Friday, March 10, 2000                                             Edition:  #1761

BS TIPS FOR CANADIANS HEADING SOUTH FOR MARCH BREAK:
• Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food in this store.
• Remember, “ya’ll” is singular, “all ya’ll” is plural, and “all ya’ll’s” is plural possessive.
• “Ya’ll oughta not do that!” is the equivalent of saying “No!”
• Get used to hearing “You ain’t from around here, are ya’ll?”
• Don’t be worried about not understanding what people are saying. They can’t understand you either.
• Be advised that “He needed killin’!” is a valid defence down there.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Popster Amy Grant and country star Vince Gill are gettin’ hitched today in Nashville . . . Tonight “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?” jokester Rick Rockwell launches his so-called ‘Annulment Tour’ at the Improv in Tempe AZ (where all the ‘multi-millionaires’ perform) . . . Meantime, “Entertainment Tonight” says his soon-to-be ex-‘wife’ Darva Conger has a $3-million offer to pose in “Penthouse” . . . Tomorrow aging rockers KISS kick-off a ‘farewell tour’ in Phoenix that they promise is absolutely, positively their last . . . Buzz is Shania Twain has joined a weird cult where no sex is allowed (it’s called marriage) . . . The new Mrs Jerry Seinfeld, Jessica Sklar, has been spotted spending over 20-grand on baby furniture and clothing (will Jer’ still be ‘master of his domain’?).

MOVIES OPENING TODAY:
When the first manned expedition to Mars in 2009 meets with a mysterious disaster, a rescue mission is launched to investigate the tragedy in Brian DePalma’s sc-fi thriller “Mission To Mars” (stars Gary Sinise and Don Cheadle) . . . Johnny Depp plays a rare book dealer seeking out the last 2 copies of a demonic text in director Roman Polanski‘s horror film “The Ninth Gate” (Polanski’s more interested in the ‘9th Grade’).

2000 JUNO AWARDS FAX:
• Live Sunday on CBC-TV from Toronto SkyDome, hosted by The Moffatts.
• Backstreet Boys Howie Dorough and AJ McLean will be presenters and will likely pick up a couple awards.
• Alanis Morissette leads nominations with 5 for “Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie”. Tal Bachman, the Matthew Good Band, and Prozzak have 4 each (first time an ‘animated band’ is nominated for any major award).
• Overall, awards will be presented in 42 categories, some of them Saturday night in a ceremony not broadcast on the network.

VIRTUAL U:
University students who take online courses do as well as or BETTER THAN students who attend traditional classes, according to a new survey in York University’s ”Profiles” magazine. (They also eat twice as much pizza and have 86% more cases of ‘numb bum’.)

SALUT!
A tip of da Bull’s horns to some our newest subscribers – Graeme Provencal of CKXR Salmon Arm BC, Brian Stephenson at CKVH High Prairie AB, and Oscar Espinosa at Telemundo in Dallas TX.

THE BULL SHEET 03.10.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1940    [60] Chuck Norris, Ryan OK, TV actor (Cordell Walker-Walker: Texas Ranger)/martial arts expert
1947    [53] Kim (Avril Phaedra) Campbell, Port Alberni BC, Canada’s representative at Los Angeles consulate/briefly 1st female PM (June-October 1993)
1957    [43] Shannon Tweed, St John’s NF, 1982 “Playboy” Playmate of the Year/movie actress (Detroit Rock City, and about 60 other really bad films)/ex-Mrs Gene Simmons (KISS)
1958    [42] Sharon Stone, Meadville PA, film actress (The Muse, Simpatico, Basic Instinct)
1964    [36] Prince Edward (Anthony Richard Louis Windsor), London ENG, QEII’s #3 son/Mr Sophie Rhys-Jones
1965    [35] Paul Masotti, Hamilton ON, CFL wide receiver (Toronto Argonauts)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1931    [69] Rupert Murdoch, Melbourne AUS, media magnate (FOX-TV, News Corp)/sports mogul (LA    Dodgers)
1963    [37] Alex Kingston, London ENG, TV actress (Dr Elizabeth Corday-ER)
1968    [32] Lisa Loeb, Dallas TX, pop singer (I Do, Stay)

BS REASONS TO PARTY  . . .
Today is “Mario Day”, saluting anyone with that name. It’s held today because the abbreviated date (MAR-10) sort of spells ‘Mario’. Famous Marios include: Retired NHL great Mario Lemieux, “Godfather” author Mario Puzo and former auto racer Mario Andretti. (Free drinks at ‘East Side Mario’s’?)

Today is “Employee Appreciation Day”, when employers are encouraged to express gratitude to  employees that make extra effort. (By allowing you to keep your job for another day.)

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1996    Alanis Morissette wins 4 awards at 25th annual Juno Awards
1997    Dethroned ‘Miss Canada International’ Danielle House goes on trial in St John’s for punching     another woman in the face
1997    Ex-LA Kings/Toronto Argos owner Bruce McNall begins 5-year prison sentence for fraud

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1842     [158] Queen’s University founded in Kingston ON (home of the ‘Golden Gaels’)
1876     [124] 1st ‘telephone call’ (Alexander Graham Bell says to Thomas Watson in next room “Mr     Watson, come here. I want you” [setting off all kinds of rumors])

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 week today] St Patrick’s Day
[Mon] National Open an Umbrella Indoors Day
[Tues] National Single Fathers Who Are Not Leeches on Society Day
Autograph Collecting Week
National Craft Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:

Q: What’s the #1 occupation in Canada?
A: According to “Homemaker’s” mag, it’s truck driving. (Not hard to believe during morning commute.)

THE LAST WORD: Marriage? Sorry, I can’t mate in captivity.


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