
– First published in “BS” 2000.

BS MANSPEAK DICTIONARY:
What guys say [what they really mean] …
• “It’s a guy thing.” [“There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”]
• “Can I help with dinner?” [“Why isn’t it already on the table?”]
• “It would take too long to explain.” [“I have no idea how it works.”]
• “Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.” [“I can’t hear the game over the vacuum.”]
• “That’s interesting, dear.” [“Are you still talking?”]
• “I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.” [“I’ve actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.”]
• “You look terrific.” [“Please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.”]
• “Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.” [Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.]
– First published in “BS” 2010.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Have you heard? The King of Spain has abdicated. Another Juan bites the dust.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Photos of famous guys, only with Zooey Deschanel eyes. Kinda creepy.
NET: http://guyswithzooeyes.tumblr.com/

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Last month, the Cineplex movie theater chain began a new test program of selling reserved seats with more comfortable chairs, prime views, and extra leg-room. The price: $2 extra per ticket. Think it’s worth it or is it just an airline-style cash-grab?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: It takes us twice as long to do THIS on a Monday compared to any other day.
Answer: Deciding what’s for dinner.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
In a crisis, give assistance not advice.

LOOK WHO’S BS-ING NOW!
Kim Willhite @ Party 934, Rockledge FL; Steve Long @ Pride Radio, Chicago IL; Derek Blayone @ Big Dog 92.7 [CHBD] Regina SK; Jeffrey Johnson @ Classic Hits 103.3 [WRQQ] Baton Rouge LA; Sean Towers @ Classic Hits 98.7 [KSNM] Las Cruces NM; and Bobby Ferris @ The Rush 96.1FM [CKRW] Whitehorse YT.


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