Friday, March 23, 2001                                                           Edition: #2018

The 73rd Academy Awards will be handed out SUNDAY live on CTV from LA’s Shrine Auditorium, hosted for the first time by Steve Martin. Some of this year’s Oscar oddities –
• ‘BEFORE’ BASHES — Most of the big Oscar parties will be held the night before instead of after the ceremonies. (Because nothing throws a damper on a shindig like huge egos with an ‘L’ on their foreheads.)
• HOLLYWOOD NORTH – Semi-talented Carla Collins will give a Canadian take on CTV’s live-on-the-red-carpet Oscar pre-show, but promises not to ask “Who are you wearing?” (Although it might be an appropriate question in Russell Crowe’s case.)
• SPARES — An extra set of 55 statuettes is being kept on hand in case the originals are lost like last year. (Also ensuring this year’s awards won’t have that ‘dumpster smell’.)
• PULLING THE PLUG — The Academy is giving winners a maximum of 45 seconds for acceptance speeches. This will prevent them from thanking everyone they’ve ever met, spouting off about their maker, or talking about a political problem in a country they can’t even find on a map. (But will lead to a slew of rule-breakers lip-syncing into a dead mike while the orchestra plays them off.)
• MULTIPLE NODS – Steven Soderbergh has 2 ‘Best Director’ nominations, for both “Erin Brockovich” and “Traffic”. (Meaning it’s possible to win, but impossible for him not to lose.)
• BEST SUPPORTED ACTRESSES — Victoria’s Secret has outfitted ‘Best Actress’ and ‘Best Supporting Actress’ nominees with a $1500 custom bra featuring 9 diamonds in the shape of a ‘V’ — for ‘victory’. (Julia Roberts is wearing a stuffed one with a ‘W’ for ‘Whoa!!!’)
• CHICKEN OUT — Starting next year, there’ll be a new category for ‘Best Animated Feature’. “Chicken Run” would’ve been a lock if they had it this year. (They should also add a ‘Special Lifetime Achievement Oscar’ for the person who first uttered the phrase “Let’s do lunch!”.)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Chris Klein & Heather Graham star in the comedy “Say It Isn’t So”, about a young bachelor who finds the love of his life — but is she or isn’t she his biological sister? . . . Sigourney Weaver & Jennifer Love Hewitt play a mother/daughter con team in the comedy “Heartbreakers” – mom marries rich men, daughter seduces them, then they split the take from divorce court . . . DL Hughley (“The Original Kings of Comedy”) leads an ensemble cast in the comedy “The Brothers”, the story of 4 black men trying to make sense of love, sex and friendship (dubbed “Refusing to Exhale” by director Gary Hardwick).

BAD ACTORS:
SATURDAY the tongue-in-cheek “21st Annual Golden Raspberry Awards” for the worst of Hollywood will be announced –
• John Travolta’s horrific “Battlefield Earth” leads the way, nominated for badness in 8 different categories. Others cited for awfulness include the Madonna stomach-churner “The Next Best Thing”, “The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas” and the shaky-cam sequel “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2″.
• Kim Bassinger has pulled off duel bad acting nominations for “Bless the Child” and “I Dreamed of Africa” as has John Travolta, for “Battlefield Earth” and “Lucky Numbers”.
• ‘Winners’ receive a handmade, spray-painted gold ‘Razzie’ worth $4.27.

THE BULL SHEET 03.23.01

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1960    [41] George Fox, Cochrane AB, country singer (“I Give You My Word”, “Time Of My Life”)
1971    [30] Yasmeen Ghauri, Montreal PQ, model (Victoria’s Secret, Valentino Perfume)
1976    [25] Keri Russell, Fountain Valley CA, TV actress (Felicity Porter-“Felicity”)/began her career on the “Mickey Mouse Club” in 1991

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1936    [65] Dr David Suzuki, Vancouver BC, award-winning scientist/environmentalist/broadcaster (CBC-“The Nature of Things”)/UBC professor since 1969
1951    [50] Tommy Hilfiger, Elmira NY, fashion designer (Tommy Girl)
1970    [31] Lara Flynn Boyle, Davenport IA, TV actress (DA Helen Gamble-“The Practice”)/Jack Nicholson’s on again-off again girlfriend
1974    [27] Alyson Hannigan, Washington DC, TV actress (Willow Rosenberg-“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”)/movie actress (“American Pie”) NEXT FILM: “American Pie II”

SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1947    [54] Elton John (Sir Reginald Dwight), Pinner ENG, pop/rock singer (“Candle in the Wind”)/Eminem’s buddy NOTE: According to a National Funeral Directors Association poll, Elton John is the most frequently played pop star during funerals, just ahead of Celine Dion
1965     [36] Sarah Jessica Parker, Nelsonville OH, TV actress (Carrie Bradshaw-“Sex and the City”)/film     actress (“State & Main”, “Dudley Do-Right”) NEXT FILM: “Life Without Dick“

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• TODAY is UN “World Meteorological Day” (honoring everyone’s favorite topic of conversation)
• TODAY is “National Chip and Dip Day” (celebrate with a Pentium and some Skoal)

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000    Elton John and Tim Rice’s musical “Aida” opens on Broadway

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1743    [258] 1st ‘standing ovation’ as King George II rises to his feet in appreciation of 1st London performance of Handel’s “Messiah” (actually he was just suffering from a case of numb bum)
1912    [89] 1st ‘Dixie Cup’ (next day, the 1st dentist says “Take this, rinse and spit”)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Something On A Stick Day (beer?)
[Thurs-April 1] Canadian Music Week 2001 (since when is a week 4 days?)
National Clutter Awareness Week (time to clean up your program clock)
Optimism Month (just can’t see what possible good this can be)

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS OSCAR QUIZ IV:

• Tom Hanks could win his 3rd ‘Best Actor’ Oscar for “Cast Away”. For which movies did he win? [He won back-to-back for “Philadelphia” (1994) and “Forrest Gump” (1995).]
• Julia Roberts will likely win her first Oscar for “Erin Brockovich”. For what 2 movies was she previously nominated? [“Steel Magnolias” (1990) and “Pretty Woman” (1991).]
• How long did the first Academy Awards ceremony last — 4 hours, 1 hour, or 5 minutes? [The first Oscar ceremony, covering both 1927 and 1928, took only 5 MINUTES to wrap up on May 16, 1929.]

BS TAG LINE: Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

 


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