Friday, March 22, 2019 – Edition: #6420

Have Another Sheetload!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Whoa!  Bill and Ted are totally coming back, and it’s going to be gnarly! Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter made the announcement from the Hollywood Bowl in L.A. that production will begin this summer on “Bill & Ted 3: Face the Music.” The Wyld Stallions thanked fans for their support over the years and for helping push for the next installment.  It has been 28 years since “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey”.  The original, “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” came out in 1989. “Bill & Ted 3” is scheduled for release in the summer of 2020.
(It should “be excellent”.)
-TheBlast
★ Netflix’s “Bird Box” is getting a sequel called “Malorie’. The acclaimed 2018 post-apocalyptic horror follows Sandra Bullock’s character Malorie Hayes; a woman who is struggling to survive with two children after the world is threatened by an unknown energy which forces people to take their own lives when they see it. The follow-up will take place eight years after the original movie. ‘Malorie’ is set for release on October 1.
-ContactMusic
★ Mark Hamill has teased his next appearance as ‘Luke Skywalker’ in the upcoming “Star Wars: Episode IX”. He stopped by “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” on Tuesday night to promote his TV series “Knightfall”, and during the chat he revealed that the make-up department glued a fake medieval beard over the top of his natural beard, which he had to keep because of “something else.”
-Canoe
★ Mindy Kaling is creating a new comedy series for Netflix. She will reteam with her “Mindy Project” Lang Fisher and executive producer Howard Klein for the coming-of-age story, which will be inspired her own childhood, and is described as an exploration of the complicated life of a modern-day first generation Indian American teenage girl. Kaling tweeted: “Get ready for lots of relatable, awkward teen moments. More coming soon.”
-ContactMusic
★ After the tragedy in New Zealand, talent manager and writer Guy Oseary started a GoFundMe page for the victims and their families. Set at the goal of $100,000, the fundraiser has surpassed that amount and they hope it will keep on growing. Many celebrities and public figures have given to the cause including Amy Schumer, Ben Stiller, Chris Rock and Madonna.
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Matt LeBlanc, Winston Duke, Tomberlin (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Norman Reedus, Abbi Jacobson, Ilana Glazer, Mikaela Shiffrin, James Veitch
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Gayle King, Pamela Adlon, Mumford & Sons (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sen. Bernie Sanders, J.K. Simmons, Jon Epcar (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Cobie Smulders, Sebastian Stan, Joel Kim Booster (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Maddie Corman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Garth Brooks, Keegan-Michael Key, Christina Hendricks, Backstreet Boys
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ben Stiller, Offset, Travis Scott, Jake & Alice Tapper
• “NCAA Basketball Tournament” (CBS): Tennessee vs. Colgate in a first-round game. From Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio.
• “The Dirt” (NETFLIX): Mötley Crüe biopic based on the band’s own joint autobiography of the same name.

SATURDAY-
• “American Idol” (ABC): Auditions continue in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho; Louisville; and Los Angeles.
• “Figure Skating: World Championships” (NBC): Ladies’ and men’s free skates from the World Championships in Saitama City, Japan.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Halsey hosts and performs.

SUNDAY-
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kim Zolciak-Biermann
• “Action” (SHOWTIME): Four-part series examines the sports gambling industry.
• “Into the Badlands (AMC):  The second half of Season 3 will bring the post-apocalyptic martial arts saga to a conclusion.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande – is among the artists confirmed to headline Lollapalooza 2019. Childish Gambino, Twenty One Pilots and The Strokes will also co-headline. Other notable new additions to the bill include Kacey Musgraves, Lil Wayne, Meek Mill, Hozier, 21 Savage and Death Cab for Cutie. The Chicago festival will take place August 1-4.
• Paramore – Singer Hayley Williams says that while the band is inactive, she would “never want to put out a press release that says we’re over.”  She says the band isn’t going anywhere, and “As long as we’re friends, the band just is.”
• Robert Plant, Santana and Greta Van Fleet — will headline one of the 50th anniversary shows commemorating the Woodstock festival this summer. Also performing Aug. 16-18 in Watkins Glen, New York, about 115 miles (185 kilometres) northwest of the original site: Jay-Z, Dead & Company, the Killers Miley Cyrus, Imagine Dragons, the Black Keys and Chance the Rapper.
• Cyndi Lauper – Her “She’s So Unusual” is among the 25 recordings which will be added to the Library of Congress’ National Recording Registry this year.  Also being honored for 2019: Jay-Z’s “The Blueprint,” Neil Diamond’s ‘Sweet Caroline’, Earth, Wind and Fire’s ‘September’,” Ritchie Valens’ ‘La Bamba’, and a box set featuring the music of “Schoolhouse Rock!”
• Prince — The NBA’s Minnesota Timberwolves will cap off their final Prince-inspired “City Edition” game by offering attendees of their April 5 game vs. Miami an exclusive seven-inch vinyl version of Prince’s ‘Rock and Roll Is Alive! (And It Lives in Minneapolis)’.
• Mötley Crüe – With their biopic “The Dirt” set to air today, Nikki Sixx says that while it’s a given that if you have a history like they do, “Everybody thinks you’re an animal,” he says he stands “100 percent behind” the #MeToo movement.  Sixx says, “I think we’re in a very great time for equality and we’ve got room to grow.”
• Ted Nugent — has announced 13 new U.S. dates for his the “Music Made Me Do It Again!” tour, which runs from mid-July through the end of August. Quote: “With master groovemonsters Greg Smith and Jason Hartless at my side, the music makes us do it like animals every night, every gig, every song, every lick.”
• Tanya Tucker — is launching her own line of tequila, called “Cosa Salvaje”. The name, which means “wild thing,” is one Tucker says is applicable to her own life: “I used to be a wild thing, now I just drink a wild thing!”
• Ashley McBryde – has earned a Daytime Emmy nomination.  She was given the nod in the “Outstanding Musical Performance in a Daytime Program” category for her renditions of ‘Girl Goin’ Nowhere’ and ‘American Scandal’ on CBS This Morning Saturday.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Us” (R-Rated, Horror):  A family’s serenity turns to chaos when a group of doppelgängers begins to terrorize them. (Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke)
• “Dragged Across the Concrete” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  Once two overzealous cops get suspended from the force, they must delve into the criminal underworld to get their proper compensation. (Jennifer Carpenter, Mel Gibson)
• “Gloria Bell” (R-Rated, Comedy/Romance, Wide):  A free-spirited divorcée who likes to spend her days at a straight-laced office job and her nights on the dance floor, finds herself thrust into an unexpected new romance, filled with the joys of budding love…and the complications. (Julianne Moore, Alanna Ubach)
• “Triple Threat” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  A hit contract is taken out on a billionaire’s daughter intent on bringing down a major crime syndicate. A down and out team of mercenaries must take on a group of professional assassins and stop them before they kill their target. (Celina Jade, Scott Adkins)
• “Hotel Mumbai” (Not Rated, Drama, Limited):  The true story of the Taj Hotel terrorist attack in Mumbai. Hotel staff risk their lives to keep everyone safe as people make unthinkable sacrifices to protect themselves and their families. (Dev Patel, Armie Hammer)

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
☞ Law-breaking turned into breakdancing at the end of a Southern California vehicle pursuit. TV news helicopters were overhead Tuesday night when a suspect pursued by the California Highway Patrol finally surrendered, but broke out into a 10-second dance before being handcuffed. After a CHP cruiser ended a high-speed chase by bumping the suspect vehicle, causing it to spin out, the driver got out with hands up but did not appear to be fully complying with officers pointing guns at him.  As the scene became illuminated by a law enforcement helicopter’s spotlight, the driver suddenly busted a move before being busted.
(Maybe he was just dizzy?)
-Canoe
☞ An Oklahoma woman was arrested after authorities say she used a T-shirt gun to launch drugs, cellphones and other contraband over a prison fence.  The incident prompted a lockdown at the North Fork Correctional Unit in Sayre, west of Oklahoma City.  Kerri Jo Hickman was arrested after the T-shirt gun and another package were discovered in her vehicle.  A local TV station reported that the container that was launched Sunday contained cellphones, ear buds, phone chargers, methamphetamine, digital scales, marijuana and tobacco.
(What?  No file?)
-Canoe
☞ The Russian city of Krasknoyask recently hosted the country’s first ever amateur face-slapping championship, which had participants slap each other across the face until one of them was knocked out.  The controversial event was held during the Siberian Power Show March 16 and 17. A similar competition took place last year, in Moscow, but it featured only professional athletes competing for the unofficial title of most heavy-handed face slapper. This time, anyone willing to engage in some manly face slapping was invited to sign up. Most of the participants were just random guys who had come to attend the power show and decided to try something new.
(Why can’t they just drink vodka until they’re knocked out like everyone else?)
-OddityCentral

ODDEST TEAM NAMES IN THE 2019 NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT:
➠ Minnesota Golden Gophers
➠ Virginia Tech Hokies (a ‘hokie’ is a wild turkey)
➠ Maryland Terrapins (a turtle)
➠ Syracuse Orange
➠ St. Mary’s/Iona Gaels (one who speaks Gaelic)
➠ Saint Louis Billikins (charm doll)
➠ UC Irvine Anteaters
➠ Vermont Catamounts
➠ Purdue Boilermakers (a shot of whiskey)
➠ Oklahoma Sooners (energetic, can-do individuals)
(We don’t have the “TCU Horned Frogs” this year, but still some good ones!)
– Sourced from ESPN

DID YOU KNOW?
Swiss researchers say that exposing cheese to round-the-clock music could give it more flavor — and hip hop might be better than Mozart.  Nine wheels of Emmental cheese weighing 10 kilos (22 pounds) each were placed in separate wooden crates last September to test the impact of music on flavor and aroma. The cheese was exposed 24 hours a day to A Tribe Called Quest’s hip hop track ‘We Got it From Here’, Mozart’s ‘Magic Flute’ opera or Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’. Others were exposed to techno or ambient music, and another to no music at all.  The resulting hip hop sample was found to be the strongest of these in terms of smell and taste.
-HuffingtonPost

BS CHRONOMETER 03.22.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [88] William Shatner, Montréal QC, TV actor (“Boston Legal” 2004-08, “Star Trek” 1966-69)/movie actor (“Malevolent”, “Miss Congeniality”)

1948 [71] (Sir) Andrew Lloyd Webber, London UK, music composer/stage producer (Tony Awards for “Phantom Of the Opera” and “Cats”, Tony & Academy Awards for “Evita”)

1948 [71] Wolf Blitzer, Augsberg, Germany, CNN news anchor since 1990 (“The Situation Room”, “Wolf”)

1952 [67] Bob Costas, Queens NY, NBC-TV sports anchor 1980-2018 (“Football Night in America”, Olympic Games, Major League Baseball, etc.)/multiple Emmy Award-winner/currently employed by MLB Network

1971 [48] Keegan-Michael Key, Southfield MI, comedian/actor (“Key and Peele” 2012-2015, “SuperMansion” 2015-2017)

1972 [47] Elvis Stojko, Newmarket, ON, retired figure skater (three-time World champion, two-time Olympic silver medalist, and seven-time Canadian champion)

1976 [43] Reese Witherspoon, New Orleans LA, movie actress (“Legally Blonde”, Oscar-“Walk the Line”) COMING UP…”Legally Blonde 3″, 2020

1982 [37] Constance Wu, Richmond VA, TV actress (‘Jessica Huang’ on “Fresh Off the Boat” since 2015)/movie actress (“Crazy Rich Asians”)

SATURDAY-
Ric Ocasek (The Cars) is 70; Damon Albarn (Gorillaz) is 51; Reggie Watts (“The Late Late Show” bandleader) is 47; Randall Park (“Fresh off the Boat”) is 45; Keri Russell (“The Americans”) is 43; Michelle Monaghan (“Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”); Blogger Perez Hilton is 41; Brett Eldredge (‘Drunk on Your Love’) is 33

SUNDAY-
Fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger is 68; Jim Parsons (“The Big Bang Theory”) is 46; Alyson Hannigan (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 45; Peyton Manning (NFL Quarterback) is 43; Jessica Chastain (“Gravity”) is 42

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “As Young As You Feel Day”, a day to quit wallowing in worry about your chronological age and start feeling peppy. (“Peppy”? What are you, 100?)

• “International Goof-Off Day”, a day to relax, be yourself, and generally just goof off. In other words … a regular day.

• “Sing-Out Day”, a day to let fly with a special tune to let someone know how you feel.

• “World Water Day”, a UN observance since 1992 emphasizing the worldwide necessity of potable drinking water and proper wastewater treatment.

• “Bavarian Crepes Day”, crepes are a delicious, very thin pancake-like dessert, typically made from wheat flour or buckwheat flour, then filled, rolled and then often topped with a glaze, fruit, chocolate or whipped cream.

SATURDAY-
• “Chip & Dip Day”. While North Americans might pick ‘Sour Cream & Onion’ or ‘Salt & Vinegar’ chips, the top flavors for ‘crisps’ in the UK include ‘Roast Beef & Mustard’ and ‘Smoked Ham & Pickle’. The Swiss like ‘Paprika’, while Thais choose ‘Prawn’, and in Egypt ‘Kebab’ is popular. The best dip? ‘Hot Bean with Jalapenos’ … or is it?
• “Puppy Day”, the idea being to save 10,000 homeless puppies in a single day by encouraging adoptions at dog pounds and rescue centers.
NET: http://nationalpuppyday.com
• “Cuddly Kitten Day”, whether you are a cat person or dog person, today serves as a reminder to pamper your pet. Cuddle and snuggle with your beloved, furry friend. Shower him or her with extra love, a few extra treats or a brand-new toy
• “World Meteorological Day”, an annual UN observance to promote understanding of how weather, climate, and water affect us all. For one thing, it seems to be our favorite topic of conversation. What overused weather clichés should be dumped?

SUNDAY-
• “Chocolate Covered Raisins Day” … but not the kind you find in your kid’s bunny cage.
• “World Tuberculosis Day”, to build public awareness that TB remains an epidemic in much of the world, causing the deaths of about 1.6 million each year, mostly in Third World nations.
• “Cocktail Day”, cocktails are drinks typically comprised of wine or a distilled beverage (such as whiskey, brandy, vodka, rum, or tequila) and mixed with other tasty ingredients such as cream, soda, liqueurs, fruit, juices, honey, beer, etc. (and if you don’t drink, celebrate the movie instead!)

ON THIS DATE . . .
2016 [03] 64th mayor of Toronto ON, the entertaining crack-smoking Rob Ford, dies of cancer at age 46

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [16] Britney Spears’ girl-power flick “Crossroads” earns 8 nominations at the 23rd Golden Raspberry Awards for the year’s worst movies (she co-wins ‘Worst Actress’ with Madonna for “Swept Away”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009 [10] Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” becomes a #1 hit in over 20 countries

2013 [06] My Chemical Romance announces their breakup after 12 years

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [22] USA’s Tara Lipinski becomes ‘Youngest Women’s World Figure Skating Champion’ at age 14 years, 10 months

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The extinct Kumimanu biceae penguin stood six feet tall and weighed close to 200 pounds.
✓ Facebook’s blue color scheme is due to Mark Zuckerberg’s colorblindness.  Blue is the color he sees best.
✓ Lenny Kravitz and Al Roker are cousins.
✓ French poodles aren’t French.  They are believed to have been bred in Germany.
✓ The earliest pacemakers required a wall outlet.
✓ Yawning cools your brain.
-BestLifeOnline

BS SIGNS YOU’RE FAILING DRIVERS ED:
• As soon as you get behind the wheel, your instructor automatically inflates his airbag.
• You’ve worn out 7 brake pedals … in 2 lessons.
• To save time, the police have ordered traffic tickets with your name pre-printed on them.
• Other student drivers in your car are strongly encouraged to take Valium.
• You’ve single-handedly advanced public acceptance of driverless vehicles by 6.5 years.
• Several cab companies have already offered you a job.

Best of BS . . .
BS USELESS INVENTIONS:
• The water-proof towel
• Solar powered flashlight
• Submarine screen door
• A book on how to read
• Inflatable dart board
• A dictionary index
• Ejector seat in a helicopter.
• Powdered water
• Pedal-powered wheelchair
• Water-proof tea bag
-KillSomeTime, First published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
What if every country has ninjas, but we only know about the ones from Japan because they’re the worst?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What TV advertising jingle do you remember from your childhood?  Sing it!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  20 years ago, people did THIS an average of 3 times a day.  Now?  One or fewer.  What is it?
Answer:  Make a phone call.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.