Monday, March 7, 2005        Edition: #2984
There’s No BS Like Show BS …

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
• TONIGHT Mark Burnett’s new boxing survivor show “The Contender” featuring Sylvester Stallone debuts on NBC-TV. “Hollywood Reporter” says it’s the most expensive reality show ever produced. After tonight and Thursday’s episodes, the show will settle into a Sunday evening time slot. The show’s finalé will be staged at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. This is the show from which 23-year-old contender Najai Turpin committed suicide. (The first case of ‘extreme marketing’?)
• 18-year-old singer/actress/Hollywood brat Lindsay Lohan is denying reports that she’s anorexic, insisting to “Teen Hollywood” that her recent weight loss is the result of hormonal changes as she grows up and becomes a woman. (The throwing up is just a long-time reaction to her idiotic father.)
• Former “Sex & The City” star Kristin Davis is reportedly seeing comedic actor Steve Martin, who’s almost 20 years her senior. Pals of the pair tell “Daily Star” that 59-year-old Martin is so smitten, he threw a surprise party for her 40th birthday LAST MONTH.
• “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher has been signed for a 2nd season on the hit show, with a 750% raise! World Entertainment News Network reports she earned just $38,000 per episode for the first season but she will pocket a staggering $285,000 per episode for the second. She and the show’s other headliners have also been given a little reward bonus – a Mini car.
• Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has bought her son Brooklyn an unusual present for his 6th birthday – a pair of diamond earrings worth circa $47,500. “Daily Dish” says they apparently match his soccer-star father David Beckham’s $142,500 pair. (Hopefully they’ve also set up a trust fund for the lad … to pay for future long-term therapy.)
• Which do you think is true? “National Enquirer” reports that Dick Clark is paralyzed and barely able to speak after suffering TWO strokes in December. But “E! Online” quotes Clark’s rep as saying the 75-year-old TV host/producer is walking and talking again, though his recovery has been slower than expected. The spokesman denies he’s suffering from depression and wants to die. (Either way, the upside is – he’s unlikely to develop another “Celebrity Boxing” TV special!)
• Hollywood couple Katie Holmes (“First Daughter”) and Chris Klein (“American Pie”) have split up, 14 months after announcing their engagement. A spokeswoman says they intend to ‘stay friends’. (And she managed to say it without  cracking up!)
– “US Weekly”
• 2005′S SEXIEST STARS IN HOLLYWOOD:
MALE …
1. Brad Pitt
2. Johnny Depp
3. Jude Law
4. Matthew McConaughey
5. Colin Farrell
FEMALE …
1. Angelina Jolie
2. Halle Berry
3. Charlize Theron
4. Uma Thurman
5. Jennifer Lopez
– New ranking in “Star Magazine”.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Backstreet Boys – They’ll play a string of club dates as a warmup for the JULY release of their first studio album in 5 years.
• Bob Dylan – TONIGHT he kicks off a tour in Seattle WA in which he’ll co-headline with country legend Merle Haggard.
• Christina Aguilera – Rumor has it after boyfriend Jordan Bratman proposed FEBRUARY 11th, she later ‘upsized’ the engagement ring to a 5-carat diamond.
• Janet Jackson – She’s seeking a restraining order against a NYC man she claims has been ‘harassing and stalking’ her for 9 years,
• Justin Timberlake – He says he only agreed to play Elton John in a new movie if it was a warts-and-all depiction of Elton’s life, including his drug-fueled days in the ‘70s. Justin first played Elton in the video for “This Train Don’t Stop There Any More”.
• Kenny Chesney – Thanks to tearing a ligament in his ankle after falling down the stairs in his Nashville TN home, he’s had to postpone the first week of his “Somewhere in the Sun” tour, including concerts in St Paul MN, Fargo ND and Green Bay WI. When he does get back on stage, his ankle will have to be taped up and braced under his boot.
• Limp Bizkit – A week after that sex video starring Fred Durst began circulating on the Internet, he’s filed an $80-million lawsuit against Websites that posted the material which was purportedly stolen from his home PC.

SCARIEST DAY OF THE WEEK:     
The stress of returning to work on MONDAY morning can trigger a dangerous increase in blood pressure, according to a new study from Tokyo Women’s Medical University. This may explain why there are more deaths from heart attacks and strokes on MONDAY morning than at any other time of the week. In fact, there are 20% more heart attacks on Mondays than on any other day. Here’s the good news: An early morning peak in blood pressure is probably a normal part of the body’s 24-hour rhythm and is not likely to be a problem for healthy people. (However, just to be safe … best to call in sick!)
– BBC News

WHAT’S IN A NAME?
Chocolate-maker Nestle is experiencing a boom in the sales of its Kit Kat chocolate bars in Japan, where students studying for exams have been feverishly buying them up in order to obtain the good luck the candy supposedly brings. Nestle has had trouble keeping the chocolate bars stocked ever since entering the Japanese market, due to the similarities between the phrase ‘Kit Kat’ and the Japanese phrase ‘Kitto Katsu’, which traditionally has been used by students to wish each other luck before important exams. (Good luck at your next dental checkup, kids!)
– “Curious Times”

TASTY TUNES:
A 27-year-old Swiss musician has the world’s most extreme case of ‘synaesthesia’ [sin-as-THEES-ya], the phenomenon whereby hearing music triggers a response in other sensory organs. The woman, who chooses to remain anonymous, not only sees colors when she hears music but also gets various tastes on her tongue according to the notes she hears. For instance, an F-sharp causes her to see the color violet while a C makes her see red; and she experiences tastes ranging from sour-and-bitter to low-fat cream and mown grass, based on the tone intervals in music. Zurich University neuro-psychologists have been astounded while studying her extremely rare disorder … or would it be a gift? (Like the famous line from “When Harry Met Sally” … I’ll have what she‘s having.)
– “Nature”

BS AMAZING FACT:
A 3-year-old boy in Leeds, England has become the youngest member of the smart-ass group Mensa after finishing a series of tests run by psychologists from the University of York. The tests show the boy has an IQ of 137, putting him in the top 2% of the population. Of the international group’s 25,500 members worldwide, fewer than 30 are under the age of 10.

AND WE QUOTE:
“Going to the bathroom becomes a major chore, absolutely.”
– 50 Cent telling “Blender” magazine part of the payback for being shot 9 times.

THE BULL SHEET 03.07.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [63] Michael Eisner, Mt Kisko NY, Walt Disney CEO who was forced to step down as Chairman of the Board after receiving an unprecedented rebuke from shareholders in 2004

1956 [49] Bryan Cranston, LA CA, TV actor (the father ‘Hal’ on “Malcolm In The Middle” since 2000)

1971 [34] Rachel Weisz, London UK, movie actress (“Constantine”, “The Mummy 1 & 2″)

1980 [25] Laura Prepon, Watchung NJ, TV actress (‘Donna Pinciotti’ on “That ‘70s Show” since 1998)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Cereal Day”, a day share in the delights of crunchy ‘n crispy breakfast cereals. To celebrate this momentous day, we’ll name a cereal and you try to name it’s advertising mascot, okay?. Let’s start with a really easy one …
• Trix [The Trix Rabbit]
• Lucky Charms [LC Leprechaun]
• Rice Krispies [Snap! Crackle! and Pop!]
• Frosted Flakes [Tony the Tiger]
• Kellogg’s Corn Flakes [a rooster named Cornelius]
• Froot Loops [Toucan Sam]
• Sugar Crisp [Sugar Bear]
• Cap’n Crunch [well duh ... Cap'n Crunch]
• Nabisco Cream of Wheat [a chef named Rastus]

TODAY is “Stop Bad Service Day”, a day to encourage better customer service by complaining when it’s not up to snuff. (Seems so negative! Why not have listeners call in stories about outstanding service … way beyond the call of duty?)

THIS WEEK in Alaska, the 89th annual “Nenana Ice Classic” gets underway with the building of a 26-foot tripod on the frozen Tanana River. Since 1917, when the first wooden tripod was built by bored engineers, people have been betting on the day and date of the spring breakup. Because of the high stakes involved ($800 in 1917, now over $300,000) the ice is closely watched by lottery participants. Someone who invests in a $2-prediction is going to get rich, likely around the end of April. LAST YEAR – April 24th, 2004 at precisely 2:16 pm.
PHONER: 907-832-5446
NET: http://www.nenanaakiceclassic.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1955 [50] 1st “Emmy Awards” to be televised coast-to-coast, with Steve Allen as host

1965 [40] 1st “Peanuts” TV special, “A Boy Named Charlie Brown”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1876 [129] Alexander Graham Bell patents the ‘Telephone’, and 3 days later makes 1st phone call (unfortunately gets a busy signal)

1911 [94] 1st ‘Coin-Operated Locker’, invented by Willis Farnsworth of Petaluma CA (thereby giving movie bad guys a place to stash their loot)

1933 [72] Unemployed engineer Charles B Darrow of Germantown PA ‘invents’ board game  “Monopoly” (although some say he stole the idea from earlier games including Lizzie J Magie’s “The Landlord’s Game”, created in 1904)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Aunts Day
[Tues] International Women’s Day
[Tues] Plant a Flower Day
[Wed] Dan Rather retires as “CBS Evening News” anchor
[Wed] Barbie’s Birthday
[Wed] “Canadian Idol” auditions (London ON)
[Thurs] Osama Bin Laden’s birthday
[Fri] “The Passion of the Christ” re-released in movie theaters

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Celebrate Your Name Week
Save Your Vision Week
Read an E-Book Week
Help Someone See Week
School Breakfast Week
Newspaper in Education Week
Cheerleading Week
Procrastination Week
Universal Women’s Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
THE WEEKEND’S WACKIEST TABLOID HEADLINES:

• “Docs Remove Unicycle From 590-Pound Clown’s Butt!”
• “Hero Chihuahua Bites Off Grizzly’s Nuts to Save Mistress!”
• “Celebrity Hunk Insures His Chest Hair for $1 Million!”
• “12 Great Tips for a Sizzling Night of Romance – Alone!”
• “Muscle Implants Get You Buff Without Exercise!”
• “Great News for Beer Drinkers … Suds Make You Smarter!”
– “Weekly World News”

BEST ALL-TIME MOVIE BAD-GUYS:
1. ‘Michael Corleone’ (Al Pacino) – “The Godfather”
2. ‘Tommy DeVito’ (Joe Pesci) – “Goodfellas”
3. ‘Max Cady’ (Robert De Niro) – “Cape Fear”
4. ‘Hans Gruber’ (Alan Rickman) – “Die Hard”
5. ‘The Joker’ (Jack Nicholson) – “Batman”
– Sky Movies poll.

WHICH IS WORSE?
Here’s a rapid-fire on-air poll or survey to use on your Website.
• Hairy backs on men OR Hairy legs on women?
• Sweaty foot odor OR Sweaty armpit odor?
• Flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant OR Being unemployed?
• Changing your baby’s diaper OR Changing your grandpa’s diaper?
• Wearing too much cologne OR Not wearing any deodorant?
• Eating a worm OR Swallowing a goldfish?
• An ear full of wax OR A nose full of hair?
• A fire engine’s horn OR Fingernails on a blackboard?
• Catching your parents ‘doing it’ OR Getting caught ‘doing it’ by your parents?
• Pit stains OR skid marks?

BS TRIVIA:
Q: What do you call the offspring of an ox?
A: An ox cannot have offspring … it’s a bull that’s been castrated.  

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which movie star has the most oversized head for his body?
a. John Travolta (gigantic head on gigantic, bloated body)
b. Leo DiCaprio (gigantic head on spindly, little body with teensy, tiny feet)
c. Tobey Maguire (gigantic head with froggy eyes that are the envy of Susan Sarandon)

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Some people say that I’m superficial … but that’s just on the surface.
• Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you’re average, you will do THIS 78 times this year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Use an ATM.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success is not permanent. Neither is failure.

 


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