Thursday, March 4, 2004        Edition: #2738
March Forth!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT and for the next 5 Thursdays, NBC-TV is running favorite “Friends” episodes, as voted for by fans online (the all-time most popular episode airs APRIL 8th) . . . “Head of State” funnyman Chris Rock is set to star in a semi-autobiographical FOX-TV pilot about his experiences growing up ‘on the nicest block in the ghetto’ (Brooklyn’s Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood) . . . “The Passion of the Christ” composer John Debney claims that Satan’s image kept appearing on his computer screen while he was trying to score the music (wow, that’s creepy weed, dude) . . . Word has it Paris Hilton is hoping to launch a recording career with a self-penned tune about a girl who gets screwed over by a guy, fittingly titled “Screwed”(she already made the video) . . . “Italian Job” star Mark Wahlberg is set to buy the once trendy NYC nightclub Nell’s, formerly owned by Nell Campbell (“Rocky Horror Picture Show”), and will try to reintroduce a glamorous image to the former celeb hangout . . . Reports say ‘Best Supporting Actress’ winner Renee Zellweger burst into tears after it appeared her Oscar statuette had been stolen from her car – until she realized she was searching in the wrong vehicle (duh!) . . . And wags are saying that 28-year-old actress Charlize Theron will now be able to command close to $20 million per film thanks to her ‘Best Actress’ Oscar (don’t be fooled – it’s ALWAYS about the money).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Says she becomes an entirely different person on-stage and the sexy singer you see performing is far removed from the real her. She’s even given her pop diva side its own name – ‘Sasha’.
• Eric Clapton – Says he will no longer perform 2 of his best-known songs – “Tears in Heaven” and “My Father’s Eyes”, because they cause him too much pain.
• Janet Jackson – A life-size statue of Mickey Mouse costumed as her has been dumped from a Disney World display of celebrity-inspired statues in celebration of Mickey’s 75th birthday.
• Elton John – Will wed his longtime companion David Furnish (born Toronto) in England after waiting on current legislation governing civil unions to become law.
• Lionel Richie – His 37-year-old estranged wife Diane Richie has gone to court to demand no less than $300,000 PER MONTH in support payments, claiming that as a couple they led an ‘extraordinary extravagant lifestyle’ … or at least did for 6 years.
• Jessica Simpson – Has emerged as the clear frontrunner in the race for the role of ‘Daisy Duke’ in the upcoming bigscreen version of “The Dukes of Hazzard”.
• Justin Timberlake – Will make his movie debut playing a reporter in the drama “Edison”, starring Kevin Spacey and soon to shoot in Vancouver.
• Randy Travis – Sings the title track “America Will Always Stand” on an album of Civil War-themed country songs set for release in MAY. The first collection of original material ever released by Time-Life Music will also feature Ricky Skaggs & Lee Ann Womack.

FUTURE FILMS:
“Spider-Man 2″ doesn’t even open until JULY 2 and already plans are underway for “Spider-Man 3″ for a likely 2007 release . . . Oscar-winner Charlize Theron has the lead in “Aeon Flux”, the story of an assassin in a world 400 years in the future . . . A wedding scene has been axed from “Jersey Girl “ (opening MARCH 19th) because the director thinks audiences might find the marriage of characters played by Ben Affleck & J-Lo ‘distracting’ (if not hilarious) . . . Sandra Bullock will star in the romantic comedy “Prime”, the story of a successful 30-something who inadvertently falls for her therapist’s 20-something son . . . Ridley Scott will direct a movie version of Peter Mayle’s upcoming novel, “A Good Year”, about a banker who moves to southern France after inheriting a vineyard (wow, it’s “Under the Provence Sun”) . . . Christian Slater will play a financial hot-shot and Selma Blair his eager new recruit in the upcoming Wall Street thriller “The Deal” (a bigscreen version of “The Apprentice”?).

WORK HARD, LIVE LONGER:
Here’s a look at what you have to look forward to. An Australian study has tracked 3,000 people aged 60-plus, recording their health and fitness, psychological condition and lifestyle and made some interesting discoveries …
• Over the 13-year study period, fully 93% of the seniors were admitted to hospital at one time or another, an average of 45 days each.
• While women still live longer on average, they have a higher level of disability than men.
• Blue collar workers seem to develop a certain hardiness, making them more likely to outlive their white collar counterparts.
Source: “The Age”

STEAMING PANTS:
Heat-generating fiber developed by Japanese textile manufacturers is warming up the underwear market. The new fiber creates the opposite reaction to heat evaporation – ‘absorption heat’, whereby its heat-generating ability increases in proportion to its moisture-absorbing ability. Thus the more moisture it absorbs, the more heat it generates. (That’s why my Great Uncle ‘Leaky Lou’ stays so warm all winter.)
Source: Fibre2Fashion.com

HEY LOOK, I’M ON TV!
This is such an obvious idea, why didn’t someone think of it earlier? Philips Electronics is set to market a TV set that becomes a mirror when it’s turned off. The MiraVision 2500 wide-screen LCD is covered with a thin semi-reflective film, mounted in a picture frame. When the screen is switched on, it’s a regular TV. When it’s off, the surface behaves like an ordinary mirror. But what if you want to watch some tube while brushing your hair? Then you can select ‘picture-in-mirror’ mode, which displays a small TV image in the corner!
Source: “New Scientist”

SAY WHAT?
Asian manufacturers have found that consumers thinks it’s cool to have clothing with English slogans – even if they don’t make any sense. Actual slogans recently spotted …
• “Socks For Street – Please Take Pleasure in Street Taste.”
• “Fight Peaceful!”
• “You Are the Young and the Hopeless”
• “Plant With Too Much Power”
• “Swarms of Winter Gnats Are Still Around”
• “Toilet Love!”
Now if we could just find a site that explains what oriental characters on Western clothes mean!
NET: http://www.engrish.com

NO ROUGHAGE, NO BS:
It’s estimated that about 20% of the population is now on some form of low-carb diet. According to laxative makers, that’s why about a third of them are experiencing changes in … regularity. (Wow, maybe all these fad followers will eventually bloat up and explode!)
Source: “Social Studies”

THE WOMEN OF SENATOR JOHN KERRY:
The Democratic presidential candidate has a history of high-profile companions …
• Catherine Oxenberg – former “Dynasty” actress and member of the Yugoslav Royal Family.
• Morgan Fairchild – former “Falcon Crest” actress turned Old Navy pitch-person.
• Patti Davis – former President Ronald Reagan’s daughter.
• Michelle Phillips, former “Knots Landing” actress & former pop singer with the Mamas & Papas.
• Emma Gilbey – British gin heiress.
• Teresa Heinz – ketchup heiress whom he married.
Source: “NY Post”

FOR THE RECORD:
• Thunder Bay ON cycling enthusiast Brad Graham has finally received word he’s made it into the “Guinness Book of Records” for the ‘world’s tallest ride-able bicycle’. The big bike stands a little over 4 meters (15 feet) high. He made his first 15-minute ride on it LAST SUMMER.
• 55-year-old Dale Webster of Bodega Bay, California has made good on a vow to surf every day for 28 years. His 10,407-day ride began in 1976. He even surfed on his wedding day and the day his daughter was born.

THE BULL SHEET 03.04.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [50] Catherine O’Hara, Toronto ON, movie actress (“A Mighty Wind”, “Home Alone 1 & 2″)/former TV comedian (“SCTV” 1976-81)  UP NEXT: The comedy film “Surviving Christmas” with Ben Affleck, Christina Applegate & James Gandolfini, opening NOVEMBER 19th.

1958 [46] Patricia Heaton, Bay Village OH, $6-million-a-year TV actress (‘Debra Barone’ on “Everybody Loves Raymond” since 1996)  FACTOID: CBS-TV continues to hope TV’s #2 sitcom (after “Friends”) will return next season, but admits a series finalé has already been written … just in case.

1971 [33] Fergal Lawler, Limerick IRE, pop musician (Cranberries-“Linger”, “Promises”)

1971 [33] Jason Sellers, Gilmer TX, country singer (“A Matter Of Time”, “Strawberry Girl”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “International Scrapbooking Day”, honoring the hobby that’s experienced a huge surge in popularity recently. More than just saving mementoes, real scrapbooking involves sorting, cropping, pasting, and writing captions for chosen pictures. As an indication of how big it’s become – professional ‘scrapbooking kits’ are now on the market, and the hobby has it’s own magazine and, of course, Website …
NET: http://scrapbooking.com

TODAY is “National Poundcake Day”, honoring the hearty dessert that sits in your stomach like a lead anchor. (Coincidently, tomorrow is ‘Pound Salt Day’.)

TODAY is “Hug a GI Day”. (‘Cause you might be saying goodbye.)

SATURDAY the famous 1,049-mile “Iditarod Dog Sled Race” from Anchorage to Nome AK begins mushing. So what do you feed 16 hungry dogs during what may be the world’s toughest race?
PHONER: 907-376-5155 (Iditarod Trail Committee-Wasilla AK)
NET: http://www.iditarod.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1952 [52] Hollywood stars (future prez) Ronald Reagan & Nancy Davis get hitched

1994 [10] Canadian actor John Candy dies of heart failure at 43 while filming “Wagons East” in Mexico

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2001 [03] Glenn Hughes, the ‘Man in Leather’ with ‘70s disco group the Village People, dies at age 50

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1793 [211] George Washington’s 2nd inauguration features shortest speech (133 words)

1877 [127] 1st ‘microphone’ (thanks to Emile Berliner, you have a job!)

1902 [102] ‘Triple-A’, the ‘American Automobile Association’, is founded

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1943 [61] Actress Greer Garson takes 5.5 minutes to accept her Academy Award for “Mrs Miniver”, considered an Oscar acceptance speech record (a tedious total that becomes more and more exaggerated over the years)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Multiple Personalities Day
[Fri] Unique Names Day
[Sat] Frozen Food Day
[Sun] “The Sopranos” 5th season premiere
[Mon] Commonwealth Day
[Mon] Plant a Flower Day
This Week Is . . . Manufacturing Week / Poison Prevention Week
This Month Is . . . Humorists Are Artists Month / Feminie Empowerment Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
WHAT YOUR FAVORITE TV HUNK REVEALS BOUT YOU:

Jill Spiegel, author of “Flirting for Success”, says we identify most with the opposite sex TV character who shares the same strengths we see in ourselves. For instance, if you like  …
• William Petersen (“CSI”) – When you walk into a room, you notice everything. You like to hang out with inquisitive people and avoid the simpleminded.
• Simon Cowell (“American Idol”) – You communicate with family and friends in a very direct way. People who want an honest opinion seek you out.
• Charlie Sheen (“Two and a Half Men”) – You always see hope in a person. You don’t take life too seriously.
• Scott Patterson (“Gilmore Girls”) – You are very grounded and self-assured. You excel at communication.
• Peter Gallagher (“The OC”) – You value a sensitive man who will be loving and affectionate through the years. There’s a warm, soft center in you.
• Julian McMahon (“Nip/Tuck”) – You are hard-driven and ambitious. You want to get the most out of life.
• Dylan Walsh (“Nip/Tuck”) – Your family is the center of your universe. You put their needs above everything else.
• Matt Leblanc (“Friends”) – You’re optimistic and go for your dreams. You deal well with disappointment.
Source: Condensed from “National Enquirer”.

BS ‘SPOT THE BS’:
You run down the list while a caller or studio guest tries to decide if each is an actual article from a women’s magazine … or just a load of BS.
• “Sack Sessions That Went Way Wrong!”
• “He’ll Enjoy THIS So Much, He’ll Offer to Do Your Laundry!” [BS]
• “8 Warning Signs That Your Man Is Having a Mid-Life Crisis!”
• “How to Make a Daisy Bowl!”
• “6 New Bedroom Colors That Say Love Me Tonight … All Night!” [BS]
• “You CAN Make Over Your Man!”
• “5 Excruciating Ways to Really Hurt Him!” [BS]
• “Can You Really Tell a Man By His Shoes?”
• “Art Project: Make Some Driftwood Out of An Old Lamp!” [BS]
• “The No-Gym Workout!”
• “Could You Have an Eating-Disorder Personality?”
• “She Was My Friend … And Then I Slept With Her!” [BS]
• “Sexy, Sultry Make-up He’ll Love!”
• “Give New Life to an Old Sock by Turning it into a Puppet!”
• “Wicked Ways to Find His Weak Spot!” [BS]
Sources: “Cosmopolitan”, “Chatelaine”, “Cleo”, “Woman’s Day”

BS BLATANT JOKE:
Well, here I am again, gang … fresh, dynamic, witty, totally unprepared …

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s the weirdest sign you’ve seen while driving around lately? (Some of our faves – “Persian Carpet Parking”, “Greek Library. Please Use Rear Entrance”)
• THIS WEEK is “Autograph Collecting Week”. Who’s the lamest ‘celebrity’ you ever asked for an autograph?
• Are women and men different in how they express feelings for each other? How do you spoil your partner?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Couples are 60% more likely to get divorced if they have one of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A daughter.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A conservative is someone who believes in reform … but not right now.

 


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