Thursday, June 9, 2016 – Edition: #5749

Sweet Sheet!

★ There’s new hope for “Nashville”. Cable network CMT is said to be near a deal with the former ABC-TV drama’s producers to continue the series into a 5th season. There is also a Hulu component to the deal as the streaming service already carries the show’s previous seasons. The move could mean that fans who agonized over last week’s unexpected Season 4 cliffhanger may get some resolution. It’s not yet clear if both of the show’s stars, Hayden Panettiere and Connie Britton, would be onboard for the CMT version.
★ Johnny Depp’s ex, Amber Heard, was arrested for domestic violence against her former girlfriend in 2009, according to a new report. Documents reportedly show the actress was involved in a physical altercation at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport with her then-girlfriend Taysa Van Ree. She was reportedly booked for misdemeanor domestic violence, but prosecutors did not move forward with the case. Heard and Van Ree eventually split, and Heard went on to date Johnny Depp after meeting him on the set of 2011 movie “The Rum Diary”.
– Postmedia Network
★ And porn producers at WoodRocket, the company behind the parody films “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles” and “Strokemon”, have confirmed the studio is working on an X-rated film based on Lin-Manuel Miranda’s phenomenal Broadway hit “Hamilton”. It’s being titled … “Hamiltoe”. A spokesman says it will be “revolutionary, the first hip hop porn musical spoofing a Broadway show and celebrating a historical figure”. Well that would be a bit of a narrow niche, wouldn’t it?
– “Elite Daily”

• Bonnaroo Festival (Manchester TN) – Today through Sunday the 15th anniversary edition at Great Stage Park showcases more than 150 acts performing across 12 stages. Headliners are Pearl Jam, Dead & Company (2 sets), and the reunited LCD Soundsystem. The lineup also includes Chris Stapleton, Death Cab For Cutie, Ellie Goulding, J Cole, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Sam Hunt, X-Ambassadors and many more.
• “Guys Choice Awards” (Spike TV) – The annual event that brings together the biggest names in the world of entertainment and sports. Not the typical Hollywood awards honoring the same people viewers always see. Ben Affleck & Matt Damon receive ‘Guys Of the Decade’ award. Taped last Saturday.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Snoop Dogg (“Bush”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – GRiZ (“Say it Loud”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats (“Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Diarrhea Planet (“Turn to Gold”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Michael Franti & Spearhead (“SoulRocker”).
• Songwriters Hall of Fame (NYC) – 2016 honorees at the 47th annual Induction & Awards Dinner are Elvis Costello, the late Marvin Gaye, and Tom Petty, as well as Nile Rodgers & Bernard Edwards of Chic. Lionel Ritchie receives the highest honor, ‘Johnny Mercer Award’.
• “Streets of Compton” (A&E) – In this 3-part documentary notable names from music, acting, and sports, including The Game, NWA, Kendrick Lamar, and Richard Williams (father of Venus & Serena Williams) examine the dangerous LA suburb, which nonetheless has produced people who have changed the world.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Rappers Fat Joe, DJ Khaled, Remy Ma, French Montana, Infared.

• Ellie Goulding – Is Prince Harry secretly dating the singer? According to “The Sun”, the pair got close during the recent Audi Polo Challenge and might have even shared a kiss under a blanket.
• Justin Moore – He’s announced this week that he is launching the ‘Best Dad In the World Contest’. In honor of Fathers Day, Moore will perform a private concert at one lucky winner’s house. Fans can submit a video at Moore’s website, sharing why they have the best dad in the world. Entries are being accepted through June 19th.
• Marilyn Manson / Slipknot – Their Summer co-headlining tour of amphitheaters kicks off tonight in Salt Lake City UT and runs through August 5th in Des Moines IA.
• Wiz Khalifa – He’s been sighted partying with his ex after finalizing their divorce. Word has it they visited a strip club together on Monday night to celebrate finally settling their split … sorry, we mean celebrating their ‘love’.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Blade Runner 2” – Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, and Mackenzie Davis (“The Martian”) star in this sci-fi reboot being directed by Denis Villeneuve (“Sicario”). Plot details are being kept under wraps but it is known that the story takes place several decades after the conclusion of the 1982 original and that Ford is reprising his role as replicant hunter ‘Rick Deckard’.
• “Cadaver” – “Pretty Little Liars” star Shay Mitchell is fronting this horror thriller about a disgraced ex-cop and recovering addict who takes a job on the graveyard shift in the morgue of the hospital in which she got sober. Soon after a mysterious and brutally massacred body is delivered to the morgue, leading her to face off against an evil entity.
• “Kickboxer: Retaliation” – Mike Tyson is returning to the ring for a sequel to the 1989 Jean-Claude Van Damme film. The ex-heavyweight champ plays a violent criminal who’s forced into the world of prison brawling. Also on board: mixed martial arts fighter Paige VanZant and “Game of Thrones” actor Hafthor Julius Bjornsson (‘The Mountain’). Filming is now underway.
• “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” – Jeff Bridges is starring in the upcoming sequel to director Matthew Vaughn’s 2015 hit action-comedy “Kingsman: The Secret Service”. Despite their characters’ deaths in the first film, Colin Firth and Edward Holcroft are also returning, although in what capacity remains unknown. They’ll be joined by “Game of Thrones” star Pedro Pascal.
• “Soul Soul Soul: The Murray Murray Story” – Director Brett Ratner and veteran actor Eddie Murphy are considering teaming for this Netflix comedy movie. The fake documentary is about an iconic 1960s soul singer (named ‘Murray Murray’) who attempts to get his old band back together after a hot new hip hop artist samples his mega-hit from 1962.

There may be an easy way to limit how much wine you drink: drink from a small glass. University of Cambridge scientists have found drinking wine from large glasses encourages people to drink more wine and also to drink more quickly. In one Cambridge campus bar experiment, wine sales by volume spiked 9.4% when it was sold in large glasses, compared to standard ones. There may be a few reasons for the phenomenon: the same amount of wine appears to be less in a larger glass; and wine’s aroma, which is said to increase flavor, is reportedly greater in a large glass. (To reduce this, use a straw in the bottle.)
– “Daily Express”

As Ramadan has fallen in June, Muslims are facing the challenge of a daily 12-hour+ fast thanks to the late sunset in Summertime. What that means …
• Knowing exactly what time fast opens. To the second.
• Working in a quiet office and your stomach starts growling, and knowing you’ve got another 30 days of this to go.
• Having to mute all the #foodporn Twitter accounts for the next 30 days.
• Starting to plan your dinner at 4 pm when the fast doesn’t even break till after 9 pm.
• Putting up with non-Muslim pals asking “Wait … you can’t eat for 30 days?!”
• Thinking you can get through a 10-course meal in no time, but barely getting through your first plate.
• When that last minute before Iftari (evening meal) is always the longest. Wait for it … wait for it …
• Having to explain that Ramadan is more than just the ‘not eating’ bit.
– “Metro”

For the first time scientists have discovered that a species of fish can distinguish between human faces – something once thought possible only among primates with large, complex brains. Researchers have trained archerfish, tropical freshwater fish that spit water from their mouths, to eject water at a human face displayed on a computer monitor positioned near their tank. Researchers then flashed the face on the screen along with 44 others. In 81% of cases, the fish spit water at the face they’d initially been shown. The study suggests that at least some fish have sophisticated visual recognition capabilities. (Like that bass that’s been avoiding you for 13 summers at your favorite fishing hole.)
– “Scientific Reports”

Crimped hair is apparently back, so it seems it’s officially the ’90s again. The underlights trend was fun. We were down for icicle hair. Fine, we’d even accept hair gems. But this is too much. According to multiple sources, crimped hair is a thing once again, and we just don’t think we can take it. Sure, it looks cool. But don’t you remember how fried and dry our hair became after a few rounds of the crimper? Don’t you remember the struggle of trying to battle the frizz and deal with your crimped hair the next day? Are we expected to buy a new crimper? Are we meant to endlessly backcomb, just like we used to? Because we really don’t have the strength to deal with the tangles anymore. We’re too old for that. (What other ’90s nostalgia has gone a touch too far?)

Al Pacino’s new film “Misconduct” has flopped spectacularly at the UK box office, earning less than $150 in its opening weekend. The movie, which also stars Anthony Hopkins and Josh Duhamel, had a production budget of $11 million. While it only received a limited release in 5 Brit cinemas, it failed to fill even those. An average of 3 people saw it at each venue.


1956 [60] Patricia Cornwell, Miami FL, one of the world’s top-selling crime novelists (latest book in her series about forensic pathologist ‘Dr Kay Scarpetta’ is “Chaos”)

1961 [55] Michael J Fox, Edmonton AB, TV actor (“Michael J Fox Show” 2013-14, “Spin City” 1996-2000)/movie actor (“Back To the Future” films)/founder of Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research

1963 [53] Johnny Depp, Owensboro KY, movie star (“Alice in Wonderland” films, “Pirates Of the Caribbean” movies)

1978 [38] Matthew Bellamy, Cambridge UK, rock guitarist-keyboardist-vocalist (Muse-“Uprising”, “Supermassive Black Hole”)/actress Kate Hudson’s baby daddy

1978 [38] Michaela Conlin, Allentown PA, TV actress (‘Angela Montenegro’ on “Bones” 2005-16)/movie actress (“The Lincoln Lawyer”)

1981 [35] Natalie Portman (Hershlag), Jerusalem, Israel, movie actress (Oscar-“Black Swan”, “Thor” films)

• “Donald Duck Day”, marking the cartoon character’s debut on this day 82 years ago (1934) as a bit player in the Walt Disney cartoon “The Little Wise Hen”.

• “Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day”, honoring the popular pie that mixes the sweet and the tart. Rhubarb is a very old plant. Earliest records date back to 2700 BC in China where it was cultivated for medicinal purposes.

• “Superman Celebration”, the annual festival weekend of ‘super’ events in Metropolis, Illinois.

2006 [10] Animated movie blockbuster “Cars” debuts in theaters

2013 [03] “Kinky Boots”, with music by Cyndi Lauper & book by Harvey Fierstein, wins ‘Best Musical’ and several other Tony Awards

2007 [09] Veteran pop star George Michael becomes the first music artist to perform at the new Wembley Stadium in London, playing the first of 2 shows at the venue during his “25 Live Tour”

2003 [13] Hillary Clinton’s 576-page memoir “Living History” hits bookstores, for which she receives a $2.85 million advance

2007 [09] Top-seeded Justine Henin defeats Ana Ivanovic, becoming the 1st female to win 3 French Open championships in-a-row since Monica Seles in 1992

[Thurs] Toy Industry Day
[Fri] “The Conjuring 2”; “Now You See Me 2”; “Warcraft” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Bestival begins (Toronto ON)
[Sat] Belmont Stakes (NYC)
[Sat] Queen’s Official Birthday (UK)
[Sat] World Gin Day
[Sun] Tony Awards (CBS)
This Week Is … Automotive Service Professionals Week
This Month Is … International Childhood Cancer Awareness Month


• Finger of Blame
• Trouble Tube
• Tyranny Trunk
• Party Pendulum
• Arm of Oppression
• Flesh Axe
• Wacky Wand
• Organic Fire Hose
• It That Must Not Be Named
• External Vagina
– Thanks to Becky Mandelbaum

I think my GPS has crapped out. This morning it said: “Turn right … no, turn left … no, turn straight!”

You’re in Germany. What should you never do with your left hand while shaking hands with your right?
a. Cover the other person’s hand.
b. Keep it in a pocket. [CORRECT. Germans consider it impolite and bad etiquette.]
c. Form a fist.

✓ Self-Control … The ability to eat only 1 peanut.
✓ Eternity … The last 2 minutes of a basketball game.
✓ Autobiography … The life story of your car.
✓ Transit Company … Group that complains of bad business when all passengers get a seat.
✓ Poetry … Any writing where every line begins with a capital.
✓ Jury … 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
✓ Smart Ass … Someone who can sit on a scoop of ice cream and tell you what flavor it is.
✓ Bedroom … The place where most household accidents occur.
✓ Trapezoid … A device for catching zoids.
✓ Slowpoke … How turtles make love.

☎ Single-sex schools are better for education, yes or no?

Question: Wedding experts say THIS is the #1 thing a guy should not bring on his honeymoon.
Answer: Laptop computer.

If it takes less than 5 minutes, just do it now.

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