June 3 2019

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Monday, June 3, 2019       Edition: #6464

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Khloe Kardashian went back to high school for the night as a prom date with superfan “Narbeh”, on Friday. The duo met ahead of prom to take photos with his family before heading to the dance together. Narbeh lists his last name as “Kardashian” on Instagram and points out that Khloe follows him on Twitter. He also promises to post more pictures from their magical night together.
-TheBlast
★ The house that Tony Soprano called home is up for sale 20 years after its television debut. The 5,600-square-foot home in North Caldwell, N.J., where America’s favorite fictional mobster scooped up his morning newspaper and swam with ducks, is being listed for sale by owners Patti and Victor Recchia at a “starting price” of $3.4 million. The house, where Tony Soprano pulled into the long, curving driveway in the opening credits of the show was both a frequent filming location and the inspiration for a meticulous replica of the interiors at a Queens, N.Y. studio.  Property taxes are $34,000 per year.
-NYTimes
★ Mena Massoud is suing Tesla. The “Aladdin” star is planning to take the luxury car company to court because he says his brand-new Model 3 crashed into a tree last year due to manufacturing and design defects that he wasn’t aware of when he bought it. He also claims he suffered personal injuries as a result of the accident.
-ContactMusic
★ Jennifer Lawrence is returning to the big screen with a role in the X-Men movie “Dark Phoenix.” That’ll be her first film since announcing in February 2018 that she was taking a year off. It was an unconventional move for someone who already had four Oscar nominations — including a Best Actress win for “Silver Linings Playbook” in 2012.
-PageSix
★ Vanessa Lachey has joined the cast of “BH90210”. Lachey will not be playing herself in the meta-revival, but will instead play Camille, wife to the show’s “heightened” version of Jason Priestley. “BH90210” will see the return of seven original cast members to the franchise that launched their careers nearly 30 years ago, including Priestly, Shannen Doherty, Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling. The six-episode series centers on the original cast playing fictionalized versions of themselves. It will premiere on Aug. 7 on Fox.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zach Galifianakis, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Alessia Cara (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Harrison Ford, Richard Madden, Bazzi (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Wanda Sykes, Vanessa Bayer
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Charlize Theron, Tim Robinson, Judah & the Lion, Valerie Franco (R)
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): The Jonas Brothers, Lior Suchard (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Thomas Middleditch
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Stassi Schroeder, Cecily Strong (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Pierce Brosnan, Keely Shaye Brosnan, guest co-host Vanessa Lachey
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Sophie Turner, Adam Scott, winners of the Scripps National Spelling Bee
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Mindy Kaling, Matt Bomer, Kym Douglas, James Bay
• “Stanley Cup Final: (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Game 4: Boston Bruins at St. Louis Blues
• “90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way” (TLC): Season 1 premiere. Four Americans who have found love abroad brace to leave home permanently.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX): Season 16 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna — keeps telling people how to pronounce her name but the world never seems to listen. The Internet was once again reminded of the correct pronunciation during a video posted to Twitter by British Vogue. In the vid, Rihanna herself pronounces her name as “Ree-Anna,” while almost every other human on earth says “Re-Ah-Na.” LINK: https://twitter.com/i/status/1131449577498923008
• Miley Cyrus – Her new EP “She Is Coming” dropped on Friday, along with a slew of new merchandise including her own branded condoms. The condoms, which are sold individually for $20, include a digital download of the EP. (Now check the name of the EP again…)
• Taylor Swift – is supporting Pride month by sharing a letter she wrote to Senator Lamar Alexander, from her home state of Tennessee, asking him to support the Equality Act, which would protect LGBTQ people from discrimination in the workplace, in their homes and in schools. She also made a donation to the GLAAD advocacy group, of which she has been a longtime supporter.
• Fergie — has filed for divorce from Josh Duhamel. They announced their split in September 2017 after eight years of marriage.  They have one child, 5-year-old Axl.
• Elton John – He and the filmmakers behind his biopic “Rocketman” are furious that a Russian distributor cut more than five minutes of the film containing images of gay sex and men kissing. A statement says: “We reject in the strongest possible terms the decision to pander to local laws and censor Rocketman for the Russian market.”
• U2 — have announced a series of 2019 dates for “The Joshua Tree Tour”. They will open in Auckland, NZ on November 8 before hitting five cities in Australia, a pair of shows in Japan and (for the first time ever) dates in South Korea and Singapore in December.
• Beastie Boys – A documentary celebrating the 25th anniversary of their album “Ill Communication” has premiered on Amazon Music. The film, “Still Ill: 25 Years of the Beastie Boys’ Ill Communication”, features interviews with surviving members Michael ‘Mike D’ Diamond and Adam ‘Ad-Rock’ Horovitz.
• Kenny Rogers – The 80-year-old has been hospitalized for dehydration. Word is that he will remain under the care of doctors in Atlanta while he completes ”some physical therapy” and regains his strength. Rogers was forced to scrap the remainder of his farewell tour last year on doctor’s order.
• Turnpike Troubadours – A week after canceling another round of shows, they have announced that they are going on an “indefinite hiatus.” The band posted that they’ll be taking a break “until a time we feel that everyone is of strong mind, body and spirit and can deliver what our fans deserve.” Fans have expressed concern lately that frontman Evan Felker had been slurring his words and forgetting lyrics on stage.

iWON’T MISS IT:
Apple is expected to announce today that it is killing iTunes. Nearly two decades after its launch changed the way we buy our music forever, Apple is reportedly ready to retire the iconic product. During today’s software keynote at its annual Worldwide Developers Conference in San Jose, California, the tech giant is expected to announce that it is replacing iTunes with standalone music, television and podcast apps. The transition to specialized apps mirrors the company’s decisions with other devices. iPads and iPhones already utilize separate music, TV and podcast apps, while Macs and Macbooks still use the traditional iTunes program. The new music app is expected to offer similar functions to iTunes, but with a sleeker interface than its predecessor.
(How am I supposed to freeze up my laptop now?)
(Well, that’s one thing I can take off my list of things I hope to figure out someday!)
(Never again will I have to read the words “Sync could not be completed.”)
-RollingStone

THE TASKMASTER:
Parents of school-age children, get ready to say “No kidding!”  New research has found that over a week, parents spend the equivalent of a full day’s work just getting their kids ready and off to school. The study, compiled by Kellogg’s, looked at the workload of 2,000 parents. It found that they spend a good ten hours per week getting their school-age children ready and ushering them out the door, then driving or walking them to school. That’s on top of all their other weekly responsibilities, like yes, their paid work, looking after their younger children and keeping on top of the housework (or at least trying to). The number of tasks involved in doing all this added up to 43. That includes dressing the kids, packing lunches, plus ‘preparing for the day’ stuff like, defrosting dinner for that night and signing permission slips.
(Equal to working an extra day? No wonder Friday always seems so far away!)
(And if you have TWO school age kids…)
(43 tasks?  That’s a lot.  And it’s 44 if one of them pukes!)
-Babyology

BAD DRIVING HABITS YOU MAY NOT KNOW YOU HAVE:
➢ Turning Your Wheels While Waiting to Turn:  If you’re waiting for oncoming traffic to clear or for a pedestrian to finish crossing before turning, your wheels should be straight. Why? If you’re hit you from behind, you’ll smash into that pedestrian or be pushed into oncoming traffic.
➢ Creeping Ahead at a Light:  Those few centimetres aren’t going to get you moving any faster when the light turns green, and you’re blocking visibility for others at the intersection. You’ve likely also crept into the crossing zone, which can be hazardous for pedestrians. (I was fine until the advance green came on, and tricked me into going!)
➢ Not Looking to The Right When Turning:  Far too many drivers only look to the left to check for oncoming traffic when turning right. You can easily miss seeing a pedestrian who’s trying to cross the road. Never move your vehicle unless you’re looking in the direction you intend to go. (That pedestrian?  Yeah, that’s usually me walking my dog!)
➢ Driving Ahead First at a Two-Way Stop:  If you are at a two-way stop sign and signalling to turn left, but have to wait until cross traffic clears, and someone gets to the stop sign opposite you, and will be going straight through, THEY have the right of way. The vehicle going straight has the right-of-way, even if that driver arrived after you. (I have the feeling I could be here all day…)
➢ Giving Up Right-of-Way:  It’s not being polite to relinquish the right-of-way. Waving other drivers ahead causes confusion and can set them up for dangerous situations. (Don’t you love it when someone stops at an intersection and waves you through…when they don’t even have a stop sign?)
➢ Not Knowing How a Traffic Circle Works:  Cars in the circle have the right-of-way. If you’re entering the circle, wait until traffic clears. If you’re in the circle, keep moving and don’t stop to let someone in. Think of it as a one-way street that just happens to be round. (So THAT’s how those things work! Now, how do I turn around in one?)
➢ Hooking the Wheel:  That’s when you make a turn by grabbing the steering wheel from behind, with your palm facing toward you. You’re not in control – you can only make a quarter-turn like that – and the airbag will break your wrist if it deploys. And don’t drive with one hand on top of the wheel either; the airbag will drive your fist and whatever jewellery you’re wearing into your forehead.
(Save that move for when you get to work!)
-AutoTrader

DID YOU KNOW?

Fed up with the empty storefronts peppering their community’s main drag, the small Ontario community of Clinton is filling empty storefronts by giving away free retail space. Five business owners were selected through a “Win this Space” contest, which required them to take a training course, submit a detailed business plan and present their idea in front of a “Dragon’s Den”-style panel of judges. Their rent money for a year was raised through donations in the community.
-CBC

BS CHRONOMETER 06.03.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [88] Raúl Castro, Biran, Cuba, President of Cuba since 2008/younger brother of Fidel Castro

1946 [73] Penelope Wilton, Scarborough UK, TV actress (‘Isobel Crawley’ on “Downton Abbey” 2010-15)/movie actress (“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” films)

1967 [52] Anderson Cooper, NYC, TV news correspondent (“Anderson Cooper 360” since 2003, “60 Minutes” since 2007)

1986 [33] Rafael Nadal, Manacor, Spain, #2-ranked men’s pro tennis player (formerly #1)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Repeat Day”, an annual opportunity to do things over again … just because you want to. It’s a good excuse to ‘double-snack’ and give a re-do to other fun activities. By the way, it’s “Repeat Day” …

• “Chocolate Macaroon Day”, with a rich creamy chocolate filling and a light coating, they’re the perfect combination of textures. Chocolate Macaroon Day celebrates this delicious treat and encourages you to indulge in them!

• “National Egg Day”, a terrific source of protein and vitamin D, which makes them one of the healthiest breakfast foods. Did you know that there are more than a hundred ways to cook an egg? Some of the most popular varieties are scrambled, fried, poached, hard-boiled, sunny-side up, and over-easy.

• “National Itch Day”, Have you ever had the itch to just do something different? Today is the day to do that. Or maybe they mean this more literally. Scratch away, my itchy friends!!

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Hug your Cat Day
[Tues] National Cheese Day
[Wed] Global Running Day
[Wed] Hot Air Balloon Day
This Week Is…National Gardening Week
This Month Is…National DJ Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2009 [10] 72-year-old actor David Carradine (“Kung Fu”) dies in a Bangkok, Thailand hotel room, the victim of … ahem … “accidental autoerotic asphyxiation” (he’s found the next day)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .

2002 [17] Paul McCartney and Aretha Franklin perform at Queen Elizabeth II’s “Golden Jubilee”, celebrating the 50th year of her reign

2013 [06] Lorde releases her debut single ‘Royals’ (2014 Grammy Song of the Year)

TODAY IN SPORTS . . .
2016 [03] After a 32-year battle with Parkinson’s disease, Muhammad Ali, the heavyweight boxing champion and civil rights activist, dies of respiratory complications at age 74

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

2008 [11] Barack Obama becomes the 1st African-American to head a major party ticket for the US presidency by securing enough delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination over rival Hillary Clinton

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

2001 [18] Mel Brooks’ Broadway musical comedy “The Producers” wins a record 12 Tony Awards

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ There are 1,961,990,553,600 (1.9 trillion and change) ways to feed a shoelace through the 6 pairs of eyelets on an average shoe.
✓ Scientists believe that a thunderstorm can trigger an asthma attack, due to rain drops releasing pollen grains and wind spreading them.
✓ Tennessee Williams was born in Mississippi.
✓ Studies show that men like women who wear less makeup.
✓ The average male gets bored of a shopping trip after 26 minutes.
✓ According to a University of Oxford Study, women with bigger butts give birth to smarter kids.
-WhattheFFacts

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I’m not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

BS PHONE APPS FOR THE ELDERLY:
• Instagrammy
• Candy Crush – Butterscotch flavor
• Denture Adventure
• Get off My Lawn Dr.
• The “What did I Come Into This Room For” reminder app
• Whipper Snapchatter
• NapQuest
• The Angry Bird Special
• A YouTube of Ben-Gay
• Words With Your Remaining Friends
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS PICK-UP LINE TURN-DOWNS:

HE: “Haven’t we met before?”
SHE: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the STD clinic.”
HE: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
SHE: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
HE: “So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?”
SHE: “Unfertilized.”
HE: “So what do you do for a living?”
SHE: “Female impersonator.”
HE: “Your place or mine?”
SHE: “Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.”
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2015

BS PHONE STARTER:

What’s the strangest appliance you own?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: The average person does THIS 6 times a year.
Answer: Looks up an ex online.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

 

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